Can't even think

[Temporary_User]

sorry, Im too uncreative at the moment to think of a thread title.

Anyways I broke up w/ the GF on Monday (may 1st). I dont really want to get into specifics, but it just didnt work out. I know I don't want to get back w/ her at all, but it sucks being alone.
I know about the "how to get over a breakup" and Im trying to keep myself busy. I just started a new job. The thing is, that I dont know anyone in this city or really things to do.
I did goto the bar on Wed. and sort of met a girl there. I thought she was really cool, and we had a lil in common. unfortunately, I wasnt exactly that attractive to her and only really talked for a lil while til she had to go.
Here is the thing. Today I had the day off, so I went grocery shopping and all. kept busy, then it started to get late, and I got bored. I decided well I guess I just did. I called the ex.... no answer.
I dont really know what I was thinking. I sat w/ her name on the phone for a while.. thinking text or call. text or call. then I hit send. the second I did that I wish I could of just hung up then, but knew that I couldnt.
I guess I was going to ask her to go see a movie or come over and watch one.

hmm, I guess I really dont know what to do. Should I call the girl from the bar? I'm thinking against it, and sort of think it might almost be too late.
Or should I just suck it up, and hope to meet some people from work?

Thanks, I know this is sort of long, but I also think I just need to get things off my chest.

[la petite moi]

I think you should try being single for awhile. Let yourself breathe, expand in certain areas that you've wanted to explore, learn to enjoy your free time without worrying about someone else. It may be a little boring to begin with, but as you go on, you'll get used to it again. THEN, start calling the chicks you meet in bars. Hope this wasn't lame advice.

[streak_56]

I'm with la petite moi on this one. I just got out of a really serious relationship and I'm enjoying being single. Start with inviting people from work to go out, and then gain some friends in the city from there. You'll be surprised on how many people are single around you, you won't have to ask, just hang out a couple of times and go from there.

[StormBerlin]

It's going to be weird for a while. Your routine has completely changed and if you're anything like me (I thrive on a nice steady routine) you're going to feel like pulling your hair out for a while. As odd as it sounds, when you feel like calling her late at night because you're bored, go for a drive instead. Or hop in the shower. It may seem stupid but it works. It keeps you occupied for a little bit and it will get you through that initial "I miss that other presence (sp?) right now". When you get out of the shower, or when you get home again you'll feel better about it because you didn't call her.

As far as calling the girl from the bar or someone else. Nuh uh. You have to learn how to spend that time when you're bored out of your mind. Everyone has to. Enjoy it. I love my alone time now because I live with my boyfriend, it doesn't happen very often. If you call the girl from the bar too soon it will be a rebound, trust me. Unless that's what you want, it wont be pretty. Especially if she's really into you. Just sit on your couch, close your eyes and breath. Think to yourself, nothing is more important than this moment, right now. And breath deeply. That will help you get used to your new "me time"

[lilfle]

i fully agree with the other posts, definately dont call teh girl from the bar, it'll just be too much trouble - take a class or something, it'll occupy your time and you'll learn something new and you'll have a chance to meet people, not for a sexual relationship necessarily, but for friendship. thats the best thing you can get now, friends..

good luck

[savvypup]

How long did you go out for T_U? Don't keep your ex around if you just want someone to hang with when you get bored. That's not at all fair to her and she may be hurting from the breakup and think you may want to reconcile.

I can fully understand that being alone is very daunting, especially if you don't know anyone or have friends that are all coupled, but when you least expect it, people will come into your life. Just be open and welcoming to offers. And by that, I mean let some walls down and allow people to get to know you. You do this and people you have common ground with will surface. Give the girl from the bar a call. She may be the link to a great circle of future friends.

[Cynthetiq]

Why can't you just call the girl at the bar and BE FRIENDS??????

Does meeting someone at a bar instantly mean that you have to have a relationship or have sex?

She's someone you met, someone you spoke with, someone who you enjoyed talking to until she had to go.

[Temporary_User]

thanks for the replies.
I like the shower or drive idea. that will probably help, b/c looking on here, myspace etc... gets old and boring really quick. Well see how things go tommorow. ANOTHER DAY OFF!!!

[StormBerlin]

Good luck. Is there a starbucks near you? I tend to gravitate towards starbucks and grab a mocha frappuchino (or however you spell it) and read whatever book has me hooked for a whille. It gives you something to do, but without having to find someone to occupy your time. And you meet a few interesting people. At least, I do. There are always interesting people at my starbucks.

[Temporary_User]

Originally Posted by StormBerlin

Is there a starbucks near you?

Yep, I do this on Earth!

I don't know if starbucks is really my scene. Im not one of those elitists wannabees who think they're better than the people @ starbucks because they think the people @ starbucks think they're better then them.
Im just not much of a coffee drinker.

[StormBerlin]

They have tea and stuff... I go more for the social aspect of it, you know, like we all did in high school? Anywho, if it's not for you then that's cool. I like to hang out at Barnes and Nobles. I spend hours there everytime I go.