TheFallingRock

I've got a rather embarassing problem that has just arisen with my new girlfriend. We will start to fool around and I'll get hard but as soon as I put a condom on I go soft and we have to stop messing around. Sometimes we can make out some more and I'll get hard again (long enough to have sex) but 85% of the time I can't cum. I don't know why I go soft or why I can't cum in a condom as I've NEVER had this problem with any previous girlfriends. Should I see a doctor?

PS: I'm 21 yrs old and I'm not on any meds. I believe myself to be fairly healthy as well.

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buffalo, ny

Willravel

Go get the pill and you have fun.

MikeSty

How often have you tried to have sex with a condom, and for how long?

AFAIK it takes a while to get used to the awkward feel of a condom.

TheFallingRock

With previous g/fs I wouldn't have any problem at all getting off in a condom so I don't know why it would be any different now. I'm going to try and talk her into getting on the pill. I'm just worried that for some reason I will need to see a doctor because I cant keep it up. It's so frustrating to be fooling around and then have to stop because my dick went soft.

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buffalo, ny

Plaid13

sounds more like a mental thing then anything. stressed out? happy with the relationship? Feel guilty about anything? you sure your totaly comfortable with her? Trust her? Now for the really stupid question that needs to be asked anyway. Are you attracted to her physicaly?

onodrim

These were my thoughts as well. If you haven't had a physical problem using a condom in the past, than that's likely not the cause now either. Sex is highly mental, so take a real deep look at your relationship and find out where the problem might lie. The only other thing I can think of - did you switch to a different brand or type of condom than you've used in the past? If so, perhaps there is something about that brand/type that is causing you trouble. But from the information you've provided, I'm guessing it's a mental issue you have going on.

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"The world is so exquisite with so much love and moral depth, that there is no reason to deceive ourselves with pretty stories for which there’s little good evidence. Far better it seems to me, in our vulnerability, is to look death in the eye and to be grateful every day for the brief but magnificent opportunity that life provides"
-Carl Sagan

tecoyah

Have her put it on when you are hard...rather than you....might help

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KungFuGuy

try to get her to do it like mr. garrison did in South Park when he had to teach the kindergardeners how to put on a condom.

outside of that I will second those who said that it seems more like a mental issue than a physical one.

MEAD

I'm going to back up the mental problem thing as well. Any number of psycological factors could be keeping you down, in more than one way. This girl seem pretty accepting already, and from what you have said, apparently isnt making a big deal of this. I think this is great, let that put you at ease. Most of the time if cant you perform once for one reason or another, it's going to mess up all the subsequent times as well, growing more and more out of proportion. Women know better than anyone that cumming is not all there is so sex, and if shes not too phased by it than just let your worries go and have fun!

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zharvey

A similar/almost exact problem happened to me about a year ago. I started dating a new girl and had the exact same problems as you are having (I am now 23).

Sexual dysfunction in males occurs because of three reasons: (1) psychogenics (it is mental and all in your head), (2) heart conditions, and (3) autonomic (neurologic or immune system) disease.

Predominantly among young adults such as us it is just a mental thing. Maybe the new girl is intimidating, or their are x-number of other peripheral external factors at play that you're not even aware of. However, to any out there that rule it out as a mental thing at the outset, a plague upon your houses!

In my case I have a bad neurological disorder. So I take Viagra. And, unlike Red Bull, it really does give you wings! My friends make fun of me, but I don't see my girlfriend laughing at all.

If you have any other neurological/heart symptoms, go see your doctor immediately. Even if you don't, go to your doctor and tell him whats up. He'll probably give you a sample pack of Viagra that you can use to test out with. Chances are you'll use it, have *more than reaffirmed* confidence, and never have another problem again.

Sex problems suck.

TheFallingRock

Thank you for reading and replying. I'm going to agree and say that it's a mental thing and plan on finding out what exactly is bothering me.

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buffalo, ny

Scorps

You smoke weed before doing it...weed will do that sometimes!

gh0ti

I've been wondering the same thing. I started smoking again about 6 months ago after a 2 year break and lately I've noticed my Libido has gone way down, It's been harder and harder to get myself off.

Does weed cause any permanent effects? or is it the type of thing that once you stop smoking, things go back to normal?

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I ain't often right but I've never been wrong
It seldom turns out the way it does in the song
Once in a while you get shown the light
In the strangest of places if you look at it right

Scorps

I don't know if its permanent, but I havn't had that problem yet.

toby19

So you have started taking marijuana, and you didn't feel that was pertinent information? Quick advice, DO NOT SMOKE MARIJUANA! Perhaps it is causing the problem, perhaps not, but I'm sure you will have noticed that it makes you libidinous at first, particularly when you embark on an extended period of consumption, and then your member loses the ability to become fully hard, etc. Maybe this isn't the case with you but you did suggest a correlation yourself. Besides, anything but very modest use of drugs is always the path to ruin. When I stopped smoking marijuna after four and a half years of use, with varying degrees of addiction and binging, my libido went through the roof, and of course I never had the lack of hardness. Needless to say, everything else improved as well, my fitness, motivation, social skills, diction, energy, clarity of thought and articulation, everything. I just feel like a stronger person, mentally and physically. Good luck.

percy

Put the condom on but rather than inserting immediately, just keep fooling around and see what happens. That might provide you with some answers

Scorps

I was like that stopped after 4 years but I'm back it just not as hardcore...not much has changed