Mr. Bush's resume - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

arch13 · 02-08-2004, 06:59 PM

I found this on a college message board. (no you don't get to know which one, it's not relevant). and found it funny.
I'm not saying is disagree or agree with it, but rather that I thought it would be of interest and be good grist for political discccusion.

Quote:

George Bush Jr. Resume:
GEORGE W. BUSH
1600 Pennsylvania Avenue
Washington, DC 20520

Objective: To secure a second term as President of the United States

EDUCATION AND EXPERIENCE:

Law Enforcement:
I was arrested in Kennebunkport, Maine, in 1976 for driving under the influence of alcohol. I pled guilty, paid a fine, and had my driver's license suspended for 30 days. My Texas driving record has been "lost" and is not available.

Military:
I joined the Texas Air National Guard and went AWOL. I refused to take a drug test or answer any questions about my drug use. By joining the Texas Air National Guard, I was able to avoid combat duty in Vietnam.

College:
I graduated from Yale University with a low C average. I was a cheerleader.

PAST WORK EXPERIENCE:

I ran for U.S. Congress and lost. I began my career in the oil business in Midland, Texas, in 1975. I bought an oil company, but couldn't find any oil in Texas. The company went bankrupt shortly after I sold all my stock.
I bought the Texas Rangers baseball team in a sweetheart deal that took land using taxpayer money. With the help of my father and our friends in the oil industry (including Enron CEO Ken Lay), I was elected governor of Texas.

ACCOMPLISHMENTS AS GOVERNOR OF TEXAS

I changed Texas pollution laws to favor power and oil companies, making Texas the most polluted state in the Union. During my tenure, Houston replaced Los Angeles as the most smog-ridden city in America. I cut taxes and bankrupted the Texas treasury to the tune of billions in borrowed money. I set the record for the most executions by any governor in American history. With the help of my brother, the governor of Florida, and my father's appointments to the Supreme Court, I became President after losing by over 500,000 votes.

ACCOMPLISHMENTS AS PRESIDENT:

I am the first President in U.S. history to enter office with a criminal record. I invaded and occupied two countries at a continuing cost of over one billion dollars per week. I spent the U.S. surplus and effectively bankrupted the U.S. Treasury. I shattered the record for the largest annual deficit in U.S. history. I set an economic record for most private bankruptcies filed in any 12-month period. I set the all-time record for most foreclosures in a 12-month period. I set the all-time record for the biggest drop in the history of the U.S. stock market.

In my first year in office, over 2 million Americans lost their jobs and that trend continues every month. I'm proud that the members of my cabinet are the richest of any administration in U.S. history.

My "poorest millionaire," Condoleeza Rice, has a Chevron oil tanker named after her.

I set the record for most campaign fund-raising trips by a U.S. President. I am the all-time U.S. and world record-holder for receiving the most corporate campaign donations. My largest lifetime campaign contributor, and one of my best friends, Kenneth Lay, presided over the largest corporate bankruptcy fraud in U.S. History, Enron.
My political party used Enron private jets and corporate attorneys to assure my success with the U.S. Supreme Court during my election decision.

I have protected my friends at Enron and Halliburton against investigation or prosecution. More time and money was spent investigating the Monica Lewinsky affair than has been spent investigating one of the biggest corporate rip-offs in history.

I presided over the biggest energy crisis in U.S. history and refused to intervene when corruption involving the oil industry was revealed.

I presided over the highest gasoline prices in U.S. history.
I changed the U.S. policy to allow convicted criminals to be awarded government contracts. I appointed more convicted criminals to administration than any President in U.S. history.

I created the Ministry of Homeland security, the largest bureaucracy in the history of the United States government. I've broken more international treaties than any President in U.S. history. I am the first President in U.S. history to have the United Nations remove the U.S. from the Human Rights Commission. I withdrew the U.S. from the World Court of Law. I refused to allow inspector's access to U.S. "prisoners of war" detainees and thereby have refused to abide by the Geneva Convention. I am the first President in history to refuse United Nations election inspectors (during the 2002 U.S. election). I set the record for fewest numbers of press conferences of any
President since the advent of television. I set the all-time record for most days on vacation in any one-year period. After taking off the entire month of August, I presided over the worst security failure in U.S. history: September 11.

I garnered the most sympathy for the U.S. after the World Trade Center attacks and less than a year later made the U.S. the most hated country in the world, the largest failure of diplomacy in world history.

I have set the all-time record for most people worldwide to simultaneously protest me in public venues (15 million people), shattering the record for protests against any person in the history of mankind.

I am the first President in U.S. history to order an unprovoked, pre-emptive attack and the military occupation of a sovereign nation. I did so against the will of the United Nations, the majority of U.S. citizens, and the world community.

I have cut health care benefits for war veterans and support a cut in duty benefits for active duty troops and their families -- in wartime. In my State of the Union Address, I lied about our reasons for attacking Iraq and then blamed the lies on our British friends.

I am the first President in history to have a majority of Europeans (71%) view my presidency as the biggest threat to world peace and security.

I am supporting development of a nuclear "Tactical Bunker Buster," a WMD. I have so far failed to fulfill my pledge to bring Osama Bin Laden to justice.

RECORDS AND REFERENCES:

All records of my tenure as governor of Texas are now in my father's library, sealed and unavailable for public view.
All records of SEC investigations into my insider trading and my bankrupt companies are sealed in secrecy and unavailable for public view.
All records or minutes from meetings that I, or my Vice-President, attended regarding public energy policy are sealed in secrecy and unavailable for public review.

PLEASE CONSIDER MY EXPERIENCE WHEN VOTING IN 2004

lucidity · 02-08-2004, 07:06 PM

very well researched. sad, too. can't wait to kick that man out of office.

Mojo_PeiPei · 02-08-2004, 07:16 PM

Wow biased and completely half truth much?

kiwiman · 02-08-2004, 07:49 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Mojo_PeiPei
Wow biased and completely half truth much?

It can't be because Bush is dumb.

Mojo_PeiPei · 02-08-2004, 08:06 PM

1) I wouldn't call Iraq nor Afganistan an occupation. Afganistan got in bed with the wrong people, we came in after we were attacked. Now they have there own regional and national government (albeit questionable), our troops are still there because of on going missions and security.

Iraq. The country is municipally run by its own people. Again due to ongoing missions we still have troops there. Sure we could leave, but it would just destabilize the country and possibly the entire region.
2) Bush had nothing to do with people filing bankruptcies or American job loss. Blame the already crumbling economy Clinton left Dumya, blame 9/11. As discussed in various other threads the president has very little control over the economy and he couldn't make it go under like it did even if he wanted to, especially in less then a years time.

Thats bullshit from the first paragraph. I could go through the rest but the majority of it is subjective half truths, and is mostly a matter of perspective/context/ and opinion.

arch13 · 02-08-2004, 08:16 PM

So if it's BS from the first paragraph on, then this is correct?

Quote:

EDUCATION AND EXPERIENCE:

Law Enforcement:
I was arrested in Kennebunkport, Maine, in 1976 for driving under the influence of alcohol. I pled guilty, paid a fine, and had my driver's license suspended for 30 days. My Texas driving record has been "lost" and is not available.

Military:
I joined the Texas Air National Guard and went AWOL. I refused to take a drug test or answer any questions about my drug use. By joining the Texas Air National Guard, I was able to avoid combat duty in Vietnam.

College:
I graduated from Yale University with a low C average. I was a cheerleader.

No worries Mojo, just bustin yer balls a little.

Mojo_PeiPei · 02-08-2004, 08:18 PM

Did he or did he not get a honorable discharge?

Kadath · 02-09-2004, 07:11 AM

I resent the implication that being a male cheerleader is a negative mark for Bush. He could have been president of the A/V club for all I care.

Phaenx · 02-09-2004, 07:25 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by arch13
So if it's BS from the first paragraph on, then this is correct?

No worries Mojo, just bustin yer balls a little.

The military part is BS. Bush was never AWOL.

Zamunda · 02-09-2004, 01:59 PM

some of the stuff about the economy and Iraq/afghanistan is very subjective (see all the threads on Iraq); not catching Osama really doesn't say much about Bush; most presidents would have a rap sheet of bad stuff they've done in and out of office...

that all being said to appease, the sheer quantity and quality of all the stuff on the resume demonstrate that Bush has messed up much more than most other presidents... test? try to compile another rapsheet for another president that would be just as impressive as this one... and even though I said some of it is subjective, certain things aren't... violating treaties and international policies right and left, for example, is disregard for the world community any way you want to slice it... Breaking a record for how many people don't like you and protest simultaneously about it? I don't think much interpretation is needed there, lotsa of people agree that Bush is probably the worst man in the pool. Oh, and America's popularity after september 11 was enormous... it took just as enourmous a lack of skill to turn everyone back against us... and as a last point, one would think the president would be a sucessful kind of person if he's running a country but Bush's business record is, well, half "disappeared" and the other half negative
'nuff said... if I were a republican I'd break from tradition and beg the party to replace him with a better candidate

*edit: oh and I almost forgot the press conferences... it seems to me that any leader should have the confidence to argue or discuss his views in a live setting ... obviously not Bush

Tomservo · 02-09-2004, 03:13 PM

There are alarming factors about George W. Bush's history, and about actions taken by his administration.

What's more alarming is the complete lack of regard for any of his actions by most members of the Republican party. Why is it politically correct for Democrats to bash Clinton while Ken Starr engages in a 3 year sex investigation, but not okay for Republicans to do the same when Bush awards no-bid contracts to a company he and the VP both have close ties with?

I'm biased, sure, but I just wonder how much more partisan we can get before it all fars apart. What will the next Democrat in office have to do before people question him? Have extramarital sex with one of the Saudi royals while married to the Queen of England?

minyn · 02-09-2004, 03:26 PM

seen somethign similar <a href="http://www.punkvoter.com">here </a>, muchos funny.

Mojo_PeiPei · 02-09-2004, 03:29 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Tomservo
There are alarming factors about George W. Bush's history, and about actions taken by his administration.

What's more alarming is the complete lack of regard for any of his actions by most members of the Republican party. Why is it politically correct for Democrats to bash Clinton while Ken Starr engages in a 3 year sex investigation, but not okay for Republicans to do the same when Bush awards no-bid contracts to a company he and the VP both have close ties with?

You mean that same company that Clinton and Gore praised and awarded contracts to in Kosovo? Oh ok.

nanofever · 02-09-2004, 04:07 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Mojo_PeiPei
You mean that same company that Clinton and Gore praised and awarded contracts to in Kosovo? Oh ok.

So because one president did something wrong it is okay for another to do the same ?

ChrisJericho · 02-09-2004, 06:33 PM

Let's put it this way, if I ever have kids, I wouldn't want Bush babysitting them.

kiwiman · 02-09-2004, 10:01 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by ChrisJericho
Let's put it this way, if I ever have kids, I wouldn't want Bush babysitting them.

Why? He'd sure have a lot of great stories to tell. I wouldn't mind eating dinner with him and my family.

mystmarimatt · 02-09-2004, 10:35 PM

Quote:

[i]
Why? He'd sure have a lot of great stories to tell. I wouldn't mind eating dinner with him and my family.

I dunno, i think Dan Quayle would be a lot more entertaining

even IF only some of that list is true, it's still scary

bt8624 · 02-10-2004, 01:00 PM

it's not gonna happen.... democrats are trying to scrape up everything they can, and it only makes them look foolish...who do you want in office? Kerry or Dean? Kerry changes his opinion every 6 months and Dean is a raving loon...like Gore was the other day...temper temper boys..Bush isn't perfect, but what pres has been in the last 40 years? It's funny how Dems would say what clinton did was in the past and had nothing to do with him being able to do his duties, yet they now lead the charge of the attack on Bush's past. Hell if we had the media we have now days back when FDR was in office, we would have crap about him too.....give it a rest.

Zamunda · 02-10-2004, 01:05 PM

the reps need to wake up and stop saying "bush isnt that bad, look at what everyone else has done" No bush IS that bad the fact that we can't find anyone better to lead the country is pretty pathetic

pan6467 · 02-12-2004, 08:18 PM

WE can find someone better...................... DRAFT TRUMP!!!!!!!!!!!

illesturban · 02-17-2004, 10:52 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Zamunda
the reps need to wake up and stop saying "bush isnt that bad, look at what everyone else has done" No bush IS that bad the fact that we can't find anyone better to lead the country is pretty pathetic

thank you.

this was hilarious. and it's not like this is all fake... i can really be proven.

splck · 02-18-2004, 07:58 AM

nice resume

02-08-2004, 07:06 PM	#2 (permalink)
lucidity Crazy Location: ...the space between what's wrong and right...	very well researched. sad, too. can't wait to kick that man out of office. __________________ Faith is the daring of the soul to go farther than it can see. -William Newton Clark

02-08-2004, 07:16 PM	#3 (permalink)
Mojo_PeiPei Kiss of Death Location: Perpetual wind and sorrow	Wow biased and completely half truth much? __________________ To win a war you must serve no master but your ambition.

02-08-2004, 08:06 PM	#5 (permalink)
Mojo_PeiPei Kiss of Death Location: Perpetual wind and sorrow	1) I wouldn't call Iraq nor Afganistan an occupation. Afganistan got in bed with the wrong people, we came in after we were attacked. Now they have there own regional and national government (albeit questionable), our troops are still there because of on going missions and security. Iraq. The country is municipally run by its own people. Again due to ongoing missions we still have troops there. Sure we could leave, but it would just destabilize the country and possibly the entire region. 2) Bush had nothing to do with people filing bankruptcies or American job loss. Blame the already crumbling economy Clinton left Dumya, blame 9/11. As discussed in various other threads the president has very little control over the economy and he couldn't make it go under like it did even if he wanted to, especially in less then a years time. Thats bullshit from the first paragraph. I could go through the rest but the majority of it is subjective half truths, and is mostly a matter of perspective/context/ and opinion. __________________ To win a war you must serve no master but your ambition.

02-08-2004, 08:18 PM	#7 (permalink)
Mojo_PeiPei Kiss of Death Location: Perpetual wind and sorrow	Did he or did he not get a honorable discharge? __________________ To win a war you must serve no master but your ambition.

02-09-2004, 07:11 AM	#8 (permalink)
Kadath Muffled Location: Camazotz	I resent the implication that being a male cheerleader is a negative mark for Bush. He could have been president of the A/V club for all I care. __________________ it's quiet in here

02-09-2004, 01:59 PM	#10 (permalink)
Zamunda Tilted	some of the stuff about the economy and Iraq/afghanistan is very subjective (see all the threads on Iraq); not catching Osama really doesn't say much about Bush; most presidents would have a rap sheet of bad stuff they've done in and out of office... that all being said to appease, the sheer quantity and quality of all the stuff on the resume demonstrate that Bush has messed up much more than most other presidents... test? try to compile another rapsheet for another president that would be just as impressive as this one... and even though I said some of it is subjective, certain things aren't... violating treaties and international policies right and left, for example, is disregard for the world community any way you want to slice it... Breaking a record for how many people don't like you and protest simultaneously about it? I don't think much interpretation is needed there, lotsa of people agree that Bush is probably the worst man in the pool. Oh, and America's popularity after september 11 was enormous... it took just as enourmous a lack of skill to turn everyone back against us... and as a last point, one would think the president would be a sucessful kind of person if he's running a country but Bush's business record is, well, half "disappeared" and the other half negative 'nuff said... if I were a republican I'd break from tradition and beg the party to replace him with a better candidate edit: oh and I almost forgot the press conferences... it seems to me that any leader should have the confidence to argue or discuss his views in a live setting ... obviously not Bush Last edited by Zamunda; 02-09-2004 at 02:02 PM..*

02-09-2004, 03:13 PM	#11 (permalink)
Tomservo Crazy Location: Los Angeles, CA	There are alarming factors about George W. Bush's history, and about actions taken by his administration. What's more alarming is the complete lack of regard for any of his actions by most members of the Republican party. Why is it politically correct for Democrats to bash Clinton while Ken Starr engages in a 3 year sex investigation, but not okay for Republicans to do the same when Bush awards no-bid contracts to a company he and the VP both have close ties with? I'm biased, sure, but I just wonder how much more partisan we can get before it all fars apart. What will the next Democrat in office have to do before people question him? Have extramarital sex with one of the Saudi royals while married to the Queen of England?

02-09-2004, 03:26 PM	#12 (permalink)
minyn young and in bloom Location: under the bodhi tree.... bling	seen somethign similar <a href="http://www.punkvoter.com">here </a>, muchos funny. __________________ "Woke up this morning with a blue moon in my eye" ~A3 "woke up this morning" "Don't compromise yourself, you're all you've got." -Janis Joplin

02-09-2004, 06:33 PM	#15 (permalink)
ChrisJericho eat more fruit Location: Seattle	Let's put it this way, if I ever have kids, I wouldn't want Bush babysitting them. __________________ "A casual stroll through the lunatic asylum shows us that faith proves nothing." - Friedrich Nietzsche

02-10-2004, 01:00 PM	#18 (permalink)
bt8624 Upright	it's not gonna happen.... democrats are trying to scrape up everything they can, and it only makes them look foolish...who do you want in office? Kerry or Dean? Kerry changes his opinion every 6 months and Dean is a raving loon...like Gore was the other day...temper temper boys..Bush isn't perfect, but what pres has been in the last 40 years? It's funny how Dems would say what clinton did was in the past and had nothing to do with him being able to do his duties, yet they now lead the charge of the attack on Bush's past. Hell if we had the media we have now days back when FDR was in office, we would have crap about him too.....give it a rest.

02-10-2004, 01:05 PM	#19 (permalink)
Zamunda Tilted	the reps need to wake up and stop saying "bush isnt that bad, look at what everyone else has done" No bush IS that bad the fact that we can't find anyone better to lead the country is pretty pathetic

02-12-2004, 08:18 PM	#20 (permalink)
pan6467 Lennonite Priest Location: Mansfield, Ohio USA	WE can find someone better...................... DRAFT TRUMP!!!!!!!!!!! __________________ I just love people who use the excuse "I use/do this because I LOVE the feeling/joy/happiness it brings me" and expect you to be ok with that as you watch them destroy their life blindly following. My response is, "I like to put forks in an eletrical socket, just LOVE that feeling, can't ever get enough of it, so will you let me put this copper fork in that electric socket?"

02-18-2004, 07:58 AM	#22 (permalink)
splck it's jam Location: Lowerainland BC	nice resume __________________ nice line eh? Last edited by splck; 02-18-2004 at 08:12 AM..