Ample

My oldest daughter is nine. She has to know. Kids in school talk you know. But she plays along with it, and for her the sake of her sister whom is five, thats cool with me.

I dont plan on telling her outright, unless I have to break her heart when she is 18, but I think if she asked me if it was real or not, I would tell her the truth.

MexicanOnABike

didnt read the other comments so i apologise if i'm repeating.

i think if i have kids, i will tell them and write on the gifts: from santa.
every year, take 1 gift and write: from mom and dad.
eventualy, there will only be gifts from mom and dad and none from santa. then they'll get it.

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Lady Sage

To me christmas is about spending time with family and counting your blessings. Though I do not celebrate christmas because I am not christian, I wouldnt tell my kids about santa because it has been my experience that then xmas takes on more of a gimme gimme gimme theme. I find that sad.

Just my opinion.

thermight

We have never told our kids there is a Santa. They believed in Santa because of TV and advertising. That lasted till they were about 7. We decided not to tell there was a Santa because of an experience we had.

Before my wife and I had kids we were out shopping at Christmas time and stopped to eat at a resturaunt crowded with Christmas shoppers. The family sitting next to us (only about 3 feet away) was talking about Santa. The child asked his mom "Is Santa real?'.
The mom said, "Do you want the truth?"
Child, "Yes."
Mom, "The ones in the mall are Santa's helpers, tell the real Santa what you want." I don't recall the rest of the mom's reply, it was 15 years ago.

This blew us away. Being an outsider we were not wrapped up in the myth. The fact that the mom asked if he wanted the truth and then lied just stunned me. We decided that night when we have kids that we were never going to lie to them.
Seems the comercialism makes the lie more important than what Christmas is supposed to be about.

mandy

Santa is sacred. I'd love to say that i still believe in Santa.And my parents did everything in their power to make sure that i did. in fact, i never stopped believing in the person until i was really old. and it wasnt ny parents who told me that there wasn't a Santa. and i think Thermight that that mom in the mall whom you heard "lie" to her child wasn't really lying, just giving her child something to believe in. i think that was most probably the best response to that question i have ever heard. it should be the childs choice to stop believing not the parent.

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Mrs Master

My older son worked it out on his own from school by 9 years of age. My younger now 6 on a different fib we tell them, told me he knew there wasnt a tooth fairy. I had been caught in the wee dark hours of the morning swapping the tooth for the money (forgot the night before......I was really tired! ) In the morning he came out and said, "I got $2 for my tooth...I know it was you mum." I felt really clever in my response, "You know if you don't believe anymore the toothfairy cant keep coming." (Hey it was only the 3rd lost tooth) He relpied, "Ok, I like the toothfairy," and prompty took his cereal saying no more.

If they dont know by the age of 8 or 9 I reckon its about time to have the cheerful 'your not going to miss out anyway' talk. I only say this because of the memory of a girl in year 6 aged 11 at school being teased ruthlessly by the other children in our class because she still believed in Santa. We were making Christmas Cards for our mums and dads at the time and I'll never forget how sad and demoralised that poor girl looked that day.

Meditrina

There was no Santa in my house growing up in a non-practicing Jewish family. I always felt I was missing out on something. I decided that I would not tell my children the truth about Santa until they ask me. I love watching them at Christmas time, believing Santa came and gave them some gifts. My daughter is quickly approaching the age of disbelief, I think. When the time comes and she asks about him, I will tell her that Santa is the spirit of giving at Christmas time, whether the other person believes in Santa or not. Then she will have fun helping me keep it from her brother for another few years.

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Redjake

I never believed in Santa. It's just impossible! My parents would tell me Santa was coming, but in the back of my mind, I was thinking "in other words, they are going to put the presents there and this is a coverup to make me stay nice." I directly asked my mom in 2nd grade if he was BS or not and she said he wasn't real. It wasn't a blow, because I already knew it was fake. It's just too unrealistic to believe. It goes above and beyond a theology because Santa is visible (apparently) to the public, has reindeer, goes to each house. God(s) don't do that, generally. So you can't just trust that Santa exists on faith - because you have proof that he doesn't exist. I'm not going to be generic and say I was a "deeply cynical youngster" and had a "messed up childhood" like a lot of people say. However, I definitely never believed. What if you don't have a chimney? Then the SERIOUS bullshit starts to flow from your parents.

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goddess_otu

Okay. Here's how it's probably gonna go around here:

We'll tell our daughter (now 18 months) about Santa, but we'll also let her know that he's made up. To me, letting your child believe something like that is just setting them up for disappointment in the future. So she'll know all about him, get presents, sit on his lap at the mall, but she'll also know that it's pretend and something that we just talk about for fun. No emotional scars for my little lady. Nuh-uh.

analog

I'd just like to add the following to this aged thread:

Every once in a while, my parents will (intentionally) slip in one present "from Santa". I have to say that it's a nice feeling, it brings me back to being a little kid for a moment. That's quite something.

snowy

My parents sign all the presents from Santa, even though I've known since I was 8 or so that Santa wasn't real. I was the first one amongst my friends to figure it out.

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mixedmedia

My first two kids believed in Santa until they figured it out on their own. With my third child, I told her when she was 4 or 5 that Santa was not real because she is an extremely curious child who asked a lot of questions about it and I didn't want to make up an elaborate succession of lies to tell her. So I told her the truth with no detriment to her excitement and enjoyment of receiving gifts on Christmas. This is when I realized the folly of the whole Santa Claus concept. Playing along with the tradition of lying to children about the source of their presents on Christmas. If other parents enjoy that and get a lot satisfaction and happiness out of interacting with their kids that way, then more power to them. I certainly don't think there's any harm in it. But, if I had it to do over again, I would tell my kids from the start that there is no Santa.

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Bill O'Rights

My oldest is 19.
I haven't told her yet.
I think, though...she might be getting suspicious.

We take one "special" present, that isn't to overly ostentatious, and isn't obviously made in a Chinese sweatshop, wrap it in "different" wrapping paper from what everything else is in, and tag it "From Santa".

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snowy

Just yesterday I told the kids I care for an elaborate tale of how Santa landed on my deck as a youth, and my grandpa and dad met Santa. We were in the basement at the time, putting on the Christmas play for Grandma and Mom, when the sleigh bells rang and we heard a great racket that sounded like hooves on the deck above.

Oh, we fell for it hard.

I didn't tell the girls that, but needless to say, they were quite impressed that I had been so close to seeing Santa.

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Warlock!

The wife and I told my oldest daughter when she was about 7 or 8. She was pretty shocked, and said "OK", but was pretty quiet about it. A little while later she came up to me, tears in her eyes, and said, "I don't think I was ready to find out that Santa wasn't real." That kinda bummed me out. However, I think if I hadn't told her and she found out thru friends, she woulda been twice as bummed, and probably humiliated on top of it.

I have the next daughter (8 years old now) who I'm debating whether I tell her this year... she still believes, and the older daughter (now 11) is doing her best to keep her believing.

Average_Joe

I have children that are all <8 years old, and they all believe in Santa. My wife and I want them to believe as long as possible because we are having too much fun with all of the Santa magic. I figure they will find out eventually through older kids at school.

Funny story: My parents played up the Santa thing when my sister & I were growing up like my wife & I do. I was ~9 years old when I was convinced by classmates that there really was no Santa. I was OK with this info, but I never told my parents that I knew. A few years later, out of nowhere, my Mother sat me down to break the bad news about the Santa myth, and I was like "Gee, no $h1t, Ma". She was half stunned & half heartbroken that I already figured it out at 13 years old!

Xera

oh Joe that's funny, in a kind of sad way.

My daughter started questioning me about how possible it really was for there to be a Santa when she was about 8. My son was still an infant so he was a major factor. When she started asking things like, "how can one person fly to every house in the world in one night?" I told her the truth, or a sort, i told her that Santa is more a spirit that makes parents want to give good things to their kids than a real live person. She was ok with that and actually acted kind of like she was relieved. I think the idea that some old guy had been breaking into her house every Christmas Eve for 8 years worried her a bit.

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Lasereth

I just wanted to come into this thread and say that I have more than 2 friends IRL that believed in Santa until 6th-7th grade. No joke. It was mentioned in English class in sixth grade and the guy went completely apeshit in disbelief.

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Lizra

I've tried and tried to tell...but my 10 year old son insists I'm wrong....I think he's figured out as long as he insists there is Santa...he'll get more gifts, a nice one from Santa, and some nice ones from mom and dad too. He's an opportunist..... I can't afford this charade though ....his gifts are too expensive now! I guess I'll have to show him the reciept for Santa's gift last year....

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little_tippler

I have no kids myself, but here's what I think.

I found out on my own when I was about 8 years old, I had already been suspicious for a while, as I have always been a curious girl, and then I asked my mom outright "You're the one who puts all the presents under the tree, and not Santa, right?" I think my face must have been interesting because my mom didn't have the guts to lie and said that it was her. I was very disappointed and didn't like that I'd been lied to. Especially as my family isn't religious in any way.

I mya be reading too far into this, but I think people should tell kids. It doesn't have to be harsh, you can tell the story of the supposed first Santa and why he gave presents and what Christmas is supposed to be about (psending time with your loved ones and sharing) and how it also relates to religion and the birth of Jesus. I think it's better than lying.

I think that that particular moment when a child first realizes their parents may lie to them is a marking moment. I think my kids will be more willing to come to me for advice and trust me more if I don't start lying to them from the start.

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Whether we write or speak or do but look
We are ever unapparent. What we are
Cannot be transfused into word or book.
Our soul from us is infinitely far.
However much we give our thoughts the will
To be our soul and gesture it abroad,
Our hearts are incommunicable still.
In what we show ourselves we are ignored.
The abyss from soul to soul cannot be bridged
By any skill of thought or trick of seeming.
Unto our very selves we are abridged
When we would utter to our thought our being.
We are our dreams of ourselves, souls by gleams,
And each to each other dreams of others' dreams.

Fernando Pessoa, 1918

kramus

I have always said the same thing. The magic of Christmas works. How it works is part of that magic, because it always finds a way no matter what you feel or think. There are helpers and well wishers and bearers of magic. It doesn't matter if it was your hands or mine that put a gift in a particular place. We are all part of that magic.
My kids accepted that answer. They still do, and I am a grandfather now.

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GK.12.3

I remember being in the 2nd grade and bringing home a card Santa had written for me...
When my dad saw my teachers' writing and the lame excuse she gave for not bringing the present I wanted, he told me no such thing existed and that if I really wanted it, we'd go get it.
Next thing you know, I was rolling around my block in my electric Jeep =)...
-GK