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I have no kids myself, but here's what I think.
I found out on my own when I was about 8 years old, I had already been suspicious for a while, as I have always been a curious girl, and then I asked my mom outright "You're the one who puts all the presents under the tree, and not Santa, right?" I think my face must have been interesting because my mom didn't have the guts to lie and said that it was her. I was very disappointed and didn't like that I'd been lied to. Especially as my family isn't religious in any way.
I mya be reading too far into this, but I think people should tell kids. It doesn't have to be harsh, you can tell the story of the supposed first Santa and why he gave presents and what Christmas is supposed to be about (psending time with your loved ones and sharing) and how it also relates to religion and the birth of Jesus. I think it's better than lying.
I think that that particular moment when a child first realizes their parents may lie to them is a marking moment. I think my kids will be more willing to come to me for advice and trust me more if I don't start lying to them from the start.
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Whether we write or speak or do but look
We are ever unapparent. What we are
Cannot be transfused into word or book.
Our soul from us is infinitely far.
However much we give our thoughts the will
To be our soul and gesture it abroad,
Our hearts are incommunicable still.
In what we show ourselves we are ignored.
The abyss from soul to soul cannot be bridged
By any skill of thought or trick of seeming.
Unto our very selves we are abridged
When we would utter to our thought our being.
We are our dreams of ourselves, souls by gleams,
And each to each other dreams of others' dreams.
Fernando Pessoa, 1918
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