helping kids deal with $ stress - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

sexymama · 04-03-2004, 08:42 AM

I got a call from my ex last night. He got fired from his job. (No surprise that this would eventually happen -- I just thought it would be more like 2 years from now as his pattern is every 5 years.) Anyway, long story short -- I had to tell the girls this morning. One of them is moving to a higher level of gymnastics next month and needs a third leo. Both planned to fly with me to go to Lebell's send off party. Both plan for their dad to come to a meet in the middle of the month (his first all year.) And more!

Now I am stuck telling them: sorry, no leo. Sorry, I can't afford to buy you a ticket to fly to see Lebell and the only reason I'm going is because I got bumped from a flight and have a free ticket. Sorry, you must go out and sell more candy bars to pay for more gymnastics. (I will also ask the owners of the gym for temporary scholarships.)

Any pointers on how to help kids deal with financial stress without overburdening them? And how about helping mom deal? I have looked at the budget and sad truth is I need that money to survive -- so pointers on what to cut back on are appreciated. (Note: I already work two jobs.)

04-03-2004, 12:22 PM

don't let them think that money rules people, but that we are fine without it. We are in that situation as well. At times it can be hard and sad, but then I know that money is just a material object, not true happiness.
I know it's different in your situation, not being able to fly to see their dad. But remember it's only temporary- and possibly maybe picking up a webcam at least?
Let children know that money is not the root of all evil, it does not rule us, and to value the things in life that you can't put a price on. All of this is temporary and things will get better.
My husband is unemplyed, and I am only working p/t on a lousy 7.50/hr for my parents, but I understand that is all they can really afford to pay me. My husband plans on not going back to work, as he has been with no work in his construction job for months now, and plus it was hard on him, physically and mentally. He is trying to get into college and I plan on getting a f/t job. However, we have to consider our son and daycare. All of this tends to get frustrating, but I know it's worth it in the long run.
Everything will be okay.
Find things to do to keep them busy and happy without money. Interact with them a lot. Just spending time with them means more to them than anything else, plus it will help them in the future.

sexymama · 04-07-2004, 05:52 PM

OshnSoul, you are so right. Although the kids won't get to go to Lebell's goodbye party (future dad), they will see him two hours later. They've been out selling candy bars to support their gymnastics and I believe it is buildling character and good work ethics. Also, the time we spend together is much more valuable then the "toys." Thanks for the reminder -- you are a true gem!

04-03-2004, 08:42 AM	#1 (permalink)
sexymama My own person -- his by choice Location: Lebell's arms	helping kids deal with $ stress I got a call from my ex last night. He got fired from his job. (No surprise that this would eventually happen -- I just thought it would be more like 2 years from now as his pattern is every 5 years.) Anyway, long story short -- I had to tell the girls this morning. One of them is moving to a higher level of gymnastics next month and needs a third leo. Both planned to fly with me to go to Lebell's send off party. Both plan for their dad to come to a meet in the middle of the month (his first all year.) And more! Now I am stuck telling them: sorry, no leo. Sorry, I can't afford to buy you a ticket to fly to see Lebell and the only reason I'm going is because I got bumped from a flight and have a free ticket. Sorry, you must go out and sell more candy bars to pay for more gymnastics. (I will also ask the owners of the gym for temporary scholarships.) Any pointers on how to help kids deal with financial stress without overburdening them? And how about helping mom deal? I have looked at the budget and sad truth is I need that money to survive -- so pointers on what to cut back on are appreciated. (Note: I already work two jobs.) __________________ If you can go deeply into lovemaking, the ego disappears. That is the beauty of lovemaking, that it is another source of a glimpse of god It's not about being perfect; it's about developing some skill at managing imperfection.

04-07-2004, 05:52 PM	#3 (permalink)
sexymama My own person -- his by choice Location: Lebell's arms	OshnSoul, you are so right. Although the kids won't get to go to Lebell's goodbye party (future dad), they will see him two hours later. They've been out selling candy bars to support their gymnastics and I believe it is buildling character and good work ethics. Also, the time we spend together is much more valuable then the "toys." Thanks for the reminder -- you are a true gem! __________________ If you can go deeply into lovemaking, the ego disappears. That is the beauty of lovemaking, that it is another source of a glimpse of god It's not about being perfect; it's about developing some skill at managing imperfection.

04-03-2004, 12:22 PM	#2 (permalink)
:::OshnSoul::: Guest	don't let them think that money rules people, but that we are fine without it. We are in that situation as well. At times it can be hard and sad, but then I know that money is just a material object, not true happiness. I know it's different in your situation, not being able to fly to see their dad. But remember it's only temporary- and possibly maybe picking up a webcam at least? Let children know that money is not the root of all evil, it does not rule us, and to value the things in life that you can't put a price on. All of this is temporary and things will get better. My husband is unemplyed, and I am only working p/t on a lousy 7.50/hr for my parents, but I understand that is all they can really afford to pay me. My husband plans on not going back to work, as he has been with no work in his construction job for months now, and plus it was hard on him, physically and mentally. He is trying to get into college and I plan on getting a f/t job. However, we have to consider our son and daycare. All of this tends to get frustrating, but I know it's worth it in the long run. Everything will be okay. Find things to do to keep them busy and happy without money. Interact with them a lot. Just spending time with them means more to them than anything else, plus it will help them in the future.