I would kick her ass for even THINKING of asking for thong underwear. I didnt own a thong until I was 21, for chrissake!! MAYBE when she's 16 or 17, MAYBE....

One thing to bear in mind is being moderate in your position. Being draconian in the policing of one's childrens' sexuality invariably increases the chance of sexual rebellion. Catholic school girl syndrome.

There is a substantial body of evidence supporting the idea that our behaviour is vastly affected by socialization. That includes the sexual behaviour of boys and girls. It can be taught; society is just a bitch to change.

Sorry to drag up an old post but i happen to think you are all being a little over the top. I have a thirteen and a half year old daughter who wears make-up, g-strings/thongs, short skirts (sometimes), low cut tops (sometimes) and padded bras. She isn't a slut and she knows when it is appropriate to dress in different ways. She has a boyfriend who is two years older than her but i know that she is mature enough not to do anything stupid. All of her friends come round the house dressed in much less appropriate attire than she does and i think that times are changing. Twelve year olds want to be noticed by the opposite sex but it doesnt mean that giving them a thong is going to automatically lead to under-age sex. I respect my daughters opinions about what she choses to wear and she has her own money to do what she likes with. Just because a pre-teen wears a thong doesn't mean millions of hormone-laden boys will want to have sex with her. If she wants to have sex she will, thong or no thong.

I think that's a very sensible attitude, Roxy.

Ahhh its days like this im glad i had a son lol.
To be honest id be locking away my daughter till she was 21.....Thongs for young girls i personally dont think its acceptable. Look around at preteens/teens these days, they are looking older and older by the year..... ive seen 12-16yr olds looking 18 and over. They want to grow up so fast. I was still rollerskating at 12yrs old.
I was told recently that they are even making thongs for 8yr olds and up!! my god what are they trying to teach todays young girls............. :confused:

just think about it..she goes to school wearing a skirt and a...thong..you rekon all those horny young fellas with charged up libidos and hormones at 100 miles an hour wont know she' wearing one? she'll be the most popular girl in school i tell you that much.. for all the wrong reasons!

just think about it..she wears a thong means its more likely to be seen than granny undies.


get her wearing those granny undies..the ones that my granny wears..yep those white knee length ones..that'd keep the boys away!

Well, you have point here. Millions of hormone-laden boys won't want to have sex with her, just because she's wearing a thong. At this point, the thong isn't even in the equation. Millions of hormone-laden boys already want to have sex with her, thong or no thong. It's in the make up of teenage boys. Trust me...I used to be one. Now...add a thong to the mixture, and you're throwing top sirloin to a pack of hungry pit bulls. Just my opinion.

it doesnt take a million hormone laden boys.....just one can make all the trouble in the world

Im sorry but there is no way in hell I would let my 13 year old wear stuff like that and thats all that I can nicely say about that

Bingo. And I'm not even talking about sexual abuse. Thinking your child is mature enough or smart enough to know better at that age is REALLY misguided IMO. As a former teenage boy (:p), I can tell you it's not entirely difficult to get a girl to want to fool around with you as well (provided she has some attraction to you in the first place of course). Girls are hormone-laden too, and at that age it just takes the right words and the right pace, and all that good parenting is out the window. I find it amazing that people will wonder why kids are having sex at such early ages now (I have heard more than a few times of people who have had oral sex as early as 7th grade) yet at the same time allow their children to dress in such a sexual manner at early ages. No, that's not the ONLY contributing factor - it is just one part of an interweaving web of cultural influence - but it is still a factor, and one which must be considered.

I love this one. I would kick my little one's ass too and lock her up in her bedroom (barred windows of course!) if she decided she wanted to be 'sexy' at 12 years old.

My four year old is with her father and his family right now, and he sent me pictures of her during christmas, and there was this one picture (which was cute too by the way) of her looking like a little big girl. Yeah I'm sure it was done out of cuteness, and I don't think the thongs would go over the diapers correctly but still...something about that picture that made me say, NO not yet.

Trust me restraining what they can and cannot wear is a mistake. My parents did this and i was pregnant at fifteen. I didn't feel i could talk to them about birth control, because they were strict christians and made it sound satanic, it made me want to do it more. For me it was fine i'm still with the man and am in a sucessful job but, i agree that most girls are left holding the baby. I think its about maturity rather than age and if my daughter can go out with a level head on her shoulders that's what matters most to me. The minute you put a thong on boys from miles afar don't flock to have sex with your daughter.

So would you say that allowing a 12 year old dress like she's 'of age' will prohibit her from getting pregnant in her mid teens? Doubtful. I doubt that all young mothers were products of overly strict, religious backgrounds.

The problem is parents these days are letting their children run them--parents have become so loosey goosey as of recent that their kids take advantage of them. If they want to be allowed to express their 'creativity', have them paint a picture, not put on risky ensemble.

I am young mother. My family was fairly strict in my youngr days and my rebellion only went as far as not doing homework here and there, or the occassional talking back. When I was 18, I ws pretty much liberated to do as I pleased, and it was after a few years past that point that I got pregnant. I can and will not hold my family's traditions and values responsible for what I have involved myself in.

thank you for saying wouldnt I couldnt seem to find the words to say this moring without sounding so snarky a mod would have edited me.

Oooh trust me shani, I had trouble containing myself.

Since when did kid become authority...y'know?!

Firstly my daughter is almost fourteen. I agree that young mothers aren't all from backgrounds like mine, but from my own experience i know that if they want to have sex they will regardless of wether they have a thong. She doesn't take advantage of me but my personal choice is to let her spend her money on whatever she wants (within reason). If my daughter wanted to have sex i would prefer her to come to me for birth control rather thean knowing i would say no and therefor not using any. Also, i don't think i was blaming my family situation i was just trying to show it doesn't make it better. As you don't know my daughter i don't think you can comment on whether she is old enough to have thongs, sex and wear revealing clothing. More to the point i don't think you can comment on whether having over strict parents made you want to have sex as everyone is different which is how i see my daughter. I don't see her as an immature thirteen year old as that isnt what she is everyones child is different and i think its up to the individual parent what they let there child wear. What i had a problem with was the fact that you were suggesting that any teenager who went out in thongs and revealking clothing was ultimately a slut.

The problem as i see it is not thongs. It is the trend of sexualizing children in general.
This is also related to the idea of emancipating the child consumer.
Advertisers have been drooling over your childs allowance for the past few DECADES. Did you really think they would give up just because you say NO?
They even have a term for this new target demographic: The Tweens. (As in between 6 and 12)
There is also a trend where the young children are making serious purchasing decisions for the household. People send thier kids to the store for groceries. by themselves.
Mercedes just launched an ad campagin with this idea in mind.
So, my point is that while on the one hand, it is getting out of control, there is nothing you can do to stop this trend. The only thing you can do is help you child to resist it.

"How is this accomplished", you ask?

1) Watch little or no TV. This is the primary and most powerful means advertisers have of isolating your children from you, and socializing them with a new set of pro-consumption values.
2) Read more. (If you read more they will follow your example. Until they hit 12, then its too late to change them. They are what you made them. Forever.)
3) Spend more time with them.
4) Critically discuss what they are being presented with. (Emphasize the means of achieving market penetration, what is the target audience, what is the subtext, what values system is being encouraged.)

This statement makes a direct implication that the reason you got pregnant at fifteen was ultimately due to the prohibitions placed upon you as you were young.

You're right, they will have sex regardless, but why give them the ok to sexualize themselves at such a young age. Post 18, they'd have all the time in the world to dress with as little or as much clothing as they want --my daughter, at least up until legal emancipation, is still a child, and that's how she will be seen as. God forbid there be some 45 year old pervert peering at my 12 year old's behind because of the little thong she purposely allows to peek out. I'm sorry, that makes me a little sick to the stomach. I'd like to safeguard her from that as long as I can.
I would assume that this money that you speak of is hers comes from the allowance that you provide for her? I would doubt that 13 or 14 year olds are allowed to take part in the labor field just yet. And if she spent 'her' money on thongs, bustiers and such, would you call her inappropriate attire within reason?
Being a strict parent and not allowing them to wear thongs at 12 does not mean you can not have open lines of communication with your children. I believe things exist and can be discussed when the time is right. Many parents can speak to their children about 'growing up' and what that all entails without actually having to perpetuate them doing so too soon. If you need to be loosey goosey to develop an honest open relationship with your children, well haven't they arleady taken advantage of you?

No comment was made to state that YOUR daughter per se is too old or too young to wear them. The concept being put out goes a bit further than just wearing thongs themselves. It lies under the notion that too many children are objectifying themselves too soon. I didn't make a comment on a parental prohibition as contributing to promiscuity. You did. Note above statement. It is up to the individual parent what their child wears and no one is forcing you to do any different than you are doing now, but different viewpoints are being offerred on the subject and the point of this whole thread is the discussion of young children essentially dressing themselves as adults. Obviously, disagreements will ensue and this is where we are at this point.
Lastly I did not say that any teenager who wore thongs would be considered a slut and I would appreciate if you did not put words in my mouth. Women have the rest of their lives to defend how they dress for the rest of their lives--why jump start that when they are nowhere near ready to deal with the stares, comments and possible advances???? Women should be able to dress how they want without repurcussion, but unfortunately it does not always happen that way. Mind you I said women, NOT children.

Definition of a women- The term `woman’ means a female human being who is capable of becoming pregnant, whether or not she has reached the age of majorit. This follows that my daughter is in fact a women. Also, she does work at a local hairdressers on saturdays but yes i also give her money as well. As long as the thongs don't go half way up her back then yes i do that as approprate attire.

Im really interested as to what area of the country you live in

The definition I got from a dictionary is an adult female person. It didn't say anything about menstruation. In the USA, that means a female who is 18. The menstruation thing may have been relevant hundreds of years ago when the lifespan was 40, but it isn't today. Girls are menstruating earlier and earlier...does that mean the legion of 8 year olds out there who are technically capable of becoming pregnant are women? I think not.

How you raise your daughter is your own business. You ARE still her parent though, regardless if you view her as an adult.

My appreciation for the definition medu, I figured the same, but then again, I could be on a totally different planet.

Funny cause when human beings are being discussed, they are still differentiated as 'women and children'

Last time I checked a twelve year old was not yet deemed as a women because she may not be equipped to make mature and responsible decisions due to lack of knowledge and experience. Isn't that why we don't let them smoke or drink at 12, or sign any form of legal documentation until they are 18?

Either way, I fear my daughter is not yet ready to sexualize herself at her young age and hence will not allow her to dress as such. You are a parent as well, and I commend you for doing what you feel is right.

Again, thanks for the interesting exchange.

England, obviously we do things differently over here.

I find that there is a slight difference between restriction and what my parents always referred to as "boundries".

With restriction you seem to have the old "you will not do this because I say so". When this comes into play there will undoubtably be rebellion, in the case of thongs, she will find a way to get a thong and she will wear it just to spite you. Just because the child does not have a job or a steady means of getting cash does not mean she cannot get something that is obviously so exciting that it is restricted.

Setting up boundries, on the other hand, involves explaining why a certain thing will not be occuring and, most importantly, includes alternative suggestions or compromises. Let's face it, thongs are sexy, they symbolize being sexy and they invoke thoughts about sex, this is no ones fault, boys are not perverted for thinking them but when individuals see things that are attractive they are excited by it. This is part of being human. However, this is not part of being a 12 year old, theres plenty of time for all that confusion later. Still, it is important for young people to feel good about themselves and have a positive self image, as a woman who wore "granny panties" as a little girl I know it is next to impossible to feel good about yourself in a pair of baggy, white cotton shorts. So, that is where bikini cut etc. underwear comes in complete with cute patterns and such. Theres a way to be cute without going overboard.

Explaination and discussion is the key, the key to understanding boundries and it carries into adulthood, being able to discuss and accept direction is a huge part of life, it should really be instilled early on.

Ok it has been almost two years now and this still near the top of the board so I guess I owe an update. She is 14 now and my wife did not win at 12 but she did win at 13. The wife and I got a divorce around that time and it had nothing to do with this issue, it did not help that she was sleeping with a co worker but that is a different story. I believe that she wears her thongs now and again but then agian i dont really see her much any more because she is mad at me for the thong thing and many other things ( not like i was sleeping around). So Thank you all for your help and I cant believe this went on for so long but thanks. Any other help you can give would be great

DON'T DO IT.

I know my s/o ONLY wears thongs (comfort issue) and I asked her and she was totally against the idea of a 12 y/o with a thong where I think of underwear not as a sexual issue. If she can keep her pants on who will know ...

I may not be able to help much, because I'm not a parent. I am however eighteen and as much as I don't like to admit it, twelve was only six years ago.

No I wouldn't let her wear a thong. I didn't own a thong until I was I think fifteen. I wore it once with a dress because it was a formal occasion. It was the single most uncomfortable night of my life. I don't wear them now.

Well, maybe you should let her have one. If she doesn't like it she may not wear it again. I'm not sure. I still think twelve is too young.

I really agreed with this statement:
I can't remember a series of books I read by Piers Anthony that always had double meanings and were pretty decent readings: Magic of Xanth, I think.

yeah, that's it, I googled one of the books I read: the colror of her panties
If that's the right book, it's about the magic allure of panties.
My point: I bet a lot of young males are more excited by the presence of panties than the absence of them. Many don't know what's going on under those pants, so it's not like they are envisioning anything other than a big black memory hole. But slap an outline of the forbidden panties under there, and the imagination probably runs rampant.

I'm not advocating thongs, but probably more for hygeine reasons moreso than anything else if pressed to answer. But I would suggest that adults not project what they find sexually arousing into the minds of minors. What we might associate with sex, may not be for them. It really could be something as simple peer pressure, style, comfort, or even some vague notion of sexual behavior. And each of those reasons make their own unique calls for a sit-down talk with the child.

Desperate
 

In reply to this i wanted to say, i am 12 years old and am desperate for a thong but im too scared to ask my mum even though she still wears them and shes 40. All my friends wear them and have been wearing them since they were 11. I feel i cant wear trousers to school because people will laugh at my VPL ( visable panty line ) i agree though sometimes my friends are slutty with them for example they will deliberatly wear a black thong with white trousers and in class their trousers always fall down a bit at the bum which is annoying. I really do want to ask my mum though.

Unfortunately chocolate-girl....there is a minimum age requirement on this site.

I'm not even that old (almost 25). I have recently started me teaching career and have noticed how differently girls dress today. They wear skin-tight clothes, show off their stomach, and have cleavage. The clothes don't even compliment their figure. When I was their age, which wasn't even that long ago, I would have never gotten away with that crap. Girls are starting to sexualize themselves way too young.
Even in my 20s, I can't picture myself showing that much skin unless I am at the beach. Dressing like a skank will only get you the wrong kind of attention. Plus it just looks trashy.
As far as the whole "thong" thing, I think that is ridiculous. Do they even make underwear like that to fit a 12 year old? When I was twelve I wore white cotton undies with flowers on them. I would defnitely recommend against buying someone that age a thong.

well.. i have to say i agree with alot of the people in this post...

but to add one little thing.. you think 12 is a bad age to let them wear thongs? try knowing one that allows their 6 or 7 yr old girl wear them...

she's younger than my daughter and she's 10 going into the 5th grade. this younger one i think is going into the 1st or 2nd grade... most likely 1st... and she wears them

if mine asked.... i wuold have to ask why? then i would allow her to wear them on the weekends that she isn't going to be going some where. i can compromise on things.

There was a UK clothes store a coule of years ago (called Etam) that brought out a range of fairly plain lingerie for adolescent girls - nothing frilly and sexual, but colours and shapes that had not previously been available for teen girls, in starter sizes.

They ran the size range down to 10-12 ages, and the response in the press was that they might as well be posting spread beaver shots of 10 year old girls in their windows, as they were encouragng paedophiles so much, and that there was certain to be a wave of abductions and rapes purely because a 12 year old culd buy a pink bra or a thong.

So in the UK, there are not so many thongs on 12 year olds.

I'm not a parent either, but again, I was a 12 yr old boy. Bill Of Rights is of course... Right. The differance with the thong is this:

With thong: top sirloin to pack of hungry pitbulls
without thong: chuck steak to pack of hungry pitbulls.

The meats gone just as fast, its just a matter of how fine it looked before hand. (Wow... Thats a pun waiting to happen).

If supermodels, and even normal 20 yr olds didn't dress the way they do, 12 yr old girls wouldn't want to either. Lock her up in the house, home school her, and never let her in public. You'll destroy the poor girl, but at least she won;t be sexualized at 12! and wont want a thong either!

Sorry to break your hearts but your little angel... isn't. And there's nothing you can do about it, thong or no thong.

Well, yeah... coming from a fully logical view, you're completely correct. But a parent wants to do everything in their power, even if it's imaginary power, to prevent things like this from happening.

You know, I keep seeing this thread float to the top. To me the terms "12 year olds" and "thongs" only belong in the same sentence if they are referring to those rubber shoes that have a strap between the toes. I'm sure that seniment has been expressed here before but I didn't read EVERY post.

My three girls could wear stuff like that when they moved away and took care of themselves.

Anyone, ANYONE, that thinks a 12 year old looks sexy in anything should seek help at once. Or, I have some biker friends that would like to talk to you.

Just my $0.02

Maybe that should be changed to anyone over 13 who thinks a 12 yr old looks sexy....

As I agree with many points of all sides of the argument here, all I can say is, think back 30 years, now find a person who is as old as you are now, and ask them if they would let their daughter wear a bikini, much less anything other than a full fitting one-piece swimsuit, at the age of 12, 14? even 15? Most would say hell no, they are too young. but now look at the beaches today? Trends change as people change, and society as a whole changes as we ALLOW it to change. Should 12 year olds wear thongs? I don't really have an opinion. My 15 year old has worn them off and on since she was about 12 1/2 yrs. she doesn't flaunt them. she only wears them when the outfit warrants them(i.e. a fancy dress...think wedding.....ets) We talk all the time about sex and the like, and she is responsible, and currently says that she really is curious about sex, but doesn't feel like she is resposible enough to try it (OMG I DID IT RIGHT!!!!!...*pats self on back*...lol)

Too late - if she wants to wear thongs then she already has an idea of what it's all about. The problem in your mind is what she wears, the real problem is what it means. If she kows it's sexy it's coz she knows what sexy is - doesn't mean she does it though.
Don't restrict her individuality educate her.

Okay all... I'm super conservative. I think I will change my original post. My daughter, who is 11 hates, HATES underwear. For Christmas, I bought her several for her to try. She doesn't go to school, (home schooled), and I thought what the hell. She love them. Since Christmas, I have bought her several more. I think the thong is hot, but not on a 12 or 16 year old, only my wife. I think thongs have their place, and as long as they are kept in their pants, then fine!

I'm a fairly liberal parent who does have several thongs, I wouldn't think of allowing my 14 and 15 year olds to choose thongs. I don't feel I'm hypocritical; I'm an adult and they're not.

If panty lines are a true issue for young teens, the boy cut undies work just fine.

After reading this, with a baby coming in, I wonder 12 years down the line if this will be the same issue. If it is a girl, here is to praying that this will be not be "in" then.

The way I look at it thongs are about looking sexy.

Looking sexy is not what you should focus your 12 year old on period.

First time I'm back in over a year, and I have to agree with Ustwo.


Who would have thunk it?



Mr Mephisto

I work at an all-girls' secondary school, and find the female teachers much more guilty of having peeping thong than the students... however, the girls' uniforms are skirts, so less likely to appear over the hemline. Plus, there are no boys in class to impress, so perhaps it's less of an issue there.