One word... prosti-tot

When a girl, especially one the age of your daughter gets to wear a thong... it pretty much means. "I want a guy to see me in it".

So if I were you I would have my wife ask her or just find out why she wants to wear them. Because if she comes out with anything of the nature that her friends are wearing them... then no. (in my opinion)

thongs
 

I consider myself a pretty liberal parent but some things bother me about the way teen girls dress these days. I can relate to the issue of thongs because 2 weeks ago i went shopping with my 14 yr old, 8th grade daughter for her new school clothes and she went right toward the super low jeans and short skirts. I dont know what i was thinking when i bought her jeans but when she wore them the other day for the first time for school it looked like she was going clubbing in vegas. My husband basically flipped out when she was sitting there and her thong was showing, and everyday since has been a battle over what she wears to school. I'm not prude at all and even when she was 13 i didnt say anything about her clothes, i didnt see anything wrong with a little bit of tummy showing. But it's so hard now to regulate, mainly because she has friends that are of the rebellious type and being that we have 2 working parents its tough to keep an eye on her. I just wish her school would enforce tougher rules on the way the kids dress. For instance, my daughter is a cheerleader and even her cheerleading uniform crosses the line a bit. Indeed it's not slutty looking but it does have a shorter than normal skirt with a top that shows her stomach slightly. I agree thats the way those uniforms are meant to be but i can't believe they let these girls wear them to school. so anyway......theres my rant.

I have a 16 yr old daughter and my wife and I dont like her to have them. Granted she buys them with her part time job money but we dont allow them. At sixteen it "could" be ok for most people. But definetly not at 12.

Where are you gonna buy these at anyways? Abercrombe and Fitch?

well, i remember back in the day when i was 12, i sure as hell would've appreciated some nice looking girls in thongs

anyways, not much harm will come of it, and if she will mind the men noticing her, then she'll change her dress habits

I have read alot of people saying to find out why she would want to wear the thongs. Easy - That is the style you find on girls who are cool. You have TV showing the people they look up to wearing this stuff. Then you walk into WallMart and you find thongs and other underwear with Writing on the upper back in the Childrens Ile. My wife and I have a hard time understanding who would by this stuff but it does sell. I remember shopping and hearing a lady with here 6 year old saying how cute the underwear was that had writing on the upper back to show off. I am just scared to think were it is going next.

There is a difference? I always though they are one in the same.

It's of note that recently I went to help out at my local high school and happened to draw the freshmen class as they came in to take pictures for ID, yearbook, get class schedules, and books.

And I noticed, year after year, a similar trend - clothes get more sexualized as each year passes. Its tough to believe that 3 months ago, they were in the 8th grade. These are 14 year olds!

i was looking trough the sunday ads the other day and in the childrens or teens section I saw an ad for some thongs. I could not believe my eyes. but hey if they want to show i will look

ditto here, I didn't start wearing thongs until I was 18 and in college and buying them myself. Even then my mom still yelled at me one time when I went home to do my laundry. As for a 12 year old wearing thongs, it has to be your choice but it is extremely disgusting! Thongs=sexiness, not much else. Except for the no pantyline, but if she has jeans that tight I don't think thongs are the immediate problem! And depending on the thong it still might be visible. No matter what the thought is gross! Even at 16 the idea makes me shudder. But that is society for you!

Ha! I've felt the same way about Wal-Mart for a long time now. There's another thread where I mentioned this too. Wal-Mart won't sell Maxim, FHM, and the like because in their opinion, they advocate treating women as sex objects. They also prominently display all the religious type books right up front by the registers, and sell censored CD's.

Then you go to the kids section, and there's underwear, like you mentioned, with words on the ass, skimpy-cut, designed to be "flirty" but coming off more as "trampy". THESE ARE FOR CHILDREN. If Wal-Mart was really the last bastion of moral family values, they wouldn't even consider selling such crap. They'd also be closed on Sundays, like Chick-Fil-A, a franchise I respect deeply for giving up a day of weekend business for what their founders believe in, though I don't necessarily share their view that it's necessary.

But this isn't about Wal-Mart or Chick-Fil-A, this is about you and your daughter. I have two toddler sons, and I'm actually grateful I don't have to worry about this type of thing. Although, I'll probably be the one getting the phone calls from parents telling me to keep my kid away from their daughter someday. I agree with the overwhelming majority in here, 12 is too young to be wearing thongs. You might also want to examine the rest of your daughter's wardrobe. Is she wearing lots of "belly shirts?" Shorts with reading material on the butt like "flirt" or "sassy" or the like? Before you know it she might. To some extent I agree with Eric640, that she might not feel like she wants them as much as she feels she NEEDS them to fit in with her group of friends or with what she sees people in her age group wear on TV. The only thing to do is talk with her, and find out what her reasoning really is, what she thinks wearing thongs will do for her, and then explain to her what wearing thongs could potentially DO to her. Hopefully up to this point you've laid down a good enough framework that she'll understand.

And, to be honest, I agree with Seer666. I don't want to have to see her at the mall.

-Mikey

everybody is talking about these preteens wearing thong pantys.i dated this one woman and she would let her 11 year old daughter wear g -strings.i do not know what is worse a g-strings or thongs.please let me knowthe difference.also what is a brazil cut panty.i was told it is between a thong and a french cut bikini panty

Good God no. Please fight the good fight against jail-bate. Just once I'd like to go to a mall and be able to look at anything but the floor for fear of seeing another preteen dressed like a prostitute. When my little girl gets to be that age, I will tell her that she is better than that. I will tell her that one of the primary messages a thong delivers is permiscuity. Till then I'll enjoy the time before dating.

i know you siad that you would not let your daughter vwear a thong and do not blame you,but i have a question,and that is would you let her wear a g-string.just wondering

I'm sorry, but I totally disagree with this attitude. Parenting is exactly about making decisions for your children until they are old enough to be able to make them for themselves and fully understand the consequences of their actions. Raising children is not a democratic process.

While I would like to be a friend to my daughter, if I had the choice of her thinking of me as her best chum while exposing herself to all kinds of dangerous situations, or thinking of me as a dictator while she was safe and cared for, option 2 will win all the time. I do not rest easy knowing that my daughter thinks I'm a cool Dad while she rides on the back of a Harley driven by a tatooed Satan-worshipper called "Snake."

And while I do all I can to set a good example to my daughter, especially in areas such as respect, courtesy and morality, she must also realise that we are not equals - she is a kid and her mother and I are adults. If her mother wants to wear a thong, she is old enough to make that decision. If she wants to wear a thong, tough luck, I am old enough to make that decision for her. I don't mind talking to her about the decision that I've made either.

Exactly - Kids always call there parents hypocrites for what they do or did. but the difference is that the parents are old enough to look sexy, The kids are not. There are a lot of things I did when I was young and now wish I did not. Just because I did it does not give my children the right to do it. If your first child burns herself on a stove and tells your second child hey that hurts the second child does not need to do it also. It is called learning from other peoples mistakes.

Get her a chastity belt instead. For further reinforcement on how teenage sexuality can injure many people, see my thread in this section. Show it to your wife.

I know some kids a little younger then that that their moms taught them to cook and its pretty good. As far as the thong thing, I would beat my daughters butt if she even tried to sneak a thong into her room. I wouldnt allow my daughter to wear one till she is atleast 16minimum and even then that still seems to young for me.

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Seriously, what the hell is so bad about thongs? It's not like your kid won't be wearing clothes over it. Plus, I wear thongs because they are MUCH more comfortable under jeans than full-bottom.
Until your kid starts becoming sexually active and wearing mini-skirts to show off her thonged bottom, chill out. Let her make her own choices in clothing, and she'll probably be a lot happier and closer to you in the long run.

Personally, I'm amazed that a 19 year old kid is lecturing us all on how bad we are at being parents. How many children do you have? What's that, none? So you speak from what, personal experience or from absolutely no kind of perspective whatsoever?

So after reading your little diatribe, what advice do you have for parents? It seems to me that your suggestion is to just give kids whatever they want because if you don't they'll just steal it anyway which will make them even worse people than they already are. Please tell me I'm wrong.

You might be a waste of space and if you want to blame your own parents for that, go right ahead. How you can blame others for your failings though is beyond me.

Even though he is my boyfriend, and I did go along with his rant with a 'yeah okay'...

You're right. You can't assume you know how parents are until you are a parent. And until you become the perfect parents, you can't tell others they suck.

Having said that, Kevin, my dear, let us make wild love and have several babies. (Oh wait, that's right, we can't, according to you. Hahaha.)

A point that I haven't seen mentioned here is that as time goes on, some things become desexualized. For example, showing off belly buttons. At one point, it was such a huge thing that it caused an uproar when I Dream Of Genie had the main character showing her belly button on prime time TV.

Now? Sure women look more attractive as a general thing when they show off their belly button, but it's hardly immediate and blatant jerkoff material. It's just a general fashion trend.

Seems to me that thongs are approaching that point fairly quickly, especially with the over-the-pants thing. A girl doesn't have to show her ass to show off her thong anymore, and the 'whale tail' is becoming a part of outerwear fashion. So while it's true that a girl who wants to wear a thong almost certainly wants boys (and other girls) to see it, that doesn't mean she wants them to see it with her pants off.

I'm not totally certain how I feel overall about this, but you've raise an excellent point. Well put.

Herk

I say, thong okay, so long as no one can see it...

My daughter is about to turn 2. I am scared of what is in store down the track :o

Personally, once she leaves home is the right time for her to begin making choices like that.

My 2 cents worth is that it's okay. After all, it's private and if it makes her feel good then why not. It's easy for us to forget how different kids are dressing today and what they feel about wearing a thong might be different than what we think about it. It probably does not have the same sexual meaning to her anyway it is probably a style thing. I have 2 daughters and although I was a little uncomfortable with how they were dressing once they were in that preteen age I realized that I was also a little out of touch with the times. To them a thong was simply something that they wore for comfort and style, not anything to do with sexual behaviour. So, I would encourage parents not to make such a big deal of it.

why does a 12 year old need to worry about her UNDERWEAR style? Its something thats NOT SUPPOSED TO BE SEEN.

Im sorry....I cant help but just shake my head at those of you that think its ok for a CHILD to be wearing stuff like this....

I don't know why she does, but if she does, we should be sensitive to her concerns and not overanalyze it. That's all I'm saying. Don't read so much into it at that age.

Oh my god. Its posts like this one that makes me so glad I only have boys. My heart goes out to you.

I was in Target the other day and was floored that they are actually marketing thongs to young pre-teen girls. It's just wrong.

amazing it is.... i have 2 boys 4 and 1 and wow yeah im glad i wont have to decide on that.....

on another note.. my dad wa married to his like 3rd 4th wife who has 2 teenage daughters one of who went thry this same issue..

my dad flipped went like way off the handle NO NO NO but the girsl mom was lile ok i suppose its ok dont worry.. it was i dunna know sevral weeks later and she started coming hom ewith boys after school ( no else was home @ that time of the day) the girls mother found out by coming home early one day.. well she nixxed the thong deal ...


my opinon is girls want to be like other girls.. friends idols whatever...

i agree with some of the other posters its the parrents responsibilty to say hell no when they say no.. wishy washy dosnt get it... if you have even an incling of is this right or wrong why would you let your kids try to "show " you the right way.. you are still the boss.....

Wow, is this thread ever an eye opener!
First off, any person or parent who allows their 12 year old daughter to wear a thong is both sick, and a bad parent.
Second, any parent or person who says a 12 year old girl is old enough to decide what she wants and it's not a parents place to get involved is sick, wrong, and a bad parent or person.
Third, anyone who is not a parent of a daughter should not have a say in this because your opinion is essentially worthless. ( I am, obviously!)
Fourth, I believe that any parent who lets their 12 year old girls wear thongs is both an advocate and protector of child pornography and child prostitution. (opinion, purely)
Fifth, I am a teacher. I see the girls come each day to school dressed like sluts. They become associated as sluts because that's what they dress like. SHAME on the parents who let their kids (up to age 16) dress the way some of them do. You are a big part of what is wrong with society. SHAME on the parents who don't have the balls to be a parent and tell them what is and what is not appropriate. SHAME on the writer who said that it's a parents job to just be their kids friend. I hope you're not a parent. I fear for your children.

What is wrong with us? How has it gotten to this point where we justify dressing our children up as bait for molesters and sex addicts? How have we become so tossed and turned by public opinion? How have we strayed so far from having the balls to use the words "right" and "wrong".

Sean O'Casey said it best: "The world in a terrible state o' chassis"

Not being a parent myself (I'm 20 years old) here is my worthless .02 cents.

Allowing a 12 year old daughter to wear a thong is a no-no is most peoples book. However, once I entered college, I found out that the quiet ones in high school were the drunken sex-crazed girls in college. Allowing your daughter to become exposed to such things at an early age can have either effect.

It's like a father offering a son a cigarette or a beer at a young age. Not because the father is a horrible parent, but because he wants his son to know what it feels like to smoke a cigarette or become tipsy off a beer.

My conservative Korean parents were fairly lax on my upbringing here in the States. I was allowed to do pretty much anything (within the law). I had my share of drugs, trouble making, and general nuisance to other people. But I am planning on becoming a productive member of this society ( a la college ).

Amen Grace....my parents were not my friends and I respect them much more than most any parent I know with children today...I have no desire to be my childs FRIEND I am a parent and its my job to guide them....NOT to let them do things that will attract the undesirables of life.

Go back to bible camp, Ned. Maybe you can get some water to wash your Wonderbread down with while you're there. If you're going to point out that part of your post was opinion, you should have done so for the rest of it; there's about as much factual information in that thing as a CIA report on Iraq.

The issue that I take with your argument is that you're arguing purely out of irrational fear. If you based even PART of your argument on logic, I might give you some credit; it's a shame when people blindly follow their emotions. As a counter-argument to what you said, YOU are a big part of what's wrong with society. Your extremist socially conservative views have no basis in reality, and I'm willing to bet you fit in with those people who lobby for more censorship in the media. SHAME ON YOU.

You've pegged me well. I am that social conservative that you labelled me. I don't think I was hiding that.
However, Suave, let's argue like big kids. Pick something specific I wrote and argue why you disagree with it and what you believe.
Now you go...

EDIT - If my fear is irrational, state why that is so...

I guess that camp is gonna be kinda full....hope they have enuff wonderbread for all of us because if my numbers are right

84 people responded to this thread (1st post by a poster was the one counted)
66 said NO NO NO
12 said it was ok
6 never gave a yes or no answer....they talked about other things

Although your intentions are good, labeling everbody under a scope of things is pretty naive and ignorant. Not everybody was brought up in your manner. I know "sluts" (in your descriptions) that dressed the way you described it in middle school. They have grown up to become very productive members of society ie; lawyers, bankers, and doctors.

I don't know what good you have done for society, but religious people like you (it is fairly obvious that your a right wing conservative) make me sick.

Changing times and ideas call for changes in parenting. Shielding your kid from the outside world is impossible. Educated them, parent them, and let them choose what is right or wrong. If they're smart they'll learn from their mistakes.

There is no research that anyone has cited that shows that wearing a thong will cause a younger girl to be more likely to be sexually preyed upon, nor that it will make them act any more sexually aggressive/submissive than non-thong wearing girls. Therefore, for our purposes, any advice or opinions written on this topic are pure opinion.

You speculate that young girls wearing thongs somehow condones "negative" sexual practice. I believe the wearing of a thong has little, if anything, to do with that. You also stated that parents who allowed their girls to wear thongs are "sick" and "bad parents". There's not much of an argument that can be made against that, as you give no reasons for your opinions; suffice to say that I disagree with you on that point.

And yes, I did come off rather strongly, because it irks me when people throw out personal attacks in discussions that are primarily based on someone seeking advice.

In addition to these points, parents had best be careful about how much they protect their kids. Speaking as a high schooler, I can very safely say that the kids who are totally sheltered and protected are the ones who fall hardest when they go out and party. A good many "good kids" whose seem to be model citizens with active parents are the kids who go out and get absolutely hammered, do all varieties of drugs, and generally run wild. Harmless stuff like underwear like this is not a battle thatshould be fought.

Not to mention that in all honesty, I can't imagine a girl wanting a thong to go out and party or do other bad things at 12. If she wants to do bad things, she'll do them with our without the underwear and probably wouldn't even bother asking for it. I'd tend to say she wants it to be "cool" and because of peer pressure. It really isn't a big deal.

unbelivable....... hmm now i wonder how this can even be said.. w/o an opinion sign next to it.... the way i see it the " socialy conservative view" has been round for a hell of a lot longer than any liberal view and this world has seemed to function just fine i mean i kept spining and evrything... this teacher is absolulty correct... if the parents let there kids dress like sluts they will be labeld as such and corectly.. i sppose suave pikced up his view from his liberal parents and thinks his view is reality.. and should therefore be forced down concervatives throats..


opinion^^^^^^^^

I said nothing of the sort. I attacked Grace because he/she was assaulting parents who chose to do differently from what he/she believes. I don't have a very high tolerance level for people going around saying others are "sick" just because they believe differently. You might say, "but Suave, you did the same thing to Grace". Yes, I did. I did it, not because of my conflicting beliefs, but as a tactic I frequently use against people who make comments like that, which could be described as "giving them a taste of their own medicine." It's not the most mature tactic, but it does help people see the effects of what they're saying.

And yes, it is my INFORMED opinion that Grace's statements have no basis in reality. I have yet to see any evidence put forth to support them in any form. I believe that if one is going to make a statement that is put in a factual manner, that it should be of factual consistency. Opinions have a proper grammatical syntax with which they should be used, and if someone decides to ignore that syntax, I WILL go after them for stating their opinions as fact.

What does being a right wing conservative have to do with religion?

A few people would rather not see their young children dressing like whores. That should be common sense. Religion has nothing to do with that. As a right wing conservative myself, I take offense to your religious label.

i started wearing thongs at the age of 14... my mother was wearing them for as long as i can remember.. as my older sister as well.. we didnt wear them to be desxy we were taught that "granny panties" created a noticible panty line... of course this was 6 almost 7 years ago but back then for me and my mother it was about comfort.. they dont ride up.. u are not contstantly picking at your wedgie..lol partly because thongs are already up there.. lol... now as far as my daughter goes... it will depend on her... if she is doing it to impress boys then no... if its because shes constantly picking her butt or hates the lines it creates in her pants then yes.....all that said i currently dont wear underwear... not to be sexy but for comfort.. if i wanna be sexy then i will put a thong on and give the guys a peek at what could be instore for them if they play thier cards right... lol

I have to young girls that are 2yo and 6yo respectivly, so am not at the age to ask for that. I think that if they wanted to wear them, even at 12, that I would let them....however, in all fairness since I am not there yet, I find I can't judge it either way.

Either way, she shouldn't be wearing clothes that reveal panty lines yet.

As an 18 year old non parent, I will say you could not be more wrong. This is the problem: if parents act as friends, the kids can't learn correctly what's right and what's wrong. Thinking of how I would have turned out if my parents didn't give me rules when I was 11, I would have dropped out of school without passing the 4th grade, been addicted to drugs, made multiple girls pregnant, been constantly drunk, and probably would be dead. Now, I could always come to my parents and talk to them, but if they would have caught me doing drugs, they would have punished me. Parents need to make rules to protect children and make them into productive, responsible members of society.

That depends on the kid. My parents basically let me do what the hell ever I want, provided that I got results - ie: good grades, not doing anything stupid, not getting in trouble (with the school/law), etc.... I turned out OK so far - my ED app for Princeton went in on Monday. It really depends on the kid. Some kids need lots of discipline and structure, though as far as I've seen this usually masks and simultaneously exacerbates any problems that its intended to cure.

In any event, I'd worry more about the WHY of a 12 year olds desire to wear a thong than the what. If its just peer pressure from other girls or something insignificant like that, then go ahead and let them. I'd only worry if it was because of a desire to get with boys.

And just as a note to all the people in here damning girls who "dress like whores," I do think thats a generational/personal thing. A good many girls I know dress in "revealing" clothes yet don't whore themselves out - they just do it to be fashionable and/or because they personally like the clothes. Just a thought...

Middle way man here to save the day! Parents need to strike a balance between being their child's friend and their führer. If you act too much like a dictator, your children will not be comfortable with you, and they will lie to you and keep their problems to themselves. If you are too much their friend, they will not treat your rules and orders with due respect, and you will lose the ability to guide them with a firm hand. This dynamic obviously changes as the children grow older, and hopefully, mature.

LAY OFF THE PERSONAL ATTACKS. And, for the record, I don't care if you're responding to a personal attack in kind, it is not acceptable.

For all of the individuals labeling parents who allow 12 year olds (who actually cares what age it is anyway) to wear thongs as sick, bad, or uncaring parents....let me give you a small insight as to the parents dillema.

I'm a 38 year old stepfather to a 15 year old girl. Her mother came to me when the girl was 13.5 telling me that she was going to buy some thong underwear for her daughter and I, at first, said "the hell you will". This is what changed my mind about it. My stepdaughter, as sweet as she is, is on the overweight side and as such doesn't have alot of friends while most of the rest tease her about her weight. With an already serious inferiority complex about her, she was also getting mercilessly picked on because her 'white cotton panties' would constantly stick out abover her belt line and these cruel kids(mostly girls) would not let up.

I agreed to letting my stepdaughter have the thongs to A)keep her from being teased and B) Being on the heavy side she doesn't dress skimpy.

It has nothing to do with trying to be her 'friend' especially since I'm more of a father to her than her biological one and its not about wanting her to be 'popular' like the others. She's a better emotionally adjusted girl now instead of the depressed teen she was before.

Walk a mile in someone elses shoes before applying labels to people based on ignorance of the situation.

People who are that mean are going to find other reasons to tease even if the "underwear" issue is gone.....thats the way they work....I was one of the overweight picked on kids....first it was...(remember this was 1980-1982) I didnt own a pair of straight leg jeans....when my cousin finally handed me down some...it switched to I didnt wear nike or tiger tennis shoes...cousin handed down a pair of nikes...switched to the fact that I actually had boobs at 12 years old...cant do much about that can you?

Are you honestly saying that thong underwear made people completely STOP making fun of her? (not being snide or anything....Im genuinely curious

my only point is, like I stated before...people are going to be mean for any reason thats convenient for them....I still say 12 years old is TOO YOUNG...and your post was about someone almost 14 (which is still to young IMO) but she wasnt 12.

I was picked on in the early 80's also for my height(or lack of it anyway) so I also remember what it was like.

Yes, I do know that the diehard bullies will ALWAYS find something to pick on other kids about. With regards to my stepdaughters predicament, once she stopped with the big white panties she was picked on far less than before. It MIGHT have something to do with the fact that she's 5' 6" and 170 lbs. She's quite capable of dealing with most of the teasing by standing up for herself. It was the underwear issue that was really tearing her up. Can't really figure out why but I'm just happy that her self image has improved somewhat.

I do agree that 12 is too young, maybe even 14 in my opinion.....it makes for a tough decision when it affects your childs emotional health. The proverbial rock and a hard place.

I think we're starting to touch upon the real issue here. What needs to be addressed has little to do with the material solutions presented. Instead of addressing - from the beginning, not just when they first appear as problems - the underlying emotional issues, we are trying to remedy them through consumerism, materialism, and falsehood. Teenage cosmetic surgery is on the rise. Why? Because it's easier to address the THING that the child identifies as the source of her emotional problem than the emotional problem itself.

There are plenty of people considered ugly who feel it absolutely imperitive that they work to conform, through changes in fashion or even surgery, to society's standards. Only that's never enough because it doesn't address the real issue.

Likewise, there are plenty of people who would be considered ugly by most who have no significant problems with themselves. They accept themselves for who they are and do not feel the need to go to such extremes to conform to the expectations of others.

This is what must be addressed from the moment a child is born. The material and social constructs must be openly discussed and challenged. The child must understand - to the degree he is capable - the forces at work around him.

There will always be peer pressure of various kinds, and I think there is a severe defecit in the empowering of children to resist pressure and think for themselves. This defecit is only strengthened by the effects of Mass Media Mind Control directed towards the parents AND the children. When an executive of "forever21" freely talks about using parents longing for their youth to make them buy sexy clothes for their duaghters in the hope of recapturing it vicariously, it's clear that there is a serious reason to question who is in real control of the decisions and attitudes in our society. The peer pressures that children feel today are direct results of corporate influence and agendas.

I've got an 11 yo daughter and I'm interested in the same thing. I'm not thinking its a good idea but don't really have a good reason.

The only problem with trying to address the emotional issues that pubescent youngsters have (although it is still the best way, I agree), is that they're all crazy. I know at that age I cared more about what people at school that I barely even knew said than what my parents said, and from what I've read of psychology, that's actually a pretty normal thing. There are numerous emotional and psychological conditions attributed to puberty, and they are very widespread in our society.

I'd think the best way to help your children deal with the pressures of puberty would be to start emotionally "molding" them, if you will, to learn to resist those BS peer issues that always arise in Jr High and HS. Also, extensive socializing with many other children at young ages is probably a very good idea as well, so that they can better cope with those issues when presented in a social situation (not just psychologically after the fact).

And I apologize for my personal attack. It's not an excuse, but I happened to be reading this thread at a period of mental and emotional imbalance. I shouldn't have attacked you for your differing views, Grace, and I'm sorry.

Well if your boys start asking you for thongs you're gonna have bigger problems! :eek:

I say no thongs, but I really don't have any reasons to support that. Just my gut feelings...

As a father of two daughters one of which is 11 I have to ask, What purpose would a 12 year have for wearing a thong?

To fit in? To fit in what? Society? With other girls? If no one is going to see their thongs then there is no need for them to have any.

If my daughter asked if she could have some and wear them I would ask her why. Because everyone else has them is not a good answer. So they can fit in is also not a good enought answer. If they can give me a good answer I will surely consider it. Otherwise the answer is NO.

It's like those shorts/sweatpants that have the words on the butt. What purpose do those things have other than to draw attention to a little girls butt?

that is verrrry right...

Obviously, to draw attention to a not-so-little girl's butt. ;) They do really work too.

I dont have children but I can see where you guys are comming from. I think its sad that children feel the need to grow up so fast.

In this day and age where pedophiles are on the increase you would hope that parents would realise that thongs, bras and vest tops are clearly adult attire, and by making small girls appear more adult is only feeding this disease.

Unfortunatly unless governments make this sort of stuff illegal, it will never go away as department stores make too much money from exploiting childrens innocence. and as long as its out there in the shops irresponsible parents will buy it for their daughters and increase the risks thier child is exposed to.

Well, I hope what I am about to say doesn't come off wrong, But..
Is more laws really what we want or need? I hope not. And not for something as stupid as thongs. Even if I do want to see the younger ones in them, asit just makes me feel like a dirty old man. Also, I don't think that pedophiles ARE on the increase. It's just that A: We are hearing about it more these days, through actual cases, and the media and church groups freaking out and saying everything is leading to pedophilea and voilence in our schools. People are behaving the same as they always have, for the most part. I'm damn near 30 now, and I still can't help but turn my head and stare at some 15 year old girl with a tight ass. Most men do. Watch them. Doesn't mean we are going to do anything about it other then masterbate over it later. While I do think that it is not really what you call right for kids that young to be showing off their asses, I also remember what I was up to at that age, and it was mostly going after chicks showing off their asses. This trend is nothing new. It's just new fashion. In the 80's it was pants so tight that they looked painted on, now it's thongs. Still amounts to people showing off what they have, in hopes of getting attention. Also, the idea of a person haveing to be 18 to be considered an adult is pretty damn new to the human race. Used to be they were married off at 12 and 13. We say it's to young now, but genetics keeps trying to tell us otherwise. There is that little part of our brains that knows that 13 year old is bleeding and ready to breed. That's just the way it is.

I seriously question the logic behind statements made by the media and whomever else that says that "young children dressing more like adults will attract pedophiles". That's an oxymoronic statement. If pedophiles, by definition, are attracted to young children, then making the children look older will decrease the interest of pedophiles* in one's children.

*According to the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual, pedophilia is characterized by either intense sexually arousing fantasies, urges, or behaviors involving sexual activity with a prepubescent child (typically age 13 or younger). To be considered for this diagnosis, the individual must be at least 16 years old and at least 5 years older than the child. (source: http://allpsych.com/forums/students/...s/000000b9.htm )

Having preteen and teenage girls dress older (and wear makeup, which can add at least 5 years in my experience) will, however, attract not pedophiles, but "hebaphiles" (Hebaphilia refers to this same situation but when the individual is post-pubescent (typically 14-17 years of age).). While it may seem like I'm being bogged down in semantics, there is a HUGE difference between someone being attracted to a <12 year-old child, and a 14+ year old teenager.

And as far as the "young children dressing sexier" (but not necessarily looking older as a result) point of view, I postulate that a pedophile, being attracted to young children, will socially affiliate typical "young child" clothing with sexual desire. Therefore, while "John Q. Public" (cliche, but whatever) finds thongs and miniskirts attractive, a pedophile will likely find jumpsuits, Osh Kosh, and overalls attractive. It is flawed to believe that we can arbitrarily impose our own standards of what is sexually arousing upon a group of people who think completely differently than we do in terms of sex and sexual relationships.

I believe these are very important distinctions to make in this sort of discussion. They are especially important as they can provide more clarity as to what points are actually being argued, and what the discussion is truly about.

©2004

Good points Suave, clearly you have more knowledge and insight into the subject of child sexual predetors than myself. I tend to agree with most of what you say as you make valid points.

That being said, if an adult ie 18+ has sex with a minor (someone under the age of sexual consent ie 16) they can be convicted of statutory rape and classified as a pedophile and placed on the child sex offenders register. This i think is where my ignorance lies.

In addition I cant imagine any decent parent would want what you refer to as a 'hebaphile' preying on thier child which, even though i clearly had the terminology and a bit of psychology wrong re: pedophiles, i think argues the case of allowing children to dress in clothing that is sexually attractive, ie thongs, will increase their chances of experiencing a sexual situation whether consentual or not, which is NOT a good thing.

Music television and TV in general does he job.

Although I think that seeing sex on TV is much better than watching the news and violent movies. (another discussion)
But 12... still kind of young.
Still I'd rather let her wear thongs than to let her see taliban beheadings etc. bullshit from the TV.

Said well there:
That's IT !!! :thumbsup:

how long has this thread been going on. there is nothing wrong with kids and thongs as long as they dont have them on.

i would let me 12 year old wear them. oh wait i though that we were talking about shoes. in that case no!!!!! only a freak would let a 12 year old wear them

When I was twelve, my best friend and I would talk about underwear all the time. We thought it was the coolest thing to have the prettiest pantsu we could find. Every day we'd show eachother the tops of our undies, and compare notes.

It was just for fun. No boys, no sex (though we were interested in this, but more as a theoretical than anything,) no flaunting our bums. We just thought it was a cool secret to have pretty panties.

At the time, we didn't want thongs. I don't know if we were even aware of thongs then. But if thongs were cool, then we would have wanted them, solely for personal satisfaction.

My parents and I have always had an excellent communication level. They talked to me about sex and dating early on, and told me I could always go to them if I needed to talk or if I was thinking of doing anything I wasn't sure of. Mum and I would go shopping and she'd help find some rainbow undies or something like that, because she knew that my appreciation for "sexy" underwear wasn't a desire to fuck. We weren't best friends though. If I misbehaved I was grounded, and there was a definite level of respect that's still in tact.

What we must consider is that at the age of twelve girls are hormonal like crazy. We get boobs, begin to bleed from very private places, and start noticing what the older girls are wearing. It just so happens that the older girls are wearing thong pantsu.

As long as you talk to your daughters about sex, then buying thongs shouldn't be a terrible thing. Not talking about IT is a big reason for the excitement of IT when you're younger. If you [parents] break the taboo, the thong just becomes a pretty piece of fabric.

Trust your daughters until they give you reason not to. They'll appreciate it.

Sometimes parents are so uppity and irrational. They attack people who question their methods and throw around their number of kids much like a muscular person would flex before a fight.

I'm curious why this thread has existed for so long for the following reason:

Parents have only three conversational settings-

1. For swapping stories about their kids' accomplishments and talents,
2. For bitching and gossiping about what bad parents other parents are, and
3. For getting together to sit and do nothing but agree with one another and create a common enemy against those who disagree with them, simply so they can think they're correct because "other" parents think they are.

And don't you DARE bitch at me for what I've written above- if you think you can immediately, and without challenge, take superiority on this topic just because you're a parent, then I can take superiority over poking holes in your bullshit because i'm NOT one. This street runs both ways.

Make your own decisions, do what feels right for your family dynamic, the morals/ethics you are trying to instill and cultivate, and the overall life education you're trying to give your progeny. Because beyond all the myriad of bullshit and tall-talk i've read in this thread is the real problem-

Thongs or not, FEW have mentioned giving their children the proper life education to know what is or is not appropriate... and the overall attitudes of the young people (at least here in America) are becoming worse, and their ability to discern right from wrong, appropriate from inappropriate goes to show the growing trend of a lack of proper life education. How to get on with your "fellow man" (and woman), how to be a good person, how to really live a good life. Morals or no, anyone can understand being a good person at heart.

Tell a person to do something specific, and they'll learn to do what you say. Educate a person, and they'll be able to do things for themselves- after all, what happens when they suddenly decide they don't want you to tell them what to do anymore? Without the education, they'll do whatever they feel like.

sorry i have been away for awhile. but I just got back and I can't believe that this is still going. I will give an update then I hope we can put this to bed for ever. \

No she did not get a Thong, the wife changed her mind with out alot of pressure from me. She was mad but then she moved on. Thanks for everones input

yeah, a little too young for that article of clothing. you should explain to her your reasons. what these... "thong" things stand for and hopefully she'll understand.

Well thats that cleared up then. 2 more years and this will be back on the table again, you'll see.

2 more years....try like 6 months when she realizes all her friends at school are wearing them.

i rember around halloween some parents making a BIGGGGGGGGG fus about pimp and hoe costumes for like 5 year olds or so. Needless to say the website pulled the costume but still offered it on a request basis.

As PARENTS it should be "our job" to decide if this hoe costume is right for our daughter. I for one would say no, same as for the pimp... when they get older sure why not.

It is our job to draw the line. There is no reason that the government should limit what is made, if as parents you limit what is worn i is much better.


I feel this goes along with this topic, because it is our jobs to say when enough is enough and say no to the kids.... but then again what do i know?

im just some dumb 20yr old

Last year, Abercrombe was selling thongs for preschool and grade school children!

I was appaulled. As a father of two daughters, I am saddened by the need to push girls into adulthood sooner and younger.

Fighting it can feel like running up the down escalator. I say, stick to your gut feeling on the issue, talk to your daughter about why you feel the way you do. Empower her to make her own choices and be a strong young woman. Who are they wearing the damn thongs for anyway? My wife says, anyway you look at it, thongs are butt floss (lol) - and no child, can convince her that they are more comfortable than regular underwear!

I think 14-15 is around the right age. Right when they start growing and expanding. 12 is definitely too early

if you say yes to thongs, it'll be g-strings before you know it.

I have to vent...I just found out my childs new step mother bought my child a thong for christmas....she's not even 12 1/2 yet

WHY are thongs and g-strings considered so awful? If the girl wears jeans, who can tell she's wearing a thong/g-string? Why is it okay if adults wear them, but it's just awful if younger girls do? Frankly, I hated the full-bottom underpants my mother bought for me, and thongs and g-strings were SO much more comfortable when I finally bought myself a pair in Freshman year of high school. And trust me, I didn't suddenly start getting hit on or become all hot and bothered when I wore a thong.

The only time thongs and g-strings are bad is when mothers and fathers don't mandate the clothing the girls wear. If she wears a little thong with a mini-skirt at age 10, that's disgusting and inviting statutory rape. If she's more comfortable wearing a thong than full-bottom underneath actual clothing like jeans and long skirts, why not let her?

Why do thongs/g-strings = adulthood, suddenly? I mean, are we going to revert back to the old days when wearing anything less than bloomers and three petticoats meant you were inviting sexual partners? How about the days when cloth pads were the only thing you could use for your menstrual period, and if you used a tampon that meant you were seeking sexual pleasure (which was Satanic)?

How about teaching boys not to be sexually perverse? It seems many arguments on here are based on the fact that men and boys are flirting with/hitting on girls who wear thongs. So why not teach boys from the very start that making lewd comments is frowned upon instead of forcing girls to wear less comfortable "granny panties"?

Jesus, people are so uptight these days... :rolleyes:

GAHHH!

Did you read her the riot act??

Kids should be allowed to grow up slower and be kids longer. I think a big part of the problem is advertisers using younger and younger looking models in seductive items/posses to sell their products. Manufactureres and advertisers are using the media to lower the standard of what is "acceptable" for how young people look and act in order to make more money by selling the kids ridiculous things like ...thongs.
Or maybe I m just being old fashioned.

ask her why she wants to buy it for the first place ? i dont think she can give you a good enough reason to make you let her buy it ?
and for your wife really talk to her about why she let your daughter buy it is it really not big of deal ? but it is cos she is only 12 what happen when 16 ot younger ?
say no to her , nowadays teens are asking for way too much out of what they should have

I'm sure women appreciate that you just set them back about 50 years by saying what you wear invites advances and rape.

I'm actually kinda curious about that myself... like why would it matter? Not that I care, but devil's advocate here... does the shape of the underwear have anything to do with sexuality in a little kid? At an older age, when small underwear = big fun, that's one thing... is the heart of the matter here that some of you can't see past the sexuality used with them by the older crowd, and somehow think that the same sexuality will be instilled in the youngins? Again, just thinking out loud. Who's to say that lids even need to wear underwear? Lots of adults don't, what's the point? Once you're potty trained, what difference does it make? Now that's an exaggeration obviously, but if the kids wearing thongs aren't using them in a sexual context, then what difference does it make? For the 12 year olds seeing it on big sis or on TV or whatever, they're just emulating. Kids have done it FOREVER. If it wasn't thongs, it'd be playing dress-up with big sis' eyeliner and lipstick. Since this practice has been in place for a long time, i'm surprised people are shocked to see their kids emulating "older kids".

HUH??? While I agree that manners and proper behavior have been very lacking for the last several years, I hope you're kidding that your answer to the problem is "teach boys not to be perverse". Aside from being ludicrous and impossible to implement, that doesn't solve anything- boys being mannerly and such are not going to change the minds of the parents pining for the lost innocense of their children. Not to mention the fact that I can't believe you think the way a female dresses "invites" rape or molestation. That's quite frankly a horrible thing to say about sexual abuse.

I'm sorry, analog, that you feel that I'm regressing by 50 years. However, if little girls are dressing up as adults, men mistake them as adults. I think I read a story by a member here at the TFP that mistaked a 13 year old for an adult because of how she was dressed, and was making sexual advances at her. If they had actually had sex, that would be considered rape. If he had fondled her in any way, that would have been considered molestation. See where I was coming from?

The problem is you guys just don't know what thongs are:

http://www.souvenirsaustralia.com/category102_1.htm

http://www.souvenirsaustralia.com/images/thongs.jpg

i agree completely...



I see thongs as something very sexy.... and something that should be worn by say teenagers... like 14-15 would be the age i might let my little girl wear one (if i had a child)... I would not let a child under that age wear them, it's too suggestive.
Thongs are seen as sexual things, like a precursor to lingerie, by 99.9 percent of the people i know... if someone doesn't think they are more sexually suggestive than normal bikinni panties they they are not seeing how the mainstream perspective sees them.

as a side note: The thing about being a child.... is that YOU ARE A CHILD and you can be a child, you can be carefree and not worry about such things as how your ass looks in those panties or if you should wear makeup or if your hair is perfectly highlighted....
If there is no boundary between what children can wear/say/do between child/young adult/adult... then isn't that taking away their childhood??

my parents made me wait to get my ears pierced until i turned 13... and it was really cool when i did get them done. My parents made me wait until i was 15 to get sexy panties... my parents made me wait to wear heavy makeup until i was 16... and you know what, i'm glad they did...

Why rush our children into adulthood, why not let them be kids and enjoy being a kid... i think that wearing thongs at a young age is another small way of pushing adult values onto a child before they might be ready ...

that's just my opinion and anyone who is around kids, works with kids or has kids would probably agree with me.

Sweetpea

That's horrible, I'm so sorry. You should hire some guys (big, hairy, obnoxious) to objectify your childs step mother for a few weeks, just so she understands what thongs represent. I'd do it, but I'm not hairy. My sympathies.

Hold your horses there, cowboy...I think you forgot the difference between statutory rape and rape:

statutory rape
n.
Sexual relations with a person who has not reached the statutory age of consent.

rape 1 Pronunciation (rp)
n.
1. The crime of forcing another person to submit to sex acts, especially sexual intercourse.

La Petite was talking about statutory rape, which can be consensual.

Doesn't matter- and i'm well aware of the difference, thanks.

The point is, one of the major talking points is that wearing clothing should not automatically "invite" sexual advances- regardless of the age of the person wearing them. So basically what you two are supporting is the ideal that if a woman wears a low-cut blouse, she is doing so because she wants me to stare at her tits and drool over (figuratively) her cleavage, and is openly inviting any and all on-lookers to give her sexual advances. No. Bullshit.

Uhm, so you don't think that wearing tight pants doesn't accentuate the buttocks? Or that showing cleavage accentuates the breasts? Human nature is to be drawn to sexual parts. If you show them off, you're going to get attention. Plain and simple.

Thongs should come with a electro zapper thingie majig that can detect age (and are only unlockable by parents) so whenever a 12 yr old tries to buy/wear a thong without approval ....ZZZAAAPPP...

And they should have an electro zapper thingie majig on the thong so when the parents unlock it for their too young daughter...ZZZZAAAAPPP.....

I suggest you demonstrate the mighty wedgie potential of thongs, especially vis-a-vis 12 year old boys in the playground who think they are a hoot. No kid wants a nuclear wedgie - thongs are unfortunately the perfect tool for them...

Clothes shouldn't invite sexual advances, but sometimes unfortunately they do. For the rest, I agree with Sweetpea.

I certainly wouldn't call it an "ideal." All we are saying is that sexy clothes can draw attention.

You are trying to twist our words to say: "sexy clothes will automatically draw attention and predatory sexual advances."

A girl oughta know that if she dresses sexy, she's likely to be looked at, but a woman can never be blamed, even if parading down the street naked, for any advances made toward her which exceed the realm of normal social conduct.

Very, very nicely said.

The fact is that thongs are a more sexualized form of underwear, and to deny this shows extreme naivete. Allowing children to wear thongs sexualizes them sooner, perhaps before they are ready. But then we have to realize that nature is sexualizing children much more quickly these days (with girls reaching menarche younger). So which is wrong? Denying that 12 year olds do have sexuality? Or encouraging it in what may be an unhealthy manner?

I don't think buying thongs for 12-year-olds is proper or right. It's teaching young girls the wrong things about sexuality, and encouraging them to perhaps engage in behaviors that they are not ready for. While children of all ages should be educated about sex and their own sexuality, there is such a thing as too much, too soon. Thongs seem to exist in this realm.

Furthermore, for a developing female system, thongs are an incredibly unhealthy form of underwear to wear. The movement of the thong encourages fecal bacteria to move into the vaginal area, increasing the risk of yeast infection and bacterial vaginosis. A young girl who has never been exposed to these problems would likely have a hard time identifying that anything was wrong with her or her system. Untreated, these problems could have complications, such as lesions (I speak from experience...not a thong wearer at 12, but wearing hot, sweaty leotards in ballet gave me my first yeasties at 11) and other problems. The material thongs are typically made of also does not allow the vaginal area to breathe well.

My verdict? Everyone should wear 100% cotton underwear, in whatever cut they like...but thongs should be off-limits to those under 16, and as long as my future daughter is under my roof, she can buy her own sexy underwear, thongs included.

I apologize for the length of this post.We have placed such a burden on these grossly underpaid people. Hypertasking has become a way of life for most teachers - children have so much more to face at an increasingly younger age. There are dress codes. The students are aware of them, as should be the parents. We should be setting the standard at home. Some parents seem incapable of doing this. Conversely, these rules send mixed messages. What is not acceptable to wear to school is the uniform of choice for certain activities (cheerleading, dance team, etc.?). I also take into account the students that are not allowed to wear make up/certain clothes and then do so after leaving the house. You do what you can. Some should try harder.

I agree and am appalled. Before becoming a parent, I never thought I would say this. Unfortunately, there is little we can do to control the media and those that implement trends. We can set examples and standards for our children though, and clarify expectations. Kind of off on a tangent, but it ties in.

When picking up my daughter from highschool on occasion, I am disgusted by the various states of undress. They looked as if they were dressed (to borrow a phrase) "to go clubbing in Vegas" rather than attend school. It made me sick. I don't know what was more disgusting - the way they dressed or the way that these kids are allowed to speak to each other in front of school staff. Teachers are expected to pick up WAY too much of the slack in the way of parenting skills. It's unfair not only to the teachers and staff, but to the children who are losing valuable time that should be spent learning to this bullshit.

Thank you for wording so eloquently what I meant to say.

Being a parent and a "friend" to your children is such a fine line to walk. I would choose being a parent over being a friend, hands down. I see it as being a sounding board more than a friend. I respect my children's opinions and ideals, but ultimately they must respect me as their parent. PERIOD.

In my house: 12 year old + thong = NO

This is my opinion as a former rebellious child and a parent.

I think this thread has taken on a life of its own.

However my opinnion is that it would depend on the reason they want them. The fallowing answers to the fallowing reasons.

Coolness = No (Everyone has them)
Boys = HELL NO, OVER MY DEAD BODY!!! And I go to store and buy a shotgun.
Peer pressure = No (Everyone has them)
Being ridaculed = maybe
Comfort/ireitation = Yes

how much longer can the go on. i thought it died months ago. it is over, get on with it already

I think the problem is not in wearing thongs but i wonder if she wants to show to somebody, either is some friends or some boy....

I dunno. analog, I kind of agree with the notion that you put out there, however, if I had a daughter, I would completely say no way in hell. Just like 12 y/o girls wearing mini-skirts. No, the act of wearing skimy clothing SHOULD NOT invite sexual advances specifically... it doesn't mean that it won't. Also, the main reason for WANTING such items is generally sexual or semi-sexual in nature. And therefore inappropriate for a child (sorry, teens are not adults, so they are children. Just the way it works).