Why do painful emotions please us? - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

platocave · 02-08-2004, 10:06 AM

Why do people enjoy watching tragedy? Is it because it's a good reminder that we're all going to die anyway, and so when we have to act, we should act decisively and well? Suffering is an inescapable part of life - is watching tragic movies, reading unhappy endings in literature, etc., a mental and emotional preparation/acting out for when we eventually have to meet up with suffering ourselves?

Giltwist · 02-08-2004, 10:51 AM

There are two reasons. Firstly, misery loves company. So, if you see someone in a movie or read about someone in a book who is going through something through which you have gone, you feel a little less alone. Secondly, it's the same reason people ride roller coasters or go to haunted houses. Life is pretty tame these days, and the body NEEDS to express emotoins, and if we have to fakeit to get it, so be it.

Johnny Rotten · 02-08-2004, 11:45 AM

It's more like a primal satisfaction in seeing someone worse off than us, morbid fascination (like staring at a car wreck you pass by on the highway), and a facet of a larger desire to experience a wide range of emotions in what may be a dull life. Hilarity, extasy, love, anger, terror--many of these things are experienced to a great degree by a great many people only through entertainment mediums, rather than direct experience.

If the people you know mostly focus on witnessing and cataloging tragedy, then you need to get a new set of people. This is usually a symptom of neurosis or paranoia. I'm not a psychiatrist, but I do speak from experience in this regard.

ARTelevision · 02-08-2004, 02:53 PM

I should add that many people have negative self images.

They hate themselves. They project that on the rest of the world.

That much is pretty simple and easy to see happening all around us.

filtherton · 02-08-2004, 02:59 PM

Schadenfreude?
The acknowledgement of the suffering of others can help to put one's own suffering into perspective.
You only have to watch a movie like "City of God" to realize how easy your life is(at least it worked for me).

Rodney · 02-08-2004, 10:30 PM

Couldn't say; depends on the tragedy for me. Shakespeare's tragedies I could always watch or read, because they make a point -- something about the human condition that actually makes sense and rings true. And there are more recent movies and television shows that are tragedies and yes, also make a point. Tragedies of this sort, the sort that have something to teach, can resonate with people who are open to that particular message and help them to consider or reconsider issues in their own lives.

Existential tragedies, however, where everybody dies and it all means nothing -- and the point is, it all means nothing -- I've got no use for. There's a certain amount of that floating around. I also don't take a lot of pleasure in watching emotionally warped people punish each other until somebody pulls out a gun or commits suicide, which pretty much lets out a lot of 20th Century American theater for me.

Zegel · 02-09-2004, 12:21 AM

Humans are extremely emotional animals, its one of the key traits that makes us human.

Its not the fact that they're tragedies that attracts us imo. We like to feel deep emotions for things from time to time, to push the limits of what we can feel, whether it be grief, love, happiness, hate, fear, pain or whatever else we're looking for at the time. I think it keeps us in touch with what it means to be human.

phukraut · 02-12-2004, 03:37 PM

i think there is a difference between watching a sad movie and crying over it, and actually feeling the pain in real life. the former seems therapeutic (especially for someone who doesn't express their emotions so freely in real life). on the other hand, the latter is something i personally would be happy to avoid. when the emotional pain is real, the romanticism of it seems to die away for me. i'm thinking here of heartbrake, loneliness, and depression mainly.

raeanna74 · 02-12-2004, 04:50 PM

Personally I tend to enjoy sad movies because I'm "justified" in releasing pent up emotions. I'm releasing them over something that was intended to be sad and I'm not having "a pity party" then or overreacting to upsetting things. I've gotten to the point where I don't usually cry over stuff even when I want to (because I logically know I need the release) unless I'm already worn down physically as well as emotionally.

I think painful emotions help us appreciate their opposites more. When we experience joy it is sweeter because we KNOW what things could be like. I appreciate having hubby around more than ever because I almost lost him. It gives you contrast, something to compare to. Otherwise Joy and Happiness would be flat 2-dimesional emotions.

Mantus · 02-12-2004, 11:01 PM

I feel that at the heart of it it's quite simple. We cannot have the good without the bad. Observing bad things happen to other people makes us appreciate what is good in our lives.

Demonism · 02-13-2004, 06:58 PM

they dont please me. at least i dont think so.

k1ng · 02-13-2004, 10:15 PM

This is how it is for me: I go through all the motions (wake up, school, work, sleep) with a little variation from time to time. Most of the itme, I don't "feel" anything. I'm not really happy or really angry. I'm just there.

So when something bad happens to me, it forces me to have feelings (anger and frustration).

I'm sure people will disagree with me, but after a long time of feeling "nothing," some feelings, even if they are bad sometimes, are better than no feelings.

Of course, I'd rather have something good happen and cause me to have happy feelings, but it seems like more bad things happen then good things.

I don't know, I guess I take what I can get.

irateplatypus · 02-14-2004, 09:27 AM

i agree w/what most of what k1ng posted.

i think that oftentimes people are so numb to everything in life that they'll take any deviation from a calloused response. and, since these same people often have an initially pessimistic reaction to events, it is so much easier for them to react to a "bad" happening than it is for them to feel anything from "good."

wannabenakid247 · 02-23-2004, 11:27 AM

Its like it provides some sort of sick excitement to bored people I supose almost like entertainment. Its also the way the media dramatises everything like in hollywood. I think people almost forget its reality.

tiberry · 02-24-2004, 06:15 AM

Its the desire to experience...all there is to experience. Deep feelings - whether they're positive or negative make you feel alive. That's what life is...what its all about. We create each situation we find ourselves in - whether we want to accept that or not - just to experience that particular feeling...

Ever wonder why people like music? How some people seem to gravitate towards a certain kind of music? How about a particular song that makes you FEEL a certain way? Do you really like the song or do you enjoy the way it makes you feel?

Its a steady theme in this post - without feeling, life is boring...there is no purpose. FEELING is what life is all about.

You know its true...

Arsenic7 · 02-24-2004, 11:37 AM

I just chalk it up to life experience. We all go through a certain amount of crap in our lives but that doesn't make them any worse, it just fleshes them out. Think what your life would be like if it was free from sadness, pain, and anger....pretty boring.

WE NEED DRAMA!

anti fishstick · 02-26-2004, 11:52 AM

because people like and choose suffering. it makes them feel alive. because existance is suffering.

thespian86 · 03-01-2004, 01:20 PM

Maybe the fact that as we grew up all we saw was that the good guy got the girl and won. When ever i watch a disney film now I pray to God that the bad guy wins. It's so very unrealistic. Maybe we like it because it keeps us in check. hope that helps.

02-08-2004, 10:06 AM	#1 (permalink)
platocave Upright	Why do painful emotions please us? Why do people enjoy watching tragedy? Is it because it's a good reminder that we're all going to die anyway, and so when we have to act, we should act decisively and well? Suffering is an inescapable part of life - is watching tragic movies, reading unhappy endings in literature, etc., a mental and emotional preparation/acting out for when we eventually have to meet up with suffering ourselves? __________________ Respect the cruller, and tame the doughnut!

02-08-2004, 02:53 PM	#4 (permalink)
ARTelevision I change Location: USA	I should add that many people have negative self images. They hate themselves. They project that on the rest of the world. That much is pretty simple and easy to see happening all around us. __________________ create evolution

02-12-2004, 04:50 PM	#9 (permalink)
raeanna74 I'm not a blonde! I'm knot! I'm knot! I'm knot! Location: Upper Michigan	Personally I tend to enjoy sad movies because I'm "justified" in releasing pent up emotions. I'm releasing them over something that was intended to be sad and I'm not having "a pity party" then or overreacting to upsetting things. I've gotten to the point where I don't usually cry over stuff even when I want to (because I logically know I need the release) unless I'm already worn down physically as well as emotionally. I think painful emotions help us appreciate their opposites more. When we experience joy it is sweeter because we KNOW what things could be like. I appreciate having hubby around more than ever because I almost lost him. It gives you contrast, something to compare to. Otherwise Joy and Happiness would be flat 2-dimesional emotions. __________________ "Always learn the rules so that you can break them properly." Dalai Lama My Karma just ran over your Dogma.

02-13-2004, 10:15 PM	#12 (permalink)
k1ng Nothing Location: Atlanta, GA	This is how it is for me: I go through all the motions (wake up, school, work, sleep) with a little variation from time to time. Most of the itme, I don't "feel" anything. I'm not really happy or really angry. I'm just there. So when something bad happens to me, it forces me to have feelings (anger and frustration). I'm sure people will disagree with me, but after a long time of feeling "nothing," some feelings, even if they are bad sometimes, are better than no feelings. Of course, I'd rather have something good happen and cause me to have happy feelings, but it seems like more bad things happen then good things. I don't know, I guess I take what I can get. __________________ "Delight in excellence is easily confused with snobbery by the ignorant." -Joseph Epstein

02-14-2004, 09:27 AM	#13 (permalink)
irateplatypus can't help but laugh Location: dar al-harb	i agree w/what most of what k1ng posted. i think that oftentimes people are so numb to everything in life that they'll take any deviation from a calloused response. and, since these same people often have an initially pessimistic reaction to events, it is so much easier for them to react to a "bad" happening than it is for them to feel anything from "good." __________________ If you will not fight when your victory will be sure and not too costly, you may come to the moment when you will have to fight with all the odds against you and only a precarious chance for survival. There may even be a worse case. You may have to fight when there is no hope of victory, because it is better to perish than to live as slaves. ~ Winston Churchill

02-08-2004, 10:51 AM	#2 (permalink)
Giltwist Insane Location: Pennsylvania	There are two reasons. Firstly, misery loves company. So, if you see someone in a movie or read about someone in a book who is going through something through which you have gone, you feel a little less alone. Secondly, it's the same reason people ride roller coasters or go to haunted houses. Life is pretty tame these days, and the body NEEDS to express emotoins, and if we have to fakeit to get it, so be it.

02-08-2004, 11:45 AM	#3 (permalink)
Johnny Rotten lost and found Location: Berkeley	It's more like a primal satisfaction in seeing someone worse off than us, morbid fascination (like staring at a car wreck you pass by on the highway), and a facet of a larger desire to experience a wide range of emotions in what may be a dull life. Hilarity, extasy, love, anger, terror--many of these things are experienced to a great degree by a great many people only through entertainment mediums, rather than direct experience. If the people you know mostly focus on witnessing and cataloging tragedy, then you need to get a new set of people. This is usually a symptom of neurosis or paranoia. I'm not a psychiatrist, but I do speak from experience in this regard.

02-08-2004, 02:59 PM	#5 (permalink)
filtherton Junkie Location: In the land of ice and snow.	Schadenfreude? The acknowledgement of the suffering of others can help to put one's own suffering into perspective. You only have to watch a movie like "City of God" to realize how easy your life is(at least it worked for me).

02-08-2004, 10:30 PM	#6 (permalink)
Rodney Observant Ruminant Location: Rich Wannabe Hippie Town	Couldn't say; depends on the tragedy for me. Shakespeare's tragedies I could always watch or read, because they make a point -- something about the human condition that actually makes sense and rings true. And there are more recent movies and television shows that are tragedies and yes, also make a point. Tragedies of this sort, the sort that have something to teach, can resonate with people who are open to that particular message and help them to consider or reconsider issues in their own lives. Existential tragedies, however, where everybody dies and it all means nothing -- and the point is, it all means nothing -- I've got no use for. There's a certain amount of that floating around. I also don't take a lot of pleasure in watching emotionally warped people punish each other until somebody pulls out a gun or commits suicide, which pretty much lets out a lot of 20th Century American theater for me.

02-09-2004, 12:21 AM	#7 (permalink)
Zegel Tilted	Humans are extremely emotional animals, its one of the key traits that makes us human. Its not the fact that they're tragedies that attracts us imo. We like to feel deep emotions for things from time to time, to push the limits of what we can feel, whether it be grief, love, happiness, hate, fear, pain or whatever else we're looking for at the time. I think it keeps us in touch with what it means to be human.

02-12-2004, 03:37 PM	#8 (permalink)
phukraut Addict	i think there is a difference between watching a sad movie and crying over it, and actually feeling the pain in real life. the former seems therapeutic (especially for someone who doesn't express their emotions so freely in real life). on the other hand, the latter is something i personally would be happy to avoid. when the emotional pain is real, the romanticism of it seems to die away for me. i'm thinking here of heartbrake, loneliness, and depression mainly.

02-12-2004, 11:01 PM	#10 (permalink)
Mantus lascivious	I feel that at the heart of it it's quite simple. We cannot have the good without the bad. Observing bad things happen to other people makes us appreciate what is good in our lives.

02-13-2004, 06:58 PM	#11 (permalink)
Demonism Upright	they dont please me. at least i dont think so.

02-23-2004, 11:27 AM	#14 (permalink)
wannabenakid247 Registered User Location: Wales, UK	Its like it provides some sort of sick excitement to bored people I supose almost like entertainment. Its also the way the media dramatises everything like in hollywood. I think people almost forget its reality.

02-24-2004, 06:15 AM	#15 (permalink)
tiberry Insane Location: Location, Location!	Its the desire to experience...all there is to experience. Deep feelings - whether they're positive or negative make you feel alive. That's what life is...what its all about. We create each situation we find ourselves in - whether we want to accept that or not - just to experience that particular feeling... Ever wonder why people like music? How some people seem to gravitate towards a certain kind of music? How about a particular song that makes you FEEL a certain way? Do you really like the song or do you enjoy the way it makes you feel? Its a steady theme in this post - without feeling, life is boring...there is no purpose. FEELING is what life is all about. You know its true... __________________ My life's work is to bridge the gap between that which is perceived by the mind and that which is quantifiable by words and numbers. Last edited by tiberry; 02-24-2004 at 06:21 AM..

02-24-2004, 11:37 AM	#16 (permalink)
Arsenic7 Insane Location: Corvallis, OR.	I just chalk it up to life experience. We all go through a certain amount of crap in our lives but that doesn't make them any worse, it just fleshes them out. Think what your life would be like if it was free from sadness, pain, and anger....pretty boring. WE NEED DRAMA! __________________ This is no sig.

02-26-2004, 11:52 AM	#17 (permalink)
anti fishstick Post-modernism meets Individualism AKA the Clash Location: oregon	because people like and choose suffering. it makes them feel alive. because existance is suffering. __________________ And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom. ~Anais Nin

03-01-2004, 01:20 PM	#18 (permalink)
thespian86 change is hard. Location: the green room.	Maybe the fact that as we grew up all we saw was that the good guy got the girl and won. When ever i watch a disney film now I pray to God that the bad guy wins. It's so very unrealistic. Maybe we like it because it keeps us in check. hope that helps. __________________ EX: Whats new? ME: I officially love coffee more then you now. EX: uh... ME: So, not much.