Giltwist

What makes an act charitable? Is it the intent? But does this then excuse failed attempts? For all your good intentions, more harm may be done that good. Or is it the effect your actions cause? While you may only be charitable for, say, notoriety, is it enough that your acts have improved in some way or another, the lives of others?

My dilemma: My friend is in the hospital. I really do not enjoy going to hospitals. This being the case, it would be selfish of me not to go, for my going may make my friend feel better. On the other hand, if I don't go, I would never hear the end of it from some of my friends. That being the case, it would be selfish of me to go for my desire is not to solely to help but also to avoid trouble.

Thoughts, reactions.

Edit: Be aware that I AM going, but this does not solve the ethical dilemma.

Mantus

Cool topic, to tell you the truth this is the first time I gave any thought to it. These is what I came up with after some two hours of musing:

My definition of charity
- A charitable act is an act that gives something of oneself in an attempt to improve the life of another/others.
- If the act itself fails then it is not charity, as one did not actually give anything.
- If the act succeeded yet has no positive results then it would still be charitable for one did give something of one self.
- Also, if one gives something and then expects something in return, be it praise, avoidance of harm, or any other thing that originates externally, then the act is not charitable.

Thinking about my own acts of charity brought me to a rather unwelcome conclusion: It seems that nothing we do is a truly self-less act. Using myself as an example, everything I do seems to have a selfish under layer. I give to my friends because I want to keep my friends. I give to my parents because I feel I own them a debt. I give to people around me in hope that they will be give back. I give to my lover to be loved back. Even when I do a spontaneous nice act, like throw a coin to a homeless person, I am still doing it for gain. Because right afterwards I am patting myself on the back. There also seems to be a very subtle sensation of showing off my charity in front of others. So I did a throw a coin to be charitable, or did I do it to feel better about myself or even make other people feel good about me?

I believe that tossing a coin could be a charitable act as long as one doesn’t expect any sort of social approval from the act. The feeling of pride does not make the act any less charitable. Since the pride comes from within, it would not qualify as being something external and therefore one is giving no less and receiving nothing back from any one else.

As some might notice, the closer a bond between the giver and the receiver of charity the less charitable the act becomes. The more complex a relationship gets, the more pressure there is on the individuals to be as hospitable as possible because we have allot more to lose if a tight relationship ends. Considering we have no control over this phenomenon, it is not that we are becoming more selfish as a relationship grows but rather our options become rather limited to a point where we almost have no choice but to be charitable.

Consequently since our choice is limited with people close to us an act of charity towards strangers would hold more value then an act of charity towards some one close. We counter balance this is by offering more to people closer to us. For example, if we give five dollars to a random stranger on the street would prompt a more enthusiastic reply then giving five dollars to a close friend.

I’ll leave it at that, critique away

wilbjammin

Charity - an act that is done for moral reasons other than pity. You are not being charitable if you choose to suffer needlessly to get the same effect as you would through some other activity - that is martyrdom. A charitable act done only out of a sense of obligation and no intrinsic pleasure is duty (charity = intrinsic, duty = extrinsic). Thus, intent matters, though I would venture to say that one ought to consider what they believe the effects are going to be before attempting to be charitable.

My answer to your dilemma is this: it would not be charitable to visit your friend, it would be dutiful. The question then remains - do you get any amount of joy out of duty?

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Giltwist

Welcome to psychological egoism, the belief that the human being is incapable of doing anything that isnt at least indirectly self-centered.

So is duty a selfish or unselfish act? Surely, if you feel obligated to do something, you would feel bad if you didn't. Then you are being selfish because you are avoiding guilt or whatever.

irseg

From www.altruism.org:

This quote is stupid. Altruism by definition is selfless giving. Fulfilling your "desire to give for the sake of giving" and giving because it makes you feel good are *selfish* acts!

As an example appropriate to the season, I buy Christmas gifts for two reasons: because I like to make my friends/family happy, or because I feel obligated (family member, someone I wouldn't normally buy for but I know they bought me something, etc.). So basically I'm either giving them to people in order to make ME feel good by making them happy, or to avoid feeling bad about failing to meet an obligation.

wilbjammin

Obligations come in all shapes and sizes. I love some of my obligations and hate some of them. I would feel bad if I didn't do any one of them, but that doesn't mean that I do them simply to avoid guilt. Such as obligating time to a girlfriend, or something along those lines - it doesn't seem so bad, it can be quite nice actually. I'd feel guilty if I didn't follow through and that I missed a good opportunity to do something that I wanted to do. In any event, I wouldn't call myself an expert on the idea of duty... it just seems to me that if you do something only because you have to or feel like you're supposed to, then it doesn't sound charitable to me.

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2manetoys

to consider all of your options, you could also Call to see how your friend is doing which would save you the discomfort of visiting the hospital while still showing that you care enough to check up on them.

I recently went thourgh the same predicament and wound up visiting the hospital as well.

For what it's worth.

papermachesatan

Ask yourself what you feel the primary motivation is: Do you to help your friend or do you want to avoid trouble? Pick one and leave it at that.

The motivations behind all actions can be reduced to selfish ones if you try hard enough; it's unreasonable to do so though.

EDIT: comprehensibility issues