Simple question for the parents of the TFP... - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

Scrub0 · 08-02-2003, 10:15 PM

Would you care if your teenage son/daughter was looking at porno?

I'm not a parent, but I'm sure that I wouldn't, unless he/she wasn't very mature and couldn't differentiate between porno and real life. (airbrushing, extremely slutty women who fuck the cable guy after knowing him for a minute, etc) I got busted with porno 2 different times with I was 15, and my parents didn't make a big deal out of it.

Konichiwaneko · 08-03-2003, 12:25 AM

my parents were lax about it. Why bust a kid for something he will participate in in a few years.

I think parents who try to protect their kids risk making their kids naive. Most people are logical enough to realize that "not everyone" does mutliple partners at once and stare at the camera man with a smile while getting it in the ass.

Let the kids have fun, their lives are as stressful as it is. If they don't have respect now, they will learn it soon enough.

raeanna74 · 08-03-2003, 09:41 AM

Personally I think it depends on the age and maturity of the child. I wouldn't get all upset unless I had specifically given him instruction not to view it because I felt he wasn't mature enough yet. Also I would be more strict with it if I had a younger child girl or boy who lived in my home. I know how kids are - the sneak into brother or sisters room often. I wouldn't want them stumbling on it. Also I would want it clear that the porn was very different from real life.
Having said all that - I don't think most kids are mature enough to recognise the difference until they are at least 16 but more often closer to 18. When they are 18 they can do anything they want (within reason) without complaint from me if they are living on their own.
I have a daughter who is 3 - not even close to dealing with teen age in my home yet. I have taught highschool though so know some of the teen quirks.
This is just my take on it.

CAN_skate · 08-05-2003, 07:30 PM

What's so wrong with lovin'?

Looften · 08-05-2003, 11:38 PM

I think it's fairly rare for this day in age for parent's to truely be angry. In fact, I consider it almost a rite of passage for every young man.

That being said, if the kid is younger or immature for his age, the parent should probably take caution to ensure that the kid accepts it just as porn, and does not confuse it with reality.

absorbentishe · 08-08-2003, 05:40 AM

My oldest is 10, and we've already had the "talk". When he gets older, I know he will find pix and stuff, and I'm not concerned, but my wife will probably hit the roof. It's normal for children to want to look, as long as it is in private. Myself, I saw my first boobies when I was in 4th grade, Animal House, and I was never the same!! So I can only imagine when he sees his first pair, or more!

Fallon · 08-08-2003, 06:03 AM

When I eventually have kids and teach them about sex, I hope that I'll be wise enough to say, porno movies look cool and everything, but that's not the way sex happens, at least not for most people.

skysooner · 08-08-2003, 08:35 AM

We have talked about it from day one with our two kids. My wife was basically brainwashed at an early age about sex and how it was bad. It took her years to develop a healthy attitude about it. While we don't go into specific details and we will not watch over the top movies when he is in the room, we do discuss it with him. Our oldest calls sex "naked exercise" since that is kind of how he sees it happening when we did a basic description for him.

RoadRage · 08-09-2003, 11:51 PM

I think I'd be more worried if they hadn't seen at least some porn.

My wife and I both grew up very naive on such matters, and we don't our children to suffer in ignorance like we did.

sexymama · 08-13-2003, 07:12 AM

As an "older" member of tfp, I have raised 3 teenage boys already. The key for me was to talk about the difference between porn and reality. I wanted their first time to be special and well thought out -- not just an easy "lay." 2 of the 3 managed to pull that off! They all seem to have a healthy attitude about sex and human sexuality in general. They like "real" woman and are not into the "porn star/twiggy with big breast" look. Most importantly, they do not view woman as "sex objects" and we are able to talk openly about their sexual experiences. I enjoy how close we are as a result of our openness. (They even enjoy hearing that I have a good sex life with my new bf -- no freaking out that "mom does it."

)

lafemmefatale · 08-13-2003, 10:20 AM

if i may offer an opinion as a younger member...

As my computer is in the privacy of my own room, it makes it really easy to look at porn without a worry, but teh truth of the matter is no matter what, if the kid wanted porn, they'll find a way to o look no matter what. I dont exactly share what i look at with my parents so they have no clue but it doesn't mean i dont respect them, nor does it mean i'll get a twisted view on reality.

If i were a parent, like absorbentishe, i'd just have a talk. If anything porn has me less inhibited about how i view sex, has me more open towards the healthier practices of it, and that's nothing but good.

Finally, if i may ask, will you be equally disturbed to find your child looking at somehting very violent? I find that if i go to a movie w/my parents and there's sex, my mom wouldnt want me to see...but if it's violence, everything goes

Flippy · 08-13-2003, 10:48 PM

Yes, I agree, there seems to be this negative stigma attached to sex, even moreso than violence. I see my brother's friends (12-13 yrs old), who are allowed to play M-rated video games (who can blame them, they're fun

), while being forbidden to watch movies because of mild sexual content.

This being said however, I don't believe a child should be exposed to pornography until they are around 12-14 years of age, depending on their maturity level. Kids younger than that often don't know how to seperate when they see in the media from reality. I'd probably also stress that a lot of the more hardcore stuff, such as the Double Anal Fisting movies promised in several recent spam emails I've received, is verboten. Consensual sex is fine, as is nudity.

Well, those are my thoughts.

crayzeeredhead · 08-19-2003, 01:01 PM

ok what is wrong with all of you!! I mean I respect ya'll's opinions ets but damn! Is there not enuf morality issues with society today that we have totally lost family values!! I have two kids and 3 soo to be step children, it is bad enough that my eight year old not only know what sex is but wants a boyfriend and then we as parent worry about the whole teenage pregnancy thing and you people are condoning a CHILD, that's right a CHILD, perrousing through prono pics etc. Yes I agree that it will happen eventually but if we as parents instill responsibility whern it comes to sex in are children we would not have to worry about teen pregnancy etc. I pesonally have a great problem with the morals and value of society today!
If it is okay for a ten year olsd to veiw porn to all of you then why is child pornography such a hard thing to take?
It honestly is the same thing because if I allowed my children to see those things I would be saying I thought it was alright for them to have sexx at that age and personaaly I DONT CONDONE IT !!!

jbrooks544 · 08-22-2003, 08:46 AM

Q: What was better when you were a kid than porno?

A: NOTHING! It was GREAT!

I couldn't be a hypocrit and try to be a porno nazi with my kids. Sure, no weird stuff and not until they are 14, 15 at least, but what can you really do to control it anyway with the internet? I'm not going to let me get my panties in a wad about it. I'm not going to "GIVE" porn to my kids, but I'm not going to go crazy trying to prevent it b/c that isn't possible these days.

jimk · 08-22-2003, 08:57 AM

good topic for me to read.......i've got two young boys, so i'll be encountering this in about a decade. i wonder what the new thing to freak us parents out will be in 10 years?!?

anyway, i think it sounds like a great idea to just give them the reality vs. porno talk. kind of analogous to how i now have to explain to my 3 yr old that he's probably not going to learn to shoot webs out of his hands or turn big & green when angry.

Dano069 · 09-03-2003, 07:27 AM

My wife stresses about it, but I don't think it's that big of a deal. I viewed/read a lot of Porn growing up and I'm not twisted or sick. Wait, yes I am, scratch that. NO Porn for them.

All kidding aside, I think if they are caught, sitting down and explaining the difference between fantasy and reality is very important. I joke around with my boys about sexual stuff (they're 17 & 14) but it's very important they learn that difference between fantasy and reality.

08-02-2003, 10:15 PM	#1 (permalink)
Scrub0 Insane	Simple question for the parents of the TFP... Would you care if your teenage son/daughter was looking at porno? I'm not a parent, but I'm sure that I wouldn't, unless he/she wasn't very mature and couldn't differentiate between porno and real life. (airbrushing, extremely slutty women who fuck the cable guy after knowing him for a minute, etc) I got busted with porno 2 different times with I was 15, and my parents didn't make a big deal out of it.

08-03-2003, 12:25 AM	#2 (permalink)
Konichiwaneko The Dreaded Pixel Nazi Location: Inside my camera	my parents were lax about it. Why bust a kid for something he will participate in in a few years. I think parents who try to protect their kids risk making their kids naive. Most people are logical enough to realize that "not everyone" does mutliple partners at once and stare at the camera man with a smile while getting it in the ass. Let the kids have fun, their lives are as stressful as it is. If they don't have respect now, they will learn it soon enough. __________________ Hesitate. Pull me in. Breath on breath. Skin on skin. Loving deep. Falling fast. All right here. Let this last. Here with our lips locked tight. Baby the time is right for us... to forget about us.

08-03-2003, 09:41 AM	#3 (permalink)
raeanna74 I'm not a blonde! I'm knot! I'm knot! I'm knot! Location: Upper Michigan	Personally I think it depends on the age and maturity of the child. I wouldn't get all upset unless I had specifically given him instruction not to view it because I felt he wasn't mature enough yet. Also I would be more strict with it if I had a younger child girl or boy who lived in my home. I know how kids are - the sneak into brother or sisters room often. I wouldn't want them stumbling on it. Also I would want it clear that the porn was very different from real life. Having said all that - I don't think most kids are mature enough to recognise the difference until they are at least 16 but more often closer to 18. When they are 18 they can do anything they want (within reason) without complaint from me if they are living on their own. I have a daughter who is 3 - not even close to dealing with teen age in my home yet. I have taught highschool though so know some of the teen quirks. This is just my take on it. __________________ "Always learn the rules so that you can break them properly." Dalai Lama My Karma just ran over your Dogma.

08-09-2003, 11:51 PM	#9 (permalink)
RoadRage Stay off the sidewalk! Location: Oklahoma City, OK	I think I'd be more worried if they hadn't seen at least some porn. My wife and I both grew up very naive on such matters, and we don't our children to suffer in ignorance like we did. __________________ Join TFP Team SETI 43K workunits complete, 34 members, more of each needed.

08-13-2003, 07:12 AM	#10 (permalink)
sexymama My own person -- his by choice Location: Lebell's arms	As an "older" member of tfp, I have raised 3 teenage boys already. The key for me was to talk about the difference between porn and reality. I wanted their first time to be special and well thought out -- not just an easy "lay." 2 of the 3 managed to pull that off! They all seem to have a healthy attitude about sex and human sexuality in general. They like "real" woman and are not into the "porn star/twiggy with big breast" look. Most importantly, they do not view woman as "sex objects" and we are able to talk openly about their sexual experiences. I enjoy how close we are as a result of our openness. (They even enjoy hearing that I have a good sex life with my new bf -- no freaking out that "mom does it.") __________________ If you can go deeply into lovemaking, the ego disappears. That is the beauty of lovemaking, that it is another source of a glimpse of god It's not about being perfect; it's about developing some skill at managing imperfection.

08-05-2003, 07:30 PM	#4 (permalink)
CAN_skate Banned Location: Totally out there.	What's so wrong with lovin'?

08-05-2003, 11:38 PM	#5 (permalink)
Looften Crazy	I think it's fairly rare for this day in age for parent's to truely be angry. In fact, I consider it almost a rite of passage for every young man. That being said, if the kid is younger or immature for his age, the parent should probably take caution to ensure that the kid accepts it just as porn, and does not confuse it with reality.

08-08-2003, 05:40 AM	#6 (permalink)
absorbentishe Boy am I horny today Location: T O L E D O, Toledo!!	My oldest is 10, and we've already had the "talk". When he gets older, I know he will find pix and stuff, and I'm not concerned, but my wife will probably hit the roof. It's normal for children to want to look, as long as it is in private. Myself, I saw my first boobies when I was in 4th grade, Animal House, and I was never the same!! So I can only imagine when he sees his first pair, or more!

08-08-2003, 06:03 AM	#7 (permalink)
Fallon Junkie Location: RI	When I eventually have kids and teach them about sex, I hope that I'll be wise enough to say, porno movies look cool and everything, but that's not the way sex happens, at least not for most people.

08-08-2003, 08:35 AM	#8 (permalink)
skysooner Registered User Location: Oklahoma	We have talked about it from day one with our two kids. My wife was basically brainwashed at an early age about sex and how it was bad. It took her years to develop a healthy attitude about it. While we don't go into specific details and we will not watch over the top movies when he is in the room, we do discuss it with him. Our oldest calls sex "naked exercise" since that is kind of how he sees it happening when we did a basic description for him.

08-13-2003, 10:20 AM	#11 (permalink)
lafemmefatale Insane Location: Vancouver	if i may offer an opinion as a younger member... As my computer is in the privacy of my own room, it makes it really easy to look at porn without a worry, but teh truth of the matter is no matter what, if the kid wanted porn, they'll find a way to o look no matter what. I dont exactly share what i look at with my parents so they have no clue but it doesn't mean i dont respect them, nor does it mean i'll get a twisted view on reality. If i were a parent, like absorbentishe, i'd just have a talk. If anything porn has me less inhibited about how i view sex, has me more open towards the healthier practices of it, and that's nothing but good. Finally, if i may ask, will you be equally disturbed to find your child looking at somehting very violent? I find that if i go to a movie w/my parents and there's sex, my mom wouldnt want me to see...but if it's violence, everything goes __________________ -poor is the man whose pleasure depends on the permission of another-

08-13-2003, 10:48 PM	#12 (permalink)
Flippy Banned Location: Greater Vancouver	Yes, I agree, there seems to be this negative stigma attached to sex, even moreso than violence. I see my brother's friends (12-13 yrs old), who are allowed to play M-rated video games (who can blame them, they're fun ), while being forbidden to watch movies because of mild sexual content. This being said however, I don't believe a child should be exposed to pornography until they are around 12-14 years of age, depending on their maturity level. Kids younger than that often don't know how to seperate when they see in the media from reality. I'd probably also stress that a lot of the more hardcore stuff, such as the Double Anal Fisting movies promised in several recent spam emails I've received, is verboten. Consensual sex is fine, as is nudity. Well, those are my thoughts.

08-19-2003, 01:01 PM	#13 (permalink)
crayzeeredhead Tilted Location: here& there but here today	ok what is wrong with all of you!! I mean I respect ya'll's opinions ets but damn! Is there not enuf morality issues with society today that we have totally lost family values!! I have two kids and 3 soo to be step children, it is bad enough that my eight year old not only know what sex is but wants a boyfriend and then we as parent worry about the whole teenage pregnancy thing and you people are condoning a CHILD, that's right a CHILD, perrousing through prono pics etc. Yes I agree that it will happen eventually but if we as parents instill responsibility whern it comes to sex in are children we would not have to worry about teen pregnancy etc. I pesonally have a great problem with the morals and value of society today! If it is okay for a ten year olsd to veiw porn to all of you then why is child pornography such a hard thing to take? It honestly is the same thing because if I allowed my children to see those things I would be saying I thought it was alright for them to have sexx at that age and personaaly I DONT CONDONE IT !!! __________________ For everything there is a neverending cycle- birth, death, rebirth. Evil can and will not exist without good and visa versa. You also reap what you sew. There is a sliver of truth in every saying -those are a few!!

08-22-2003, 08:46 AM	#14 (permalink)
jbrooks544 Addict	Q: What was better when you were a kid than porno? A: NOTHING! It was GREAT! I couldn't be a hypocrit and try to be a porno nazi with my kids. Sure, no weird stuff and not until they are 14, 15 at least, but what can you really do to control it anyway with the internet? I'm not going to let me get my panties in a wad about it. I'm not going to "GIVE" porn to my kids, but I'm not going to go crazy trying to prevent it b/c that isn't possible these days.

08-22-2003, 08:57 AM	#15 (permalink)
jimk Addict Location: Chicago	good topic for me to read.......i've got two young boys, so i'll be encountering this in about a decade. i wonder what the new thing to freak us parents out will be in 10 years?!? anyway, i think it sounds like a great idea to just give them the reality vs. porno talk. kind of analogous to how i now have to explain to my 3 yr old that he's probably not going to learn to shoot webs out of his hands or turn big & green when angry. __________________ raw power is a guaranteed o.d. raw power is a laughin' at you & me -iggy

09-03-2003, 07:27 AM	#16 (permalink)
Dano069 is Nucking Futs! Location: On the edge of sanity	My wife stresses about it, but I don't think it's that big of a deal. I viewed/read a lot of Porn growing up and I'm not twisted or sick. Wait, yes I am, scratch that. NO Porn for them. All kidding aside, I think if they are caught, sitting down and explaining the difference between fantasy and reality is very important. I joke around with my boys about sexual stuff (they're 17 & 14) but it's very important they learn that difference between fantasy and reality. __________________ I may look attentive, but I'm taking peeks down your blouse faster than the human eye can follow.