H2G2 Philosophy Thread

[h2g2Fan]

"Anything that happens, happens.
Anything that, in happening, causes something else to happen, causes something else to happen.
Anything that, in happening, causes itself to happen again, happens again.
It doesn't necessarily do it in chronological order, though."
- Mostly Harmless, by Douglas Adams

[Agent Anderson]

His philosophy was a mixture of three famous schools -- the Cynics, the Stoics and the Epicureans -- and summed up all three of them in his famous phrase, "You can't trust any bugger further than you can throw him, and there's nothing you can do about it, so let's have a drink."
-- (Terry Pratchett, Small Gods)

"Slave is an Ephebian word. In Om we have no word for slave," said Vorbis. "So I understand," said the Tyrant. "I imagine that fish have no word for water."
-- (Terry Pratchett, Small Gods)

"He's muffed it," said Simony. "he could have done anything with them. And he just told them the facts. You can't inspire people with facts. They need a cause. They need a symbol."
-- (Terry Pratchett, Small Gods)

Brutha tried to nod, and thought: I'm on everyone's side. It'd be nice if, just for once, someone was on mine.
-- (Terry Pratchett, Small Gods)

"Now we've got a truth to die for!" "No. Men should die for lies. But the truth is too precious to die for."
-- (Terry Pratchett, Small Gods)

"I used to think that I was stupid, and then I met philosophers."
-- (Terry Pratchett, Small Gods)

"That's why it's always worth having a few philosophers around the place. One minute it's all Is Truth Beauty and Is Beauty Truth, and Does A Falling Tree in the Forest Make A Sound if There's No one There to Hear It, and then just when you think they're going to start dribbling one of 'em says, Incidentally, putting a thirty-foot parabolic reflector on a high place to shoot the rays of the sun at an enemy's ships would be a very interesting demonstration of optical principles."
-- (Terry Pratchett, Small Gods)

[h2g2Fan]

"This planet has - or rather had - a problem, which was this: most of the people on it were unhappy for pretty much of the time. Many solutions were suggested for this problem, but most of these were largely concerned with the movements of small green pieces of paper, which is odd because on the whole it wasn't the small green pieces of paper that were unhappy."
- The Hitch-Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy, by Douglas Adams

[John Henry]

"Far out in the uncharted backwaters of the unfashionable end of the western spiral arm of the Galaxy lies a small unregarded yellow sun. "



"What was the self-sacrifice? "
"I jettisoned half of a much loved and I think irreplaceable pair of shoes. "
"Why was that self-sacrifice? "
"Because they were mine! " said Ford crossly.
"I think we have different value systems. "
"Well mine's better. "
"That's according to your... oh never mind. "



"`... then I decided that I was a lemon for a couple of
weeks. I kept myself amused all that time jumping in and
out of a gin and tonic.'
Arthur cleared his throat, and then did it again.
`Where,' he said, `did you...?'
`Find a gin and tonic?' said Ford brightly. `I found a
small lake that thought it was a gin and tonic, and jumped
in and out of that. At least, I think it thought it was a
gin and tonic.'
`I may,' he addded with a grin which would have sent sane
men scampering into the trees, `have been imagining it.'"

-- Ford updating Arthur about what he's been doing for the
past four years.



"Humans think they are smarter than dolphins because we build cars and buildings and start wars etc...and all that dolphins do is swim in the water, eat fish and play around. Dolphins believe that they are smarter for exactly the same reasons."



He picked up the letter Q and hurled it into a distant privet bush where it hit a young rabbit. The rabbit hurtled off in terror and didn't stop till it was set upon and eaten by a fox which choked on one of its bones and died on the bank of a stream which subsequently washed it away.

During the following weeks Ford Prefect swallowed his pride and struck up a relationship with a girl who had been a personnel officer on Golgafrincham, and he was terribly upset when she suddenly passed away as a result of drinking water from a pool that had been polluted by the body of a dead fox. The only moral it is possible to draw from this story is that one should never throw the letter Q into a privet bush.

--The Restaurant at the End of the Universe

[Ella]

Human beings, who are almost unique in having the ability to learn from the experience of others, are also remarkable for their apparent disinclination to do so.
Douglas Adams, "Last Chance to See"

It is no coincidence that in no known language does the phrase 'As pretty as an Airport' appear.
Douglas Adams

He hoped and prayed that there wasn't an afterlife. Then he realized there was a contradiction involved here and merely hoped that there wasn't an afterlife.
Douglas Adams

In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move.
Douglas Adams

You live and learn. At any rate, you live.
Douglas Adams

[The5thCandidate]

"Time is an illusion. Lunchtime doubly so."

[Yakk]

A man didn’t understand how televisions work, and was convinced that there must be lots of little men inside the box. manipulating images at high speed. An engineer explained to him about high frequency modulations of the electromagnetic spectrum, about transmitters and receivers, about amplifiers and cathode ray tubes, about scan lines moving across and down a phosphorescent screen. The man listened to the engineer with careful attention, nodding his head at every step of the argument. At the end he pronounced himself satisfied. He really did now understand how televisions work. "But I expect there are just a few little men in there, aren’t there?"
-- Douglas Adams, a parable spoofing creationism that Adams often told, as retold by Richard Dawkins in "Lament for Douglas" (14 May 2001)

Anyone who is capable of getting themselves made President should on no account be allowed to do the job.
-- Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

Isn't it enough to see that a garden is beautiful without having to believe that there are fairies at the bottom of it too?
-- Douglas Adams, from Last Chance To See

It is a mistake to think you can solve any major problems just with potatoes.
-- Douglas Adams

"To illustrate the vain conceit that the universe must be somehow pre-ordained for us, because we are so well-suited to live in it, he [Adams] mimed a wonderfully funny imitation of a puddle of water, fitting itself snugly into a depression in the ground, the depression uncannily being exactly the same shape as the puddle."
-- Richard Dawkins, in "Lament for Douglas" (14 May 2001)

Flying's easy. Just throw yourself at the ground and miss.
-- Douglas Adams

[Raw Kuts]

God: "I refuse to prove that I exist, because proof denies faith, and without faith I am nothing."

Man: "Ah, but the Babel fish is so incredibly useful that it absolutely proves you exist. Thereby, according to your own argument, you don't."

God: "Oops, I hadn't thought of that."

Whereupon God disappears in a puff of logic. Man goes on to prove that up is down, black is white, and promptly gets himself killed at the next traffic crossing.

Oolon Colluphid published the argument in his final, seminal work "Well, That About Wraps It Up For God."

[CSflim]

Originally posted by Yakk
Isn't it enough to see that a garden is beautiful without having to believe that there are fairies at the bottom of it too?
-- Douglas Adams, from Last Chance To See

That is beautiful, and is exactly how I feel about the world. Wonderful.