Derwood

I think taking away the TV/Video Games/Whatever can be successful if you stick to your original punishment. If you say "No TV for a week" but then let them start watching again 2 days later, you just taught them that a week=2 days. Sticking by your guns is hard, but you can't let them be the boss

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"You can't shoot a country until it becomes a democracy." - Willravel

Raevynn

Due in part to the fact that I'm at work, I haven't had a chance to thoroughly read all of the responses on this thread, but I will say this:

Mixed, I am going through very similar experiences with my 1st grade son. I saw your post and thought someone had taken the thoughts right out of my head.

First grade is a huge adjustment for any child. I've been through several conferences with school staff, and I've talked to my sister (a k-2 teacher) at length. From what I've experienced these last four months, the best possible thing you can do is give your child the respect and opportunity to communicate. Get down on his level, talk about it, and make sure he understands that you and the school staff talk about what's going on. Ensure him that you want him to be successful, and that he can talk to you about whatever's going on, good or bad, right or wrong.

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Six degrees of separation: the hypothesis that anyone on Earth can be connected to any other person on the planet through a chain of acquaintances with no more than five intermediaries

Jolly Johnny

Look, in all honesty, your kid is six years old, what were you expecting?

Think about it, didn't you do the same when you were six? I know I did, and to be honest, almost everyone of my school did. Boys will be boys, except those who do nothing, no kid wants to be friends with those ones. If you are worried about his future, from my example and the ones with whom I've kept contact with, no one turned a criminal, no drugs, no drunkards, just regular hard working people. (Actually, much more hard working than those friendless I've said above.)

Just take it naturally, because it is natural. Don't take hard punishments on him, just make him see that whatever he trashes, he has to repair, that he is the one to hold responsible for his actions. In your case, the best would be making him repair the bathroom. Of course that takes time, but it works, and you are raising a sane and responsible person. Not some bitter kid like those we are used to see on tv with all that "Ohh I'm so depressed" crap.

I have a sister that is exactly the same age, and that has worked damn fine.

Hope this have helped a bit.

Kudos to you, really. It is not healthy at all as you say, children are supposed to run, laugh, interact with other children, learn the basics of human interaction and body development. As Hippocrates said, "that which is used develops, and that which is not used wastes away".

Of course if you live in a big city it might be kind of dangerous to let your children outside...

Deltona Couple

Bravo! I also agree that as long as a child is in my home, and under my custody, I have the right as said parent to remove any and all rights above basic needs as needed to help he teach the child how to properly function in society. If I feel like taking their keys and license away would help them learn a lesson, then I have that right. As parents we are required to provide our children with food, shelter, guidance, and love. If I so choose, I can deny my child from even GETTING a license until the age of 18, therefore if they are in my home, I can take away said license. Heck, here in Florida, if a student has failing grades, the school can, at their discretion, notify the state, and the state can and WILL suspend a students license until the grades improve.
I hate seeing so many people coddle the children of today. I am ALWAYS hearing people complain about how children are growing up these days, yet the same people also want to say, you can't spank your child, or you can't take away this or that from them, because it is cruel. I SWEAR I sometimes want to hit THEM and say WAKE UP! I raise my children just the same way I was, with them knowing that there are consequences for EVERY action that is made, be it good or bad consequenses. Do good in school? then say to them "You did as EXPECTED, and for that, we will go to the beach this weekend" I ALWAYS expect good grades from my children, but I also know that there is a realistic standpoint. Each of my kids know that when I see their report card, the first thing I ask them if it isn't all 'A' grades? Did you HONESTLY try your best? If they can tell me they did, then I don't care about the grade, I ask them what can I do to help them.


Now back to the OP, As pretty much every parent on this board will agree, raising a child is a 24/7 job. And not every child will respond to the same methods. Heck, my two daughters are a perfect example. I raised them both the same way, and my 15 year old is a model child, good grades, helps out in school and volunteers her own time at the local church and charity events, while the 12 year old has been acting up and doing terribly in school, to the point of having tutors and a child counselor.

The biggest thing I have learned over the years is this: WHATEVER the child is doing, there is a direct corelation to SOMETHING they have seen or had happen. They don't act out for the heck of it. What you need to do is find the ROOT cause of their behavior, and it might take some time. Yes, punishment is needed as a direct interation to let the child know that lying and damaging school property is NOT acceptable bahavior, but too many parents just punish their child, and then go on like it's all over. You need to find out WHY the child did this, and address that as well. I don't know your parenting, or the way you do things yourself, but children soak up things like a SPONGE! You may notrealize it, but they see and hear EVERYTHING....lol. A perfect example, similar to your situation: My oldest daughter when she was in i believe 3rd grade, was always lying. She lied to us, the teachers, other family members. We continued to punish her, and she STILL did it. I finally sat down with her and asked "Why are you always lying?" and she looked me dead in the face and said to me "You lie to MeMaw all the time!" I was shocked and asked her when? She told me that every time my mom wanted us to visit, I always lied to her and said we were too busy, or something had come up. I NEVER thought that she would have known this, much less realized that she was there when I was talking to my mom on the phone. So make sure also that the child isn't getting some poor influence from somewhere else.....
Just my $.02 worth....Gotta get back to work

(OH and Will, PLEASE forgive my grammer...lol. I wrote this in a hurry...)

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"It is not that I have failed, but that I have found 10,000 ways that it DOESN'T work!" --Thomas Edison

shakran

When my kid was six I expected him to behave. If he didn't, he got punished. That eventually taught him that behaving was the best course of action.

Yes, and my parents punished me and I soon figured out not to do those sorts of things.

Bullshit. This is the line used by parents who are too lazy to correct their children's behavior.

I don't know what kind of school you have your kids in but when I was 6 you didn't have to be a little hooligan to be liked.

Hey great, you and 20 people you know, out of 300 MILLION people in the country, haven't killed anyone yet. That doesn't mean you should just let things go.



And undesirable by society. Teach the kids young to behave. Just because the kid doesn't grow up to be a criminal doesn't mean he hasn't grown up to be an asshole.

That's just silly. A 6 year old doesn't even have the motor skills to do handyman work. Since this was a school bathroom, 1) the janitor's already cleaned it up and 2) the school wouldn't LET him repair the bathroom for liability reasons.

mixedmedia

I beg your permission to put this into my signature for a while.

I'd like to savor it a bit longer...yummy!

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Most people go through life dreading they'll have a traumatic experience. Freaks were born with their trauma. They've already passed their test in life. They're aristocrats. - Diane Arbus
PESSIMISM, n. A philosophy forced upon the convictions of the observer by the disheartening prevalence of the optimist with his scarecrow hope and his unsightly smile. - Ambrose Bierce

shakran

hehe. Feel free