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Old 07-08-2006, 05:24 AM   #1 (permalink)
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Allowance

I have been debating giving my son an allowance. He is getting to the age where he is starting to want things, and I would like to start teaching him responsibility about money...but I'm not sure an 4 year old will understand it. He understands the concept of money...that you need it to buy things...and he understands what coins are and what paper money is.

I received a small allowance as a child, starting at age 7 (my sister started receiving one at the same time, she was 5). I remember being conservative with my money and often saving for things I wanted, but I was quite a bit older than my son is right now.

Right now, hubby and I usually just put our spare change in his piggy bank and change it for bills when it gets full. Right now he has about $50 in it, which is to be his spending money when we go to Disneyland. Since we don't use cash that often, I'm just thinking about putting a dollar a week in his bank, and using the change jar for something else, perhaps as extra Christmas money or extra money for future trips.

What do you guys think? Is 4 too young for allowance? I'm still just debating this, I haven't made my mind up yet.
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Old 07-08-2006, 08:03 AM   #2 (permalink)
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One thing my dad that kind of kept the amount of money we got relative to what we needed was set it as our age, but there was a catch: half the money had to go into savings, and we were taught how to use the bank and had savings accounts from an early age.

Now, to get our allowance, we had to show Dad that we had completed our chores for the week, were being good kids, and were doing well in school.

I don't think 4 is too young for a small allowance, especially if you drill home the responsibility issue time and time again and make them earn it a little, since 4 is about the age when kids can start helping with the chores.
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Old 07-08-2006, 08:48 AM   #3 (permalink)
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Age 4 doesn't seem to young for an allowance. We have given our daughter money for quite a while. I cannot recall what the age was when we began. Once she was able to do small things around the house beyond picking up her toys I've given her a coin or two as a reward. She's learned that when she goes above and beyond a clean room and picking up her things she'll earn a little. At this point she's only 5 so she doesn't have many regular chores. When she does get more chores than she'll get more money for doing extra. Nothing wrong with teaching them the value of money and how to handle it responsibly. The younger the start the better.
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Old 07-08-2006, 06:24 PM   #4 (permalink)
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I give my daughter 30 bucks a weeks, no just kidden I give her 2 bucks a week. I do assign some chores a long with that, not a lot just clean the room and put away her and her sister's laundry.

I added a extra kicker in there for her. Any thing that she wants, cept clothing and nick nacks, I will pay half. So if she wants one of those hideous Bratzs dolls she need to fork up six or eight bucks and I'll flip the other half.

I think this is a good system, cause she must save money if she wants the things that she wants, rather than blowing it on candy bars or some other stuff at five and below. Same time good for me cause half the time I dont have to fork the money for a bunch of crap that she don't need anyways.

I started her on this at age 6 and she is now 9, so seven is not too young, but four is, really what vaule does a four year old see in money. But what the hell do I know, they say that you can never start them too young, maybe this is one of those times.
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Old 07-08-2006, 07:33 PM   #5 (permalink)
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This is long. I appologize.

To understand my standpoint on allowance, I will tell you my experience with it. This is from my perspective, as a kid. At the end, I give you my advice.

When I was 4, I had an allowance. 10 cents/week. Needless to say, it wasn't useful. I learned no lessons with the 10c. I would save up for a year, then blow it on bubble gum.

When I was 10, it moved up to 50cents/week. I would save for a year, then purchase a figurine. It was a big deal to me, and I worked hard for that figurine.

Then, age 12, it was $1.00 where it remained until I was old enough to hold regular babysitting clients. Then the allowance stopped.

By the time I was 16, I had saved up enough between my pittance of an allowance, babysitting, and mowing the neighbors' lawns to purchase a CD boom box. That was $115.00. It required 3 years of INTENSE saving. During this time I never once had a weekend to go out with friends. I was babysitting, doing yard work, or studying. Constantly. That stereo seemed like an incredible sacrifice at the time. It was, but I purchased quality. I still love and use it.

I recieved the money only when I hadn't been diciplined at all through the week. My sister often received nothing, which was a sore point of contention for many years. My parents didn't understand her hyperactivity, and punished her for poor grades, speaking out, or being creative.

Basically, what my parents' policy taught me was that in order to get anything of any quality, one had to save and give up anything that a normal teenager would do. I did not know how deeply this would taint my thought processes.

I never learned to relax.
I never learned to socialize with friends.
I learned an incredibly strict work ethic.
I learned to be frugal to the point of social embarassment.
I learned how to kill myself slowly and strive for something that was completely rediculous - spent 3 years of my life for a goal, which I could have bought in a matter of a month, had my parents allowed me to hold a standard minimum-wage part-time job.

Lessons:
Have a clear purpose for an allowance. Discuss it freely with your children, in terms they are able to understand.
Request your children to use some of their allowance for entertainment (toys, video games, what not). Teach them life-balance.
If you choose to offer an allowance, please do make it a reasonable sum.
Putting money into their college savings account - rather than in their pocket - might be a fine idea until they are at an age where they understand finances better. Age 12 is not too early an age to introduce your child to managing their own savings accounts. Age 4 is. At this point they can understand that money is used to purchase both fun and every-day things. But I do not belive that they are cognitively able to process saving.

I recommend holding off on an allowance for now. I recommend having a clear purpose for allowance. Look back at the methods that both of you parents experinced while growing up. Hash out a genuine plan, based on the high points and the pitfalls of your parents' own systems.

Good luck!
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Old 07-16-2006, 03:59 PM   #6 (permalink)
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Thanks for your insights, everyone, and sorry about the response delay, but I've been on vacation. Hubby and I have decided to start giving him a dollar a week. He has to clean his room and pick up his toys when asked to get it.

genuinegirly...that sounds terrible. I don't hold that view of an allowance...I guess my view is to let him know that things cost money, and that he may have to save for it. He may be a little young right now to fully comprehend that, but I think he is starting to get it a little.

Again, thanks for your input!
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Old 07-16-2006, 06:59 PM   #7 (permalink)
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I started my kids in kindergarten, $1 a week and I charged them 25c tax-that went into a jar that was then cashed in and used for souveniers on vacation.
For each grade, they got corresponding allowance, ie; 3rd grade, $3, 4th, $4, etc.
Unfortunately, times being what they are, that ended midway thru 6th grade, but by then they knew how to take care of their money and think out what it is they want when they have it.
The spouse didn't like that I did this, but seeing how they respect what it takes to save for what they want and make decisions if what they want is worth it, he acquiesced a bit. I will say my daughter is more spontaneous with money-my son thinks it all through.
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Old 07-16-2006, 10:26 PM   #8 (permalink)
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Money is a pretty foreign concept to children that young. Kids don't start learning to count money until grade 2 (well at least in Canada anyway). He may be excited by the idea but not really understand it.
An alternative would be to say that if he picks up all his toys for one week (or any other good deed), then he can have a new toy. You could even make a little chart and give him a star and each time he does the good deed and when he gets enough he is rewarded. This might be more rewarding for him because he realizes he has to work for things but you are using a concept that he understands.
This idea really works with a lot of my students!
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Old 07-16-2006, 10:38 PM   #9 (permalink)
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I must say genuinegirly's lesson was pretty harsh. I definitely think that if a kid really wants something, they should be allowed to work for it. Allowance should not be viewed as income. It should only be used to encourage good behavior at things that your kids would otherwise not be paid for. So if they come to want something badly enough, there's nothing wrong with kids getting a job early on. But then again, you're only young once, and shouldn't spend all your free time working for a pittance so you can buy a damn boom box. So a parent should teach their kids how to make decisions like that, if they can.

Disclaimer: I am not a parent. One day perhaps, but not today.

I had an allowance when I was young, but as soon as I was old enough to be responsible and a good worker, my parents had me work for their friends doing farm work. And when it was reasonable, they also paid me a fair sum for doing work for them... i.e. for work outside what you'd normally expect from kids who live with their parents. But they never allowed work to get in the way of school or fun. At least not to any extreme level.

So yeah, balance is good. Hope things work out for your kid, Medusa.
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Old 07-17-2006, 06:15 AM   #10 (permalink)
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Four years of age is too young for an allowance; or pocket-money as we used to call it back in Ireland when I was young. You would not allow them alone into a shop to spend it, so why what use is it to them? Having said that, you could give them an allowance, beginning at this early age, but simply create a savings account for them so they will have a little nest-egg for later.

Anyway, my main point relates to a TV documentary I saw several years ago. To cut a long story short, it was a biography of John D Rockefeller. When he was growing up, his parents gave him an allowance, but made him save a third, give a third to charity and left him a third in ready cash to spend. This has always stayed with me and I think it's a marvelous idea; one that I intend to follow with my own kids.

Four is too young to give them money. Set it aside for them in a savings account.



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Old 07-17-2006, 06:52 PM   #11 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ngdawg
I started my kids in kindergarten, $1 a week and I charged them 25c tax-that went into a jar that was then cashed in and used for souveniers on vacation.
that's freakin' great.
i love teaching kids that no matter how much you make,
someone (ie local, state, federal gov) is going take a percentage of it.
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Old 07-17-2006, 07:17 PM   #12 (permalink)
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Allowance? Ha, I didn't get allowance. Closest thing I got was I got my lunch money either way, and if I wanted to bring lunch, that was fine, and I could spend the money. Other than that, I worked, for Aunts and Uncles, or for Grandparents, started doing hay with grandpa at 13, etc.

That said, I think four is a little young to be manageing money, but only by a little. I would imagine it's differant with any kid.
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Old 07-18-2006, 10:23 AM   #13 (permalink)
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I never had an allowance.
As a member of the family, there were certain things expected of me, so I didn't earn money by cleaning my room or picking up after myself. If I wanted something, I had to earn the money by "going above and beyond." It was always a fair exchange I thought; I mean, I wasn't scrubbing baseboards with a toothbrush for a quarter or anything like that.

I imagine it'll be the same with my kids. Kids should certainly learn something about money before there thrust into the world of minimum wage; I just think there will be other opportunities to so. I don't really like the idea giving kids money to reward them for doing the things they should be doing anyway. You know...reward them for doing the extraordinary rather than the expected.
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Old 07-19-2006, 03:16 PM   #14 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by guthmund
I never had an allowance.
As a member of the family, there were certain things expected of me, so I didn't earn money by cleaning my room or picking up after myself. If I wanted something, I had to earn the money by "going above and beyond." It was always a fair exchange I thought; I mean, I wasn't scrubbing baseboards with a toothbrush for a quarter or anything like that.
Same in my house. We were all part of a family, all lived under the same roof, and all had to contribute. Keeping my room and stuff picked up was expected no matter what. On top of that I had a handful of chores to do regularly.
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Old 08-01-2006, 05:13 AM   #15 (permalink)
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I figured I'd share my experience as well - this is coming from the point of view of when I was a kid, not as a parent

When I was fairly young (probably six or seven) my dad gave me a "job" at his grocery store. I was paid $1.00 per hour, and at the time it seemed like a lot. Granted, being so young I couldn't do a whole lot, and it pretty much boiled down to stocking and facing the bottom two shelves in the store (which the "real" employees didn't really mind, as they had to crouch constantly to reach them and they were just my height)

I was never forced to work, but my father encouraged me to do so. Obviously, I didn't work excessively, but I do believe that it taught me to work hard for money - I quickly realized that money didn't just grow on trees.

When I was in fifth grade or so, my father started giving me a weekly allowance - with a catch. My allowance was $40.00 per week, but I had to take care of cleaning the house and the yardwork. Forty bucks a week may seem like a lot, but the reality of the situation was at that point forward I was responsible for my own expenses. Although my father wouldn't let me starve, of course, I paid for my own "hot lunch" meals, my field trip fees for school, even my own clothes, and of course anything else I wanted. This included going to movies, renting video games, ect.

This was by far one of the best things that he could have done (at least in my opinion) to help me understand the value of sacrifice and of saving. He encouraged me to save at least half of my allowance - which I did. However, I learned at a young age that necessities always come first (I learned that my first week of allowance when I couldn't afford "hot lunch" after blowing all of my money the day I got it on toys) and if you have a goal, sometimes sacrifice is necessary (I spent as little as I could for quite some time to save up for a Super Nintendo) I also learned to save up for known expenditures I would have in the future (back to school supplies, Christmas, ect)

Looking back on it, I'm very glad he did what he did. I'm pretty good with money nowdays, and can pretty much say with certainty that he is the sole cause for me learning so young.
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Old 08-01-2006, 06:16 AM   #16 (permalink)
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No allowance. Any money I got as a child I earned for work done, chiefly babysitting starting at around eleven or twelve, and even then it was only for neighbor children. Taking care of my yonger siblings was just my family duty as the oldest child. My parents took care of necessities like food and clothes, and that was it. Being a somewhat pretty girl with "a reputation" helped a bit, because I never had to come up with money for dates, which was good, given that I didn't have any.

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Old 08-01-2006, 07:03 AM   #17 (permalink)
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A brief rundown of my allowance history:

Probably started getting it around age 7 (circa 1982). I got about $2/week provided I did my short list of chores (make my bed, set the table, etc.). Each chore I didn't do saw 10cents subtracted from the total. So instead of having to earn the money via chores, it was mine to lose unless I got lazy.

Starting in Jr. High I got a regular allowance (I think something like $10/week) that wasn't attached to any specific regiment of chores. Instead, I was expected to help out when asked. I didn't get any extra money for mowing the lawn or shoveling snow. Some weeks I pretty much got it for nothing, others (like when it snowed 3 feet overnight or I mowed the lawn in 100 degree heat) I more than earned it.

By high school (1988-92) I was closer to $20/week but was expected to pay for my own gas/entertainment/etc. I never went to Dad and said "I'm going to the movies, can I have some money?" I had to budget my allowance to do what I wanted to do (and had a few embarassing moments where I asked a girl on a date on Monday but was broke by the weekend...)

As the things I wanted/needed got more expensive, my Dad implemented a "fund matching" deal. For example, in 10th grade the 10 speed bike I got when I was 13 was a little small so I wanted to get a new mountain bike. The one I wanted was about $300, so my Dad said that if I saved up $200 towards it, he would pay for the rest. Same went for a few other things that he saw as practical (in other words he didn't help out buying the $400 stereo speakers, etc.)

So, yeah, there you go. FWIW...
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