Wishing Well (3 minute play) - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

TrumanTT · 08-15-2005, 10:00 PM

WISHING WELL

a comedy

CHARACTERS

SKIP, 20, Dating PEGGY SUE, should be cheesy, bubbly, and over-acted.

PEGGY SUE, 19, Dating SKIP, should also be cheesy, bubbly and over-acted. The couple are head over heals for each other.

BARNEY, 57, a bum on the street begging for change.

TIME

Fall, afternoon

PLACE

In the middle of a park right in front of a meager wishing well.

(BARNEY is sleeping on the wishing well which is just a step or two stage left from center. SKIP and PEGGY SUE come from stage right hand in hand and come on giggling to each other)

SKIP
Oh Peggy Sue, you’re so great! I love you!

PEGGY SUE
Oh Skip, you’re greater! I love you even more!

SKIP
Oh your as cute as a button!

SKIP & PEGGY SUE
ESKIMO KISS! (Both Eskimo kiss)

SKIP
Oh look over there Peggy Sue, can you guess what that is?

PEGGY SUE
A vagrant?

SKIP
No, behind that thing, it’s a wishing well!

PEGGY SUE
Oh, just like in the movies. Come on lets go over there.
(SKIP and PEGGY SUE walk right up to the wishing well and wake up BARNEY)

BARNEY
(weakly and sticks out his hand)
Change?

PEGGY SUE
(Pulls out a coin from her purse and holds it)
Oh there is so much I want to wish for! I can’t make up my mind! How about you make a wish before me Skip.

SKIP
Alright then sugar.
(Pulls out a coin for himself and thinks for a few seconds)
Ah I got it! I wish for world peace!
(Throws in the coin. BARNEY follows it through the air)

2
PEGGY SUE
Oh, that is SO nice! I know just why I’m in love with you because you’re always thinking of the less fortunate of the world!

SKIP
Oh I know Peggy Sue. We can’t all be republicans! (laughs to himself)

BARNEY
Change?

SKIP
I’m sorry did you say something Peggy?

PEGGY SUE
No I don’t think so. Ah, I know what I want! I wish for an end for all the wars of the world!
(throws in her coin and BARNEY follows it again)
Oh wait… that’s too much like your wish, I have to try again!
(digs through her purse for another coin)

SKIP
Oh nothing is too good for my woman!

BARNEY
Change?

PEGGY SUE
Oh… its just too hard to decide! I wish I could help out everyone in the world! I have so many wishes

SKIP
Well I’m no genious but I have a real god idea.
(SKIP and PEGGY SUE both look at BARNEY for a while)

BARNEY
Change?

SKIP
Just make all the wishes you need! We have free time and enough quarters!

PEGGY SUE
Oh your so smart!

3
SKIP & PEGGY SUE
ESKIMO KISS! (Both Eskimo kiss)

PEGGY SUE
I have all my wishes that I want to make!
(After every wish she throws in another coin and BARNEY follows them all down)
I wish to end world hunger… to stop world famine… to save the rain forest… to prevent the ice caps from melting… and, which African country do the children need saving from? I always forget what Sally Struthers says.

SKIP
Well I bet its either Ethiopia, Congo, or South Africa… oh well better throw in three to cover them all!

PEGGY SUE
I know why I stick with my smart man! Silly me.
(PEGGY SUE throws in three more coins and they walk off stage left giggling to each other again)

BARNEY
(gets up and just stares at the well for a while)
I wish… people knew not to throw their money away!
(pulls out a coin from his pants and throws it in)
(Blackout)

...you like?

tecoyah · 08-16-2005, 01:03 PM

Political Satire....well done

vox_rox · 08-26-2005, 08:51 AM

It's a really great idea, but I honestly don't think that you've really thought about what you want to do with this, what you want to say, or where you want it to go.

I really think that Skip and Peggy Sue need to be fleshed out more if you want people to pay attention to them. As they are, they simply appear to be caricatures with no depth, and as such, I don't like them or believe them. I understand why you made them shallow, but the veneer is too thin and not believable.

Also, who are they supposed to represent? We never really get a sense of that. Although it's good to have something in a play that can be interpreted deffirently with different readings and from person to person, there should still be some underlying political or social representation, and you should try to reinforce that a little more.

As for Barney, I don't think he gets the equal time he deserves. I think the number of times he speaks is good, but I think he should be making statements in such a way as to invoke some sense of the desperation and seperation that would exist in such a character. And, just like the others, he really needs more of an identitiy, not just window dressing to deliver a pithy punchline.

I think this could be a 5 minute play instead of 3, and you could develop these characters to really deliver a punch. When Barney concludes with his ultimate wish, it should feel profound and have some real impact. I think it can be done, and I'd love to see a re-write.

As I said at the beginning, this is a great idea, but the first draft was just a bit weak.

Thanks for sharing.

Peace,

Pierre

Charlatan · 08-26-2005, 09:26 AM

My only issue is with Barney's wish. It just isn't impactful enough. I'm not sure exactly what it needs.

Otherwise good satire...

08-15-2005, 10:00 PM	#1 (permalink)
TrumanTT Upright Location: Columbia, MO	Wishing Well (3 minute play) WISHING WELL a comedy CHARACTERS SKIP, 20, Dating PEGGY SUE, should be cheesy, bubbly, and over-acted. PEGGY SUE, 19, Dating SKIP, should also be cheesy, bubbly and over-acted. The couple are head over heals for each other. BARNEY, 57, a bum on the street begging for change. TIME Fall, afternoon PLACE In the middle of a park right in front of a meager wishing well. (BARNEY is sleeping on the wishing well which is just a step or two stage left from center. SKIP and PEGGY SUE come from stage right hand in hand and come on giggling to each other) SKIP Oh Peggy Sue, you’re so great! I love you! PEGGY SUE Oh Skip, you’re greater! I love you even more! SKIP Oh your as cute as a button! SKIP & PEGGY SUE ESKIMO KISS! (Both Eskimo kiss) SKIP Oh look over there Peggy Sue, can you guess what that is? PEGGY SUE A vagrant? SKIP No, behind that thing, it’s a wishing well! PEGGY SUE Oh, just like in the movies. Come on lets go over there. (SKIP and PEGGY SUE walk right up to the wishing well and wake up BARNEY) BARNEY (weakly and sticks out his hand) Change? PEGGY SUE (Pulls out a coin from her purse and holds it) Oh there is so much I want to wish for! I can’t make up my mind! How about you make a wish before me Skip. SKIP Alright then sugar. (Pulls out a coin for himself and thinks for a few seconds) Ah I got it! I wish for world peace! (Throws in the coin. BARNEY follows it through the air) 2 PEGGY SUE Oh, that is SO nice! I know just why I’m in love with you because you’re always thinking of the less fortunate of the world! SKIP Oh I know Peggy Sue. We can’t all be republicans! (laughs to himself) BARNEY Change? SKIP I’m sorry did you say something Peggy? PEGGY SUE No I don’t think so. Ah, I know what I want! I wish for an end for all the wars of the world! (throws in her coin and BARNEY follows it again) Oh wait… that’s too much like your wish, I have to try again! (digs through her purse for another coin) SKIP Oh nothing is too good for my woman! BARNEY Change? PEGGY SUE Oh… its just too hard to decide! I wish I could help out everyone in the world! I have so many wishes SKIP Well I’m no genious but I have a real god idea. (SKIP and PEGGY SUE both look at BARNEY for a while) BARNEY Change? SKIP Just make all the wishes you need! We have free time and enough quarters! PEGGY SUE Oh your so smart! 3 SKIP & PEGGY SUE ESKIMO KISS! (Both Eskimo kiss) PEGGY SUE I have all my wishes that I want to make! (After every wish she throws in another coin and BARNEY follows them all down) I wish to end world hunger… to stop world famine… to save the rain forest… to prevent the ice caps from melting… and, which African country do the children need saving from? I always forget what Sally Struthers says. SKIP Well I bet its either Ethiopia, Congo, or South Africa… oh well better throw in three to cover them all! PEGGY SUE I know why I stick with my smart man! Silly me. (PEGGY SUE throws in three more coins and they walk off stage left giggling to each other again) BARNEY (gets up and just stares at the well for a while) I wish… people knew not to throw their money away! (pulls out a coin from his pants and throws it in) (Blackout) ...you like? __________________ "I hate quotations. Tell me about yourself." Ralph Waldo Emerson "I feel sorry for the failed lives of everyone who can sum up their experiences in one small quote." MINE! (but thats what I think Ralphie was trying to get at ^up there^

08-16-2005, 01:03 PM	#2 (permalink)
tecoyah Illusionary	Political Satire....well done __________________ Holding onto anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned. - Buddha

08-26-2005, 08:51 AM	#3 (permalink)
vox_rox Psycho Location: Comfy Little Bungalow	It's a really great idea, but I honestly don't think that you've really thought about what you want to do with this, what you want to say, or where you want it to go. I really think that Skip and Peggy Sue need to be fleshed out more if you want people to pay attention to them. As they are, they simply appear to be caricatures with no depth, and as such, I don't like them or believe them. I understand why you made them shallow, but the veneer is too thin and not believable. Also, who are they supposed to represent? We never really get a sense of that. Although it's good to have something in a play that can be interpreted deffirently with different readings and from person to person, there should still be some underlying political or social representation, and you should try to reinforce that a little more. As for Barney, I don't think he gets the equal time he deserves. I think the number of times he speaks is good, but I think he should be making statements in such a way as to invoke some sense of the desperation and seperation that would exist in such a character. And, just like the others, he really needs more of an identitiy, not just window dressing to deliver a pithy punchline. I think this could be a 5 minute play instead of 3, and you could develop these characters to really deliver a punch. When Barney concludes with his ultimate wish, it should feel profound and have some real impact. I think it can be done, and I'd love to see a re-write. As I said at the beginning, this is a great idea, but the first draft was just a bit weak. Thanks for sharing. Peace, Pierre __________________ --- There is no such thing as strong coffee - only weak people. ---

08-26-2005, 09:26 AM	#4 (permalink)
Charlatan Getting it. Super Moderator Location: Lion City	My only issue is with Barney's wish. It just isn't impactful enough. I'm not sure exactly what it needs. Otherwise good satire... __________________ "My hands are on fire. Hands are on fire. Ain't got no more time for all you charlatans and liars." - Old Man Luedecke