Writing Challenge #20 - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

amonkie · 05-30-2005, 06:23 AM

Your Challenge for this week: Using any form of writing you choose, write with WAR as your theme.

Let the writing begin...

Hain · 05-30-2005, 01:25 PM

Eh... I don't really like it now. http://www.tfproject.org/tfp/showpos...5&postcount=41

tecoyah · 05-30-2005, 04:37 PM

Thunderclouds and mortar flash
Eating the flesh of children made men
Broken dreams line the bed
this river of red
No angels carry dead to God
as Ravens pick your friends
and enemies corpse bleeds slow drips
as flesh rips
when naked before the face of doom
no uniform sets us apart
all die with the same regrets
same lost bets
this battle cannot be won at all
the War a waste of human toil
this taste of hatred in my wrath
a dead end Path

J.R.V.A. · 05-30-2005, 07:48 PM

Torn
Betwixed one, as to another
The fighting rages on, no good can come of this
Forming lines that as a boy,
I thought I'd never cross
Using up my nerve to say,
None will run for cover
Exhausted turning all around
Which way may be the right
As I bury deep inside
I salve away the scars
Indifferent as the summer moon
I slice off one more piece
As I cut more deeper still
I wonder whats inside
Confusion rattles to the core
The lonley cannon sounds
I stop for my lucidity
Then hear the other cry
I am at war with myself

Esen · 05-31-2005, 02:33 AM

Flight from the fight of burning flame,
scoulded, tortured,nurtured lame,
all around our fathers we blame,
no more justification for this useless game;
and around we go seeking shelter from the lost ones,
the ones whose hearts run rampant and purple.
Unleashing thie vindictive laughter of chain shot machine guns rolling through meadows of salvation and sand.
Yet we are strong,
The power that has fueled us is now raw and pumping
freeing the souls of the chosen.

ngdawg · 05-31-2005, 05:12 AM

He just wanted words from home
My name was given and we wrote
His name was Frank as I recall
A photo, now long lost, sent with his letter
Three months to go
He couldn't wait
We wrote every week
This 14 year old girl
And the 20 year old boy far from home
The three months weren't yet past
But the letters stopped.....

Hain · 05-31-2005, 07:05 PM

The black and white photographs are of nameless men on a nameless land. It is a dark day in this history as black smoke hangs over the trenches choking as does the noose. The birds are replaced by shrieking bombs and animals are the running tanks with death cries. The bullets are not seen or heard at all in this action, just felt at they puncture the vessels with flowing red essence. Molten slag merges with mangled soldiers into a terrible monument to lie in the ground for all time, longer than any monument the countries these men fought for could put up. These forgotten men live forever in death and in this photograph. These men never knew it was the end of their world.

Hektore · 05-31-2005, 07:48 PM

So, I hate writing and never do it, but I need to get better at it. Since no one has ever really taught me how, I'm looking for criticism here. Don't be afraid to not be gentle, just please explain yourself. Here goes....

Yeeeeeehaw! I did it! Not just anyone can be a Marine sniper, there is just too much demand mentally and physically for anyone to get there. However, I did it, I am the elite now. I graduate tomorrow; I'm going to be deployed inside of two weeks. Ever see a five year-old at the gates to Disneyland? That is me right now. I'm ecstatic for an assignment, in the field, defending my country without leaving so much as a hint even exist. I don't know how you can't be excited, my wife is nervous but I'm with the best of the best. I'm as close to unkillable as you can be.

Here I am, finally got my assignment and God is it going to be glorious. It would be a lie to say that I am not nervous at all, but it's more of an anxious nervous than anything. Out in the desert watching a well; a well that is essential for supplying a local militia force we are here to suppress. Simple idea: cut off the well; cut off the water; they have to give up. My wife is now very worried, but I write to her every week letting her know everything is great, that it couldn't be better. She seems to think that disaster is going to strike. "If this well water is really so important, they'll be protecting it won't they?"

Second day in, finally someone is coming. "Everyone on the way to the well is the enemy, any time of day: shoot to kill." Simple, it's like I was born to do it, now just wait for them to get close enough. It's a woman with a baby on her shoulders. A woman, not unlike my wife , something I was raised to protect. Well, I was also raised not to kill and I have orders, besides I'm sure the rest will figure it out when she doesn't come back. The baby will fall far enough if I get the woman. A simple squeeze, and nobody ever has to know.

Two weeks without leaving my cell. Row of bushes on the left, rock face on the right. Not bad for only having five days worth of supplies but not nearly as glorious as the commercial made it seem. I haven't stood up since I laid down that first day. They stopped coming during the day, not that it helps them and it makes sleeping more difficult if not impossible. Up to 11 kills though, any soldier would be proud. Not one man with a gun however, not one man either. All women and children, they must belong to the village where this militia is hiding. Oh well, they wouldn't have me doing this if it didn't need to be. Raised to protect indeed. You ever have a woman who is truly frightened jump into your arms? Greatest feeling in the world because you both know she is safe there. When her head finds that spot on your shoulder, your heart jumps to meet it and you completely forget anything else even exists. It's hard to imagine putting a bullet in that same head, let alone 11 of them. After the first couple you get used to it however, I'm almost numb to it now.

Been home for about 15 hours now, the phone is ringing. She hands it to me, it's my lieutenant calling to apologize. He says that tomorrow there will be a public apology for the bad intel gathered and that he's sorry I had to sit for so long, for no reason. Apparently the militia was just passing through and the village had nothing to do with it. I hang up, dumbfounded and stare quizzically at my wife, to whom I then explain the call at her request. She wraps her arms around me and kisses my cheek. "Well, at least you didn't actually have to shoot anyone, especially now that this is out."

"Right."

Seeker · 06-01-2005, 06:37 AM

Holy wars
Political wars
The fight for freedom
We fight for our rights

Gang wars
Personal wars
We fight injustices
And we sometimes fight life

Will a day come
When darkness won't dawn
We won't fight to keep peace
We won't fight being born

fhqwhgads · 06-01-2005, 10:04 AM

It seemed so harmless
"Would you like to play a game?"
I should have picked chess

docbungle · 06-01-2005, 04:20 PM

Chicken pot pies and hand grenades. They can't fuck with me now.

One by one they sneak up and get blown apart. Extremeties flop onto the lawn but the rest of them dissapear. Bone fragments fly through my windows and stab the carpet. Shards of glass fall into my meal and I chew them up with the rest of it.

The oven timer goes DING and another pot pie is ready. I pump off a few rounds then go and retrieve my meal. These things are fucking great. Nothing beats a pot pie. It burns my throat on the way down and I don't care. I'm bleeding down there anyway. A little heartburn's not going to ruin my day.

Back at the window I can see them coming. They look very serious. They are hunched low and wearing black, slinking along the perimiter like charcoal ghosts. Their badges go BLING. I pick up the automatic and let 'em have it. They fall like bricks and squirm on the lawn. My muzzle flash is bright and I wonder if they can see the pot pie streaming down my face. I wonder if they can tell it's a pot pie or if they think it's snot.

I laugh out loud and then take one in the shoulder and go down hard. I fall on broken glass and bone fragments. I stop laughing and start cursing. Somehow bits of pot pie come out my nose.

I don't miss a beat. Before they even know I'm hit I pull the pin and launch it out the window. They don't even see it. Just before the boom my oven goes DING and it's time to eat some more. Then the explosion buckles my front door and renders me deaf.

God I'm fucking hungry.

boredom · 06-01-2005, 04:43 PM

Darkness surounds all
On my kness i fall
tick tock tick tock
Listen to the gun cock

Hear the film begin to roll
Hear the bell begin to toll
Feel the blood drip off my head
This is all to be said

Tick tock Tick tock

Axiom_e · 06-02-2005, 07:13 AM

Hrmm... I think this may fit even though the orginal inspiration was watching my uncle taking off life support.

I watched a man die today.
I watched my uncle die
and the only solace I could take
was that there was no life behind his eyes.

amonkie · 06-12-2005, 11:28 AM

The Soldier's home, the ribbon untied
Dinner at the table with all chairs filled
Every now and then his face will change
The smile gone and the eyes far away

The laughs come now soft and far between
Some steps a little slower before he leaves
The boy who left now faces life as a man
Idyllic streets cannot erase horror overseas

A very high cost paid to protect his nation
Knowing full well the scale may never balance
Broken lives will dwell in memories created
As the man struggles for freedom to grieve

Ustwo · 06-18-2005, 10:05 PM

I love leading an army, I love the power, I love life and death being mine to decide, I love the destruction, I love the spoils. Does that horrify you? I couldn’t care less.

My forces were behind a small rise, hidden in view from the city unaware of what was about to befall it. I had no air support for this fight, but I did have artillery, and I had already destroyed the enemies only airport in Cancun. This should be cake.

I ordered my infantry on top of the ridge line, just out of range of small arms fire from the city, they were backed up by anti-tank infantry and three APC’s. I then ordered the howitzers to fire upon the city, and they began shelling for what seemed like hours. Finally the enemy responded but sent in his forces piecemeal. They were quickly cut down by machine gun fire while the city continued to get pounded.

I was getting bored and had enough of waiting. I ordered the infantry to take the city, and if they take a few casualties, who cares? They were expendable and I had more in training anyways. As the riflemen attacked the citizens began to flee, but I was ready for them. I had two heavy machine guns set to cut down anyone who dared flee me. It was a slaughter, men, women, children, they were cut down. Even the howitzers got in on the slaughter of civilians, sending bodies flying everywhere, it was a nice touch and no one escaped. With the city firmly under my control I assessed the damage to my troops, I lost a few more riflemen than I could have had I waited, but its not like they matter, my APC’s and howitzers suffered no loses and thats all the mattered. I killed dozens of enemy fighters and untold civilians, and managed to capture most of the infrastructure of the city in tact.

All in all a good fight.

Ah well its late, think I’ll save the game and finish it tomorrow.

05-30-2005, 06:23 AM	#1 (permalink)
amonkie Drifting Administrator Location: Windy City	Writing Challenge #20 Your Challenge for this week: Using any form of writing you choose, write with WAR as your theme. Let the writing begin... __________________ Calling from deep in the heart, from where the eyes can't see and the ears can't hear, from where the mountain trails end and only love can go... ~~~ Three Rivers Hare Krishna

05-30-2005, 01:25 PM	#2 (permalink)
Hain has a plan Location: middle of Whywouldanyonebethere	Eh... I don't really like it now. http://www.tfproject.org/tfp/showpos...5&postcount=41 __________________ ////\\// IRONSKY.NET \\//\\\\ Last edited by Hain; 05-30-2005 at 01:34 PM..

05-30-2005, 04:37 PM	#3 (permalink)
tecoyah Illusionary	Thunderclouds and mortar flash Eating the flesh of children made men Broken dreams line the bed this river of red No angels carry dead to God as Ravens pick your friends and enemies corpse bleeds slow drips as flesh rips when naked before the face of doom no uniform sets us apart all die with the same regrets same lost bets this battle cannot be won at all the War a waste of human toil this taste of hatred in my wrath a dead end Path __________________ Holding onto anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned. - Buddha

05-30-2005, 07:48 PM	#4 (permalink)
J.R.V.A. Junkie Location: Utah	Torn Betwixed one, as to another The fighting rages on, no good can come of this Forming lines that as a boy, I thought I'd never cross Using up my nerve to say, None will run for cover Exhausted turning all around Which way may be the right As I bury deep inside I salve away the scars Indifferent as the summer moon I slice off one more piece As I cut more deeper still I wonder whats inside Confusion rattles to the core The lonley cannon sounds I stop for my lucidity Then hear the other cry I am at war with myself __________________ And as she plays, her sweet song of laughter floats through the air and warms my heart

05-31-2005, 02:33 AM	#5 (permalink)
Esen TFPer formaly known as Chauncey Location: North East	Flight from the fight of burning flame, scoulded, tortured,nurtured lame, all around our fathers we blame, no more justification for this useless game; and around we go seeking shelter from the lost ones, the ones whose hearts run rampant and purple. Unleashing thie vindictive laughter of chain shot machine guns rolling through meadows of salvation and sand. Yet we are strong, The power that has fueled us is now raw and pumping freeing the souls of the chosen. __________________ ~Esen What is everyone doing in my room?

05-31-2005, 05:12 AM	#6 (permalink)
ngdawg peekaboo Location: on the back, bitch	He just wanted words from home My name was given and we wrote His name was Frank as I recall A photo, now long lost, sent with his letter Three months to go He couldn't wait We wrote every week This 14 year old girl And the 20 year old boy far from home The three months weren't yet past But the letters stopped..... __________________ Don't blame me. I didn't vote for either of'em.

05-31-2005, 07:05 PM	#7 (permalink)
Hain has a plan Location: middle of Whywouldanyonebethere	The black and white photographs are of nameless men on a nameless land. It is a dark day in this history as black smoke hangs over the trenches choking as does the noose. The birds are replaced by shrieking bombs and animals are the running tanks with death cries. The bullets are not seen or heard at all in this action, just felt at they puncture the vessels with flowing red essence. Molten slag merges with mangled soldiers into a terrible monument to lie in the ground for all time, longer than any monument the countries these men fought for could put up. These forgotten men live forever in death and in this photograph. These men never knew it was the end of their world. Last edited by Hain; 05-31-2005 at 07:08 PM..

05-31-2005, 07:48 PM	#8 (permalink)
Hektore Junkie Location: Greater Harrisburg Area	So, I hate writing and never do it, but I need to get better at it. Since no one has ever really taught me how, I'm looking for criticism here. Don't be afraid to not be gentle, just please explain yourself. Here goes.... Yeeeeeehaw! I did it! Not just anyone can be a Marine sniper, there is just too much demand mentally and physically for anyone to get there. However, I did it, I am the elite now. I graduate tomorrow; I'm going to be deployed inside of two weeks. Ever see a five year-old at the gates to Disneyland? That is me right now. I'm ecstatic for an assignment, in the field, defending my country without leaving so much as a hint even exist. I don't know how you can't be excited, my wife is nervous but I'm with the best of the best. I'm as close to unkillable as you can be. Here I am, finally got my assignment and God is it going to be glorious. It would be a lie to say that I am not nervous at all, but it's more of an anxious nervous than anything. Out in the desert watching a well; a well that is essential for supplying a local militia force we are here to suppress. Simple idea: cut off the well; cut off the water; they have to give up. My wife is now very worried, but I write to her every week letting her know everything is great, that it couldn't be better. She seems to think that disaster is going to strike. "If this well water is really so important, they'll be protecting it won't they?" Second day in, finally someone is coming. "Everyone on the way to the well is the enemy, any time of day: shoot to kill." Simple, it's like I was born to do it, now just wait for them to get close enough. It's a woman with a baby on her shoulders. A woman, not unlike my wife , something I was raised to protect. Well, I was also raised not to kill and I have orders, besides I'm sure the rest will figure it out when she doesn't come back. The baby will fall far enough if I get the woman. A simple squeeze, and nobody ever has to know. Two weeks without leaving my cell. Row of bushes on the left, rock face on the right. Not bad for only having five days worth of supplies but not nearly as glorious as the commercial made it seem. I haven't stood up since I laid down that first day. They stopped coming during the day, not that it helps them and it makes sleeping more difficult if not impossible. Up to 11 kills though, any soldier would be proud. Not one man with a gun however, not one man either. All women and children, they must belong to the village where this militia is hiding. Oh well, they wouldn't have me doing this if it didn't need to be. Raised to protect indeed. You ever have a woman who is truly frightened jump into your arms? Greatest feeling in the world because you both know she is safe there. When her head finds that spot on your shoulder, your heart jumps to meet it and you completely forget anything else even exists. It's hard to imagine putting a bullet in that same head, let alone 11 of them. After the first couple you get used to it however, I'm almost numb to it now. Been home for about 15 hours now, the phone is ringing. She hands it to me, it's my lieutenant calling to apologize. He says that tomorrow there will be a public apology for the bad intel gathered and that he's sorry I had to sit for so long, for no reason. Apparently the militia was just passing through and the village had nothing to do with it. I hang up, dumbfounded and stare quizzically at my wife, to whom I then explain the call at her request. She wraps her arms around me and kisses my cheek. "Well, at least you didn't actually have to shoot anyone, especially now that this is out." "Right." __________________ The advantage law is the best law in rugby, because it lets you ignore all the others for the good of the game.

06-01-2005, 06:37 AM	#9 (permalink)
Seeker Getting Clearer Location: with spirit	Holy wars Political wars The fight for freedom We fight for our rights Gang wars Personal wars We fight injustices And we sometimes fight life Will a day come When darkness won't dawn We won't fight to keep peace We won't fight being born __________________ *To those who wander but who are not lost...* ~ Knowledge is not something you acquire, it is something you open yourself to.

06-01-2005, 10:04 AM	#10 (permalink)
fhqwhgads Junkie	It seemed so harmless "Would you like to play a game?" I should have picked chess

06-01-2005, 04:20 PM	#11 (permalink)
docbungle It's all downhill from here Location: Denver	Chicken pot pies and hand grenades. They can't fuck with me now. One by one they sneak up and get blown apart. Extremeties flop onto the lawn but the rest of them dissapear. Bone fragments fly through my windows and stab the carpet. Shards of glass fall into my meal and I chew them up with the rest of it. The oven timer goes DING and another pot pie is ready. I pump off a few rounds then go and retrieve my meal. These things are fucking great. Nothing beats a pot pie. It burns my throat on the way down and I don't care. I'm bleeding down there anyway. A little heartburn's not going to ruin my day. Back at the window I can see them coming. They look very serious. They are hunched low and wearing black, slinking along the perimiter like charcoal ghosts. Their badges go BLING. I pick up the automatic and let 'em have it. They fall like bricks and squirm on the lawn. My muzzle flash is bright and I wonder if they can see the pot pie streaming down my face. I wonder if they can tell it's a pot pie or if they think it's snot. I laugh out loud and then take one in the shoulder and go down hard. I fall on broken glass and bone fragments. I stop laughing and start cursing. Somehow bits of pot pie come out my nose. I don't miss a beat. Before they even know I'm hit I pull the pin and launch it out the window. They don't even see it. Just before the boom my oven goes DING and it's time to eat some more. Then the explosion buckles my front door and renders me deaf. God I'm fucking hungry. __________________ Bad Luck City Last edited by docbungle; 06-01-2005 at 04:24 PM..

06-01-2005, 04:43 PM	#12 (permalink)
boredom Insane Location: California	Darkness surounds all On my kness i fall tick tock tick tock Listen to the gun cock Hear the film begin to roll Hear the bell begin to toll Feel the blood drip off my head This is all to be said Tick tock Tick tock __________________ Wiggum: Find anything this time, boys? Cop: Uh, no sign of him, Chief. Wiggum: Princess Opal? Opal: I see nothing here, but I'm afraid it's splitsville for Delta Burke and Major Dad. Wiggum: But they seem so happy! -- ``Bart the Murderer''

06-02-2005, 07:13 AM	#13 (permalink)
Axiom_e Tilted Location: United States, East Coast, New Jersey	Hrmm... I think this may fit even though the orginal inspiration was watching my uncle taking off life support. I watched a man die today. I watched my uncle die and the only solace I could take was that there was no life behind his eyes. __________________ Life is meaningless. How awesome is that? Rock On! Now I can do whatever the hell I want and give my own life meaning to myself.

06-12-2005, 11:28 AM	#14 (permalink)
amonkie Drifting Administrator Location: Windy City	The Soldier's home, the ribbon untied Dinner at the table with all chairs filled Every now and then his face will change The smile gone and the eyes far away The laughs come now soft and far between Some steps a little slower before he leaves The boy who left now faces life as a man Idyllic streets cannot erase horror overseas A very high cost paid to protect his nation Knowing full well the scale may never balance Broken lives will dwell in memories created As the man struggles for freedom to grieve __________________ Calling from deep in the heart, from where the eyes can't see and the ears can't hear, from where the mountain trails end and only love can go... ~~~ Three Rivers Hare Krishna

06-18-2005, 10:05 PM	#15 (permalink)
Ustwo Pissing in the cornflakes	I love leading an army, I love the power, I love life and death being mine to decide, I love the destruction, I love the spoils. Does that horrify you? I couldn’t care less. My forces were behind a small rise, hidden in view from the city unaware of what was about to befall it. I had no air support for this fight, but I did have artillery, and I had already destroyed the enemies only airport in Cancun. This should be cake. I ordered my infantry on top of the ridge line, just out of range of small arms fire from the city, they were backed up by anti-tank infantry and three APC’s. I then ordered the howitzers to fire upon the city, and they began shelling for what seemed like hours. Finally the enemy responded but sent in his forces piecemeal. They were quickly cut down by machine gun fire while the city continued to get pounded. I was getting bored and had enough of waiting. I ordered the infantry to take the city, and if they take a few casualties, who cares? They were expendable and I had more in training anyways. As the riflemen attacked the citizens began to flee, but I was ready for them. I had two heavy machine guns set to cut down anyone who dared flee me. It was a slaughter, men, women, children, they were cut down. Even the howitzers got in on the slaughter of civilians, sending bodies flying everywhere, it was a nice touch and no one escaped. With the city firmly under my control I assessed the damage to my troops, I lost a few more riflemen than I could have had I waited, but its not like they matter, my APC’s and howitzers suffered no loses and thats all the mattered. I killed dozens of enemy fighters and untold civilians, and managed to capture most of the infrastructure of the city in tact. All in all a good fight. Ah well its late, think I’ll save the game and finish it tomorrow. __________________ Agents of the enemies who hold office in our own government, who attempt to eliminate our "freedoms" and our "right to know" are posting among us, I fear.....on this very forum. - host Obama - Know a Man by the friends he keeps.