What do you think of random nonsense like this? - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

orangeaidcow · 01-19-2004, 08:58 AM

These were a collection of old AIM profiles, eh most people like them.

i am writing this because
well
after you get used to the tickle me elmos stealing your beef
and the jello taking bites out of your leg things start to slow down
until gaint oranges fall from the ground and the sky open up and out
pops jay leno and he becomes presidant and then the brits take over
and OH GOD NO!!!!........

and it goes on
because then flesh eating rabbits consume the oranges that fell from
the ground and then all the hops and then all the drunkards died and
the surfers stoped smoking and then all of the nations expect for the
us and ger. and ireland sank into the ocean and then the cows started
to swim and controlled all the oceans and then all fish died and humans
had to eat grass and grew hooves and then we became kosher and the
jews ate us and the god was like cool and then he said some stuff
about light and then the tycoons bought out god and copyrighted him
and sold him to another universe

well jeff the REAL inventor of the cottin gin choose to go forth
and bring peace to the middle east, which as you all know, is
impossible, but jeff... was an idiot.
he thought his super intelligence could bring world peace, ( yea
i know your thinking that a cottin is nothing special and an modern
3 year old could make that but as we said jeff is and idiot.), but
anyway, he traveled through time to modern day isreal.
where he was shot.
but that's getting ahead of ourselves. first he tried to talk to a
woman and got shot.
well jeff is an idiot
stay tuned for the story of Jack.

well Jack is the first man to land on mars. he also was the first
man to hold his breath over 20 mintues. Well as you can guess he
passed out right after this. Well he thought he could do it again on
Mars. Well as he took his mask off the sudden cahnge in pressure
caused he Head to Explode. The Mars program was later cut from Fedral
Budget and then the Russians made the first space colony, made a
gaint lasar cannon and destoried the US. Later that year a guy named
God made a small lab experiment in which he made a samll universe
in his basement with the time accelarated so that in about 30 hours
it would be equal to our same time. as he did this he saw a gaint
lasar blow up part of his little earth as he called it. then he say
the same gun fire again and destory the whole world. seeing that
this could be the fate of his world he ran to a payphone but on his
way there the earth was destoried by the Germans

well about this time god was getting fed up with bill gates and
his having more money them him. so he went on to patent a new
miracle drug under the name 'dog man' and it made trillions. so he
then bought mircosoft and then burned it to the ground. while he
did this bill gates was planing his next, move to buy out the chruch
of god, and all those other religions, for a new state religion,
billism. well a it happen a man named john was writing a religion
so amazing that it would rule the world. well as bil bought out
religion john psoted his religon on the 'net'. well it cought like
wildfire. he became a prophet and took control of the world.
he had bill gates crucified and all the crowds cheered. then peace
reined on the earth for 60 years until johns to children took
control when he died

well then there was a period of prolonged peace.
then the robots came. they fed on old people so the government let
them stay, since they didn't want to pay for medicare. Then the
oranges returned. boy were they pissed. they was like oh no you
didn't to like jay leno and like what what to sam donaldson. then
the army tried to stop the oranges and robots when it was no longer
profitable to have them eat the old people. they lost. badly. well
then the snapple company stepped in and laid it down. they made more
orange-aid then ever and created a new 'robot' flavored drink and they
made trillions. then hillary clinton bought them. it was a sad day.
the people cowered as her winny liberal punbots wander the street. it
was up to jesse helms to save the day.

well if you think jesse could do it, well your an idoit like joe.
anyway along came a man named dan. he destoried the robots and brought
back peace his story will be told later without the robot part.
anyway then a man named jesus from mexico came along and challenged
Jim (john's son who fianlly took control of the world) as the leader
of all humanity and the controler of his religion. and so they fought.
the battle raged for amny days tearing apart families, political
parties, and friends, loved ones, and smaller religions, who were
fighting for governemt tax exempt status. well end the end jim
defeated jesus and the world again rejoiced in peace and love. but
soon all that ended as jim found out his life was for nought when
his lost brother Alex came forth and with his powers of true magic
took control of the world wiping from it all forms of pain and missery.
but will this last...

well as Alex ruled the world peace came and trived. the people
rejocied in his regin. the world seemed as though it could finally
rest. but along came a man whose powers in magic far surpassed an
man before him... alex knew he must fight with all his power to
defeat him.. well alex soon knew how close this battle would be.
so he called upon his hidden super power.
Squirrels. as the battle raged alex called forth the fury of the
squirrels..
but can alex still win

well around now the squrriels got feed up with being shot at by
70 year old ladies and stuff like that so they start force involing
themselves. they learned how to fly and become invisable at will.
well about now they became angery at people still harassing them.
so they attacked. well now earth was in trouble can the inventer
of doctor pepper can the earth

moo said the cow as kim ate off her plate that didn't quite fit into
the scene but hey that;s life and then god was like boom and then
kim took over the world and ruled until jesus was like hey you gotta
leave cause i'm the heir and kim left and all the world failed and
then kim was a monk and learned the secert of eternal life until a
chipmuck bet her in hand to hand combat

back in the golden age jason was able to build brick walls faster then anyone expect
for mister peabody. wel he decided to do a contest on day to see who was the fast.
jason or god. well jason won. so god gave him over the title of god. so jason made all the
poor people rich. but back in the old days the poor were as stupid. the world burned
two day s later. jason gave up and walk to china and was arrested by bush for treason

well around the time of Billus Gateus there was a hippie named steve jobs. he died and
the world rejoiced. then along came someone who was not a hippie. he was cooler then
the hippies so he was a better person, and cleaner. then he became prez and had lots of
chicks and was like the best prez. then an army of gnats ate him and the world rejoiced
expect for little billy who was sad.

well the crowd rejoiced and everyone sang expect for little billy. he didn't like the new
king and he figured out that maybe a little thing in grandfather closet could help. so
billy went and got his grandfather thing. he walk up to the new king and then pulled the
little umbrala and treaten the king. he was then shot down by seventy-two snipers and then
his whole family was dragged from there houses at midnight and beaten. billy was right for
not liking the king. and then the king nipped off and hada drink. and the crowds rejoiced.
then the squrriels came and their leader took the throne.

and the evil ol witch spanked little joey till he was crying. which was like three seconds.
so then little joey ran away with the witch's cats. he left them at the steps of an old
lady. but the cats ate her. so little joey ran and ran until he meet hagar. hagar ran
after him until little joey ran off the ends of the earth. he appeared on the other side
and was met by three wise men. they ate him. but before that little billy was running and
he tripped and lost his father watch. then he jumped up and down. and then he ran off
the end of the earth.

vonstalhein · 01-19-2004, 10:41 AM

Well. There's a lot. Far too much that i could be bothered to read it. But er...seemed intriguing..running off the end of the earth and being eaten must be an experience.

Stillborn · 01-24-2004, 10:41 AM

DUDE- what were you on when you wrote this?

...'Cuz I'd like some o' that sheyat.

orangeaidcow · 01-24-2004, 08:45 PM

Sad thing is, I was sober... sigh

SaltPork · 02-04-2004, 06:13 AM

Maybe you need some acid to make you normal

fallen_angel · 02-09-2004, 09:57 PM

ok i for one would like to say that that brightened my day very much. i dont know how you came up with that but its freakin amazing and im gonna email that to all of my friends if you dont mind. make a chain outta it. something about send this to so many people or you will be eaten by squirels or attacked by bill gates or wise men or something. youre freakin awesome. . .

orangeaidcow · 02-10-2004, 03:09 PM

Go ahead, i'll only be pissed when they come back to me and i can be like i wrote that... and no one will believe me. heh

sentimental_arm · 11-28-2005, 04:17 AM

association

01-19-2004, 08:58 AM	#1 (permalink)
orangeaidcow Tilted Location: Durham	What do you think of random nonsense like this? These were a collection of old AIM profiles, eh most people like them. i am writing this because well after you get used to the tickle me elmos stealing your beef and the jello taking bites out of your leg things start to slow down until gaint oranges fall from the ground and the sky open up and out pops jay leno and he becomes presidant and then the brits take over and OH GOD NO!!!!........ and it goes on because then flesh eating rabbits consume the oranges that fell from the ground and then all the hops and then all the drunkards died and the surfers stoped smoking and then all of the nations expect for the us and ger. and ireland sank into the ocean and then the cows started to swim and controlled all the oceans and then all fish died and humans had to eat grass and grew hooves and then we became kosher and the jews ate us and the god was like cool and then he said some stuff about light and then the tycoons bought out god and copyrighted him and sold him to another universe well jeff the REAL inventor of the cottin gin choose to go forth and bring peace to the middle east, which as you all know, is impossible, but jeff... was an idiot. he thought his super intelligence could bring world peace, ( yea i know your thinking that a cottin is nothing special and an modern 3 year old could make that but as we said jeff is and idiot.), but anyway, he traveled through time to modern day isreal. where he was shot. but that's getting ahead of ourselves. first he tried to talk to a woman and got shot. well jeff is an idiot stay tuned for the story of Jack. well Jack is the first man to land on mars. he also was the first man to hold his breath over 20 mintues. Well as you can guess he passed out right after this. Well he thought he could do it again on Mars. Well as he took his mask off the sudden cahnge in pressure caused he Head to Explode. The Mars program was later cut from Fedral Budget and then the Russians made the first space colony, made a gaint lasar cannon and destoried the US. Later that year a guy named God made a small lab experiment in which he made a samll universe in his basement with the time accelarated so that in about 30 hours it would be equal to our same time. as he did this he saw a gaint lasar blow up part of his little earth as he called it. then he say the same gun fire again and destory the whole world. seeing that this could be the fate of his world he ran to a payphone but on his way there the earth was destoried by the Germans well about this time god was getting fed up with bill gates and his having more money them him. so he went on to patent a new miracle drug under the name 'dog man' and it made trillions. so he then bought mircosoft and then burned it to the ground. while he did this bill gates was planing his next, move to buy out the chruch of god, and all those other religions, for a new state religion, billism. well a it happen a man named john was writing a religion so amazing that it would rule the world. well as bil bought out religion john psoted his religon on the 'net'. well it cought like wildfire. he became a prophet and took control of the world. he had bill gates crucified and all the crowds cheered. then peace reined on the earth for 60 years until johns to children took control when he died well then there was a period of prolonged peace. then the robots came. they fed on old people so the government let them stay, since they didn't want to pay for medicare. Then the oranges returned. boy were they pissed. they was like oh no you didn't to like jay leno and like what what to sam donaldson. then the army tried to stop the oranges and robots when it was no longer profitable to have them eat the old people. they lost. badly. well then the snapple company stepped in and laid it down. they made more orange-aid then ever and created a new 'robot' flavored drink and they made trillions. then hillary clinton bought them. it was a sad day. the people cowered as her winny liberal punbots wander the street. it was up to jesse helms to save the day. well if you think jesse could do it, well your an idoit like joe. anyway along came a man named dan. he destoried the robots and brought back peace his story will be told later without the robot part. anyway then a man named jesus from mexico came along and challenged Jim (john's son who fianlly took control of the world) as the leader of all humanity and the controler of his religion. and so they fought. the battle raged for amny days tearing apart families, political parties, and friends, loved ones, and smaller religions, who were fighting for governemt tax exempt status. well end the end jim defeated jesus and the world again rejoiced in peace and love. but soon all that ended as jim found out his life was for nought when his lost brother Alex came forth and with his powers of true magic took control of the world wiping from it all forms of pain and missery. but will this last... well as Alex ruled the world peace came and trived. the people rejocied in his regin. the world seemed as though it could finally rest. but along came a man whose powers in magic far surpassed an man before him... alex knew he must fight with all his power to defeat him.. well alex soon knew how close this battle would be. so he called upon his hidden super power. Squirrels. as the battle raged alex called forth the fury of the squirrels.. but can alex still win well around now the squrriels got feed up with being shot at by 70 year old ladies and stuff like that so they start force involing themselves. they learned how to fly and become invisable at will. well about now they became angery at people still harassing them. so they attacked. well now earth was in trouble can the inventer of doctor pepper can the earth moo said the cow as kim ate off her plate that didn't quite fit into the scene but hey that;s life and then god was like boom and then kim took over the world and ruled until jesus was like hey you gotta leave cause i'm the heir and kim left and all the world failed and then kim was a monk and learned the secert of eternal life until a chipmuck bet her in hand to hand combat back in the golden age jason was able to build brick walls faster then anyone expect for mister peabody. wel he decided to do a contest on day to see who was the fast. jason or god. well jason won. so god gave him over the title of god. so jason made all the poor people rich. but back in the old days the poor were as stupid. the world burned two day s later. jason gave up and walk to china and was arrested by bush for treason well around the time of Billus Gateus there was a hippie named steve jobs. he died and the world rejoiced. then along came someone who was not a hippie. he was cooler then the hippies so he was a better person, and cleaner. then he became prez and had lots of chicks and was like the best prez. then an army of gnats ate him and the world rejoiced expect for little billy who was sad. well the crowd rejoiced and everyone sang expect for little billy. he didn't like the new king and he figured out that maybe a little thing in grandfather closet could help. so billy went and got his grandfather thing. he walk up to the new king and then pulled the little umbrala and treaten the king. he was then shot down by seventy-two snipers and then his whole family was dragged from there houses at midnight and beaten. billy was right for not liking the king. and then the king nipped off and hada drink. and the crowds rejoiced. then the squrriels came and their leader took the throne. and the evil ol witch spanked little joey till he was crying. which was like three seconds. so then little joey ran away with the witch's cats. he left them at the steps of an old lady. but the cats ate her. so little joey ran and ran until he meet hagar. hagar ran after him until little joey ran off the ends of the earth. he appeared on the other side and was met by three wise men. they ate him. but before that little billy was running and he tripped and lost his father watch. then he jumped up and down. and then he ran off the end of the earth.

01-19-2004, 10:41 AM	#2 (permalink)
vonstalhein Insane Location: Where You Live.	Well. There's a lot. Far too much that i could be bothered to read it. But er...seemed intriguing..running off the end of the earth and being eaten must be an experience. __________________ No Win No Fee

01-24-2004, 10:41 AM	#3 (permalink)
Stillborn Tilted Location: Dingden, DE / Centennial, CO	DUDE- what were you on when you wrote this? ...'Cuz I'd like some o' that sheyat. __________________ Waiting... to be born again Wanting... the saddest kind of pain Waiting for the day when I will crawl away

01-24-2004, 08:45 PM	#4 (permalink)
orangeaidcow Tilted Location: Durham	Sad thing is, I was sober... sigh __________________ Killing is not an answer, its a solution.

02-04-2004, 06:13 AM	#5 (permalink)
SaltPork Everything's better with bacon Location: In your local grocer's freezer.	Maybe you need some acid to make you normal __________________ It was like that when I got here....I swear.

02-09-2004, 09:57 PM	#6 (permalink)
fallen_angel Psycho Location: Somewhere between the Havens and the Earth	ok i for one would like to say that that brightened my day very much. i dont know how you came up with that but its freakin amazing and im gonna email that to all of my friends if you dont mind. make a chain outta it. something about send this to so many people or you will be eaten by squirels or attacked by bill gates or wise men or something. youre freakin awesome. . . __________________ from the Havens I have fallen. . . to the earth as a mangled form. . . writhing in pain, my wings torn and bloodied. . . I have one purpose, only one goal. . . to find you and love you, for I am your. . . fallen angel

02-10-2004, 03:09 PM	#7 (permalink)
orangeaidcow Tilted Location: Durham	Go ahead, i'll only be pissed when they come back to me and i can be like i wrote that... and no one will believe me. heh __________________ Killing is not an answer, its a solution.

11-28-2005, 04:17 AM	#8 (permalink)
sentimental_arm Upright	association