orangeaidcow

These were a collection of old AIM profiles, eh most people like them.

i am writing this because
well
after you get used to the tickle me elmos stealing your beef
and the jello taking bites out of your leg things start to slow down
until gaint oranges fall from the ground and the sky open up and out
pops jay leno and he becomes presidant and then the brits take over
and OH GOD NO!!!!........

and it goes on
because then flesh eating rabbits consume the oranges that fell from
the ground and then all the hops and then all the drunkards died and
the surfers stoped smoking and then all of the nations expect for the
us and ger. and ireland sank into the ocean and then the cows started
to swim and controlled all the oceans and then all fish died and humans
had to eat grass and grew hooves and then we became kosher and the
jews ate us and the god was like cool and then he said some stuff
about light and then the tycoons bought out god and copyrighted him
and sold him to another universe

well jeff the REAL inventor of the cottin gin choose to go forth
and bring peace to the middle east, which as you all know, is
impossible, but jeff... was an idiot.
he thought his super intelligence could bring world peace, ( yea
i know your thinking that a cottin is nothing special and an modern
3 year old could make that but as we said jeff is and idiot.), but
anyway, he traveled through time to modern day isreal.
where he was shot.
but that's getting ahead of ourselves. first he tried to talk to a
woman and got shot.
well jeff is an idiot
stay tuned for the story of Jack.


well Jack is the first man to land on mars. he also was the first
man to hold his breath over 20 mintues. Well as you can guess he
passed out right after this. Well he thought he could do it again on
Mars. Well as he took his mask off the sudden cahnge in pressure
caused he Head to Explode. The Mars program was later cut from Fedral
Budget and then the Russians made the first space colony, made a
gaint lasar cannon and destoried the US. Later that year a guy named
God made a small lab experiment in which he made a samll universe
in his basement with the time accelarated so that in about 30 hours
it would be equal to our same time. as he did this he saw a gaint
lasar blow up part of his little earth as he called it. then he say
the same gun fire again and destory the whole world. seeing that
this could be the fate of his world he ran to a payphone but on his
way there the earth was destoried by the Germans


well about this time god was getting fed up with bill gates and
his having more money them him. so he went on to patent a new
miracle drug under the name 'dog man' and it made trillions. so he
then bought mircosoft and then burned it to the ground. while he
did this bill gates was planing his next, move to buy out the chruch
of god, and all those other religions, for a new state religion,
billism. well a it happen a man named john was writing a religion
so amazing that it would rule the world. well as bil bought out
religion john psoted his religon on the 'net'. well it cought like
wildfire. he became a prophet and took control of the world.
he had bill gates crucified and all the crowds cheered. then peace
reined on the earth for 60 years until johns to children took
control when he died

well then there was a period of prolonged peace.
then the robots came. they fed on old people so the government let
them stay, since they didn't want to pay for medicare. Then the
oranges returned. boy were they pissed. they was like oh no you
didn't to like jay leno and like what what to sam donaldson. then
the army tried to stop the oranges and robots when it was no longer
profitable to have them eat the old people. they lost. badly. well
then the snapple company stepped in and laid it down. they made more
orange-aid then ever and created a new 'robot' flavored drink and they
made trillions. then hillary clinton bought them. it was a sad day.
the people cowered as her winny liberal punbots wander the street. it
was up to jesse helms to save the day.


well if you think jesse could do it, well your an idoit like joe.
anyway along came a man named dan. he destoried the robots and brought
back peace his story will be told later without the robot part.
anyway then a man named jesus from mexico came along and challenged
Jim (john's son who fianlly took control of the world) as the leader
of all humanity and the controler of his religion. and so they fought.
the battle raged for amny days tearing apart families, political
parties, and friends, loved ones, and smaller religions, who were
fighting for governemt tax exempt status. well end the end jim
defeated jesus and the world again rejoiced in peace and love. but
soon all that ended as jim found out his life was for nought when
his lost brother Alex came forth and with his powers of true magic
took control of the world wiping from it all forms of pain and missery.
but will this last...

well as Alex ruled the world peace came and trived. the people
rejocied in his regin. the world seemed as though it could finally
rest. but along came a man whose powers in magic far surpassed an
man before him... alex knew he must fight with all his power to
defeat him.. well alex soon knew how close this battle would be.
so he called upon his hidden super power.
Squirrels. as the battle raged alex called forth the fury of the
squirrels..
but can alex still win

well around now the squrriels got feed up with being shot at by
70 year old ladies and stuff like that so they start force involing
themselves. they learned how to fly and become invisable at will.
well about now they became angery at people still harassing them.
so they attacked. well now earth was in trouble can the inventer
of doctor pepper can the earth

moo said the cow as kim ate off her plate that didn't quite fit into
the scene but hey that;s life and then god was like boom and then
kim took over the world and ruled until jesus was like hey you gotta
leave cause i'm the heir and kim left and all the world failed and
then kim was a monk and learned the secert of eternal life until a
chipmuck bet her in hand to hand combat

back in the golden age jason was able to build brick walls faster then anyone expect
for mister peabody. wel he decided to do a contest on day to see who was the fast.
jason or god. well jason won. so god gave him over the title of god. so jason made all the
poor people rich. but back in the old days the poor were as stupid. the world burned
two day s later. jason gave up and walk to china and was arrested by bush for treason

well around the time of Billus Gateus there was a hippie named steve jobs. he died and
the world rejoiced. then along came someone who was not a hippie. he was cooler then
the hippies so he was a better person, and cleaner. then he became prez and had lots of
chicks and was like the best prez. then an army of gnats ate him and the world rejoiced
expect for little billy who was sad.

well the crowd rejoiced and everyone sang expect for little billy. he didn't like the new
king and he figured out that maybe a little thing in grandfather closet could help. so
billy went and got his grandfather thing. he walk up to the new king and then pulled the
little umbrala and treaten the king. he was then shot down by seventy-two snipers and then
his whole family was dragged from there houses at midnight and beaten. billy was right for
not liking the king. and then the king nipped off and hada drink. and the crowds rejoiced.
then the squrriels came and their leader took the throne.

and the evil ol witch spanked little joey till he was crying. which was like three seconds.
so then little joey ran away with the witch's cats. he left them at the steps of an old
lady. but the cats ate her. so little joey ran and ran until he meet hagar. hagar ran
after him until little joey ran off the ends of the earth. he appeared on the other side
and was met by three wise men. they ate him. but before that little billy was running and
he tripped and lost his father watch. then he jumped up and down. and then he ran off
the end of the earth.