Curving_Edge

Hey everyone, these are some poems i wrote in 9th grade, just wanted to get some honest opinions of them, hopefully positive. I had to dredge them up from an old computer, and would like some feedback.

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Butterfly
Love is like a butterfly
It is the most beautiful thing
But just when you think you caught it
It flutters away out of your grasp
This time you are more quiet
Slower
You almost had it
You felt its wings beat against your face
But again it escapes
This time you cannot miss
You found a net
You swing in a closing arc
But somehow it gets away again
You turn away walking
Going home
giving up
but as you turn around to say goodbye
there is your friend
the butterfly
on your shoulder
love cannot be caught or captured
even with a net
but it can be given away
and when it is
it is the greatest gift you could give
for love is eternal
even if life is not.

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Chances
I love you
You don’t love me
But you still may give me
A chance
All I ask for is a chance
To prove myself
To prove I can change
I can, I promise
But please
Give me
A chance.


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The Feeling
Walking down the hall
You see the person
The one you have admired
For years on years
They approach you
You approach them
With a nervous glance
You look away
A day, a week, a month
Passes
Friendship blossoms
But still you feel
Those nervous feelings
Like you are on a bed of air
Or clouds
You get dizzy
They hold you
Close
Closer
Kiss you on the cheek
Everything is right
Nothing is
Or could be
Wrong
When they are with you
The warm feeling is there
Could it be love?


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What Would I do
If the sky should fall tomorrow
And today was my last day here
Have I said what I wanted
Have I done what I needed
Have I lived the life I wanted
What should I do
In my last hours of life
Tell her I love her
Tell my friends how much they mean to me
Tell God how I feel
For my last few hours
My most important
I would spend them with
My friends and family
They are my most important possessions
Friendship and love
If the sky should fall tomorrow
And today was my last day here
I would spend it with my friends
And family
They, to me, are dear
Today may be my last day here
But tomorrow will be my first day there.


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please be gentle, remember, 9th grade!!!!

J.R.V.A.

I thnk they are pretty good. Have you written any more? I like What would I do, you know you never know when your last day is going to be. Thanks for sharing

__________________
And as she plays,
her sweet song of laughter
floats through the air
and warms my heart

Curving_Edge

I did write more, but unfortunatly they have been lost in time

Pennington

I like 'em. They describe many kids freshmen year, with crushes that last forever and relationships that seem to be perfect. Its an outlook on life that I wish I could have back

J.R.V.A.

Time to write some more, don't you think?

__________________
And as she plays,
her sweet song of laughter
floats through the air
and warms my heart

fallen_angel

I really like them and for 9th grade they are very good. i like the way they flow, im not a good out loud reader but i would easily read these. . . i really liked the butterfly

__________________
from the Havens I have fallen. . . to the earth as a mangled form. . . writhing in pain, my wings torn and bloodied. . . I have one purpose, only one goal. . . to find you and love you, for I am your. . . fallen angel

Curving_Edge

wow, lots of compilments, thanks. I did write another one J.R.V.A. its somewhere in this thread, i think. look it up, its a decent read.