I feel compelled...

[stevie667]

The eloquent betrayal of the heart,
In a moment of elation,
And an eternity of shame,
Begot a deepest burial,
Such things as would be destroyed,
For not it were their beauty,
Their ever present smile,
Things of wonder and majestic grace,
Sweetest angels and golden eyes,
Gazes of purest white,
My soul cast down hence with,
Pray I wish you might forgive,
Sins committed,
Words spoken,
Foolishness,
Lost before I could begin,
Time without end of the essence of what could have been,
From the depths of my fibre,
I am sorry.

[Sultana]

This is very beautiful, full of heavenly imagery.

However, I got lost in the gap between these lines:

Originally Posted by stevie667

...Begot a deepest burial,
Such things as would be destroyed,
...

I do not wish to imply that the poen is lacking, only that my understanding is. Would you care to clarify?
Thank you
(From the depths of my fibre )

[stevie667]

Originally Posted by Sultana

Would you care to clarify?

Begot a deepest burial,
For such things as would be destroyed,


Ty for the praise, any better?

Edit: I didn't want to use for in that particular line because i used it directly under, if that still doesn't make things clearer, give me a poke.

[Sultana]

Yes, that makes better sense now.

Lovely, and thank you for sharing it!

BUT...I think I'll give you a poke anyways.

[stevie667]

..........

[cybersharp]

For the first poem, I thought the begining was..."elegant" while for the second I just thought that it was really really big!

[stevie667]

Lol, fair enough.

[stevie667]

..........

[stevie667]

Beseech thee not,
Greatest fury of the tempests of angels,
Cast into fires of heaven,
Blizzards of hell and misery
Tumults of smallest creatures,
Spires and fortitude belongst to thy soul,
Shadows of light and sullen voids,
Ring true nought the bells of grace
Nor the quorum of sorcery,
Whispers of divinity,
Cloaked in darkness,
Broken shards in bleakest silver,
Fragments lost from ages fallen,
Quiet rampage,
Seek solace,
Wings beat upon a hollow breeze,
Gabriel.

[stevie667]

Such not as pillars of light,
Quill and parchment asundered,
Sung the chorus of Gabriel not,
Michael spoken of wisdom and glory,
Closed ears of fools and demons,
Balberith seeks once his home,
Deeds repent into fire,
Rebellion cast down,
Command of the divine,
But in darkened hills,
Mischievous jungles and fields of sighs,
A throne of fallen times,
Commander of legions thrice,
Failed hope and deepest seas,
Thief from golden vaults,
Smite and shall be received,
Belief in smallest whispers,
Obedience and pride,
The fallen.

[Sultana]

Stevie667 (bwahaha! I only now caught that--number of the man-beast, eh?), I always enjoy reading and evaluating your work. I am intrigued by the themes of heavenly and hellish; sin, retribution, and forgiveness, etc.

Keep up the good fight, mister!

Edited to add: I compell thee.

I've always wanted to say that!

[stevie667]

Be gone from you,
Spite and fury,
Evil temptress,
I will have not shame upon my house,
Barons and anger,
Stare for all not true,
Horns of old sound,
Charge the cavalry,
Fire the cannon,
Raise the standard,
Cry the tempests.

Fleets and banners fly true upon the raven breeze,
Eagles upon nigh spread wings through clouds,
Enemies felled tremble,
Truth spoken beyond the grave,
Might and final battle,
Shall never the great crest slip below the scarlet waves,
Such as my sword cry to my heart,
Bring me my horse,
Ride on to victory,
Death awaits us through the valley,
Ride on to war.

[J.R.V.A.]

Nice Great lines....

[stevie667]

Cast forever lines of desperation,
Nought through grace and joy,
Might sweetest embrace save me,
Nor such beauty as to smile,
Beyond the stars and black sky,
Truth and hardship,
Celestial pawns and intricate play,
Imperial majesty of spring time rivers,
A shining steel,
Begun through ever yew,
Tallest understanding of green pastures,
Sullen voids,
Grace and joy.

[stevie667]

..........

[stevie667]

..........

[stevie667]

Alas poor pithy i might find thee,
Truth and vanquished demons,
Cannon fought through the valley,
Riders and horse,
Summons begun on earnest deeds,
Birds woven such as song,
Notes upon a silken breeze,
Stone and mortar give strength,
Maternal ground taketh,
Might we suffer blue skies and white snow,
Breath and sight of warmth,
If ever brought the fires,
Smithies and anvils,
Call forth the bells of dawn.

[stevie667]

Spoken as the wings of Icarus,
A pale crescent upon ashen seas,
Silent whispers raised through the din of storms,
Might Truth be heard,
Thundering rampage of golden hues,
Fires of heavens flaken snow,
Blizzards of molten rain,
Fell anguish as atlas forbade,
Soliloquies cast through clouds of light,
Waves seething upon shores cast in heathens,
Once hurt,
Twice death,
Thrice the hell of screamed quiet,
Anger and suffering with silver rivers,
Glass spirals glinting upon purest grace,
Elegant perfidy seen in blue skies,
Lost into the grasp of ancient times,
Laconic deeds lest he sigh,
Lamps of Valinor,
The curse of exiles,
Ages begin of new.

[stevie667]

I see you,
Darkness cloaked in light,
Quinary valour in spiral impurity,
Marcescent vines wound into sleek gems,
Synarchy through evil deeds,
Knights shining,
Plumes of platinum cloud,
Compediums lined amongst aged scholars,
Atimy cast over gods forgotten,
Spoken ayah,
White tigers and blizzards,
Tenson below the circling spires,
Venial folly,
A silken notandum,
Besing not your praise,
Flee before the dawn.

[stevie667]

..........

[stevie667]

Forever and a day,
The shadow of things and stories,
Lost amongst memories,
Thoughts of such times,
Forgotten,
Relinquished to a sullen blue,
Whispered from the sleek beyond,
My heart beats in my chest,
Thrice the breath escapes,
Thrice it returns,
Though maybe I wish not,
Maybe I wish for simpler ideas,
Grand designs left beside the way,
Free my soul from delusions that grasp it,
Tempests level their hold,
Rage fills my tips,
Cold grasps my eyes,
Sunk below the waves,
Might never I find the deep.

[stevie667]

As two but said,
Great pillars of ice set,
Amongst the stars and heavens gates,
Whence came two,
Guardians of the children,
Foe of the foul,
Vengeance and cold steel,
The courage of trees,
Calls of eagles,
Might truth prevail amongst fell times,
And such alas,
Nay was the life given so short,
As to leave such unbidden,
That to which lost,
Sunk beneath the clouds,
May be the wonderment of the new,
Awe of the old,
Saviour and leader,
Terror and calm,
Rise to arms and sing,
Night no longer the master of chains,
May ever love prosper amongst kindred souls,
Curses fall to ancient stone,
The sun shines brightly,
White banners in the breeze,
Chorus of undying ones,
March to the green lands,
March to the sound of the angels
Onwards and to the journeys end,
Rebirth unto the world.

[stevie667]

Pithy the fair fool who sits blindly,
Uncared as to his fealty given,
Those who sit upon their high dais,
Inside oaken halls basked in red flame,
Ever and a day shall pass,
Before great deeds be done again,
The nobility of old not whispered,
But called forth upon the morning breeze,
Listen to the wind,
It calls your name,
Fair heed to mountains white pay,
For they speak truth to those who care,
Black is the night and death upon the dawn,
Swear allegiance to the righteous,
Great kings and winged lords,
Those who carry the banner,
For the gods and green pastures,
The beat of the drum is upon us.


The below is refusing to post in a seperate post, so please bear with whilst i beat it into working...



This particular poem is inspired by Shesus' amazing pictures in this thread in tilted exhibition http://www.tfproject.org/tfp/showthread.php?t=107259 (nsfw), especially the first one. A muse if ever one be.


Ever may the chorus call,
Sweet music upon a soft breeze,
A warm sun over high hills,
Clouds of white and blue,
Great lakes set amongst chestnut orchids,
Valleys of rainbow rock sunk into the mind,
Ten great angels perched,
Harps strung for silver notes,
Radiance and beauty fair set,
Lost amongst thoughts the wise sit,
Minds astray with a heavenly Venus,
Life does while away,
In a silent moment and creeping smile.

[shesus]

*blush*

Glad I could inspire you. That is the first instance that I know of that I've inspired poetry. Thanks.

[stevie667]

Very much welcome.

[stevie667]

The barren dust covered planet bore before them, orbited by a single moon and a vast debris field, evidence of an epic battle.
“Entering the field now sir”
“Keep point beams up, make us a path lieutenant, all ahead slow” spoke the admiral, his fingers resting below his lip.
“Aye sir, all ahead slow”
Creeping forward, beams gently moved floating charred remains from the path of the victory, placing them around its corridor. All around carnage long since extinguished betrayed the loss of millions of lives, echoes of screams permeated the twisted hulks. All aboard felt the eerie feeling they were trespassing somewhere sacred, entering a history kept from them, for good reasons.

A vast colossus tumbled over its axis in front of the bow, the gaping hole in its stern half through which a squadron could fly gave the account of how something so large could be so left.
“All stop” said the admiral, standing from his chair and taking a step forwards. He paused for several seconds, taking scope of the sight before him, something stirred in the depths of his mind, though he knew not what.
As the once proud vessel began to rotate over, the beams of light from the systems sun began to appear from behind the planet, basking the graveyard in a vast golden hue, striking their way through the multitude of broken remains, and illuminating hundreds of burnt carcasses.

The officers and crewmen stared at the viewer, the scans had shown the extent of the debris upon exiting hyper speed, but to see it with their own eyes disturbed their minds most thoroughly.
Hundreds of ships, all holed, burnt, tumbling through orbit in unnatural stances, one could only guess at how vast a force it must have taken to end them. Three hulks, stood from the wreckage, dominating the screen. Even in their current state they sat thrice the size of the victory, a crowning glory in a once exquisite empire. The ships looked as if they were once identical, brothers in war. A vast central mass with wings sweeping from its midpoint to the stern at which the remains of the engines crouched. Upon its centre line a ridge ran from the stern to a hump, around which a purple line streaked itself. At the tip a vast single mass, no plating or other markings as on the rest. No doubt served that it was a ram that would have pierced many a flank given the chance. Only one hulk showed the unmistakable scars of impact, flowing down its right belly.

The admiral turned to face the comms station “Zoom in; there are markings on the prow, see if the translator can interpret”.
A cryptic language painted across the brow appeared in the upper left corner of the screen, with the translator working through all known languages flashing beneath, searching for a meaning.
Letters and symbols flashed over and over, imposing themselves over the dead language, before the image momentarily blurred and disassembled itself, before returning, bearing the scarred title;
‘HMS VICTORY’

[stevie667]

Words do leave a void into the mind,
Carved into the rock that sees my foundations true and strong,
Scribed with fleeting moments,
Initials,
Yours and mine,
As such I do wish that I could speak,
All that enters my thoughts,
My soul,
But kept with a tempest and chained lip,
Pay no attention to my muse,
For it is in your eyes I find her,
And without you I am lost,
The arms of Atlas would keep you safe,
Sweet fragrance upon a gentle breeze,
Forever Theia,
Dew of the sea.

[Chimera]

That is a very compelling piece....well concieved, and layered.

I like it very much

[stevie667]

Thank you kindly.