Girl of my dreams... advice seeking - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

kalisto_911 · 08-27-2005, 04:59 PM

This is a tad bit awkward for me but I have an important situation on my proverbial plate and would like some input. I am about to start enjoying college again and have become quite attached to a wonderful young woman whom I met last winter, we saw each other a few times over the summer, much more frequently lately, and I feel as if we were made for each other, I have never been in a serious relationship, or many non-serious ones!, with the opposite sex and I want this one to work out more than anything else in my world right now... I made my intentions clear to her about a week ago, and the fact that I waited until then was due to her already being involved in another relationship which finally ended about a week and a half ago, when I told her this she said that, and I expected this, she needs a break, that her previous relationship had lasted two years and she doesn't want to rush into a new one with disastrous consequences... after which we enjoyed our first and a deliciously long good night kiss.... so, as I am sure any of you can tell, I am on that emotional roller coaster that we always hear about the young generations suffering from, this girl is the most intelligent and amazing person that I have ever met and I know we are going to be spending a lot of time together this fall and I realize that I should just let events take their course and see where it goes but I just need to get some input since there are very few people in my life that I feel comfortable talking about this too and I am so inexperienced in relationships in the first place....

so if you have made it all the way to this line, thanks so much for letting me borrow some of your time and please feel free to contribute more of it in a thoughtful response....

tecoyah · 08-27-2005, 06:01 PM

You will likely feel this way....Many times in your life, for many people. Just let things happen and understand that they will ALL be the right woman.....some for longer than others....and if you are lucky, one will stay that way.

eMOTIONal20 · 08-27-2005, 07:45 PM

Take the relationship as it comes... it sounds like you believe this woman is one who is worth waiting for right now. Just simply respect that she needs her space to really let go of her last relationship. Be friends, get to know her more.

However, don't wait too long. You'll start to see warning signs if she's just using you as a rebound... or keeping you for the emotional support... or leading you on... then, my friend, unbuckle that seatbelt.

Good luck.

archpaladin · 08-29-2005, 04:05 PM

Having been in a few long relationships myself, this is the best advice I can give you:

Do two things extremely often: listen, and ask about stuff. The discussion that ensues will pay off greatly.

Other than that, all I have to say is "ditto".

soundmotor · 08-29-2005, 05:53 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by kalisto_911

so if you have made it all the way to this line, thanks so much for letting me borrow some of your time and please feel free to contribute more of it in a thoughtful response....

Well, you made your intentions known & she told you where she is at. Not much you can do to quicken things now. Unfortunately you put the ball in her court.

mr sticky · 08-30-2005, 12:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by tecoyah

You will likely feel this way....Many times in your life, for many people. Just let things happen and understand that they will ALL be the right woman.....some for longer than others....and if you are lucky, one will stay that way.

*yoda voice- Hmm...much wisdom he has. This... much thought I must give.

kalisto_911 · 08-30-2005, 05:09 PM

if I can read between your line, soundmotor, how could I have avoided putting it her court in the given situation...?

08-27-2005, 04:59 PM	#1 (permalink)
kalisto_911 Psycho Location: Dreams	Girl of my dreams... advice seeking This is a tad bit awkward for me but I have an important situation on my proverbial plate and would like some input. I am about to start enjoying college again and have become quite attached to a wonderful young woman whom I met last winter, we saw each other a few times over the summer, much more frequently lately, and I feel as if we were made for each other, I have never been in a serious relationship, or many non-serious ones!, with the opposite sex and I want this one to work out more than anything else in my world right now... I made my intentions clear to her about a week ago, and the fact that I waited until then was due to her already being involved in another relationship which finally ended about a week and a half ago, when I told her this she said that, and I expected this, she needs a break, that her previous relationship had lasted two years and she doesn't want to rush into a new one with disastrous consequences... after which we enjoyed our first and a deliciously long good night kiss.... so, as I am sure any of you can tell, I am on that emotional roller coaster that we always hear about the young generations suffering from, this girl is the most intelligent and amazing person that I have ever met and I know we are going to be spending a lot of time together this fall and I realize that I should just let events take their course and see where it goes but I just need to get some input since there are very few people in my life that I feel comfortable talking about this too and I am so inexperienced in relationships in the first place.... so if you have made it all the way to this line, thanks so much for letting me borrow some of your time and please feel free to contribute more of it in a thoughtful response.... __________________ I know not how I may seem to others, but to myself I am but a small child wandering upon the vast shores of knowledge, every now and then finding a small bright pebble to content myself with. [Plato]

08-27-2005, 06:01 PM	#2 (permalink)
tecoyah Illusionary	You will likely feel this way....Many times in your life, for many people. Just let things happen and understand that they will ALL be the right woman.....some for longer than others....and if you are lucky, one will stay that way. __________________ Holding onto anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned. - Buddha

08-27-2005, 07:45 PM	#3 (permalink)
eMOTIONal20 Crazy Location: Colorado Springs, Colorado	Take the relationship as it comes... it sounds like you believe this woman is one who is worth waiting for right now. Just simply respect that she needs her space to really let go of her last relationship. Be friends, get to know her more. However, don't wait too long. You'll start to see warning signs if she's just using you as a rebound... or keeping you for the emotional support... or leading you on... then, my friend, unbuckle that seatbelt. Good luck. __________________ "You must be the change you wish to see in the world." - Gandhi

08-29-2005, 04:05 PM	#4 (permalink)
archpaladin Crazy	Having been in a few long relationships myself, this is the best advice I can give you: Do two things extremely often: listen, and ask about stuff. The discussion that ensues will pay off greatly. Other than that, all I have to say is "ditto". __________________ This space not for rent.

08-30-2005, 05:09 PM	#7 (permalink)
kalisto_911 Psycho Location: Dreams	if I can read between your line, soundmotor, how could I have avoided putting it her court in the given situation...? __________________ I know not how I may seem to others, but to myself I am but a small child wandering upon the vast shores of knowledge, every now and then finding a small bright pebble to content myself with. [Plato]