Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community  

Go Back   Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community > The Academy > Tilted Life


 
 
LinkBack Thread Tools
Old 07-26-2005, 09:27 AM   #1 (permalink)
Upright
 
Doubts

Hey everyone,

Ok, I'm sure there are a million different posts like this, but, well, I'll be the first to admit I'm too damn lazy to go looking for them. With that said, let's get on with the question...

For those of you either married or engaged, was there ever a time when you had serious doubts if the relationship (pre-marriage/engagement) was going to last (esp. in the first year or so)?

Now I know that the best you all can do is offer advice, and it is ultimately up to me to decide what is right, and it'd certainly still be a few years off...but I'd like to think/know that I'm not the only one in this wonky boat...

Thanks in advance for any help

Daniel

P.S. I figured this belonged here, as it isn't exactly relating to a question of a sexual nature, and there seem to be similar style questions in here already. If not, feel free to let me know/move it, I won't be offended.

Last edited by djlakes; 07-26-2005 at 09:30 AM..
djlakes is offline  
Old 07-27-2005, 06:06 PM   #2 (permalink)
32 flavors and then some
 
Gilda's Avatar
 
Location: Out on a wire.
Of course there were times when I had doubts whether or not my relationship with Grace would last, especially during that first year. I'd had three different relationships that lasted longer than six months only to come to a rather messy end.

The early part of the relationship is for exploring your partner, trying them on for size to see how they fit your personality, your lifestyle, your hopes and fears and desires. That's what that first year or so is about, and you shouldn't be getting married or engaged until you get past that doubting/exploration phase.
__________________
I'm against ending blackness. I believe that everyone has a right to be black, it's a choice, and I support that.

~Steven Colbert
Gilda is offline  
Old 07-27-2005, 07:21 PM   #3 (permalink)
Filling the Void.
 
la petite moi's Avatar
 
Location: California
Yes, definitely. His family is SO religious and so irritating and hypocritical that I almost couldn't handle it. Of course, when I mentioned that I was about to break up with nwlinkvxd due to their extreme religion to his sister, she said I was doing a noble thing if I did break up with him. I still harbour a lot of resent.

Also, we spent about 75% of our relationship in a LDR- there were several times we almost cracked.

But now we're engaged and live together, and it's wonderful.
la petite moi is offline  
Old 07-27-2005, 09:19 PM   #4 (permalink)
Crazy
 
rival's Avatar
 
Location: Pittsburgh, Pa
Doubts? Of course. I've actually failed at getting over my doubts about several women in the past few years. (In fact, I'm failing that subject as we speak.) I think the important thing is to take a step back and look at the situation. Don't brush your fears or problems aside in the hope that further commitment will help your problems go away.
rival is offline  
Old 07-27-2005, 09:20 PM   #5 (permalink)
Crazy
 
Location: BC, Canada
I had serious doubts about a woman I lived with for 3 months (but had been going out with for 6 months before that). When it came time to decide "where this realtionship is going" I decided to leave. One of the best choices I've ever made in my life.

Not that I didn't like her. We had a lot of fun. I just didn't feel that love for her after the lust had worn off. It wouldn't have worked out because we didn't work well together, or at least I thought so. She wanted a house and husband. That's not what I wanted and I admitted it.
tiltedbc is offline  
Old 07-28-2005, 10:40 AM   #6 (permalink)
hoarding all the big girl panties since 2005
 
Sage's Avatar
 
Location: North side
I'm going with tiltedbc on this one- you really have to just take a step back and think about where you want to be, and then see if it matches up with where your SO wants to be. Marriage is HARD- you have to commuincate about EVERYTHING, and sometimes you get scared. About two weeks ago Martel and I had a fight (after a long string of fights, which is really unusual for us) and I was on the couch facing him and I swear, I was scared to death it was over. But you know what he said to me? He said "I'm never going to tell you to go away, no matter what happens." That's the attitude you HAVE to have in your relationship- you love them, they love you, and you're comitted to making it Work Out. So, take a breather- take a weekend for yourself, to be by yourself, turn off the cell phone, take some "me" time. Think long and hard about how you feel, then don't think about anything for a while- the Universe takes care of Her own, and the answer will come to you, if you let it!
__________________
Sage knows our mythic history, King Arthur's and Sir Caradoc's
She answers hard acrostics, has a pretty taste for paradox
She quotes in elegiacs all the crimes of Heliogabalus
In conics she can floor peculiarities parabolous
-C'hi
Sage is offline  
Old 07-30-2005, 10:18 PM   #7 (permalink)
Upright
 
I'd just like to thank everyone for the help and advice they've given. After reading all the comments, and a little thinking of my own, I think it is ultimately going to be a matter of my deciding where I'm headed in life (major, and soon thereafter career/location) before I can make any major assessments of where "we" are headed.

I guess that doubt/questioning is just a feeling I'm going to have to live with until after I've picked a major and stuck with it for a while...

Again, thanks for the help!
djlakes is offline  
 

Tags
doubts

Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On



All times are GMT -8. The time now is 04:03 PM.

Tilted Forum Project

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Optimization by vBSEO 3.6.0 PL2
© 2002-2012 Tilted Forum Project

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50 51 52 53 54 55 56 57 58 59 60 61 62 63 64 65 66 67 68 69 70 71 72 73 74 75 76 77 78 79 80 81 82 83 84 85 86 87 88 89 90 91 92 93 94 95 96 97 98 99 100 101 102 103 104 105 106 107 108 109 110 111 112 113 114 115 116 117 118 119 120 121 122 123 124 125 126 127 128 129 130 131 132 133 134 135 136 137 138 139 140 141 142 143 144 145 146 147 148 149 150 151 152 153 154 155 156 157 158 159 160 161 162 163 164 165 166 167 168 169 170 171 172 173 174 175 176 177 178 179 180 181 182 183 184 185 186 187 188 189 190 191 192 193 194 195 196 197 198 199 200 201 202 203 204 205 206 207 208 209 210 211 212 213 214 215 216 217 218 219 220 221 222 223 224 225 226 227 228 229 230 231 232 233 234 235 236 237 238 239 240 241 242 243 244 245 246 247 248 249 250 251 252 253 254 255 256 257 258 259 260 261 262 263 264 265 266 267 268 269 270 271 272 273 274 275 276 277 278 279 280 281 282 283 284 285 286 287 288 289 290 291 292 293 294 295 296 297 298 299 300 301 302 303 304 305 306 307 308 309 310 311 312 313 314 315 316 317 318 319 320 321 322 323 324 325 326 327 328 329 330 331 332 333 334 335 336 337 338 339 340 341 342 343 344 345 346 347 348 349 350 351 352 353 354 355 356 357 358 359 360