little_tippler

My boyfriend has smoked for many years, recently he was smoking up to 20 cigarettes a day (1 pack). Suddenly overnight he decided he was tired of the cough and just the general effect it had on his body and, went (semi) cold turkey. That was about a week ago. Each day he's had maybe 1-3 cigarettes, but now he says he feels the craving a lot more than in the beginning. It's not so much the addiction but also the fact that it's a ritual. Like when he's finished a job, he'll think "aaah now I can sit and have a ciggie". And it seems to happen a lot.

Has anyone got ideas or advice on what he could do to distract himself from this habit? Last week he was also ill with a cold and says at that time it was easy because he really didn't want one when he felt unwell. So we need a substitute/distraction for smoking or he might not make it. suggestions?

__________________
Whether we write or speak or do but look
We are ever unapparent. What we are
Cannot be transfused into word or book.
Our soul from us is infinitely far.
However much we give our thoughts the will
To be our soul and gesture it abroad,
Our hearts are incommunicable still.
In what we show ourselves we are ignored.
The abyss from soul to soul cannot be bridged
By any skill of thought or trick of seeming.
Unto our very selves we are abridged
When we would utter to our thought our being.
We are our dreams of ourselves, souls by gleams,
And each to each other dreams of others' dreams.

Fernando Pessoa, 1918

Carno

Hmmm, I know people who have chewed a piece of gum every time they need a cig, or put a pen/pencil to satisfy the "need something in my mouth" feeling..

Other than that, I don't know what would help.

raveneye

The first ten years are the hardest.



I've never smoked, but I've heard that cold turkey is the best way to go. He'll definitely need a substitute of some kind though, unless he has a will of steel.

Both my parents quit cold turkey after about 10 years of smoking. My father in law did the same, although he replaced cigarettes with food, and gained about 50 pounds within the next year.

Good luck.

ratbastid

I've been a non-smoker since March 1, 2000. So coming up on four years. I smoked as much as a pack a day at my peak, and had smoked for 10 years, starting when I was 16 years old.

Here's my advice: go TOTALLY cold turkey. He's dragging out the addiction and withdrawal by having 1-3 a day. There are two parts to the addiction, the physical and the emotional/habitual. Breaking the physical addiction is the easy part--just don't smoke. Within a week, the chemicals will have cleared from your body and the physical symptoms (lethargy, coughing, headache, lethargy, general pain, did I mention lethargy) will clear up.

The emotional/habitual part is harder. There are still times when it feels like my whole body is screaming out for a cigarette. He just needs to know that the first week is utter hell, the second week is seriously miserable, and the third week is a major bitch. After that, you've got some momentum built up and you can take anything. And it's definitely better than smoking.

One of the things I learned about myself in the process of smoking is just how automatic I am about things in my life. I was just a total robot when it came to smoking, and I could see that very clearly when I started deliberately breaking that habit. And I started to see how many other places in my life I live on auto-pilot. Breaking this habit really gave me a lot of power in the rest of my life too, because now I can see my automaticity kicking in and can interrupt it and actually choose my behavior.

little_tippler

having always been a non-smoker, it's very hard for me to relate to him! I didn't realise just how tough it is... my boyfriend is hungrier now too, I think he may be worried about weight gain, though he's such a lean and active guy that I doubt it will have that much effect on him.

I just wish I could offer him something to work on with his cravings...thanks for the advice, keep it coming!

__________________
Whether we write or speak or do but look
We are ever unapparent. What we are
Cannot be transfused into word or book.
Our soul from us is infinitely far.
However much we give our thoughts the will
To be our soul and gesture it abroad,
Our hearts are incommunicable still.
In what we show ourselves we are ignored.
The abyss from soul to soul cannot be bridged
By any skill of thought or trick of seeming.
Unto our very selves we are abridged
When we would utter to our thought our being.
We are our dreams of ourselves, souls by gleams,
And each to each other dreams of others' dreams.

Fernando Pessoa, 1918

Journeyman

If there's 5 minutes in his day where he's not actively doing something that totally engulfs his mind, that's 5 minutes that he's actively scheming to get a cigarette. At least, that's the way it is with me. Any days that I'm busy as hell with shit I like to do, I don't even get phased.

kutulu

I'd tell him to go get nicorette gum. I started using it on Feb 2 and I've been totally fine. It makes it so easy. If fact, it's been so easy so far that I use less than half of the recommened amount during the week and 1/4 of it on the weekends. If I knew it would be this easy I would have quit 7 years ago.

irseg

My recommendations for killing the urge for a smoke:

-Hang out with nonsmokers. They won't be lighting up and making you think about it, plus it's puts some pressure on you since nonsmokers generally don't like to be chatting with someone who's blowing smoke.

-Wait until you're sick to quit. When I have a cold, not only do I have zero desire to smoke, but just the thought of it makes me feel worse. Feeling that way would make it a lot easier to begin the quitting process.

-Stay busy. No idle time watching TV, no extended car trips by yourself, etc.

-If you don't take the cold turkey route, taper off by using the above tactics plus do things to make it more of a pain in the ass. For instance, make up a "no smoking" rule for your house. If you have to step outside to have a smoke, you'll probably be doing it a lot less because it's more of a pain in the ass.

Squishor

Well, speaking as someone who's quit smoking and several other habit-forming things as well, the one thing I can say is you have to actually quit to quit. As long as he's still smoking even one cigarette a day (or any amount), he's still smoking. He needs to just shut the door on it, because otherwise it still has that hook in him and the potential is there for him to smoke a little more, then a little more, and next thing you know it's back up to a pack a day. I went for years like that, literally, hating smoking but not being able to just really quit. I eventually was able to do it by using nicotine lozenges, although it helped that I was sufficiently motivated and ready.

Perhaps it would help him to develop some new routines for the times when he usually wants to smoke. He could substitute something like a special snack after meals instead of a cigarette, or even some little ritual like tying a piece of string around his finger or fiddling with a little rock in his hand until the urge passes. Anything, really.

Francis

o.k. this is how i quit 13 yrs ago after a 20+ yr habit of two pack plus a day of kools. i used a nicotine patch and smoked dope whenever i wanted a cigarette..gained 30 pounds but i quit smoking cigs..haha..strange, but true..

Painted

Ditto with the smoking pot. It helped me tons.

"Dude, where the fuck did that craving go?"

"I dunno man, check under the couch n' shit"

__________________
I came across a nice rack at the department store

skinnymofo

everyoine i know who quit, smoked weed instead but, technically its still smoking something semi habitually, its just easier to quit.
maybe im weird, but ive attempted to get addicted to tabacco and never succeeded even if i bought a pack and smoked the whole thing that night (drinking may have had something to do with me not getting adicted though as i would do both at the same time pretty much)
before you all think im completly crazy the point of getting addicted to cigs was for the purpose of proving to myself i had the will power to quit

thingstodo

I quit in 1989 after about 20 years. Here are some rambling thoughts on the subject.

- Smoking is like any other addiction, i.e., drugs.... so you need to deal with it as such. That means finding out through therapy what mental items supports smoking. It's diffferent for everyone. But addiction is fundamentally the same and therapy is a critical step no matter what anyone says.
- The smoker has to want to quit for themselves, not for outside reasons.
- Cold turkey is the only way to go. The physical addiction will be gone in 10-14 days. It's the mental part after this that is hard. I drank tons of water for the first few weeks to help flush out my body and provide a substitute that didn't pack on pounds. I carried around the 2-liter bottles and spent a lot of time peeing!!
- Another thing I did was purchase a Nordic Track. It gave me focus and I enjoyed moving to something where breathing felt good after a while. But I had to work into it slowly. If I did it again I would use a heart monitor and understand how to use it effectively with excercise.
- Relapses are common and it may take some practice to actually stop for the last time.
- My brother-in-law told my wife it would take me about two years to create a new set of habits and behavors. You use cigs to deal with all sorts of situations, like anger, boredom - especially boredom. Cigs become the one friend you can count on, which is why many people that travel smoke, or as soon as you get in a car by yourself, etc. Your personality actually changes as you learn to adapt to a different life. I think this - with therapy - may be the most important thing to remember. Two years is a long time.

Hope this helps. I sure like being smoke free. I also like being able to take a spin class and feel good. Or go to the Dr. and my blood pressure is right on. I guess just feeling healthy!

__________________
If you're wringing your hands you can't roll up your shirt sleeves.

Stangers have the best candy.

little_tippler

Thanks for all your advice! I hope this helps him out, he's still craving the cigs...

__________________
Whether we write or speak or do but look
We are ever unapparent. What we are
Cannot be transfused into word or book.
Our soul from us is infinitely far.
However much we give our thoughts the will
To be our soul and gesture it abroad,
Our hearts are incommunicable still.
In what we show ourselves we are ignored.
The abyss from soul to soul cannot be bridged
By any skill of thought or trick of seeming.
Unto our very selves we are abridged
When we would utter to our thought our being.
We are our dreams of ourselves, souls by gleams,
And each to each other dreams of others' dreams.

Fernando Pessoa, 1918

c172g

Here's my method, and it might be fun for the two of you.

I quit when my first kid was born, four years ago. I had tried lots of stuff before, and even quit for three years at one time, then had "just one". Anyway, I got on Zyban and it worked wonders. It is NOT a replacement for tobacco, it's an anti-depressant that they discovered also helps you forget about your cravings for nicotine. I started taking it for two weeks (the maximum alloted time before quit day, and I dragged it out) before I quit. By the time the two weeks were up I honest to god didn't have the cravings like I normally did. I smoked 50 smokes a day & toward the end of the two weeks I was probably down to 20. Then came quit day & I haven't had a problem since. I think the stuff just screws with your head, cause I could have cut the lawn with a pair of scissors I was so wired up while on that stuff. I think you stay on it about 8 weeks, two of which are you "ramp up" weeks.

So, side effects for me were a very high energy level, I also lost weight because I was running every day (I jogged before I quit, I just had a shitload more energy on the stuff). The best/worst side effect: sex. I wanted sex 24/7. Not good when your wife just had a baby. I thought about sex constantly, including when I was running, sleeping, etc. It was wild. Anyway, you two might wind up spending six weeks between the sheets if it works out, who knows. I tell everybody to get on Zyban before they quit. I smoked for 17 years (two & a half packs a day) and have been smoke free ever since.

Good luck!

caz

Just thought I'd throw my 2 cents... When I quit smoking I tried to substitute a cigar every now and then to stop my craving for cigarettes. Unfortunately that only lead to me wanting a cigarette afterward. I then tried the cold turkey method and substituted a dum-dum (sucker) for every cigarette that I craved. That helped me to kick the habit. Cold turkey is the best method... just gotta have the drive to follow through