Prince

We adopted a puppy about six months or so ago. She's 9 months now. We've been looking for a new home for her, because she didn't fit in with our older dog and our cats. She's a sweet, friendly pup, but just too rough with our other pets, and despite of obedience training and trying every trick in the book we could, we just couldn't make it work with her. She needs a home with a yard, to let her work off all the extensive energy she has, and bigger-sized dogs to play with.

We dropped her off at the local animal shelter yesterday. We just had no choice anymore. It's not a no-kill shelter, but they promised they would contact us before doing anything other than giving her to a new home. They said she's very adoptable, and will start looking for a new home tomorrow.

I kept it together all through my shift last night, but when I got home this morning and saw her toy, a tennis ball, alone in her crate, I just lost it.

I always thought of animal shelters as places where people abandon their animals when they no longer want them, love them, whatever. I never imagined having to take my own dog - one that I do love - and leave her in there.

I've had to put down a dog of mine before due to old age, and oddly enough, the emotions I am going through seem strangely similar to what I went through after that. I guess it's called loss.

I feel like taking a drink, although I'm not a heavy drinker, but when you work nights the only time of day you could possibly have a shot is in the morning, and somehow having a drink at 7 am seems out of place...

I know I haven't gone deep into the details as to why we ended up reaching the decision of having to find her a new home, and because of that it may seem as if we didn't even try to make things work with Tess. But we did... We just ran out of options, and the situation was more unfair to her than anyone else.

I dunno if this random monologue really has any point to it. Perhaps I shall try and fabricate one by asking if any of you have ever had to find a pet of yours a new home, and if so, what led up to that?

SiN

yes.

A few years ago, I had 3 cats - a mom, and her 2 boys.
(the mom we (me + ex) found wandering outside in the winter, apparently a stray, and shortly after we took her in, apparently pregnant. c-section, 2 of 6 kittens were alive, the 2 boys).
eventually me and bf broke up, I kept the cats, for a year or 2 I suppose.
It got to the point where I just couldn't deal with having, and cleaning up after, 3 cats. just didn't have the time at that time, to give them what they needed.
And, my childhood cat was getting very old, still living at my mom's house, and I wanted to spend her last days with her.
So, I brought the family of 3 to the Animal Humane Society. very heartbreaking thing to do. I do not know what their fate was, altho I suspect that, if they were adopted, they were likely split up. (I requested they be kept together if possible, the people @ the shelter said they would do their best, but I'm realistic..).

And, more recently, when I moved from the US to germany a couple years ago, I had to find a place for my 2 cats (the ones I adopted a few months after my childhood cat died).
There is no way in hell I could've given them to a shelter, so thank god my mom was kind enough to take them for me. she's taking very good care of them.

I feel your pain, Prince. It is a very hard thing to do. Just know in your heart you did the right thing for all involved people/creatures, and trust that the puppy you had to let go of will find a new home and be happy.

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*Nikki*

Did you try finding a home for her on your own first??

It really bothers me when people don't think decisions all the way through when it comes to adopting animals. I don't mean to sound harsh concerning you situation but I have seen numerous people do the exact same thing you did. To me it is odvious that a puppy will have a ton of energy and will want to play 24-7 and therefor is ill suited to be around older animals. Being that I am a vet tech and have been for the last four years I have seen so many animals fall into the wrong hands.

I am glad that you at least took her to a no kill shelter. I really hope that they follow through with their obligation to find her a good home.

ShaniFaye

(Nikki, sweetie, just to point out, his first line said they'd been trying to find a home)

Prince I know exactly what you are going thru. My long time cat had to be put to sleep with I was 8 months preggie with my daughter, she developed feline lukemia and developed a tumor that took up one of her lungs. We adopted to kittens shortly thereafter and kept them about 6 months before we had to take them to a shelter. Til the day I say I will swear as great as these cats were, there were insane. They were unmanageable, and I'd had cats ALL my life. They destroyed everything in their path. We were renting the house we lived in at the time and being new parents we didnt have the funds to get them fixed or declawed.

I'd never in my life had cats that destroyed so much property. Long story short, I couldnt find anyone that would take them so we had no alternative but the shelter.

I cried for weeks and felt SO guilty. Nothing I can say will help, but just know you're NOT a bad person for this and have faith that the puppy will find a good home with people that can deal with the responsibility.

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amonkie

My dog died suddenly about 3 years ago, and my parents felt so bad that they shoved a new puppy on me, thinking it would make me snap out of my grief. A week later, they realized that having a 12 week old puppy and a 10 year old dog meant the puppy needed someone to play with. A week later, we ended up getting two more puppies, both brothers. We now had three male puppies, and the first one I was given was a good 4 weeks older than the other two. I finally fell in love with Willie, only to have my parents tell me "they didn't think it was going to work out". There was just too much conflict with three males, especially since two were brothers and one was not. They called around without telling me, and I came home one day to find people waiting to take MY dog home. I was so upset with my parents because they had given me this dog that I had TOLD them I wasn't ready for, had the dog for 6 months and loved him, and now was having him torn away. Looking back now, they were probably saving a lot of potential future problems, but it was so hard to be dropping my sister off at her friend's house and to see MY dog sittin inside their house.

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Calling from deep in the heart, from where the eyes can't see and the ears can't hear, from where the mountain trails end and only love can go... ~~~ Three Rivers Hare Krishna

Prince

Yes. The shelter wasn't the option we wanted to resort to.

My wife is a veterinary technician, and I'm a nursing assistant. We've both had numerous cats and dogs, together and separately. However, neither of us is capable of changing a dog's, or any other animal's, personality.

I said it was not a no-kill shelter. Perhaps you should've read the whole thing.

Thanks anyway.

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*Nikki*

I think you misunderstood my reponse. Being that I am in the line of work that I am I have a bit of a chip on my shoulder when it comes to animals that people give up. I have seen hundreds of animals end up in the exact same situation that your dog did.

I am not saying you are capeable of changing a dogs personality. I am mearly noting that being a pet owner it is a lot like being a parent. I could never just take any animal I own to the shelter regardless of the circumstance. Just like I could never put any child of my up for adoption. I was in the situation once before I was a vet tech where my cat got pregnant and had four kittens. I did not want to keep all of the cats as this was above and beyond the number of cats I could care for. I found homes for two of them and ended up having to keep the other two even though having a total of four cats was to many for a small apt. To this day I still have those four cats. One of them is very destructive and one urinates on the carpet. I still have kept them all though because by being a pet owner I cannot change their personality BUT I can take responsibilty for my own actions.

Prince

Sticking hardheadedly with a situation that is making all participants miserable does not equal taking responsibility in my book.

Either way, I'd appreciate it if you didn't throw any more of that high horse attitude this way, since you have zero respect for how hard the decision I made was to come to, are not in a position to judge a situation where you are unaware of the circumstances to a degree where it matters, and have not bothered to reply to the question presented in the original post.

I can see that there was little else you could do.

With us, it wasn't that she was destructive to the apartment, puppies are supposed to tear into things. But she gave our oldest cat a limp and refused to stop pulling our older dog from her floppy ears. This ended up resulting in reoccuring bloody scabs on her ears, because the behaviour would not stop. She also would not respond to corrective guidance; I spoke with a dog behaviour specialist who, after meeting the dog several times, said she was at a loss and had not met such a puppy before. She said that with this type of behaviour problem she would have to surrender to recommending negative re-enforcement, which she normally always spoke against. Shock collar was one option, but my wife and I felt that this was an inhumane approach, especially since the puppy was definitely not aggressive. She simply needed to be in an environment where she could be among animals of her own size and "caliber", and preferably have access to a yard.

It just got to the point where our older dog, who is by nature submissive, would be afraid of this 9 months old puppy simply due to how rowdy the puppy was. Even if I pinned the dog down to the floor with my hands, she would still focus on nothing but the older dog, and the second I would let go she would run to her and grab one of her floppy ears in her mouth, with her teeth - and pull.

In the end, we had to keep her in her crate for the great majority of each day, letting her out to eat, to go outside and for walks, and play by herself for an hour or two in the evening after work.

Despite everything, I loved that dog. She was a puppy, she was not evil or mean, just not suited for the kind of environment she was brought into.

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lurkette

Aw, Prince, I sympathize.

When we were first married, we really wanted a dog. We were living in a tiny apartment, and I was a grad student. We figured we could make it work, so we went to the shelter and found a great puppy - a shy, adorable chocolate lab mix - made an appointment for the adoption, and bought a book on raising a good puppy. We went home and read the book, and it just became more and more evident that there was no way we could responsibly adopt this dog. We wouldn't have the time to train her properly and give her enough exercise so she wouldn't tear up our apartment. I called the shelter back and just bawled and bawled on their answering machine that we didn't think we could adopt the dog. I was just so sad, and so worried that nobody would adopt her and they'd put her down. She was adorable and I'm sure someone stepped up, and every time a saw a pretty chocolate lab on the street, I thought "maybe that's Our Puppy." But years later, having gotten a dog we love, I know we made the right choice. And you're making the right choice now.

One thing you might look into is local rescue organizations that foster dogs until they can find homes - check out www.petfinder.com, do a search for dogs similar to yours in your zip code, and see what comes up in terms of local pet rescue organizations. That might make your decision easier, and you might be able to rest better knowing that she won't be put down.

Best of luck

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"If ten million people believe a foolish thing, it is still a foolish thing."

- Anatole France

*Nikki*

Actually the cats are not the miserable ones. They are quite happy in fact at being able to do whatever it is they wish. I have been the one who has learned to adapt to THEIR behavior.

Also as far as judging goes anytime a matter is brought forth for discussion in a public forum you should be aware of the fact that not everyone is going to agree with your decision.

Being that you feel one way about this and I have had very bad experiences with these same issues I will not say another word in your thread and you can carry on as you wish.

ShaniFaye

Its very obvious that Prince is torn in two by what he had to do, its not like it was some cold hearted decision. What we want to do and what we have to do are sometimes two very different difficult things. Everyone has their opinion on what should be done with animals when it becomes impossible to keep them, but I think a little compassion in a situation such as this when you can tell how torn up he is, isnt out of order.

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I want the diabetic plan that comes with rollover carbs. I dont like the unused one expiring at midnite!!

flstf

If it is any consolation we have a cat and dog and got them both from animal shelters. There are probably many others out there who will as well. Hopefully someone will give your dog a good home.

Grancey

When people find out that they don't get along, then they can part ways. With an animal, the situation is much more serious. I feel for you Prince. Your decision was far from easy for you.

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frogza

It is amazing how easy it is to love something that makes you pick up its crap.

I had to get rid of my dog a few months ago, he's a german shepperd. He figured out how to jump the fence, I tried to build it up but he still got over it. Once the fence reached ten feet and he was still getting over I realized that I could either find another home for him or end up seeing him run over on a pretty busy street near my home.
I was lucky to find a good home for him, the people have two sheperds and three acres of land so he can run around and play with other dogs all day. Seeing him in the rear view mirror as I drove away was torture, I broke down right there. At least you did what you could to insure your dogs life and happiness.

darkhelmetGT

My family had a dog a while back, but we had to give it up due to my dad and brother having bad allergy problems.

Sadly, I think he was put to sleep. I was pretty young at the time, and probably had no idea what was really happening.

When I get my own house soon, one of the first things I'm doing is getting a dog of some sort. I've always liked dogs, but I think this makes it more of an emotional thing too.

ryfo

Our dog was a farm dog that was going to be put down because he played with the chickens til they fell apart. We live in the suburbs have a reasonable back yard so we took him in He is great and we ended up getting him a pet(smaller dog) to play with. If we had to choose,we would keep our older dog it sounds mean, but you cant live with conflict everyday its better to give them up thatn for the dog & u to be unhappy

thingstodo

Man I feel for you. Regardless of what others may have said here, I'm sure you took your decision very seriously. And you comment about the ball in the empty crate was just too much. Now I need a tissue....

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Sweetpea

Prince, you did the right thing by finding a good animal shelter that would take your puppy . . .

I volunteer at an animal shelter and i can tell you right now that young dogs are VERY adoptable and im sure they will have no problem finding a loving and wonderful home for your puppy that will be a better fit.

It's a difficult decision, but i think you made the right choice for your other pets and your puppy . . .

my heart goes out to you

Sweetpea

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morning dew

I've never owned a dog, but have always wanted to. I've decided when I know I am financially able to I will. However, the other day I was driving at night and saw a dog running accross a busy street. He was hit and no one stopped. I pulled over and picked him up. He was a white poodle. I called the shelter, but they wouldn't be open for me to bring him in until the next day. I brought him in to ask about what I should do and they said the owner has 30 days to find him and they could keep him or I could. I couldn't leave him there; he looked so sad. So I took him home. I fed and nurtured him and in a short time we became close. I knew I didn't have the resources to take him to a vet and even though I've never owned a dog I could tell he was sick. So I found someone who could afford to care for him until the 30 days were up and she said she'd find him a home. When I went to met her to give her the dog, I cried. It broke my heart to leave him. He tried to follow me and looked so so sad. I cried all day. She called me and said she took him to a vet and he was severely dehydrated and needed surgery for a cut he had under his leg. I knew I had made the right choice by giving him to someone who could better care for him; but my heart was still broken. I miss him so much. If he wasn't sick I could take care of him, because food isn't expensive. I could have afforded that; I just couldn't afford taking him to a vet. I have so much love to give him, but that's all I could offer - Prince, I understand how you feel and I hope in time you're pain will heal. Take care.

Craven Morehead

you're a very kind person morning dew, someday you'll be a wonderful pet owner.