My ex-gf screwed me over... - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

Enka · 10-16-2004, 06:09 PM

My gf was going to get a house, and she needed to buy appliances. As a part of the deal with the house, the seller was going to write her a check for $2500 for appliances and other things she needed for the house. The seller couldnt get her the money for a week longer than expected, and she had already ordered the appliances, so she wanted to get a credit card from Lowes to put the stuff on there, until he paid her the next week. She comes into my job asking me to apply for the lowes card because she couldnt get one cuz of her shitty credit. She explained it all to me, and it sounded fine. She would have the card paid off the next week.

2 months later i'm checking the mail and I see a bill from Lowes. I'm thinking 'this is weird, the account should be completely paid off by now...

So i look at the bill, and its for about $2600!!! The account limit was $2500!! She ended up using the $2500 the seller gave her to buy stuff for the house, and use some for closing fees for the house. I was so PISSED. I confronted her and she tried to make it seem like she wasnt doing anything wrong by TRICKING ME. Then she started crying about how she cant help but to be bad with money, because her parents were the same way. I dont buy that BS.

2 months later after shes apparently been making payments on the lowes card...I check the bill today and the new balance is $2800!!! She has missed 2 months worth of payments, and interest is racking up BIG TIME!

Keep in mind that her name isnt even on the card! So now shes fucking over my credit by not paying on the card. I feel like im stuck between a rock and a hard place. I feel like theres nothing I can do about it. I cant trust her anymore. Does anyone here know if there is any way i can get this card transferred into her name? I know it sounds impossible, but you never know.

When I applied for the lowes card, I did it at my job, and she took the application to lowes and got everything she needed, but I NEVER actually signed anything BESIDES the application. She might have signed for me, but shes not even on the account. Does anyone think this might change things? Bah, i'm extremely frustrated/pissed right now.

Flyguy · 10-16-2004, 06:12 PM

Small claims court dude. Though I don't even know if that'll do any good since her name isn't on anything.

This kind of thing only happens to a guy once. It happened to me too. It wasn't over $2800 but I was in the same situation. Make her and I mean MAKE her pay you somehow. Talk to a lawyer.

bitrunner · 10-16-2004, 06:47 PM

I'd start making the payments now, your 60 days late and thats going to hurt your credit. If you can get the money out of her great, but in the long run paying off the 2800 bucks will be much cheaper then screwing your credit.

And unless you she decides to pay you back I think your screwed. But maybe you can get the appliances from her, selling them used won't get all your money back, but some is better than none..

Grondar · 10-18-2004, 03:04 PM

Yea, if anything, the appliances and other things she bought are yours, seeing that it's your card and in your name.

I would think if you went to court, it would be hard for the judge to find the things belong to her.. Especially since everything is in your name. At least, I would think that's how it works?

Clark · 10-19-2004, 04:24 AM

It looks like it cost you $2800 to find out how much your GF respect you and how much you can trust her. I would pay off the card and move on. If you are planning on staying with this girl don’t let this slide if you let her get over on you with this it will happen again

FatherTed · 10-19-2004, 04:27 AM

As above, she obviously does not respect you and is happy to work you over - no effort to sort this out at all

I dont think the small claims court will work uinless you have something in writing that she would pay you back for the goods, but you should try to reclaim the goods back yourself and only give them back when she pays you for them.
No a nice situation at all.

daking · 10-19-2004, 04:39 AM

If you got keys to her house go take those appliances.

Bill O'Rights · 10-19-2004, 05:25 AM

I am assuming that there are statements that reflect exactly what was purchased with that card? ie exact descriptions of what appliances, etc. that she bought. The card is in your name, you own them, inform her of your intent to "re-claim" your property. Failing that...Small Claims Court, is an option. In any event, I'd say that it's safe to say that this has been an expensive lesson.

By the way, if her credit was/is so "shitty", how did she qualify to purchase a home?

aliali · 10-20-2004, 02:38 PM

Is she not now an ex? You will have no luck transferring the debt (unless you can prove that the charges were never authorized). You should close the account and will probably have to make the payments yourself. There is no likely remedy that will work out better if the interest keeps going up. If you do end up filing a small claims action, you will not get docked for failing to "mitigate" your damages if you make sure the interest doesn't get out of control.

Unless the relationship calls for other action, filing a small claims action is much better than trying to get the stuff. The stuff isn't worth the debt. Give her a deadline to meet your offer to settle the matter (for less than 2,800) and do not waiver from either. Make sure she knows it will cost her more if she does not resolve the matter before you file. File the claim the day your deadline is not met. Most courts will allow you to file the claim for a small fee, will help you with the paperwork and obtain service for almost nothing. The process is fairly simple and there appear to be no facts upon which she can win. You can also get help collecting the debt after judgment. Small claims court can really work in this type of situation.

If you aren't willing to file a claim now, but may want to in the future, do not, ever, never, never, ever give her anything that she can use againt you in the future to prove in anyway that you forgave this debt or that she paid for something else (trip, car payment, insurance, 23 dinners, etc.) in exchange.

Locobot · 10-21-2004, 08:33 AM

Pimp her out!!! Tell her you're going to start sending johns over with a rate of $20 per blow job, $30 per lay. Charge twice that and turn a nice profit

abel · 10-27-2004, 10:22 AM

like someone mentioned earlier... this only happens ONCE.

NoSoup · 10-29-2004, 01:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bill O'Rights

By the way, if her credit was/is so "shitty", how did she qualify to purchase a home?

There are many B/C lenders out there, and some of the things that we can do are amazing. It is possible for me to finance the purchase of a home the day after a client's bankruptcy discharges...

High Loan to Value Loans when the Credit scores are in the 500's are not that uncommon either...

Cynthetiq · 10-29-2004, 01:44 PM

cut your losses...and move on. Learn for this mistake for the future...

billege · 10-29-2004, 10:54 PM

Wow. That was an amazingly, shockingly, stunningly, completely, stupid thing to do.
But, it's likely you know that.

Had you made her sign even a shitty handwritten, witnessed, contract outlining what you decided, you'd have hope. But you don't, really.

First thing's first, close the card to prevent all future charges. Make the payments that are late, that only affects your credit, fix it yesterday.

You can't get shit put into her name. You got a card, and let her use it. No one at the credit card company is going to care what you two had arranged.

You can now sue her. That's it. It's going to get ugly real fast. Read all you can on the web about your state's small claims, and property law, if you can find anything out there.

Sue her, sue her, sue her. You do have the charges on your card, you do have proof the property is in her home. Now it's your word against hers. Good luck.

Don't ever, ever, ever ever, ever, do something like this again.

Good luck.
Poor guy...

JustDisGuy · 11-03-2004, 08:50 PM

My two bits - don't warn her that you're coming for the appliances. Show up at the door with a moving van and the sheriff, along with proof of ownership documentation and just take them. If you warn her, you may regret it.

Oh, and definitely close the account to further charges and start paying it off, as everyone else has advised. You should never co-sign or 'loan' your credit to anyone unless you're prepared to pay the whole thing off. Some lessons are expensive.

Cynthetiq · 11-03-2004, 08:53 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JustDisGuy

My two bits - don't warn her that you're coming for the appliances. Show up at the door with a moving van and the sheriff, along with proof of ownership documentation and just take them. If you warn her, you may regret it.

Oh, and definitely close the account to further charges and start paying it off, as everyone else has advised. You should never co-sign or 'loan' your credit to anyone unless you're prepared to pay the whole thing off. Some lessons are expensive.

having been a repo man in a previous life... that is correct.

do not announce if you are going to retrieve any of the items. Tell her you'll pick them up on Sunday the 10th, and then show up on Friday the 2nd.

Trust me, it works EVERY time.

Enka · 11-04-2004, 10:51 PM

Wow so many replies!

I think ive come to the conclusion that I'm just kinda screwed, and I'm just gonna keep being a hardass to her about making her payments on time. The reason I cant sue her or take the appliances is because we live in the same house! I'd move out, but I dont really have anywhere to go cuz I'm not sure how much longer I'll be in this area, so I can sign any leases right now. Bah!

Trust me, this will NOT happen again!

I'm trying to pimp her as much as possible. All i've gotten so far is free food and nookie. Hmm.

Cynthetiq · 11-05-2004, 05:00 AM

lving in the same house? like as in roomies????

I'm a little lost on the whole thing....

then maybe she needs to sell some of those items to recover some of the money back faster or to at least have some reserve money for you to pay the minimum if she ever decides to not pay it for a month for whatever reason.

Unright · 11-05-2004, 05:39 AM

First, take the card away from her.

Second... You *live* with her! Return the appliances to get the money back (if possible) and demand that she give you part of her paycheck every week and use it towards paying for the card.

Third... Quit being walked all over by your (ex-?)girlfriend.

WillyPete · 11-05-2004, 06:18 AM

I'd go talk to Lowes. I'm sure they have a fraud department.

Explain the sitch and ask them if you can return any of the items and remove them from the account.

With them being in the same house, you're a bit screwed.

avhg1 · 11-05-2004, 12:22 PM

I don't think Lowes is going to care who bought the stuff if both names are on the account. You are pretty much screwed and should learn a hard lesson from this one. It stinks, but you should never loan or sign for money or credit for someone unless you want to pay for it all yourself.

SSgtQ · 11-19-2004, 07:08 PM

yes, I would agree with the advice on to file a claim in court. With the credit card you can prove that she owes you. Reguardless...should be... lesseon learned.

viper12047 · 11-20-2004, 04:42 AM

Contact Lowes and Tell them that you didn't sign any application and make them prove it was you that signed the application. Maybe you could go that way.

jon_264 · 11-20-2004, 06:21 AM

I'd wait for her to go out and then change the locks! Then don't let her back in till she signs something to say she'll pay the money back!

Cynthetiq · 11-20-2004, 10:49 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jon_264

I'd wait for her to go out and then change the locks! Then don't let her back in till she signs something to say she'll pay the money back!

that won't stand up in court because she was coerced or under duress while signing the contract. Not to mention if she's been living there for some time, you could be in some real trouble since there are legalaities regarding someone changing locks on a residence in retaliation for outstanding debts.

10-16-2004, 06:09 PM	#1 (permalink)
Enka Tilted	My ex-gf screwed me over... My gf was going to get a house, and she needed to buy appliances. As a part of the deal with the house, the seller was going to write her a check for $2500 for appliances and other things she needed for the house. The seller couldnt get her the money for a week longer than expected, and she had already ordered the appliances, so she wanted to get a credit card from Lowes to put the stuff on there, until he paid her the next week. She comes into my job asking me to apply for the lowes card because she couldnt get one cuz of her shitty credit. She explained it all to me, and it sounded fine. She would have the card paid off the next week. 2 months later i'm checking the mail and I see a bill from Lowes. I'm thinking 'this is weird, the account should be completely paid off by now... So i look at the bill, and its for about $2600!!! The account limit was $2500!! She ended up using the $2500 the seller gave her to buy stuff for the house, and use some for closing fees for the house. I was so PISSED. I confronted her and she tried to make it seem like she wasnt doing anything wrong by TRICKING ME. Then she started crying about how she cant help but to be bad with money, because her parents were the same way. I dont buy that BS. 2 months later after shes apparently been making payments on the lowes card...I check the bill today and the new balance is $2800!!! She has missed 2 months worth of payments, and interest is racking up BIG TIME! Keep in mind that her name isnt even on the card! So now shes fucking over my credit by not paying on the card. I feel like im stuck between a rock and a hard place. I feel like theres nothing I can do about it. I cant trust her anymore. Does anyone here know if there is any way i can get this card transferred into her name? I know it sounds impossible, but you never know. When I applied for the lowes card, I did it at my job, and she took the application to lowes and got everything she needed, but I NEVER actually signed anything BESIDES the application. She might have signed for me, but shes not even on the account. Does anyone think this might change things? Bah, i'm extremely frustrated/pissed right now.

10-18-2004, 03:04 PM	#4 (permalink)
Grondar Junkie Location: Pa, USA	Yea, if anything, the appliances and other things she bought are yours, seeing that it's your card and in your name. I would think if you went to court, it would be hard for the judge to find the things belong to her.. Especially since everything is in your name. At least, I would think that's how it works? __________________ "Yes, I rather like this God fellow. He's very theatrical, you know, a pestilence here, a plague there. Omnipotence. Gotta get me some of that." -Stewie

10-19-2004, 05:25 AM	#8 (permalink)
Bill O'Rights will always be an Alyson Hanniganite Location: In the dust of the archives	I am assuming that there are statements that reflect exactly what was purchased with that card? ie exact descriptions of what appliances, etc. that she bought. The card is in your name, you own them, inform her of your intent to "re-claim" your property. Failing that...Small Claims Court, is an option. In any event, I'd say that it's safe to say that this has been an expensive lesson. By the way, if her credit was/is so "shitty", how did she qualify to purchase a home? __________________ "I distrust those people who know so well what God wants them to do because I notice it always coincides with their own desires." - Susan B. Anthony "Hedonism with rules isn't hedonism at all, it's the Republican party." - JumpinJesus It is indisputable that true beauty lies within...but a nice rack sure doesn't hurt.

10-27-2004, 10:22 AM	#11 (permalink)
abel Crazy Location: Houston, Texas	like someone mentioned earlier... this only happens ONCE. __________________ Abel www.LifeAtF8.com

10-29-2004, 01:44 PM	#13 (permalink)
Cynthetiq Tilted Cat Head Administrator Location: Manhattan, NY	cut your losses...and move on. Learn for this mistake for the future... __________________ I don't care if you are black, white, purple, green, Chinese, Japanese, Korean, hippie, cop, bum, admin, user, English, Irish, French, Catholic, Protestant, Jewish, Buddhist, Muslim, indian, cowboy, tall, short, fat, skinny, emo, punk, mod, rocker, straight, gay, lesbian, jock, nerd, geek, Democrat, Republican, Libertarian, Independent, driver, pedestrian, or bicyclist, either you're an asshole or you're not. What's the best nation in the world? DO-NATION!

10-16-2004, 06:12 PM	#2 (permalink)
Flyguy Banned Location: Swooping down on you from above....	Small claims court dude. Though I don't even know if that'll do any good since her name isn't on anything. This kind of thing only happens to a guy once. It happened to me too. It wasn't over $2800 but I was in the same situation. Make her and I mean MAKE her pay you somehow. Talk to a lawyer.

10-16-2004, 06:47 PM	#3 (permalink)
bitrunner Crazy Location: Ohio	I'd start making the payments now, your 60 days late and thats going to hurt your credit. If you can get the money out of her great, but in the long run paying off the 2800 bucks will be much cheaper then screwing your credit. And unless you she decides to pay you back I think your screwed. But maybe you can get the appliances from her, selling them used won't get all your money back, but some is better than none..

10-19-2004, 04:24 AM	#5 (permalink)
Clark Crazy Location: Pittsburgh	It looks like it cost you $2800 to find out how much your GF respect you and how much you can trust her. I would pay off the card and move on. If you are planning on staying with this girl don’t let this slide if you let her get over on you with this it will happen again

10-19-2004, 04:27 AM	#6 (permalink)
FatherTed Crazy Location: Ireland	As above, she obviously does not respect you and is happy to work you over - no effort to sort this out at all I dont think the small claims court will work uinless you have something in writing that she would pay you back for the goods, but you should try to reclaim the goods back yourself and only give them back when she pays you for them. No a nice situation at all.

10-19-2004, 04:39 AM	#7 (permalink)
daking Tilted	If you got keys to her house go take those appliances.

10-20-2004, 02:38 PM	#9 (permalink)
aliali Insane Location: Missouri	Is she not now an ex? You will have no luck transferring the debt (unless you can prove that the charges were never authorized). You should close the account and will probably have to make the payments yourself. There is no likely remedy that will work out better if the interest keeps going up. If you do end up filing a small claims action, you will not get docked for failing to "mitigate" your damages if you make sure the interest doesn't get out of control. Unless the relationship calls for other action, filing a small claims action is much better than trying to get the stuff. The stuff isn't worth the debt. Give her a deadline to meet your offer to settle the matter (for less than 2,800) and do not waiver from either. Make sure she knows it will cost her more if she does not resolve the matter before you file. File the claim the day your deadline is not met. Most courts will allow you to file the claim for a small fee, will help you with the paperwork and obtain service for almost nothing. The process is fairly simple and there appear to be no facts upon which she can win. You can also get help collecting the debt after judgment. Small claims court can really work in this type of situation. If you aren't willing to file a claim now, but may want to in the future, do not, ever, never, never, ever give her anything that she can use againt you in the future to prove in anyway that you forgave this debt or that she paid for something else (trip, car payment, insurance, 23 dinners, etc.) in exchange.

10-21-2004, 08:33 AM	#10 (permalink)
Locobot is awesome!	Pimp her out!!! Tell her you're going to start sending johns over with a rate of $20 per blow job, $30 per lay. Charge twice that and turn a nice profit

10-29-2004, 10:54 PM	#14 (permalink)
billege Watcher Location: Ohio	Wow. That was an amazingly, shockingly, stunningly, completely, stupid thing to do. But, it's likely you know that. Had you made her sign even a shitty handwritten, witnessed, contract outlining what you decided, you'd have hope. But you don't, really. First thing's first, close the card to prevent all future charges. Make the payments that are late, that only affects your credit, fix it yesterday. You can't get shit put into her name. You got a card, and let her use it. No one at the credit card company is going to care what you two had arranged. You can now sue her. That's it. It's going to get ugly real fast. Read all you can on the web about your state's small claims, and property law, if you can find anything out there. Sue her, sue her, sue her. You do have the charges on your card, you do have proof the property is in her home. Now it's your word against hers. Good luck. Don't ever, ever, ever ever, ever, do something like this again. Good luck. Poor guy... __________________ I can sum up the clash of religion in one sentence: "My Invisible Friend is better than your Invisible Friend."

11-03-2004, 08:50 PM	#15 (permalink)
JustDisGuy Insane Location: Saskatchewan	My two bits - don't warn her that you're coming for the appliances. Show up at the door with a moving van and the sheriff, along with proof of ownership documentation and just take them. If you warn her, you may regret it. Oh, and definitely close the account to further charges and start paying it off, as everyone else has advised. You should never co-sign or 'loan' your credit to anyone unless you're prepared to pay the whole thing off. Some lessons are expensive. __________________ "Act as if the future of the universe depends on what you do, while laughing at yourself for thinking that your actions make any difference."

11-04-2004, 10:51 PM	#17 (permalink)
Enka Tilted	Wow so many replies! I think ive come to the conclusion that I'm just kinda screwed, and I'm just gonna keep being a hardass to her about making her payments on time. The reason I cant sue her or take the appliances is because we live in the same house! I'd move out, but I dont really have anywhere to go cuz I'm not sure how much longer I'll be in this area, so I can sign any leases right now. Bah! Trust me, this will NOT happen again! I'm trying to pimp her as much as possible. All i've gotten so far is free food and nookie. Hmm.

11-05-2004, 05:00 AM	#18 (permalink)
Cynthetiq Tilted Cat Head Administrator Location: Manhattan, NY	lving in the same house? like as in roomies???? I'm a little lost on the whole thing.... then maybe she needs to sell some of those items to recover some of the money back faster or to at least have some reserve money for you to pay the minimum if she ever decides to not pay it for a month for whatever reason. __________________ I don't care if you are black, white, purple, green, Chinese, Japanese, Korean, hippie, cop, bum, admin, user, English, Irish, French, Catholic, Protestant, Jewish, Buddhist, Muslim, indian, cowboy, tall, short, fat, skinny, emo, punk, mod, rocker, straight, gay, lesbian, jock, nerd, geek, Democrat, Republican, Libertarian, Independent, driver, pedestrian, or bicyclist, either you're an asshole or you're not. What's the best nation in the world? DO-NATION! Last edited by Cynthetiq; 11-05-2004 at 05:03 AM..

11-05-2004, 05:39 AM	#19 (permalink)
Unright Crazy Location: Florida	First, take the card away from her. Second... You live with her! Return the appliances to get the money back (if possible) and demand that she give you part of her paycheck every week and use it towards paying for the card. Third... Quit being walked all over by your (ex-?)girlfriend.

11-05-2004, 06:18 AM	#20 (permalink)
WillyPete Addict	I'd go talk to Lowes. I'm sure they have a fraud department. Explain the sitch and ask them if you can return any of the items and remove them from the account. With them being in the same house, you're a bit screwed.

11-05-2004, 12:22 PM	#21 (permalink)
avhg1 Insane Location: MD	I don't think Lowes is going to care who bought the stuff if both names are on the account. You are pretty much screwed and should learn a hard lesson from this one. It stinks, but you should never loan or sign for money or credit for someone unless you want to pay for it all yourself. __________________ I shake the devil's hand daily... I'd do it hourly, but my hand gets tired.

11-19-2004, 07:08 PM	#22 (permalink)
SSgtQ Upright	yes, I would agree with the advice on to file a claim in court. With the credit card you can prove that she owes you. Reguardless...should be... lesseon learned.

11-20-2004, 04:42 AM	#23 (permalink)
viper12047 Upright	Contact Lowes and Tell them that you didn't sign any application and make them prove it was you that signed the application. Maybe you could go that way.

11-20-2004, 06:21 AM	#24 (permalink)
jon_264 Tilted	I'd wait for her to go out and then change the locks! Then don't let her back in till she signs something to say she'll pay the money back!