CoachAlan

Just wondering, how many green lights did you make on your way home today?

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I see so many posts on this forum about how shitty life is and how nothing's going right and so on, that I now feel it's time for a little perspective.

Imagine looking at a plain, clean white wall. Near the center of the wall is a fly. Immediately our attention is focused on the fly. We say, "damn, there's a fly on that wall." We don't notice that 99% of the wall is perfectly clean and fly-free. We notice the fly, because it stands out.

I think that's the way most of us look at life, too. 99% of our day goes smoothly, and so when a few things go awry, we tend to focus on those things instead of all the positive things. When we have a toothache, we know that not having a toothache would be bliss. Yet today, do you appreciate your non-toothache-ness. For someone with asthma, the simple ability to breate easy is a blessing. Yet as you sit reading this, do you appreciate your breathing, or do you complain of your squeaky chair?

To reiterate, I'm convinced that 99% (or more) of what happens to us every day is good. We focus on the negative because it stands out. But it's possible to train ourselves to start appreciating the positive; to start appreciating how wonderful life really is. So I ask again...

How many green lights did you make on your way home today?

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"If I cannot smoke cigars in heaven, I shall not go!"
- Mark Twain

asaris

I bike to work...

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"Die Deutschen meinen, daß die Kraft sich in Härte und Grausamkeit offenbaren müsse, sie unterwerfen sich dann gerne und mit Bewunderung:[...]. Daß es Kraft giebt in der Milde und Stille, das glauben sie nicht leicht."

"The Germans believe that power must reveal itself in hardness and cruelty and then submit themselves gladly and with admiration[...]. They do not believe readily that there is power in meekness and calm."

-- Friedrich Nietzsche

Jimellow

I think I might have hit one.. 5 or 6 red lights though, and two spots were traffic was backed up like crazy.

The highway segment is always fun though.

Glory's Sun

very interesting thread and idea Coach. I for one fall into that pitfall of only focusing on the negative things that happen during my day. Thanks to this thread I'll try and focus on the good things that happen; whether they are big or small.

usrbinboy

I usually get 2 or 3 green out of 8 lights. But I also use the highway, so no lights for a while.

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I'm somebody's fetish.

MrFlux

Well, they all go green eventually so... all of them.

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flux (n.)
Medicine. The discharge of large quantities of fluid material from the body, especially the discharge of watery feces from the intestines.

asudevil83

i've got my driving shit timed pretty good. from school home i drive about 22 miles each way, about a third of which is freeway. i'll hit probably 9 of 12 green lights then hit the freeway. the last third of my drive is the easiest. i'll hit maybe one red light out of 20.

CoachAlan

Now you're thinking. Thanks, Mr. Flux and thanks even more guccilvr for getting what I was trying to put across in this thread.

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"If I cannot smoke cigars in heaven, I shall not go!"
- Mark Twain

thingstodo

I sure think life is what you make it. The only real choice you have in life is how you chose to think. Attitude.... averyone has one, it's just that some are good and some, well....

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If you're wringing your hands you can't roll up your shirt sleeves.

Stangers have the best candy.

cxnaj20

Yesterday I hit almost all greens, like 7 or 8.

roboshark

Mostly, I run the reds.

But seriously, how can you concentrate on the good things, when it's the bad things that bother you? Of course a fly on the wall is gonna bother me: the whole point is that the wall has to be perfect. The fly spoils it. It's the same with life.

There's too many things that didn't happen to me today: how can I be happy about that? I don't have a tooth ache. I didn't get raped. I don't have cancer. My car didn't break down? It's impossible to concentrate on the "good" things, it's too much. You only worry about the things that break your perfect pattern, your perfection, or your perception of that.

The grass is always greener on the other side of the fence. As are the lights....

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I want no escape.

maleficent

The fly only spoils things if you let it... It's a tiny spec on that great big wall, you can always look elsewhere where the fly isn't and see the good things.

In NYC, the lights are timed pretty well, if you maintain a consistent speed, you can go 20 or more blocks without ever hitting a red light (or a pedestrian). Same might apply for life, just maintain a consistent speed, it's the speeding up or slowing down that throws off your timing and makes you hit the red lights.

Then again, i haven't driven in a few years... The red lights I hit allow me to cross the street so I won't complain too much about them.

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radioguy

wow, that's unheard in my part of the country. i couldn't live without my car.


coming to work, i hit 2 green lights out of 6. batting .333, not bad, definitely all star caliber

Y2KDREAD

0, but then again I only have one light to hit and this was coming home from a freinds house who lives quite close.

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Signatures are for chumps.

ibis

I haven't hit a light going to work in about two years. One flight of stairs and about a 20 foot walk is all I have to do. I guess there are some benefits to being an R.A....

Rodney

I don't go for consciously trying to be happy or count my blessings. It just isn't the way I'm built. Some people naturally have a happy, optimistic state of mind, and others don't. Frankly, a lot of it is brain chemistry and nothing more.

But there are other things that you can do. Yesterday my wife and I were waiting to eat breakfast at a popular restaurant. Our town has generally mild weather, so at that restaurant you wait outside. There are benches and also a self-serve coffee stand, so you can help yourself to a cup while waiting. It was an almost perfect morning: sunshine, comfortable temperature, light breeze. My wife and I had a long and pleasant conversation talking of many things, none too important, under a blue sky with fluffy clouds. The coffee was excellent. Others chatted softly nearby; children played quietly. And I had one of those moments when one realizes that, humble though the situation may seem to outsiders, it doesn't get much better than this. I think we've all had a few such moments.

So rather than labor to find the good in any crappy situation we happen to be in (hey, dude, you've still got your health, so smile!), just try to remember those moments of love and satisfaction -- those moments that you could live forever in, if given the chance -- and remember that your life is good enough to have brought you such moments, and will bring you many more of them, if you are open to them.

thingstodo

I don't think you have to sit around looking for the good things. All you have to do is be mindful of the moment and don't allow the negatives to bother you.

Like the other person that mentioned having a good time waiting for a breakfast table. I've gone through the same sort of thing waiting and found I ended up a little disapointed the wait was over because I made it into something enjoyable.

If you set your expectations too high, like always looking for perfection in things that are outside your area of influence, you will live a pretty sad life. It just won't happen for you. It is the small imperfections in the world that create the beauty. Try looking at the photos of people when both sides of their faces are identical.

Go with the flow....

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If you're wringing your hands you can't roll up your shirt sleeves.

Stangers have the best candy.

CoachAlan

That's beautiful, man. You make a good point, also. In fact, I would say that you've made my point more accurately than I did. The idea is to realize and embrace the 99% of life that is wonderful.

A double negative doesn't really work for the mind. (The example of Don't think of a white elephant comes to mind. Of course a white elephant comes to mind when you make that statement.) Your mind always thinks in the positive, so saying "I don't have a toothache," or "I don't have cancer," is not nearly as well-being-inducing as saying "I feel really well right now."

__________________
"If I cannot smoke cigars in heaven, I shall not go!"
- Mark Twain

roboshark

The concept is great, Coach Alan. I'd have to disagree about the percentage though. To say that 99% of life is wonderful is a bit too optimistic. Mostly, life is not wonderful, it's just average. Occasionally, one has a moment of serenity on a beautiful autumn day. I agree, one should cherish and enjoy those moments to the fullest. But these moments are special exactly because that's what they are: moments. If everyday was a beautiful autumn day, then the magic will be gone sooner or later.

It's very hard to try and base your life on or around these moments: for most people, that's just not sufficient.

What I'm trying to say is: the fact that I had a perfect run of green lights on the way home yesterday just does not make me happier sitting through all the reds on my way home today.

But then of course, that's probably because I'm on the "glass is half-empty" team.

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I want no escape.

skier

I find having the fly on the wall is a great way to concentrate. When the wall is perfect and all the same color, it's hard to concentrate on any one part, let alone the small dot that is the fly. The bumps and curves are what make the road of life fun and interesting. I would be very depressed if everything in my life went exactly according to my plan.

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DEI37

I usually hit both of them correctely. On occasion, I miss one. This morning, I got 'em both right. The way that I come in affords that easily though as they keep a long green for my direction, combined with a short red. It's nice.

I would bike to work, but it's 20 miles one way, so it isn't exactly practical.

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Generally speaking, if you were to get what you really deserve, you might be unpleasantly surprised.

Rodney

Actually, we may disagree. 99 percent of life _isn't_ wonderful. But perfect moments do occur, if we're open to them. And we're in those many moments which are less than perfect, we can do two things to carry us through:

*Remember the perfect moments
*Have faith that, in your life, more such moments will occur if you're open to them.

For example, the day before we had that perfect moment waiting for breakfast, I spent the entire day minding a bunch of homeless elementary school students with behavior problems. There weren't many perfect moments that day, lemme tellya. But I had faith that they'd come.

Fly

this is great.........i try and avoid the 1% and dig right in on the other 99%...and have been doin' it for a long time now.

just try and slap this stupid grin off of my face.

LIFE IS GOOD!!!!


*hit 4 greens on the way home last night too,not a red in sight*

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Glory's Sun

fly no matter how many red lights you do get stopped at ..you're always "hittin greens"

creatism

sometimes it hard not to focus on the bad things.
for the most part i am an optimistic person and every once in a while life will come along and trip you and while you are down proceed to beat the shit outa ya. so its hard but for the most part if you try and be happy and focus on good things your life will be better in the long run

keyshawn

One of the few human freedoms that we always have complete control over is our attitude...It makes all the difference in the world.

[its ironic, that my theology teacher told us that today, and the rest of the class seemed quite uninterested and were half asleep....I dont understand why my peers dont give that much of a care about school...]

On the way home yesterday, after a crappy day of work and school, as soon as I turned on to my local college radio station - I heard the DJ tell about their phone number to call in...I did and won free concert tickets for this Thursday night....