mystmarimatt

Granted, i think this was sort of covered a few days ago by lazyaznguy, I kind of just needed to sound off and vent about the last few days that wouldn't (necessarily) induce a wave of advice. Not that I wouldn't appreciate it, but, as you'll see, I don't totally want that to be the focus.

Some of you might have picked this up from me earlier, but I'll do a recap just in case:

Last year, I was at a school I hated, I hated the dorms, the location, the people, the programs. But mostly, it was the dorm life, the dorm I resided in was a veritable wasteland, nobody talked to each other, and even my roommate, who I really liked, and he liked me, was never around. Compounded with the fact that I'm naturally shy and have a hard time meeting people...It wasn't a very good situation, and try as I might, I never found a social life, I was utterly miserable.

So, I decided to transfer for this year. I went from a smallish-sized state school (5000 students) to a fairly small private school (1600 students) and i really love the programs here, for theatre, english, music and history, the stuff I want to study.

My story here begins with moving in on saturday, and it feels once again I'm residing in a lifeless dorm, and, once again, My roommate isn't around (and by not around, I mean he's gone home for the weekend, and seems to want to do that every weekend), And it just feels like last year all over again. Not to mention, I'm surrounded by a dorm that's filled mostly with football players who already know each other, and personally, I get along better with girls than I do with guys, and being that there are no girls here (the dorm is coed by wing)...I'm just feeling disgruintled. Now, I understand the flaws in my own behavior, that I need to get out and meet people, and get involved, and I'm going to try to talk to the residential people to find a new place to live. I think the only thing I'm really getting at, and maybe you all can interject, but, I'm just really discouraged, and feeling like "Shit, the universe hates me when it comes to dorm life."

So, I guess I needed to vent, and figue, hey, you can use this thread to vent about how much the universe hates you at the moment.

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Words of Wisdom:

If you could really get to know someone and know that they weren't lying to you, then you would know the world was real. Because you could agree on things, you could compare notes. That must be why people get married or make Art. So they'll be able to really know something and not go insane.

Averett

You have to make it into what you want. Nobody says you have to stay in your room 24/7. You say your roommate isn't around. Who says you can't be out and about too? I lived in dorms that were coed by wing as well. So you just walk to the girls dorms. Introduce yourself. Hang out. Go to sporting events. Join clubs.

I had the same roommate for 4 years. We were on the hall with all of the girl athletes, and neither of us play sports. We're certain that we were the last two girls in that year, and just got placed together. We kept our door open, said hi to the other girls and made friends somehow. We hung out together most often, but there were times she did her thing and I did mine.

You're the master of your domain. make college what you want it to be.

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Absence is to love what wind is to fire. It extinguishes the small, it enkindles the great.

filtherton

It's going to suck until you figure out how to make it not suck. Part of getting through college is making difficult and intolerable things acceptable and possibly even enjoyable. Seems like you already know this, so keep your head up.

I want to vent about my being required to take a trig based physics class as a prereq for the calc based physics series and not being allowed to use calc in said trig based class. Wtf? I understand that i need to know how to do such things, but integrals are so much quicker than limits. Fuck, many of the equations are derived using calc, so why can't i use the calc to do a goddamn two dimensional motion problem?

Beyond that, things are swell.

maleficent

Have classes started yet?

You've got a brand new start at your new school - this is the do as I say not as i do part of our program -- You don't have to be shy - -you can be whomever you want to be - no one knows you at your new school - you can be the wacky new guy - say hello to people, they won't bite.

Having a roommate that goes home everyweekend has it's advantages... Don't be so quick to throw in the towel on this dorm... Your roommate doesn't have to be your best friend, they just have to be someone who won't make you completely crazy by living in the same room with them.

Challenge yourself to take a walk down the hall and say hello to at least 3 -5 people a day. Find a club/organization that interests you and join that. Get out of the dorm, make the best of the situation you are in. Sounds like a great program. Enjoy it.

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Jesus Pimp

Go to party school like Penn State. I had a blast there. I think you just got to find the right college to unwind. PSU was great because everyone there was friendly and outgoing. I was shy like you but I made a lot of friends. Staying in your dorm won't help. Go out and have fun. Meet some cute girls. Get laid. College should be a fun time, not a boring time.

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Never date anyone who doesn't make your dick hard.

ChrisJericho

When it comes to the dorms, it's really the luck of the draw. Freshman year I had an awesome hall of people, whereas softmore year I got stuck with a hall that was full of Dungeons and Dragons players.

If I were you I would join a club. At UW there are clubs for everything. Martial arts, Sciences, Japanese cartoons, if you can imagine it there's probably a club.

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"A casual stroll through the lunatic asylum shows us that faith proves nothing." - Friedrich Nietzsche

yakimushi

One thing folks haven't mentioned yet is your Resident Advisor. Get in touch with this person, it's their job to help you accomodate yourself. I was one for two years in college and one of the things I did the most was simply tell people about what what going on on campus, where, and with who. RA's are definitely in the know when it comes down to campus events and organizations. And if they don't know, they can find out. Your RA is a resource, use him/her.

Oh, and not all RA's are model RA's. Some are just in it for the benefits. If your RA happens to be one of those, just go find another one in your hall. You're not just restricted to the RA on your floor.

gar1976

Get out. I went to a small school as well, about the same size. Look for fraternities if that's your kind of thing. Check for computer clubs if you're anti-social to meet other anti-social people. Get invited and GO to parties. It's college, you only do this once. Experiement with mind-altering substancies and cheap looking chicks. My point is, you only do this once. Did I mention you only do this once? Go meet people and have fun. Hang out in places (like the college deli) where you will run into people that you become familiar with, and then friends with. Get a part-time job on campus.

gar1976

Hell, I just drank my way through college. WOOOT! I'm drinking RIGHT NOW!

mystmarimatt

Well, thanks for the advice folks, everything is still going kind of slow, but I'm alright with it. I went to an audition for the fall play earlier tonight, did pretty well, hafta go back tomorrow, and hopefully i'll get a callback, and more hopefully, cast. I was mostly waiting around for that.

My RA is a nice guy, I actually have a class with him. I'm just realzing it takes me awhile to get settled in anywhere. I just needed some venting space and some open ears, so thanks.

__________________
Words of Wisdom:

If you could really get to know someone and know that they weren't lying to you, then you would know the world was real. Because you could agree on things, you could compare notes. That must be why people get married or make Art. So they'll be able to really know something and not go insane.

ibis

Right on. Since working for Residence Life (The housing Department) I've met alot of people. I started out as an Office Assistant and have since became a R.A. Being required to be visable has done alot for my social life.

gar1976

We always locked our RA in his room and called him "Fag Boy." Needless to say, I only lived in the dorms for one semester.