Johnny Rotten

So I went out to a bar tonight, for a going away party for a co-worker. There was this other girl there, also a co-worker. A few months back, I'd danced a brief tango with her, in the figurative sense. We went on a few dates, got some hot kissing, and then she pushed herself away from me. Well, that's life, you move on. The thing is that it had been a while since I'd gotten lucky with a girl, and she'd gotten me to think that I was finally going to get somewhere after a long drought. But things didn't turn out that way. Oh well. But tonight, I walk into the middle of a conversation she was having about this other guy she'd met and was having a really good time with. She'd gotten hers with this guy and talked about how nice it was to have done that after having gone awhile after not getting any. That kind of burned me up, to a surprising degree.

I mean, you have this long drought, you meet a girl, you think you're getting somewhere, it turns out you're not, then you have to hear about how good of a time she's having with somebody else. I'd had several strong beers at this point, so it was difficult to shake off. I had to basically head home at that point. I'd been pondering, days before, how frustrating it had been to hit a dead end with her, how essentially defensive she had been, and then somebody else comes along and breaks down all those walls I'd struggled against in vain.

This whole situation is knocking around in my head, and it's difficult to break free of, and I don't think I'm going to sleep well tonight, and the last thing I need is to begin wondering, all over again, about my place in life, why things have turned out the way they have, etc. I feel anger, righteousness, bitterness...but most of all I just feel disjointed. I feel kicked, off-track. I really wish I hadn't gone to this going away party and had just been blissfully ignorant. I almost didn't go, but it was only a few blocks from my place. I keep telling myself that some good will come from it, but I just don't see it. I know I'll feel better eventually. I'll forget all about this sturm and drang, life will go on, I'll take my lumps, build character, and be that much more ready for what lies ahead.

I just wish I could catch a break.

asudevil83

that sucks man....but i think i've got you beat on this one. how about you and your best friend both have feelings for the same girl (who happens to be both of your best friends), and you have a talk about how neither of you will pursue her because you dont want it to fuck up the friendship. but he decides to go behind your back and hook up with her. pretty bad huh?

the thing is....he thinks that i'm pissed off at him for doing it. and EVERYONE that i see has something to say about it, except for him. i guess i was just supposed to figure it out. right now i'm just trying to figure out what to be the most mad about.

its not because he hooked up with her....but because we both said we wouldnt, and he did.
then their is the fact that he violated the "bro's before ho's rule."
and we also have the fact that he hasnt grown the balls yet to talk to me about it.
and last but not least, he's talked to other people about the situation, causing them to come to me and ask me about shit. twice, i've been put in the situation where i have to defend myself.

damn i'm glad school has started back up and i've got a good intership to keep me busy.

Cynthetiq

Sometimes one thinks that the spark is there... only to realize as they get closer to the fire that there's really no fire there. A person has the right to change their mind. There were plenty of times that girls thought the same thing from me because I was celibate and didn't want to sleep with them, and they thought they were going to be the one to break my celibacy.... but they never did.

__________________
I don't care if you are black, white, purple, green, Chinese, Japanese, Korean, hippie, cop, bum, admin, user, English, Irish, French, Catholic, Protestant, Jewish, Buddhist, Muslim, indian, cowboy, tall, short, fat, skinny, emo, punk, mod, rocker, straight, gay, lesbian, jock, nerd, geek, Democrat, Republican, Libertarian, Independent, driver, pedestrian, or bicyclist, either you're an asshole or you're not.

Astrocloud

Some women are really weird. They compartimentalize sex from relationships. I went on a date once where it was just a sex date. I mean I met her on the internet and she agreed to have sex with me. I met her at her home and it was literaly just meeting her then kissing her while she unzipped my pants.

It turned out that she made "serious" dates on the internet too. (Her profile wasn't at all about sex...) She told me that she was really happy that she had me to fool around with so that she wouldn't feel tempted (ie horny) when she went on her other dates.

She later told me about her other dates and these guys were spending their money and time with this woman. They'd take her out to dinner at an expensive restaurant after sailboating or something. I wonder if they'd even give it a shot if they new that I had been in her the night before...

I don't know. Women -I don't think I'll ever figure them out.

TM875

And that's just it. That's the secret to life. You won't ever figure them out, so don't try. I've gone through something similar to you. I liked her, hooked up with her, she went after someone else. Don't know why. Still don't.

So instead I just let it drop. There are other girls out there. You'll find a good one one day. Just let go and live.

__________________
"I've made only one mistake in my life. But I made it over and over and over. That was saying 'yes' when I meant 'no'. Forgive me."

Blonddie

So instead I just let it drop. There are other girls out there. You'll find a good one one day. Just let go and live.[/QUOTE]

I agree. Everything happens for a reason, although it may take a while for you to see it. Like maybe she has and STD and someday you'll be damn glad you didn't sleep with her.

__________________
"There's one in every family...two in mine actually.."--- Zazu

braindamage351

Really, you're looking at it the wrong way. She didn't choose you over them. She's actually interested in them. You're a human dildo to her.

Good news: It's a fun thing to be.
Bad news: It won't go anywhere. Well, that might be good news actually...

Nefir

I've been in situations like yours a few times too. Afer about the fifth one (pretty quick, I know), I become desensitized to it. Its like that Dilbert cartoon, that goes something like - "Your performance in this project has been... simian." "Woohoo!"

I find its a far more efficient use of my time, nerves, and energy to select another target to pursue rather than overanalyzing what went wrong (not saying you shouldn't analyze at all - but not quite that much ).

__________________
You do not use a Macintosh, instead you use a Tandy
Kompressor break your glowstick, Kompressor eat your candy
Kompressor open jaws, Kompressor release ants
Kompressor watch you scream, Because Kompressor does not dance

rainheart

Gentlemen I declare the winner.

Johnny Rotten

Thanks for all the responses. It wouldn't have been so aggravating if I'd known I'd never have a chance with her. In fact, I think I did, in retrospect. We went back and forth for a while, me trying to get a date out of her, her politely declining, until I asked her why she was so reluctant (since it didn't seem to be mundane disinterest). Well, even though I'd told her, right at the beginning, that I wasn't looking to be her boyfriend, she'd decided I was and kept me at arms length. Once I explained to her, again, that this was not the case, that I was just a guy who wanted to have some fun time with her, she changed her mind.

Then this stupid thing happened. The next day, she invited me to go on a smoke break with her, later that day (we work in the same building). I waited and waited, and she never called or came by. Late in the afternoon, I go out for a break, and I bump into her walking out for a break with her girl friend. That just rubbed me the wrong way, and I felt like I was sliding back into that same rut with her, or she was still playing defensive, and I just didn't want to go through that after working so long to get a date out of her and failing because of her misunderstanding. It could have gone somewhere, but I just couldn't get over that little thing. I don't know, maybe I was better off trusting my gut. At any rate, I'm over what happened a few nights ago, and we're on good terms...But I'm done with chasing her down. If she wants me, she can come and get me.

__________________
"The idea that money doesn't buy you happiness is a lie put about by the rich, to stop the poor from killing them." -- Michael Caine

Astrocloud

I think you have the right attitude. My experience tells me that you'll never win her over by keeping any self respect or pride. But if you give that up then SHE'S CERTAIN to walk all over you.

BTW -nobody really got what I was talking about by being a budinsky about the chick who used me as the human dildo. I wasn't bringing it up because I cared how I was being used. I brought it up as an example how THEY (them the other men) were being used. I think it's similar to Johnny's story... somehow.

Kazic

I know how you feel. But on a larger scale of sorts. It feels not unlike a kick in the junk. But A huge Hammer just jumped out from around a corner when you weren't looking and just destroyed your balls. Thing is you will be ok, it just hurts and makes you feel terrible right now. Good thing about it is it will pass in time just give it time. I don't know how much of this will sink in as you need to believe in what your selling and right now I don't.

__________________
"Computer games don't affect kids; I mean if Pac-Man
affected us as kids,we'd all be running around in
darkened rooms, munching magic pills and listening
to repetitive electronic music."
-Kristian Wilson, Nintendo, Inc, 1989