balefire88

wondering how people generally do on resolutions. i'm not talking about the ones that most of us make every new year's, like losing weight, and stop following through by the end of january...though, if you have gotten healthier for over a year, then power to you..

i'm talking about seriously changing your life...mine would be from high school to my second semester of first year of college...in high school, i was pretty anti-social, had only 3 or 4 friends total at the end of hs..though i was polite, and generally well liked by everyone..same thing first semester of college..something damn shitty happend over my winter break, which coincided with new year's i suppose, and i resolved to be more outgoing, and now a couple years later a lot of people think i'm the most outgoing person they know..however, i've never managed to follow through weight lifting resolutions, max i've held through is 3 straight months, with good results of 10 lbs gain, and then i just quit like most people do, now i jstu play basketball and tennis

so, i was wondering, do most serious changes & resolutions occur after a major event (generally negative)? have people managed to make serious changes just like that while sticking to it? just curious

*aplogize ahead of time if this isn't the place for this post, or its been done b4, did search a bit for older post, pretty new around here*

Polyphobic

The resolutions that have worked for me are usually after a major life changing event.
The biggest one occured the winter of 1999. I had spent many years complaining about my pointless career and dismall life in my home town. That winter my youngest brother died. At the funeral I decided I had enough of my own bull shit. My brother's death put everything into perspective. Mainly that the things I hated most in my life were fixable and there were more important things to worry about. Thus, at the funeral I resolved to fix my life and start enjoying it. The end result was quitting my job and moving to Denver. 4 years later I have a decent job, a new baby, and a new house.
Sometimes it takes a traumatic event to push you into doing something about your problems.

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<--The great infidel-->

lurkette

Polyphobic, I'm right there with you. My brother died a year ago last April, and since then I've made a lot of changes in my life. I still have some work to do, but at least I'm on the path. The biggest change is that my tolerance for my own (and everyone else's) bullshit has gotten much lower. I know when I'm not being true to myself, and it makes me uncomfortable to stay there, so I generally find a way to knock it off and be who I want to be.

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Polyphobic

I am glad to hear that you are also finding a way to make something postive out of a family member's death. Those horrible events put everything in perspective.

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<--The great infidel-->

ratbastid

I think that resolutions made in the absence of some externally life-altering event are basically hard to follow through on. We human beings just aren't very good at keeping our word over time, you know?

It's something I've really gone to work at over the last several years, being able to say something shall be, and then by god have it be that way.

I've been a non-smoker for over three years, because I said I would be. There wasn't an incident that made me sit down and reconsider my smoking (a pack a day, at the time). I just said I was going to quit, and I quit. Of course, it wasn't quite that simple--it was months and months of struggling with myself and beating back my urges and habits. But it was all inside of having given my word to the way it was going to go.

kurty[B]

there's a couple of resolutions I'm working on right now. Some of these are goals I've had for a long time, but not until a live-changing event did I decide to pursue them.

Currently, I am actively working on changing my career focus, and moving thousands of miles to do this. I used to say "when I have enough money saved up, I'll do it". Well, that type of statement allows for postponement, after a few major events I changed that train of thought to "By January I WILL be accepted at one of these schools, and moving there as soon as the next semester starts after that".

It took a major event for me to realize I was maleable, easily influenced, and lacking any sort of morals. I've decided that I will define myself, be sure of myself, so I can put my foot down when someone crosses MY boundaries. I've also decided to do much better at staying in contact with family and friends.

As far as work-out resolutions... I'm horrible at keeping those unless I have someone else working with me to keep me working towards them. Instead of a strict work-out schedule, I decided to get rid of any TV or computer in my home, and when I get bored I either call people and see what they're up to, or go for a hike or a bike ride, or a walk.

There are a lot more little resolutions that I'm working on, but those all kind of tie into the big ones.

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joens1

For me, it was age. The wife and I were having a nice dinner, discussing finances. We are able to cover the bills, with not much left over. We simply talked about what needed to be done. It wasn't a life changing moment, more of an awakening. I realized that I had to go back to school. At the end of the dinner, I was researching schools with a major in mind. I am now in college, living a dream that I had never before thought was possible.

desal75

On March 9th 1997 I said "tomorrow I am going to change my life." I was twenty at the time, overweight, lonely, and unsure of myself. By that summer I lost 40lbs (which i have kept off) was feeling great and having much more enjoyment and personal satisfaction in my life. This has all kept on going. One happy side note was the the new self confidence made it MUCH easier to talk to girls. Not that it was what the whole thing was about but it was nice. I just said I am going to do the things I always said I would do but hadnt. Standing up for myself was the first one. I think it just takes the will to go through with it.

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animosity

Well every summer I like to give something up, or stop a bad habbit.

This summer I gave up sweets... not really a life changing event, but it keeps my will power in check.

veruca

i made 2 this year...
1. too get out...do what i want to do...there was so much i was missing out on, because noone could/would go with me to do the things i like...i came this a realization in tucson, that i would never be there again and i stood alone on a moutain top...looking down at the hospital where my husbands best friend lay in ICU...after he got in a terrible wreck...i stood there crying thinking i would die, if he died...and that this life is too short to sit in front of the t.v. and to do things because other people want you too...that was 2 months ago...and i have done more in that time than in 2 yrs

2. to work out everyday...i used to be in amazing shape...and i let it go...it's not the weight issue, i am happy with myself...but i want to be strong and healthy

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