TM875

Allright, everyone - there comes a time in one's life when he suddenly realizes something that's been hitting him in the face forever. Something that's finally, obviously, been revealed.

After nearly four years, my girlfriend and I are offically, forever, apart. I have spent the last years of my life doing everything possible - sometimes things that have hurt me greatly - in order to keep her happy.

This summer, she went to Europe. Before the trip, she was constantly saying how she loved me and how she would miss me so much. Returning..guess what! "Oh, yea, I met someone on the trip..." No preparation....I just suddenly couldn't be with her. To say that she's never done something like this before would be a lie - I've just never felt so strongly about the actions that I'm gonna take.

Naturally, at first I was upset. Angry. Incredibly sad. She did this to me with no hint of it previous. I thought that our relationship was finally back on track to where it was a few years ago. Guess I was wrong.

I have given her everything that I have ever had. She is my life - I have nothing without her. Now, at first I was sure that I was just gonna let myself slide into a deep depression. Not anymore.

After spending sometime with her and her family tonight, I realize that I still have what is most important to me - the relationship with her family. I've always felt more a part of them than I ever did with my own (mainly, because my relationship with her has pushed me away from my family). I realized - she is now my sister, not my girlfriend. I can feel protective, but, in the end, how I feel cannot effect her life.

I am convinced that no one will ever put up with the shit that I have. She will be hard pressed to ever find anyone willing to do for her what I have done. She will never be happy, for she will always demand change and something new. I understand this now. Instead of forever fighting to keep her happy (keeping myself miserable in the process), I now have the chance, the obligation, to go out and find someone who will support me the way I need it.

I've lost my family because of her. I've lost financial security. I've lost friends and the chance to learn social skills. I've nearly lost my life. I refuse to lose anything more to keep her happy.


This is my moment of zen for the night. Fellow TFP'ers, post any revelations that you might have stumbled across recently. It doesn't have to be monumental - could be something as simple as realizing that Starbucks purposefully trys to turn its customers into addicts. Spread your knowledge and newfound rationale onto the world!

__________________
"I've made only one mistake in my life. But I made it over and over and over. That was saying 'yes' when I meant 'no'. Forgive me."

Manic_Skafe

Congrats on ridding yourself of the woman getting things back to the way they should be.

Here's a few things I've learned:

- Regardless of how I view things now, my opinion could change the next day. Keep and open mind, an open heart, and things will fall into place.

- Looking for happiness in anything but one's self is about as pointless as turning to a brick for finacial assistance. You've gotta be able to keep yourself happy regardless of your surroundings and circumstances.

- Just because I live in New York doesn't mean everyone's out to screw me over. There are far too many nice people in this world to walk around in a state of perpeutal fear of what they could do. There's too much to be learned from people to walk around completely guarded.

- Regardless of where you work, you'll never be completely appreciated until the day you leave. Learn to motivate yourself and take a job well done as your reward.

- Never compromise your integrity regarardless of the circumstances. Know who you are and stay true to yourself.

- You don't have the right to complain about what you refuse to change.

- There's more to this life than I could ever imagine or understand. Any existence devoted to discovering and understanding such things would be an existence well lived.

-Chinese food = good but unhealthy.

__________________
"Porn is a zoo of exotic animals that becomes boring upon ownership." -Nersesian

bing bing

People seldom look up.

denton

I know my older brother better than he knows himself.
Whenever I talk to him, I could've writtern his part of the script.

bookerV

I realize that I too have put up with too much shit from women. And it may be because of the rebound factor. Well a revelation that I am slowly coming to is that I need to be happy. And if I don't make some hard choices I will never be that way. I can't put my life on hold for someone else. I give my all in a relationship, and I deserve the same in return. No half assing it anymore. I think it's time I am done mincing words and dancing around issues for fear of being alone, and the unknown. It's time I put myself first and do what I need to do to be happy.

__________________
"That's why you're the judge and I'm the law-talking guy."

Lionel Hutz

st33lr4t

ive learned that being negative is easier then being positive yet it requires alot more effort.

tecoyah

I have come to the realization that most of the negative things in this life can be attributed to my own expectations, and are therefor under my complete control.
This understanding has allowed me to accept, and even enjoy to a certain extent, the crap life deals on a day to day basis. Thus my sig line.

__________________
Holding onto anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned. - Buddha

thebeat

This past 4th of July, I realized that I was fortunate to be born and live in this country, not sure why it took 21 years, but I am forever greatful that I can proudly say im from America

__________________
random

ratbastid

In theory, there's no difference between theory and practice.

In practice, there is a difference between theory and practice.

ARTelevision

I had a revelation about 15 years ago that I was a complete and total idiot in my relationship to the rest of the world and that I was responsible for the mess my life had become. Then a few years ago, I realized that not only was I correct about that but in order to follow through and bring things in line with the previous decade's work, I had to change all of my opinions about everything. Things are pretty stabilized now.

__________________
create evolution

:::OshnSoul:::

life is eternal, we all are perfect (some of you find that strikingly unbelievable), we all have challenges and make decisions that help us realize and grow, no mistakes, no wrongdoings. We are all one. God is not a being, but a source- that flows through and binds all things and every person. To just LIVE, without worrying, stressing out, holding grudges, or picking at every little thing, or judging. Only reflecting, observing, and choosing Who I Am in every moment. A lot of this can be hard to conceive, but if it weren't for me discovering this, who knows where I'd be now.

joens1

I skipped most of what people said, so here is my reply to your thread. What most people seem to miss in life is that "YOU" are number 1. Deal with that accordingly, and life gets much easier. Whether it's kids or (as everyone likes to post) your SO, life seems to be so much more fruitful when you keep yourself in the forefront. I know it's a strange concept, but you were not born for somebody else's happiness.

skier

1. People are too worried about what you think of them for you to worry about what they think of you.

2. Most people only see what's directly in front of them.

3. Without a goal, you stagnate. Ambition and change are essential for fufillment.

4. Savor every experience you recieve. You may not get to experience it again.

5. Some things you just can't control. Live with it and perfect the things you can.

6. Smiles are addictive.

7. Embrace change. Live it. breathe it. Change gives you a new perspective on life. Change is exciting. Change gives you an edge over everyone that refuse to see it. Change will broaden your horizons.

8. Touch the ones you love. Touch is so expressive and powerful, it will express your feelings a billion times better than any words could.

__________________
"Asking a bomb squad if an old bomb is still "real" is not the best thing to do if you want to save it." - denim

Jam

1. Money is only everything when it is an issue

fallenangel

1. I don't have to live my life for the sole purpose of trying to make everyone else's life better.

2. I can love, and I will love.

3. You're never too young to fall in love with someone.

4. I'm still in the process of going through a lot of changes mentally and emotionally, but i'm doing my best to cut away the superfluous crap from my life and start focusing on making myself happy again, because without that, i don't have a reason to continue going through the motions.

__________________
all I wanna do is - give the best of me to you

Peetster

Nor are you ever too old. Maybe it takes half a lifetime to finally meet that person.

fallenangel

I totally agree Peet. I just happen to be on the young side of things as far as personal revelations go and I get pissed off to no end when i'm told, don't worry, you're young, it wasn't really love, You're too young to fall in love! *glares daggers* ...(not at peet)

__________________
all I wanna do is - give the best of me to you

TM875

I realize now that what made my relationship special was not her, but me. I would have had the same overall experience, love, and dedication, regardless of who I was with. She will never experience what I gave her again.

And, agreeing with Angel, you are never too young to love. However, I realize that, since I still am young, I still have time to find that love out there.

__________________
"I've made only one mistake in my life. But I made it over and over and over. That was saying 'yes' when I meant 'no'. Forgive me."

pinkie

You're never too old to become something new.

skinnymofo

-weekends dont mean quite so much when your unemployed.
-If your unhappy, just take a walk to somewhere peaceful and sit down and read or think to yourself for a while. Youll feel refreshed afterwards.
(this one i just recently found out)

aphroditeskiss1

Being only 18, I am sure that my revelations may not be as deep as some of yours, but here's what I've found:
1. Sometimes you have to relenquish control to get where you want, but that can be harder than staying in control
2. When you have found a deep, soul-defying love, you must do everything to protect it, even if you screwed it up.
3. Forgive and forget once, forgive twice, the third time, say "hasta la vista, babe. Screw you, btw". If someone does something that many times, and it hurt you, they are out to hurt you, no matter what they say.
4. Happiness begins with you. If you are not happy, it may hurt to find out why, but ultimatly, you're the better for it.
5. For all the teenagers who read this, it's really not a load of crap. Adults sometimes know what they're talking about. I never thought I'd say this, but I'm like my mom, and damn proud of it.

__________________
"You always said destiny would blow me away. But nothing's gonna blow me away"- Something Coporate
" I do not pop pills! I take them and I eat them..."
- Foamy's friend