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Old 05-25-2004, 08:52 PM   #1 (permalink)
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help me make an awesome resume

Hey TFP,

Everyone else seems to have really awesome resume's, and mine always seems really, really bland. Can you guys think of stuff that makes a resume stand out. I'm going to post mine. I'm looking for a job teaching english in a foreign country. The XXXs are where I deleted personal information (just in case).

Here we go:

Dan McDonald XXXX
Education: B.A. in Political Science Pre-Law from Michigan State University
Date of Availability: Immediately
WORK STATUS US: I am authorized to work in this country for any employer.
INTERNSHIPS:

• 6/2002 to 12/2002
Senator Arthur Miller’s Office
I worked closely with the Senator's staff answering mail, working on the phone, and solving constituent cases. Through this internship I proved that I was capable of handling several projects at once, researching and requesting information through various government agencies, and capable of handling large mailings and campaigns. I saw Senator Miller through his final term, and was recognized in front of the Senate for my work throughout the year.

• 1/1999-4-1999
College Radio Station: WDUB 91.1 Denison
I worked as an apprentice and eventually received my own broadcast hours. In the course of this internship I learned to handle multiple tasks, an appreciation of contests and promotions, and how to plan a 2-hour block of radio time. I was given my own slot, and complete control of the content for that time period.

JOBS:
• 2/2004-6/2004 Substitute Teacher – Lansing School District
• 9/2003-2/2004 Security Guard – EStaff Security, Phoenix, AZ
• 7/2000 – 8/2001 (Summers and Holidays) Domino's Pizza, Duvall, WA
Driver and Phone. Support. Duties: Answer phones, deliver pizzas, deal with customer service issues.
Employee of the Month, June 2001
• 10/1996 - 6/1998 Forest Hills Inn Grand Rapids, MI
Host/Dishwasher. Duties: Greeted customers, sat them in the restaurant, got drinks, water, and silverware. Resolved
all customer service issues. Prior to hosting worked as a dishwasher.
In Brief:
Funcoland Game Advisor, Grand Rapids, MI 10/97-06-98
Cedar Rapids Gazette Delivery, Cedar Rapids, IA 11/94-07/96
REFERENCES:
Connie Platte at Senator Olshove's Office (formerly Senator Miller's)
Phone: XXX-8360

Melanie or Current Manager at Domino's Pizza
Phone Number: 517-XXX-9999
Duvall, WA
Robin or Jill Burton
Phone Number: 541-XXX-7192
Reference Type: Personal


So what's so wrong with this? I was interviewing with Maricopa County, and the woman there told me my resume sucked? I don't get what I'm supposed to put on there to make it better. If you guys can help me out at all, I'd really appreciate it.
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Old 05-25-2004, 09:32 PM   #2 (permalink)
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A good resume should be condensed down into one page.

Last edited by la petite moi; 05-26-2004 at 04:54 PM..
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Old 05-25-2004, 10:10 PM   #3 (permalink)
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the search button is your friend...here's some previous discussions on resumes

http://www.tfproject.org/tfp/showthr...ghlight=resume


http://www.tfproject.org/tfp/search....by=&sortorder=
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Old 05-26-2004, 08:33 AM   #4 (permalink)
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I've been here long enough to know to use the search button. It didn't show anything obvious, except for the fact that 'resume' is used in half the threads on this board.

Also, I wouldn't mind some specific help on MY resume, if this is out of bounds for Tilted Living then let me know.
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Last edited by Skettios; 05-26-2004 at 08:39 AM..
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Old 05-26-2004, 08:42 AM   #5 (permalink)
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Just a few thoughts on your resume - sucked is a little extreme.

In this day and age of computers, people no longer have resumes typeset -- so it's best to gear your resume to the job that you are applying for.

What's your objective?

I can't stand to see first person on a resume. I did this, I did that -- Well, it's your resume, I don't think you'd be putting what your friend did.

The two internships look good on a resume, but the content in them is a little weak. Go into more detail of what you did with the senator - Use bullet points rather than full sentences.

References shouldn't be on a resume, if they want them, they'll ask (and don't say references available on request.

Substitute teaching? What'd you teach, there are skills learned there that could be beneficial to a future employer,
Forest Hills Inn? Great skills learned there, but getting water and silverware isn't a skill - emphasize the customer service angle and that you worked your way up (Employers like to see some degree of loyalty by an employee, and that they stayed with a positin and earned a promotion.

What'd you do as a security guard? Paper work? Customer service? If you don't tell me, I'm going to assume that you watched tv or slept on the job.

Change Jobs to Employment History
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Last edited by maleficent; 05-26-2004 at 08:47 AM..
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Old 05-26-2004, 09:59 AM   #6 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally posted by Skettios
I've been here long enough to know to use the search button. It didn't show anything obvious, except for the fact that 'resume' is used in half the threads on this board.

Also, I wouldn't mind some specific help on MY resume, if this is out of bounds for Tilted Living then let me know.
not at all.. just more of a refresher to see that there's going to be lots of repetition of the statements here, from there that was my only point.

maleficent makes great points and ideas for your resume which I am in complete agreement.
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Old 05-26-2004, 10:08 AM   #7 (permalink)
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Thanks maleficent and Cynthetiq, that's exactly the kind of criticism I was looking for. I'm going to work on these changes now. As well as try to tailor my resume for this specific job.

(edit)

I updated my internship section, let me know if this reads better

INTERNSHIPS:

Senator Arthur Miller’s Office 6/2002 to 12/2002

• Acted as a constituent trouble shooter, solving constituent problems with various agencies of the government as well as Warren area businesses and non-governmental organizations
• Researched bills, took notes at meetings, and acted as a intergovernmental liason for the office
• Handled large mailing projects, updated voter databases, and organized campaign efforts
• Recognized in front of the Senate for work throughout the year.

WDUB 91.1 FM Denison 1/1999-4/1999
• Learned how to operate broadcast equipment, FCC regulations, and radio programming
• Handled contests and promotions, including ticket giveaways and on-air performances
• Given my own 2-hour block of time, with complete creative control of programming and content
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Last edited by Skettios; 05-26-2004 at 10:26 AM..
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Old 05-26-2004, 10:29 AM   #8 (permalink)
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reads much better
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Old 05-26-2004, 11:35 AM   #9 (permalink)
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much better
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Old 05-26-2004, 12:29 PM   #10 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally posted by Skettios
• Learned how to operate broadcast equipment, FCC regulations, and radio programming
Your verb is misaligned. "Learned how to operate FCC regulations"?
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Old 05-26-2004, 12:43 PM   #11 (permalink)
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Learned: how to operate broadcast equipment, FCC regulations, and radio programming

does that work or do I need to re-write the whole thing?
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Old 05-26-2004, 12:51 PM   #12 (permalink)
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they each could possibly be their own bullet point

- Operated Broadcast equipment such as......
- Maintained compliance with FCC Regulations (if that's what you did)

Not real clear what you did with radio programming is. So you might want to explain that a little further.

In either of your internship positions, did you implement any processes? Change how they do things for the betterment of the office?
You don't want to lie on your resume, but truth be told, embellishment is a given ... You want your resume to stand out, this is your first impression, you want the employer to want to meet you.
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Old 05-26-2004, 06:57 PM   #13 (permalink)
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Just to let you know, I used to work with Maricopa County in the HR department ... and my resume wasn't half as good as yours.

There's some good suggestions above. Best of luck.
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Old 05-26-2004, 07:23 PM   #14 (permalink)
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Relevant work history is your trump card. Do whatever you can to emphasize and offer specific examples of what you did at the senator's office and as a substitute teacher. In that same vein, consider removing everything listed below the teacher position.

Also, even the slightest grammatical/punctuation error can send the resume into the circular file, especially if the position requires excellent skills in that department. For example, "...as well as Warren-area businesses and non-governmental organizations." Ask several people to proofread it before you submit it.

Next, don't mention references or even say, "References available upon request." If the hiring manager is interested, they'll ask.

Last, do whatever you can to find out the name of the person who will be screening the resume, so that you can address them specifically on the cover letter. DON'T use, "To whom it may concern."

Hope that helps.
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Old 05-27-2004, 12:21 AM   #15 (permalink)
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You guys are awesome.

I'm looking at your suggestions and will fix appropriate areas and repost my resume in the morning.

Thanks for your help.

Skettios
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