uber1

i suppose this is a broad based question depending on many factors. Im wondering how much to spend on an engagement ring. I wouldnt want to be cheap about it and at the same time i dont want to be paying it off 20 years from now. Im in the lower middle class as far as income is concerned. What kind of price range is right? I have no idea if $5,000 is fine or if $10,000 is a better thing to do. My GF is not a very materialistic person, but i know she wants something to people will look at and say it is really nice ya know? help!

micah67

I've read a general rule of thumb is two months salary. I think that it's different for everyone. Luckily my gf isn't materialistic, either or that would've been one hell of a ring. (and I think even $5k is high)

You could get a temporary ring for the pop-the-question, then go shopping with her and pick it out together.

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Redlemon

My wife is a realist, and didn't want to carry that much money on her left hand. A colored stone (ruby, sapphire) can certainly bring the cost down, as long as she would be ok with it. I seriously lucked out; we used her mom's old setting (platinum), and a 1.33 caret rich blue sapphire was about $500. She is very happy with it. I, however, don't know your woman.

Has she ever commented on other people's rings to you? This would be your best guidance.

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NotMinus

I work at a jewellers that does mostly custom work. You should be able to get a very nice eng ring for $5,000. I would highly suggest for your center stone, you try and find a used diamond from a private party (make sure you have it appraised by a graduated gemologist first) or find someone who has a connection with a diamond dealer. When you buy a stone you are simply giving the store 2/3's of what the payed on average. The diamond market is ridicoulous after buying the stone you would be lucky to get .20 cents on the dollar if you turned around and sold it in the next day.

If you can get a good center stone you can take it to a Jeweller's or Gold Smiths and have them design a setting for you based on some ideas you may have. I would also recomend that you ensure they do all the work on site (casting, setting, finishing) as you will pay more if they don't and are contracting out the work.
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skysooner

We spent less than a thousand on the engagement ring and the wedding ring together. My wife still wears it and loves it even though our circumstances have gotten better. We could have afforded more at the time, but we didn't want to go into debt. It all depends on your woman.

onetime2

I was lucky in that my girlfriend's (now my fiancee) mother was/is best friends with a woman who owned a jewelry store. Her and her husband got out of the business because security was too much of a PITA but kept her contacts and can still order from the distributors. So, I got our engagement ring at cost (which is approximately 50% of what you pay at the jeweler).

I spent a bit more than $3k and the ring is appraised at more than double that. The details are: VS1 clarity, I color, .83 Carats cut in a round shape.

We found that the size of the diamond is important for reasons other than price. My fiancee has very small fingers and when we put a full carat and bigger stone on her hand it looked really gaudy.

FWIW, the recommendation of it being two months salary comes from the diamond industry. Would you take price recommendations from the auto manufacturers to buy a car? Of course not.

Get the best you can reasonably afford and at some time in the future if you and she so desire you can upgrade the stone(s).

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wubbawubba

Why is it that nowadays men are still expected to pay two months salery on a ring and women get off with a gold band? Women work now, it's time to start spending on us now!

Cynthetiq

spend as much as you both feel comfortable. you don't have to abide by any rules like drinking red wine with red meat. Do what you care to do.

I would have ended up buying the wife a HUGE ring because that's what I thought I "should" do. She however didn't want something so large.

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moonstrucksoul

can you actually name a woman who went and bought a ring for a man? i assumed that most men end up paying for that ring, too.


as for an amount, $5,000-$10,000? holy shit, you either have a lot of money to burn, or you really know how to buy into what commercials say. if you get a ring that costs that much, and you finance it, it is going to take you a couple of years to pay it off.

in our(OshnSoul and I) opinion, that is money best saved for a house or more important things.

for ten grand you could probably live in hawaii for two months or more. way better than a ring of precious metal with some rocks that are a million years old in it.

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sipsake

I agree with buying what you can reasonably afford.

Although, in my case, my fiance and I were shopping at an antiques store when she saw a ring she absolutely fell in love with. An antique setting of diamond and blue topaz, silver with an art nouveau style setting.

I went back the following week and purchased it.

About 4 months later she came home pouting. She had stopped in at the antique store just to look at her ring and some bastard had bought it.

I'm pretty sure bastard was what she called me when I proposed 3 weeks later.

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micah67

Nice move, sipsake! Well orchestrated!

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Mephisto2

US$5,000 is a lot of money. I spent A$8,000 (which is around the same), and it's a lovely ring.

Don't spend US$10,000. Personally I think that's just too much.

What you must remember is that the VALUE of the ring lies in the fact that you bought it for her, and what it means. It has no relation to the COST of the ring. These are two different things.

As Oscar Wilde said, the definition of a cynic is someone who knows the cost of everthing but the value of nothing.

If she loves you, a silver band with a cubic zirconium would be acceptable. She loves YOU, not your wallet... (at least we both hope she does!). In fact, spending as much as you can afford and no more is better than going mental. Just put some thought into it. What designs does she like? Silver, gold or platinum? Maybe even titanium (which is becoming popular).

Don't believe the deBeers bullshit about having to spend a lot of money. They are ripping you off.


Mr Mephisto

fnaqzna

Think about who says that in the commercials.


The diamond retailers have their reasons, or so I'm told.

kutulu

Ya fuck De Beers (sp) and their propaganda. Personally, I'd say its all relative. If you're a college student who doesn't have much money, you can get something that looks great for $500. If you're an average guy making ~$40k, then probably $1-2k. If you're making bank, then maybe in the $5-10k range.

IMO, the thing about diamonds and their clarity ratings is that unless you go far down the scale you aren't going to notice the flaws. I'd worry most about the color and the cut. Be sure you find out what types of cuts she likes first (but don't make it obvious).

Although I'm embarrased to say so, my wife bought her own ring. We didn't have money and we both had bad credit and piled up cc debt so putting it on a jewlery store card was not an option. She got like $20k when her grandmother died. We wanted to get married, but couldn't afford shit so she said to pick it out and she'd give me the money. We spent about $1300 and it's beautifull.

I may have got off the hook for the engagement ring, but now I owe her a 3 stone annivesary ring someday...

Untitled

I don't think the cost should really matter. I mean, she's going to be wearing this ring, presumably, for the greater part of the rest of her life. It should be something she loves. I finally found the engagement ring I've had in my head for years, and it was under $500. I dont think price matters at all.

txlovely

Having a ring when you ask her is old-fashioned. Do the whole proposal thing (and do it very well ) and then take her shopping. Give her a budget and let her pick it out herself. She may rather have a plain band until you both can afford what she really wants and this way, you're off the hook and she gets something she's happy with. There's nothing wrong with that! Spend your money on the wedding, honeymoon, home, etc. All women secretly want that JLo pink diamond, but we all know we can't have it. No big deal - we love you, bling or not!
Another point - if you can afford the ring right off of the Bride's magazine page, that's when you pop the question with the ring. Otherwise, you have to be creative and improvise! It's all about the love, baby.

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yotta

This "Rule of thumb" was created by the diamond industry, and spread around via viral marketing.

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Bobaphat

Two months salary is an outrageous sum for any peice of jewelry in my opinion. Lets face it, when most people are in the market for an engagement ring, they are usually just starting out in life or at least are not that established. To take on a debt of that magnatude for a bobble is asinine. I know I couldn't slap that kind of cash down for a ring without financing it, which means I would end up paying much more for the ring than it was valued at in the first place. Think what other uses you could have for money like that. Down payments for a house, a car, retirement, investing, the list goes on and on. Sure, if you have money out the ying yang and two months salary isn't going to do you any damage, then by all means, do whatever you feel, but don't let that rediculous "rule of thumb" put you in a financial bind that isn't necessary. After all, the significance of the ring isn't in its value, its in meaning; "I commit myself to you."

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tecoyah

My wife and I bought our "sterling silver" rings for less than $200.00 and it felt great. The ring is only a symbol, treat it as such. If your relationship requires a more expensive symbol....then go for it. Just put the symbol into perspective, and focus on each other.

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tooth

It's been a while, but I think we bought ours for about $1000. Simple gold band that has a twist in the middle, and a 3/4c diamond. Very simple and elegant. It's what she wears as her wedding ring too.

Unless you or your gal are really materialistic, its not the value of the ring that counts.

slimpi66y

buddy, man, let's say if you see the ring on some woman's finger, will you be impressed? if not so, keeping upping them Karats

mtsgsd

That rediculous rule of thumb was created by the diamond merchants so ignore it.

Listen up now;
It's not about the rings!

The ring is a symbol, and as such the money you spend is meaningless. You can buy very nice, rings for a lot less money.
As an example, I'm lucky in that my wife shares my taste in jewelry ie. we dont' believe in spending big bucks, and we don't like diamonds (they just look like glass. boring). We bought a beautifull lab emerald ring for the engagement ring, a gold wrap to combine with it for the wedding ring, and a lab emerald wedding ring for myself for a total somewhere under $1000. We get compliments all the time.

Oh and another benefit to being frugal... She lost the rings a month after the wedding (long story) and it didn't break the bank to replace them.

Balaniki

Well thanks for bringing THAT up again dear! Yes, it was MY fault. And yes, I was glad we didn't spend a ton of money on the ring.

The first thing you need to do is ask your GF what SHE wants. SHE will be wearing the thing!!

Like my husband said, I don't care for diamonds (cold, boring things IMHO). I like COLOR. And the Lab-created Emeralds ... well, they POP!! And I like the lab-created kind because - they are cheaper, they are IMHO more beautiful AND they are STRONGER than the natural stones (a BIG plus for me since I do alot of work with my hands).

Here's my wedding ring. The Engagement ring was the inner ring - with the Emeralds. The wedding band was the gold wrap that goes on the outside of the ring:



I LOVE how the gold band reflects the green of the stones.

And here's my husbands ring:



Simple yet very eye-catching.

So, back to my thoughts - find out what your GF wants. Go ring shopping together but BEFORE you go discuss budgets!!

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uber1

thanks for all of the advice and input. i really appreciate it guys and gals!

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Mikee

Same here. We were then able to afford things we needed. And when starting a family, that helped us out alot.

Just remember what the ring is for. Status? Or just something to show a bind between the two people.

jwells777

Be certain that you are an informed consumer when it comes to shopping for a diamond. Several things I recommend is reading up on and understing diamond grading/shape/etc. The two months salary thing is complete bs and certainly not necessary. You may want to find out subtlely how large of a stone your soon to be fiance is comfortable wearing and then go to

http://www.pricescope.com/

and find out how much you should be paying for the stone. I personally would highly recommend buying a smaller quality stone than a larger stone with poor color and fire. I have seen 1/2 carat stones that attract alot more attention than 1 carat stones because they sparkle across the room.

My guess is that you can get a very nice 1/2 carat diamond for between $1200-$1600 depending on the quality. Probably another couple of hundred for the setting and you are set.

pocon1

I bought my wife's engagement ring for about $750 eight years ago. I was a month out of college, and it was a 1/3 carat marquis cut. Her wedding band wraps around the ring and adds two small diamonds to flank it, making the entire set look a little larger and more elegant. Get a slightly better stone, even if it is smaller. Her sister got a stone the same weight, but it was broader and flatter, and it did not sparkle as well. Someday, I will buy her a channel set diamond ring, after she finishes nursing school. Until then, I will pay her education.

shakran

So. . what are you saying here? You want a princess-cut diamond on your wedding ring now? You gonna start wearing lace collars next?

Go with what she likes, and what looks good and tasteful. That, btw, is rarely more than 1 carat and frequenty is less. A big rock almost always looks gaudy and cheap, no matter how much it cost.

I'd rather give her a $500 ring that looked nice than a $5,000 ring that made her look like the fiancee of a pimp.

sillygirl

First off. I paid for my husband's ring. He didn't WANT anything more than a simple band. Be careful when you generalize.


I think the two month's salary thing came a long while ago, not necessarily by jewelers. I thought it was along with the idea that if the man left for whatever reason, the woman could sell her ring and still survive.

Personally, I'm not too materialistic. But if I was ever to get married again, I'd still want a beautiful ring. Simple, elegant, and beautiful. And I'd love to have it presented to me when he proposes. But ya know? It's really not that big of a deal. Don't worry about how much you "should spend". Find something just as beautiful as she is, that reminds you of her. She'll love it.

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sherpahigh

I'm almost 100% sure that the two months thing came from the diamond industry along with a lot of other incredibly sucessful marketing schemes. I have a really interesting book at home all about the diamond industry. It's a really interesting read:

http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg...glance&s=books

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sillygirl

Heh. Cool. That theory was something I'd heard a few times. :shrug: Either way I think it's interesting.

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Slims

Shoot, I would rather she expressed her love for my by buying me two months pay worth of gadgets. I don't want to waste any more money on my wedding band than is absolutely necessary, esp. since any money she spends on me is basically money that we won't have available anymore.

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pocon1

BTW, if she breaks up before the wedding, the ring is still yours. The engagement ring is conditional on marriage. Even Miss Manners agrees that an engagement ring should be returned.

sillygirl

I love Miss Manners!

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jRuntlets

Must suggest that you find out what she wants. There's nothing worse than a woman who hates her engagement ring. (I know plenty of them)

You might also try asking if there is a ring that's been passed down from generation to generation in the family. Lots of families are like that. Typically if a single woman has owned the ring and is going to pass it down to your girlfriend it may have enough metal for a plain setting on the engagement (where the rock is!) ring and enough metal left over for the wedding band. This is an awesome way to go: a. because it's got family ties to it. and b. all you'd have to pay is the re-setting fees.

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Ryan

My brother just spent 5600 on his wife for thier engagement ring. If it helps any. I will try and get the cut and style and post back.

gar1976

Get what you can afford and like. If she's reasonable, she'll like it no matter what you get her.

Proposed to wife while still in college, spent around $200 on ring.

qtpye4u84

Go to a mall!
when your there I am sure it will have a jewelry store in it.
see what she points out pretend your there to look at money clips or some thing for a relative.
Well, I am saying around 1,000 and up for a real nice one.
I just want a princess cut white gold or plat, If I am lucky, they look the same so why not go for the white gold lol. And you can by the wedding band later on when you have more money.
The stores normaly have books of the wedding rings that are on sale for you to take home or look at.

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SparklingDot

Honenstly, I don't want anything big. I found a perfectly lovely $450 tanzanite ring. But he has different plans for me. The two months salary thing is bogus, unless you're like me and make $500 a month. But still, I think $500 is more than enough. I don't like diamonds for center stones. They are too common and overpriced.

A ring is a gesture and a symbol of love. You shouldn't have to break the bank for her to know how you feel.

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