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Old 12-05-2003, 02:06 AM   #1 (permalink)
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Projecting Self-Confidence

This thread has probably already been done but the search function is down so I have no way of knowing

Anyway. What tips does everyone have for projecting self-confidence. Sure it's easy when you're with your friends walking down the street but there are always certain situations--for me, going in for an interview--that drain ALL my self confidence and make me kind of meek and unsure of myself. In my head I know I have confidence but translating that into speech/body language becomes near impossible in certain situations.

Anyone got some tips or tricks? therapy groups?
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Old 12-05-2003, 05:22 AM   #2 (permalink)
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Smile, walk straight with your chin up, look them in the eye. Simple as that.
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Old 12-05-2003, 06:51 AM   #3 (permalink)
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My friends comment that i usually seem confident, even when in at times i'm not quite that inside.

My advice firstly would be the way you walk. Stand tall, don't hunch, step lively, don't drag your feet, as i see a lot of people do. Sort of march, yet not.

Another thing is your whole mindset. Know who you are, and accept who you are. Lots of people think they can be confident only when they think they are incredibly great or something. What i say is, you know what your strengths and your weaknesses are, and you know that both define who you are, and the hell what the rest of the world things, unless your weakenss is hurting somebody. Too often we are looking for approval. When you walk around or go somewhere and you tell yourself "This is who i am, and i like it", then your body will start showing it too, and after a while, it becomes second nature to you.

Most of us are afraid of failing and are too eager to please when we go for an interview and such things, or are too anxious to make a good impression, and this shows off in nervousness. Just try your best, TELL YOURSELF you've tried your best, and believe that when it doesn't really go your way, you've done your part.

Well, this are just some tips, i'll post some more if i can think of anything else. In all, confidence comes when you belive in yourself.

All the best to you
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Old 12-05-2003, 08:41 AM   #4 (permalink)
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someone once told me to Fake it till you make it...

and you can also try the "Boiler Room" approach, Act as if.. Act as if you were the president of the company, act as it you had balls the size of.."
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Old 12-05-2003, 11:43 AM   #5 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally posted by Cynthetiq
and you can also try the "Boiler Room" approach, Act as if.. Act as if you were the president of the company, act as it you had balls the size of.."
Good movie. Great advice. You are always confident when you are in your own environment. Be comfortable in yourself or pretend that you are and you will always project confidence.

But, be mindful of eye contact, good posture and relaxed shoulders. Shoulder tension betrays attemps and looking relaxed.
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Old 12-05-2003, 12:48 PM   #6 (permalink)
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i think its all about thought control. training yourself to think more clearly and stopping the negative thoughts when you have them. what you think is directly related to what you feel..
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Old 12-05-2003, 01:09 PM   #7 (permalink)
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relax. your just talking to someone about a job. it's not the end of your life, it's just a conversation. if you don't psych yourself out in your head beforetime, your confidence will shine through. smile, nod, actively listen to what somoene says... make small talk. don't fidget. just relax. (easy to say, hard to do, hmm?)
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Old 12-05-2003, 08:41 PM   #8 (permalink)
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All these things are correct. Posture is important, eye contact is important, being positive is important. One thing always helps a lot: don't be passive. Don't wait for someone to tell you stuff, especially in a job interview; take the initiative. Ask what's going to happen next. Be interested in everything and ask questions. If you want to be a tease, pop (widen) your eyes a little bit at people when you turn to meet them for the first time (smile, too). It's the "I find you fascinating" look. Everybody reacts to it, subconsciously, and they'll have the urge to like you.

Staying relaxed is part of it -- but remember, you ain't relaxed if your jaw is clenched. Keep it relaxed.
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Old 12-05-2003, 10:07 PM   #9 (permalink)
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Re: Projecting Self-Confidence

Quote:
Originally posted by Battlefield
there are always certain situations--for me, going in for an interview--that drain ALL my self confidence and make me kind of meek and unsure of myself. In my head I know I have confidence but translating that into speech/body language becomes near impossible in certain situations.

Anyone got some tips or tricks? therapy groups?
Understand in advance what the consequences of your actions will be, and reconcile yourself to them way ahead of time... that way when the situation comes up, you will already be prepared and able to respond smoothly without stuttering, panicking, or even looking disturbed.

For instance, with a job interview, think to yourself about what you're scared might happen. Like you accidentally making a really inappropriate comment. Or like them hitting you with a question about your salary requirements and you not knowing what answer they want to hear. Whatever the issues are for you...

Then think about what might happen and understand that even if it does, it is not the end of the world. There will always be another opportunity. A week or month later, these people probably won't even remember you.
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