popo

He had surgery a month ago to remove a tumor found. Last week he had the results of the Path report. Today, he met with the oncologist.

The pathology report gives the staging as T4b N2 Mx, which is not good. The literature I read gives him chances of a 5-year survival at ~35%.

Fuck.

bernadette

well, 5 yrs is 5 yrs.

my husband's father got diagnosed with mulitple cancers & sent home to die. (it was too progressed for treatment)
one horribly agonizing month later, he was gone.

be supportive & help your dad keep a positive outlook! don't let him take the odds & percentages as a cold hard death sentence. don't you think that way either. the power of the mind is great.

enjoy as much time with him as possible so you'll have no regrets ever.

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cliche

Just a quick overview in case people are having trouble understanding the pathology report:

T - tells you how far the main tumour has gone. 4 in this case means that it is through the wall of the colon.
N - whether or not there was tumour found in nearby lymph nodes (part of the body's immune system). 2 means that there was tumour in a few.
M - whether or not the tumour has gone even further, to distant organs in the body. X means that this is currently unknown.


And as bernadette says; don't treat the numbers as a death sentence - all of us have only a limited time on this world and owe it to ourselves and everyone else to make the best out of it that we can. I hope it goes well.

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gonadman

Hey popo, you know the literature is based on a bell curve. Don't fixate on those numbers too much.

Your father was obviously blessed with a caring son, and I'm sure you have made him very proud. Be there for him, and for whatever he needs in the coming years

Some things in this world are so much more important than physical health.

Take Care

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-Carlos Castaneda

Rodney

My dad died of colon cancer. He'd had some signs that things were wrong for a couple of years, but he kept going to the VA because it was free -- he had insurance, but he was cheap -- and they kept telling him not to worry. Eventually, he switched to another doctor who diagnosed it correctly, but when they operated they found that the cancer had gotten through the colon wall and zapped his liver. Inoperable.

After the operation, I spoke with the surgeon and got the word: he had a 50/50 chance of surviving three years, even with chemo. Dad was not a guy who coped well with bad news, so when he asked me for the word, I fudged; I told him he had three years, flat. But never underestimate the power of positive thinking; he made the three years with a few months to spare.

That said, not all that time was good time. He was pretty active up until the last six months or so, but the side effects of the chemo (sudden and explosive diarrhea, other things) really cut into his quality of life and really, in the long run, may not have prolonged his life all that much. This was 10 years ago, and chemo may have gotten better. But if they offer him chemo and it makes his life hell, my call would be to get off it and live a real life, a normal life, for as long as he can.

Anyway, my two cents. And you better believe I had my first colonoscopy a couple of years ahead of schedule (all clear, glad to say).

popo

Thanks guys, I appreciate the comments.

He starts chemo this week, and I'm going to visit in a month.

jumpingbeans

He will Pull through! I will give out some positive vibes & thoughts......

Best wishes

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FastShark85

My dad was first diagnosed with prostate cancer. He had it removed and had beaten it. He then was diagnosed with lung cancer a couple years later, even though he had quit smoking 20 years earlier. The lung cancer had already spread to his brain and one of his arms. The arm was quite brittle and broke a couple weeks after they originally found the tumor is his lung. When the tried to repair the arm with a metal rod, he developed a blot clot and died in the hospital when the clot broke free and hit his lungs. From first diagnosis of the lung cancer to his death from the blood clot was about 2 months.

Don't waste any time seeing your dad. While I hope your dad has better luck than mine, it's a little-known fact that folks with progressed cancers often die from complications of the cancer like my dad did instead of the cancer itself.

In retrospect, I think my dad was spared a lot of the agony that would have been coming his way. Without the blood clot incident, he probably would only have had about 6 months, and the treatments he was receiving were painful and very unpleasant.

Best wishes to you and your dad.

Edit:

I should mention that I have a family friend who was diagnosed with a very rare form of aggressive cancer. She was told she wouldn't be around for more than a year. That was nearly 7 years ago. She's back to work and quite healthy now.

Rodney

One other thing; if you dad has trouble with the chemo but doesn't want to give it up... there's a large underground body of knowledge on the efficacy of marijuana in moderating some chemo symptoms. Do some research on the 'net if the time comes....