skizziks

would you rather spend money on actual things, like clothes, cars, gadgets, etc, or on experiences, like a fine meal, a trip to somewhere, something you can't put in a box and show people but have memories of?

Plan9

I enjoy experiences more than things. I'd rather pay for experiences.

Common sense but I'll drop this little tirade here anyway since it's my favorite:

Sure, things are a means to an end but they're a wholly necessary means.

Hard to separate the two in practice. Can't do much without material goods.

I mean, order to have many experiences, you have to have certain things.

Any worthwhile hobby involves the acquisition of various paraphernalia.

/rant

You can't have possessions without an experience or an experience without possessions.

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Whatever you can carry.

"You should not drink... and bake."

Prince

Depends on the experience. A fine meal is what it is, but I could eat at McD's and be just as full, and the next day it comes out just the same.

A threesome, now that might be an experience with a capital E.

Gadgets, I have found, I can enjoy repeatedly. I get immense enjoyment out of my iPod, more than I ever would have from the finest of meals. It really comes down to your definition of experiencing things. There are so many ways to do so.

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levite

Well, generally speaking, I go with experiences. I'd always rather do stuff or go places.

The big exception, though is books. I buy books. I want to buy more books. I love them. But, to be fair, I don't just collect them, I do read everything I buy. I have no problem spending money on books, though I would generally not freely spend a lot on other kinds of possessions, like clothes (never been a clothes horse) or ornamentation (I have a few silver earrings, a cheap shark's tooth on a leather string I wear on occasion, and my wedding ring. That's it. No bling, no watches, nothing), or fancy furniture or expensive cars (my dream is to afford a Prius), or whatnot.

But I like travelling. I like getaways and road trips. I like going to cultural events and such. I like taking my wife out to dinner at good restaurants. I like having people over for dinner and cooking for them, or meeting friends at pubs and wine bars, or having a few of my boys over and passing a bowl. Those are the kind of experiences I don't mind spending some money on....

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Dull sublunary lovers love,
Whose soul is sense, cannot admit
Absence, because it doth remove
That thing which elemented it.

(From "A Valediction: Forbidding Mourning" by John Donne)

genuinegirly

It's funny how life changes you. Last year I probably would have said travel. Othr than my nice car, I wouldn't have wanted any "stuff."

But the past year has changed me. I just signed a lease for a townhouse that is easily 2x as expensive/month as anything else I looked at. It's 3x the size of our current place. I'm even thinking about paint colors and pricing quality furniture. There came a point where I became sick of dealing with crappy stuff in my home and inadequate space. Dealing with breaking furniture and clutter has made my day-to-day uncomfortable and frustrating. There are some things that I'd rather not skimp on anymore.

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"Sometimes I have to remember that things are brought to me for a reason, either for my own lessons or for the benefit of others." Cynthetiq

"violence is no more or less real than non-violence." roachboy

Wandrin

I guess I prefer experiences. There are only so many possessions I can fit in my tiny little house on wheels. But when it is time to buy a "thing", I go for quality. When I replace a laptop computer, I buy the best that I can afford and always max out the memory, for example.

There is really nothing I like better than being parked on a bluff overlooking the Pacific Ocean and watching the sunset, or being at the little restaurant by the docks for the first day of crab season, or parked by the River of No Return when the salmon arrive each year after swimming upstream for a thousand miles from the ocean, or .....

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If ignorance is bliss then why are the ignorant so angry? - Shannon Wheeler

snowy

I like experiences, but I also like comfort in my home life, and as 9er pointed out, there are certain things you cannot enjoy in life without acquiring possessions. Take backpacking, for example. I couldn't do it if I didn't have a quality backpack, a good sleeping bag, a tent, boots, water bottles, water filter, stove, trekking poles, etc. In fact, we have one corner of our basement solely dedicated to our backpacking and backcountry skiing equipment, because it does take a lot of things to really do these activities and be well-prepared as well as comfortable.

Cooking is another one. I love to cook and to bake. As such, I own a lot of things related to these activities, like a KitchenAid stand mixer (wedding present). I use it every week to bake bread, among other things. Owning it has encouraged me to pursue making breads I've never tried before--experiences. In fact, I started a whole thread about my baking experiences, because I wanted to see who else here enjoyed bread baking as much as I do.

So for me, I'd say I seek a balance between the two. I don't like to own crap. I do own crap, but a lot of that is due to staying in one place for too long, and needing to divest myself of said crap. I'd prefer to only own things I use. We'll see if I can reach that point sometime.

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If I am not better, at least I am different. --Jean-Jacques Rousseau

Plan9

Umm, Charlatan hasn't posted in this thread yet.

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Whatever you can carry.

"You should not drink... and bake."

Zeraph

I like buying things that get me experience. Such as an ipod, like someone mentioned above. It lets me experience music anywhere, in a much more convenient way. Or a computer that lets me read things like the TFP, and get an experience from such. So basically I'm not rich and like to get the best bang for my buck.

StanT

Experiences; but ... sometimes possessions are a prerequisite.

I love to listen to music; a nice stereo system is a means to that end.
I love to hike; a high end backpack, rain gear, and boots make it much more pleasant.
I love to ride my motorcycle; gotta own one to do that.
Skiing is the passion; gear is the means.

Baraka_Guru

I go to the library. That way, I spend money on neither possessions nor experiences.

But I do acknowledge that the two are often connected, whether money is required or not.

__________________
Knowing that death is certain and that the time of death is uncertain, what's the most important thing?
—Bhikkhuni Pema Chödrön

Humankind cannot bear very much reality.
—From "Burnt Norton," Four Quartets (1936), T. S. Eliot

Zeraph

That's a good one. Another +1 for library! <3

EventHorizon

i'm about to spend some money on an object that will be quite an experience just to own: a short 21 passenger school bus. except that i can already tell that this thing is going to be the means to many an experience rebuilding it and then roadtripping with it

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Does Marcellus Wallace have the appearance of a female canine? Then for what reason did you attempt to copulate with him as if he were a female canine?

Quote:

Originally Posted by canuckguy Pretty simple really, do your own thing as long as it does not fuck with anyone's enjoyment of life.

Ourcrazymodern?

A world full of experiences without money would be nice. Possessions become inheritances... What does that tell? To me it says that money is a lie. We will do better, eventually. So? Spending money on experiences profits you more than holding closely whatever you can buy that's material.

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BE JUST AND FEAR NOT

skizziks

minor details...

---------- Post added at 09:14 PM ---------- Previous post was at 09:09 PM ----------

yes...i can't have the experience of being high without a vaporizer.

but i can pay money to see a movie or a live band..i get an experience, but i have nothing to show for it (except a ticket stub)...i can pay money to eat at a cool restaurant...i can pay money to climb a mountain, i have to have shoes and ropes and crampons etc, but really after all is said and done, i have nothing to show for it but a dirty tent and dirty shoes.

or i can buy a cool motorcycle, i can buy a huge tv with surround sound, i can fill my living space with art and expensive fish and wildlife etc.

this is the difference i am asking.

snowy

---------- Post added at 08:15 PM ---------- Previous post was at 08:14 PM ----------

Can I plead lack of coffee at time of posting?

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If I am not better, at least I am different. --Jean-Jacques Rousseau

Ourcrazymodern?

The difference you are asking then becomes up to you, not to any of us. I'm interested that you'd couch it in these terms. If you spend a little more time thinking about what you want, you'll just buy it.

I hope you never find yourself penniless, or you will have to make up more real questions.

& what snowy said, & said. Peace & joy, skizziks!

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BE JUST AND FEAR NOT

Ourcrazymodern?

&, I forgot:

A place of being
is much more important than
a state of having.

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BE JUST AND FEAR NOT

ZombieSquirrel

Yes, for certain experiences you need specific items or gear. If you're spending money on just possessions that don't lead to an experience, only you being able to say you own it, then you may not have money leftover to get your gear.

Would I rather own a car that raises my social status or use the money for an epic trip? I'd rather go to Egypt. Maybe I'll use some of the money for new luggage and a new camera, but those possessions would would benefit me in my experience.

I always say if I found someone dumb enough to marry me, I'd want to save the money for my life with my partner. Sure I'd like a fun time with my friends and family, but I don't need an $8000 dress. Spending that money on food, booze, dj/band and photography would enhance my experience. The end result of being married is all I need. I dont need to prove anything with a fancy party. I also think eloping and getting married by Elvis would suit me just fine.

There's also the other part of me that has learned to buy things that remind me that I'm doing well professionally. I bought a coach purse with my first big girl paycheck. That in itself was an experience. I worked hard to progress in my career and I rewarded myself with a material possession, but I like it. I know the price of the purse could have gotten me a more rewarding experience, but the jobs I have had have been dealing with people of status. How I present myself in front of political leaders and donors is an important part of what I do. The development director jokes that we dress differently than the faculty we represent and we are easier to find in that crowd. I don't feel I should have to feel guilty for choosing a possesion over an experience. Call me a lemming,whatever. I like my purse and am thinking of getting a brown one too once I get back to work. I can't carry the black purse while wearing brown shoes. That's just tacky.

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Attack ZombieSquirrels

Charlatan

I am all for experiences. Possessions are over rated.

I would prefer to minimize the physical crap in my life. It's nearly all just clutter when it comes down to it.

This isn't to say that I don't have or desire possessions, it's just that given the choice between the two, experiences and possessions, I know what I'd choose. In the end, I am searching for a healthy balance between the two. Less crap and more quality possessions. Less time wasted and more quality experience.

I don't always succeed.

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"My hands are on fire. Hands are on fire. Ain't got no more time for all you charlatans and liars."
- Old Man Luedecke

Cynthetiq

I've learned to blend the experiences with the possessions. We have experiences that lend us to make purchases to acquire possessions that replace objects we already own.

Thus when traveling it is great to buy new clothing because we're always going to remember that we bought that shirt or these shoes in the Philippines.

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chinese crested

I hear you can pay for a Russian bride, and that that is an experience - chap down the road has been divorced by two of them now - he gave up on buying Thai ones - they kept leaving him.
The question of possessions or experiences. Well, the Mastiff pups ate through most of our possessions - including the virgin remote and the middle of a wall - so I guess I dont expect possessions to last - (I take in rescues - help them momentarily on their road in life). Experiences make memories - but I had brain surgery and my memory is - damaged or gone. So invest in a diary, and put photos in albums with notes to jog your memories in later years - so I guess that would mean a little of both - experiences for the memories and the ride, and the possession of personal records/ albums.

MSD

I try to balance it. I buy things, I buy tickets to events, but most of all I buy film. An indelible record of what has happened in front of the lens is worth 10,000 words.

Or whatever those in the photos will pay for the right to destroy the prints and negatives, which comes at no cost to those I hold dear and a few bucks to friends and friends of friends.

telekinetic

I pay for things that allow me to have experiences. Currently that means guns and ammunition so I can shoot, camping equipment so I can camp, board games so that I can play, and strollers so I can take my girls on walks. I don't own or collect anything that isn't experience-related.

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twisted no more

Lindy

I am sometimes appalled at what I spend on non durables. I guess they are more services than experiences. Cell phone. Cable TV. Broadband Internet. Car insurance and license. Snow removal & lawn service. Homeowners insurance and property taxes. I hate that, but then next month, I just pay them again. And really nothing to show for it. No increase in assets or net worth. No sense of high enjoyment.
As others have said, I do buy things for the sake of the experience that they provide. I play the upright bass, so of course I needed to by an upright bass. I like to cook, so I need cookware. I love to travel, but hate to fly, so my ten year old SAAB has nearly 200k miles on it. Oh, well. I shouldn't post when I feel whiney.

Lindy

soma

This thread takes me back to when I was a kid at the arcade, wondering: do I spend my tokens on playing games or earning tickets?

At the time I always chose to earn tickets, playing games always seemed like a wasteful use of money. Now that I'm older and I do enjoy spending my money on experiences, but I do still like buying stuff. I'm currently saving up for my dream car and one morning as I was browsing autotrader, I thought to myself, "I could sure buy a lot of vacations instead of buying this car". I still decided I would rather own the car, but the amount of vacations I could buy with the same amount of money would likely yield more satisfaction and enjoyment.

I guess I'm not the most rational person.

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CinnamonGirl

Like levite, my main material possession is books. I always want more books. I have a bag that says, "When I get a little money, I buy books; and if any is left, I buy food and clothes." Part of it, a very small part, is status-related: "look what I've read!" But most of it is that I just plain love books...how they feel, how they smell, and of course, what's written in them (and I'm one of those people who rereads everything several times-- I read the entire Chronicles of Narnia at least once a year, for example.)

Now, other than books (and, well, shelves, although I've been lucky enough to get the last few shelves for free), I'm all about experiences. I'd much rather go to a baseball game than get a new pair of shoes, and I'd rather walk on the beach than buy a new car.



Actually, let me edit that... we DID spend a lot of money on housey "stuff." I like my house to be comfortable. Not lavishly so, but I DO want it to be "homey."

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"...for though she was ordinary, she possessed health, wit, courage, charm, and cheerfulness. But because she was not beautiful, no one ever seemed to notice these other qualities, which is so often the way of the world."


"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?"

levite

Awesome! I love the sentiment, and I love the bag with the quote (Erasmus, right?)!

I also have one or two things that I read religiously every year, or a couple of times a year, even (not including, of course, actual religious texts, which I read a bit more often). Mostly Tolkien, whom I adore with unrelenting passion. But I am totally with you on the books, thing. It's good to hear someone else say it.

__________________
Dull sublunary lovers love,
Whose soul is sense, cannot admit
Absence, because it doth remove
That thing which elemented it.

(From "A Valediction: Forbidding Mourning" by John Donne)

filtherton

I'm with planny. In many instances, possessions exist to provide experiences. I like the experience of having a nice computer. I like the experience of driving a car. I like the experience of riding my bicycle. I like the experience of having well-designed things.

That being said, I do think that there are experiences that aren't worth the price and also that there are experiences that can't be bought.

Baraka_Guru

"Give me books, French wine, fruit, fine weather and a little music played out of doors by somebody I do not know." --John Keats

__________________
Knowing that death is certain and that the time of death is uncertain, what's the most important thing?
—Bhikkhuni Pema Chödrön

Humankind cannot bear very much reality.
—From "Burnt Norton," Four Quartets (1936), T. S. Eliot

filtherton

Oh fuck. Give me a fresh cup of light roast, a book on something nerdy, a cool breeze on a summer evening and the sounds of a city in the throes of existence.

Baraka_Guru

Or that.

__________________
Knowing that death is certain and that the time of death is uncertain, what's the most important thing?
—Bhikkhuni Pema Chödrön

Humankind cannot bear very much reality.
—From "Burnt Norton," Four Quartets (1936), T. S. Eliot

zenda

Strong +1 to the above, and I love this thread.
I think of stuff as vehicles to experience

Good rucksack-trolley = carry things well
Good monitor = give instant pleasure and reduced hassle when colour-correcting for printing.

Stuff = points in workflow of activity
[camera->computer->software->monitor->printer->daylight bulbs shining on print-on-wall.] = "Zenda's photography"

Good Stuff = OPTIMISE points of workflow
eg upgrade to daylight balanced bulbs.



"Zenda's Photography" becomes an 'Invisible stuff' in an existential workflow

[Go-out-walk-health-see-feel-breathe-IN -->
Process-look-at-pictures-improve-pictures IMPROVES SEEING/RESPONDING -->
Go-out-walk ETC PLUS IMPROVED SEEING/RESPONDING]=part of "Zenda's Being Flow"

Good Invisible Stuff = Optimise invisible parts of workflow
eg improve photographic skills.


Another loop:
Stuff informs experience: More lenses, you can take more things well.
Experience informs stuff: See more things, realise more lenses needed.


Lindy's response triggered off some pain in me .......
There are times when all the above is, for me, dead. She said they become 'services' which one finds oneself living to maintain. For me, it can be "Yes I can go photography and have the gear to output pictures and COULD to out to do it", or "Computer is good, it will not be a bottleneck in what I want to do ... and I am paying for the room in which I sit with it, and for the broadband etc"

....... and I have two strands of association.
One: I realise that PURPOSE needs to be there "Good car and I'm a good driver, now where do I want to go?" and "Regardless of the vehicle at my disposal, why do I want to go there in the first place?"
Two: I go Uh Oh ... and have a backstop position: I've chosen things which enhance my 'bare necessities' life as well as my 'preferred activities' - then, in a weird way of thinking, I 'can't lose' EVEN on a bad day.

Here's How: this computer monitor is 'photo process' spec, and I get a distant warm glow as I write to you, at the same time as knowing that I am not experiencing the squinting pain I used to when writing to my friends with the old monitor. My Wheeled Rucksack Trolley WOWWWW - it is storage-transport-container to die for! I have two brief 'staying away from home' periods a year, and when i do, then LUXURY. However, it is my UBER-LEET SHOPPING TROLLEY too. It's sense of 'value in my life' never fades, because it is constantly reaffirmed, as is this monitor, even though I am not using it for photography at this moment.


Another 'bad - 'I got these things' day remedy for me is to ask "OK, So what's it like is DIDN'T have these, now?", then IMMEDIATELY remind myself "I Do have them!"

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ZENDA

ola

Both experiences and material gives me satisfaction. Material helps to give me enjoyment in my life around work and get more out of experiences. For example, a good camera gives you more memories from a trip. Looking back at old footage gives me a smile and a warm fuzzy feeling. A cellphone with GPS can be very helpful on the road and enjoyable in your average life.
A bigger tv could also give you (cinema like) experiences. But experiences like wandering in the streets of a ex east bloc city in the middle of the night with a drunken homeless guy feels very different.
There is a certain balance that i like when it comes to this question.


Im not happy with my current life at all. I have whatever crap i need, but now im fed up with my job (or maybe more with the job providing company itself), i don't have a girlfriend and my friends are separeting from me. I would really like to just travel around and live in hostels and meet new people at the moment.

Back in 2008 i thought i had it all figured out. I wanted to work 6-9 months a year and travel the rest. I was pretty low with the money when i came back home in spring 08 and was going to go somewhere again when the winter comes.
It was the year when recession came and i got scared that it would be hard to get a job again and also i wanted to fix other parts of my life, so i decided to work till next year or after that and collect some money along.
I ended up just spending money during that time. A better car. tv, bicycle and so on. Making it more enjoyable to stay at home.


It's only few more weeks before my summer holiday starts. Im counting on experiences like traveling around europe, bungee jumping and gliding to keep me going.