So, I have a tapeworm...

[Plan9]

Snooty bastard. His name is George.

...

Okay, so I don't actually a tapeworm... but why the fuck am I constantly hungry?

I just had dinner an hour ago. It was sensible and filling... like my sex life as of late. The menu was grilled chicken with steamed rice and beets and chocolate milk. I ate until I was full, which is more-than-normal helping. But now I'm eating half a box of animal crackers and the fancy pants Kashi granola bars sitting next to 'em are sweating like a homo in Uganda. *Edit: I'm eating another Clif bar as I update this post.*

I swear I could eat all day every day. Ma, the MEATLOAF! Bowls of cereal, granola bars, fruit, car parts, small children, etc.

I've been the same weight since I put on what meager muscle mass I could in my early 20s. I don't eat junk food. I eat a no-messin'-around large breakfast every day with eggs and meat and peanut butter. It's not like I'm super ripped from 8 hours in the gym every day nor is it a case of me skipping meals. I do bust my ass every day at this job where I'm outside in the 110 heat but that necessitates more on the water and electrolytes end.

How many goddamn calories do I need in a day so my stomach stops whining like a fat kid on a treadmill?

I am a family of four with one mouth. This is my condition. What is my solution? Am I doomed to eating like Slimer for the rest of my life, Egon?

Anybody got any good jokes involving tapeworms?

[The_Jazz]

Tapeworm: replacing smooth spots since 2010.





I got nothin'.

[Fotzlid]

Have you been checked for hyperthyroidism?

[G5_Todd]

I am similiar to you I can eat all day long, unless I miss a meal I don't eat huge meals though...I also don't eat junk food...I think if you are an active person your metabolism just goes faster all day long, I just ate 1/4lb of turkey on rice 45 minutes ago and I am hungry again...

[Willravel]

[Xerxys]

"So, I have a tampon ..."

[LordEden]

"Baby, I'm hungry!"

I swear I tell my gf that at least every other hour.

[Lady Bear Cub]

I heard that if you aren't drinking enough water you tend to be hungrier. Most people are dehydrated, try drinking a glass of water instead of eating more. As for more serious medical reasons, I don't have a clue.

[dlish]

join the club. must have been the meat you ate when you were overseas? a lot of the meat in the middle east has tapeworms. you need to make sure its thoroughly cooked through. no joke.

my twin brother is a big black guy that weights 30% more than i do, and i can still out eat him any day of the week. i wouldnt be surprised if i did have tapeworms.

[Plan9]

Originally Posted by Lady Bear Cub

I heard that if you aren't drinking enough water you tend to be hungrier. Most people are dehydrated, try drinking a glass of water instead of eating more.

I drink plenty. Due to my job and the climate I'm drinking about 6-8 large bottles of water a day. I'm ejecting clear fluids from my skin and my bladder constantly. I'm pretty sure I'm going to develop a thumb-shaped callus on wang from the large quantity of short calls.

...

Originally Posted by dlish

join the club. must have been the meat you ate when you were overseas? a lot of the meat in the middle east has tapeworms. you need to make sure its thoroughly cooked through. no joke.

I don't eat the local meat. I was staring at the delicious hunks of lamb on the street corner outside the hotel a while back though.

[Jove]

Do you exercise for more than an hour?

[Plan9]

Well, my job is like:

Wait four hours... GO GO GO for like 20-30 minutes. Then wait. Then GO GO GO. Rinse in buckets of sweat. Repeat. 24/7 and at random times.

[MSD]

If you're still hungry after eating plenty, your body is probably trying to alert you to some sort of nutritional deficiency.

[Plan9]

Hmmm... I haven't had chocolate in weeks.

[Hektore]

I would say as long as you're maintaining weight, don't worry about it too much. If your job is really that physical you could easily need 4000+ calories per day and not much can be reduce your intake.

Case in point: Back in college(aka The Day) a nutrition class project in which we kept as complete of a food diary as we could manage happened to coincide with the start of rugby season. I averaged just over 3700 calories per day consumed, lost 4 lbs over those two weeks and rugby practice was just under 3 hours per day.

If you're concerned about a deficiency; keep a food diary. You could use one online like Nutrition facts, calories in food, labels, nutritional information and analysis – NutritionData.com , which i think is still free and will do the calculations for you. It's just up to you to accurately record what you eat.

[Baraka_Guru]

I worked on a book by an ultramarathoner. The guy runs 250-km races through desert and jungle. (For anyone keeping score, a 250 km is equal to 6 marathons.)

Anyway, guys like him consume as much as 10,000 calories or more in a day while training and racing.

One of these guys, an American, has a system. Check it out:

You wouldn't believe the stuff Karnazes consumes on a run. He carries a cell phone and regularly orders an extra-large Hawaiian pizza. The delivery car waits for him at an intersection, and when he gets there he grabs the pie and rams the whole thing down his gullet on the go. The trick: Roll it up for easy scarfing. He'll chase the pizza with cheesecake, cinnamon buns, chocolate éclairs, and all-natural cookies. The high-fat pig-out fuels Karnazes' long jaunts, which can burn more than 9,000 calories a day. What he needs is massive amounts of energy, and fat contains roughly twice as many calories per gram as carbohydrates. Hence, pizza and éclairs.

Wired 15.01: The Perfect Human

9er, as long as you aren't wasting away, have no actual tapeworm, have no thyroid problems, then you're doing just fine.

Maybe eat more fat and fibre if you want to go longer without getting hungry.

[Xerxys]

I've been dewormed before. The pills they give you make EVERYTHING taste like crap.

[dlish]

Originally Posted by Baraka_Guru

I worked on a book by an ultramarathoner. The guy runs 250-km races through desert and jungle. (For anyone keeping score, a 250 km is equal to 6 marathons.)

Anyway, guys like him consume as much as 10,000 calories or more in a day while training and racing.

One of these guys, an American, has a system. Check it out:
Wired 15.01: The Perfect Human

9er, as long as you aren't wasting away, have no actual tapeworm, have no thyroid problems, then you're doing just fine.

Maybe eat more fat and fibre if you want to go longer without getting hungry.

and legumes...just tell the mrs in advance that she'll need to open the bedroom windows overnight.

[777]

Well Plan9, maybe your extracurricular activities are burning lots of calories, and your appetite has increased to balance it out.

[Plan9]

I'm guessing the constant masturbation isn't helping.

[The_Jazz]

Originally Posted by Plan9

I'm guessing the constant masturbation isn't helping.

Masturbating inside a hot blonde's vagina is called "sex".

[Plan9]

Yeah, too bad my dick isn't 8000 miles long, huh?

[dlish]

no, thats the length of that tapeworm crawling around in your intestines