Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community - View Single Post

Plan9 · 10-02-2010, 10:24 AM

Snooty bastard. His name is George.

...

Okay, so I don't actually a tapeworm... but why the fuck am I constantly hungry?

I just had dinner an hour ago. It was sensible and filling... like my sex life as of late. The menu was grilled chicken with steamed rice and beets and chocolate milk. I ate until I was full, which is more-than-normal helping. But now I'm eating half a box of animal crackers and the fancy pants Kashi granola bars sitting next to 'em are sweating like a homo in Uganda. *Edit: I'm eating another Clif bar as I update this post.*

I swear I could eat all day every day. Ma, the MEATLOAF! Bowls of cereal, granola bars, fruit, car parts, small children, etc.

I've been the same weight since I put on what meager muscle mass I could in my early 20s. I don't eat junk food. I eat a no-messin'-around large breakfast every day with eggs and meat and peanut butter. It's not like I'm super ripped from 8 hours in the gym every day nor is it a case of me skipping meals. I do bust my ass every day at this job where I'm outside in the 110 heat but that necessitates more on the water and electrolytes end.

How many goddamn calories do I need in a day so my stomach stops whining like a fat kid on a treadmill?

I am a family of four with one mouth. This is my condition. What is my solution? Am I doomed to eating like Slimer for the rest of my life, Egon?

Anybody got any good jokes involving tapeworms?

10-02-2010, 10:24 AM	#1 (permalink)
Plan9 I Confess a Shiver	So, I have a tapeworm... Snooty bastard. His name is George. ... Okay, so I don't actually a tapeworm... but why the fuck am I constantly hungry? I just had dinner an hour ago. It was sensible and filling... like my sex life as of late. The menu was grilled chicken with steamed rice and beets and chocolate milk. I ate until I was full, which is more-than-normal helping. But now I'm eating half a box of animal crackers and the fancy pants Kashi granola bars sitting next to 'em are sweating like a homo in Uganda. Edit: I'm eating another Clif bar as I update this post. I swear I could eat all day every day. Ma, the MEATLOAF! Bowls of cereal, granola bars, fruit, car parts, small children, etc. I've been the same weight since I put on what meager muscle mass I could in my early 20s. I don't eat junk food. I eat a no-messin'-around large breakfast every day with eggs and meat and peanut butter. It's not like I'm super ripped from 8 hours in the gym every day nor is it a case of me skipping meals. I do bust my ass every day at this job where I'm outside in the 110 heat but that necessitates more on the water and electrolytes end. How many goddamn calories do I need in a day so my stomach stops whining like a fat kid on a treadmill? I am a family of four with one mouth. This is my condition. What is my solution? Am I doomed to eating like Slimer for the rest of my life, Egon? Anybody got any good jokes involving tapeworms? Last edited by Plan9; 10-02-2010 at 10:30 AM..