How To Give A Good Massage? Tips? Advice? - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

soma · 09-29-2009, 08:15 PM

I'm going over to this one girl's place tomorrow and she specifically requested that she wanted a massage. I still haven't figured out if this will lead to anything more (

), but I want to make sure I don't screw things up if that's a possibility.

I gave a massage to my ex once, and she hated it, so now I'm a little self conscious about my massage giving abilities. I've searched on youtube and google, but most of what I found was giving massages with the other person lying down face down on a massage table which is something I won't have.

What I want to learn is how to give a massage to another person while they're seated and you're behind them. I guessing at least some of you out there are good at this sort of thing and could maybe point me in the right direction. I don't know what to do specifically with my hands, what to touch, what to rub, etc.

The_Jazz · 09-30-2009, 05:02 AM

Well.....

My first suggestion was going to be to show up naked wearing only a cock ring and see where it goes from there, but then I looked at your little emoticon in your post and saw how freaked out you were and decided to spare you my usual douchebag response. Or did I?

Redlemon is a professional masseur, so I'm willing to bet he'll have protips for you, but I can contribute some here. If she's seated and your behind her you have multiple options, some of which can lead to the old e-er, e-er (sorry, making sweaky bed sounds is difficult in type). If that's what you're after, then I'd focus on her neck and scalp. I've had multiple successes from focusing on those areas (either that or those girls had already decided where things were going and used it as an excuse, which is really what's going to happen for you). Shoulders and backs are good, especially if she's got larger breasts (back issues). Don't be afraid to ask her if you're doing it too hard or too soft. Personally I prefer to be in pain when I'm getting a "real" massage (as opposed to a booty-call massage), but a lot of people hate that. You should also ask her where to focus if this is a platonic massage.

Good luck!

Iliftrocks · 09-30-2009, 05:28 AM

Warm hands. You can wash your hands thoroughly in hot water beforehand. Ask her where she is tense and start rubbing there. Try light at first then apply more pressure. ALWAYS ask if it's too much pressure. Communication is a good thing here, because some people will just let you keep bruising them out of embarrassment, and then won't ever ask for another massage again. Don't push hard on hard surfaces, be gentle around joints and spine. I'd start on bigger muscles and then work your way down to smaller muscles.

If you have bare skin to rub, and the luxury of privacy, some good rubbing oil or lotion can be helpful. Not good for clothes.

Redlemon · 09-30-2009, 07:10 AM

Hi! (Jazz, the preferred phrase is 'massage therapist'. It's a licensing thing.)

The problem with "seated in a chair" is that you can hardly reach anything except the upper shoulders. See if she has a chair without a back (e.g., a stool or a bench). If so, put a pillow on the table for her to rest her arms and head on. If not, flip the chair around so she is facing the back of it, and put a pillow on the back and top of the chair for her to rest against.

Since you don't have much experience, I'd say friction would be your best stroke. Place your hand just firmly enough that it won't slide over her clothes or skin. Move your hand back and forth so that you feel that you are moving her muscles. Once you have that feel, speed the friction up to about 3 times per second. (Note; this is a bit invigorating. It can also be done slower for a more sedating feel.) Keep that going for about 30 seconds, then move on to the next spot. You can use this on the entire back, from the shoulders down to the sacrum. Practice this on yourself; your thigh and the front of your shoulder are good places to experiment. This stroke can put a nice amount of heat into muscles and joints.

If she finds the shaking of this to be too much, you can switch to using the pinky sides of your hands with your hands facing each other. Friction one hand in one direction while the other goes in the other direction, and alternate. Same speed as before That will also be a good move for along the top of the shoulders.

You can finish up with effleurage. Effleurage is smooth, even, gliding strokes. Take about 3 seconds to glide down her whole back (one hand on each side of the spine), working the whole back in successive passes.

The fewer layers she has on, the better; you want to massage her skin, not her sweater. This can work to your advantage, wink wink nudge nudge knowhatimean?

Let me know if you have any other questions.

dlish · 09-30-2009, 09:58 AM

any chick that you dont know so well that asks you for a massage isnt going to want the service that redlemon provides.

so go in there as jazz said, with nothing but a cockring and some lube. anything you do to her after that will relax her muscles to no end, even if you dont think so.

Redlemon · 10-01-2009, 04:56 AM

OK, it's the next morning. We need to know how your evening went.

/taps fingers impatiently

soma · 10-01-2009, 09:59 AM

Yes of course, an update. Sigh...

Ok, well things were frustratingly platonic. I was going into it expecting it to be platonic, then she did some things that made me think that it wouldn't be platonic, but then it turned out to be platonic.

1. Drive to her place expecting nothing to happen, even after reading your posts (platonic? probably yes)
2. I arrive, her kid sisters are at her place, she seems like she's in a rush to get them out of there. (platonic? hmm maybe not)
3. She comes back, and we go into her bedroom to watch TV on her bed, we're all alone (platonic? hmmm maybe not...)
4. There is alchohol and she encourages me to drink (platonic? Hmmmmm maybe not...)
5. I made a couple advances, but was not feeling it from her at all (platonic? Hmmm maybe.. )
6. Nothing happened, went home disappointed. (platonic? yes. fail.)

I'm a little dumbfounded now.

Cervantes · 10-01-2009, 10:05 AM

The basics are pretty simple, slow even circular motions, stay away from the bones and only focus on the soft tissue, start softly and gradually increase the pressure but make sure you have an ongoing dialog with her so you know when you are getting a bit too rough, or going a bit too fast.

Intimate massage (the kind you do as a couple as opposed to the one you get at a massage parlor (a real one that is)) is much more about making your partner feel good rather than working out any knots and tensions.

The_Jazz · 10-01-2009, 10:14 AM

You probably had the cock ring on backwards. That's a deal killer for a lot of girls.

But how was the MASSAGE?!

Xerxys · 10-01-2009, 10:40 AM

I know derailing threads is bad but I gotta ask ... I wonder how people "expect nothing to happen". When I go to the grocery store I always expect to get some. When I chew an apple naked on the computer seat thinking about ambrosia flowers I'm pretty sure i am expecting something less platonic. Right now I am at home knowing I will be late for work but I don't care and yet I am expecting some.

My point is, you wanted some, maybe you should have indicated so. Women hate being placated, they don't want you protecting their feelings because then you behave like someone you're not.

Now, soma, go to any streaming porn site and search for that video of the guy who makes the girl giggle and cum like a shower head using some sort of massage technique. Or better yet, I will find it for you ... brb.

The_Jazz · 10-01-2009, 10:42 AM

Xerxys, stop trying to steal my title as The Lowest Common Denominator!

Xerxys · 10-01-2009, 10:49 AM

Jesus Christ ... I am so disappointed in myself .. this is a new low in life.

NSFW | NSFW | NSFW | NSFW | NSFW

Redlemon · 10-02-2009, 06:26 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Xerxys

Jesus Christ ... I am so disappointed in myself .. this is a new low in life.

NSFW | NSFW | NSFW | NSFW | NSFW

NSFW, and yet... dull. There's also something about that guy's voice. I wouldn't be surprised if he had a basement full of dead ex-girlfriends.

Baraka_Guru · 10-02-2009, 06:40 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by soma

I'm a little dumbfounded now.

Chin up, champ!

Don't let this discourage you. I know for a fact that, for some, massage is--literally* without fail--an aphrodisiac.

You should really learn what you're doing.

*Yes, I am using this word literally.

wooÐs · 10-02-2009, 07:23 AM

I know this is after the fact, and I don't have time to read through thread but did anyone mention piano fingers??? MUST have piano fingers. Especially on the shoulders and upper arms. :drool:

ChilliNy · 10-02-2009, 10:43 AM

Have you spoken to her since? When I invite my boyfriend over to give me a massage, give him liquor, and let him in my room, this always results in a win! Perhaps shes just slow to warm up.

clavus · 10-05-2009, 01:23 PM

I've never seen it named before, but "piano fingers" is a great name for it. Put your fingers on her traps as if you were playing piano (arched, not flat). Press down with each finder, one at a time. Pinky, ring, middle, index. Keep doing this FIRMLY AND SLOWLY. It's good!

wooÐs · 10-05-2009, 09:03 PM

Make sure you use pressure with every finger. Not tapping. One of my favorite moves lol. I often do it to myself when I'm stressed - just cock my head to one side and finger away on the side of my neck and that hard muscley tensiony part.

09-29-2009, 08:15 PM	#1 (permalink)
soma Addict Location: USA	How To Give A Good Massage? Tips? Advice? I'm going over to this one girl's place tomorrow and she specifically requested that she wanted a massage. I still haven't figured out if this will lead to anything more ( ), but I want to make sure I don't screw things up if that's a possibility. I gave a massage to my ex once, and she hated it, so now I'm a little self conscious about my massage giving abilities. I've searched on youtube and google, but most of what I found was giving massages with the other person lying down face down on a massage table which is something I won't have. What I want to learn is how to give a massage to another person while they're seated and you're behind them. I guessing at least some of you out there are good at this sort of thing and could maybe point me in the right direction. I don't know what to do specifically with my hands, what to touch, what to rub, etc. __________________ Having Girl Problems?

09-30-2009, 05:02 AM	#2 (permalink)
The_Jazz Asshole Administrator Location: Chicago	Well..... My first suggestion was going to be to show up naked wearing only a cock ring and see where it goes from there, but then I looked at your little emoticon in your post and saw how freaked out you were and decided to spare you my usual douchebag response. Or did I? Redlemon is a professional masseur, so I'm willing to bet he'll have protips for you, but I can contribute some here. If she's seated and your behind her you have multiple options, some of which can lead to the old e-er, e-er (sorry, making sweaky bed sounds is difficult in type). If that's what you're after, then I'd focus on her neck and scalp. I've had multiple successes from focusing on those areas (either that or those girls had already decided where things were going and used it as an excuse, which is really what's going to happen for you). Shoulders and backs are good, especially if she's got larger breasts (back issues). Don't be afraid to ask her if you're doing it too hard or too soft. Personally I prefer to be in pain when I'm getting a "real" massage (as opposed to a booty-call massage), but a lot of people hate that. You should also ask her where to focus if this is a platonic massage. Good luck! __________________ "They that can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety." - B. Franklin "There ought to be limits to freedom." - George W. Bush "We have met the enemy and he is us." - Pogo

09-30-2009, 05:28 AM	#3 (permalink)
Iliftrocks Junkie Location: Near Raleigh, NC	Warm hands. You can wash your hands thoroughly in hot water beforehand. Ask her where she is tense and start rubbing there. Try light at first then apply more pressure. ALWAYS ask if it's too much pressure. Communication is a good thing here, because some people will just let you keep bruising them out of embarrassment, and then won't ever ask for another massage again. Don't push hard on hard surfaces, be gentle around joints and spine. I'd start on bigger muscles and then work your way down to smaller muscles. If you have bare skin to rub, and the luxury of privacy, some good rubbing oil or lotion can be helpful. Not good for clothes. __________________ bill hicks - "I don't mean to sound bitter, cold, or cruel, but I am, so that's how it comes out."

09-30-2009, 07:10 AM	#4 (permalink)
Redlemon Devoted Donor Location: New England	Hi! (Jazz, the preferred phrase is 'massage therapist'. It's a licensing thing.) The problem with "seated in a chair" is that you can hardly reach anything except the upper shoulders. See if she has a chair without a back (e.g., a stool or a bench). If so, put a pillow on the table for her to rest her arms and head on. If not, flip the chair around so she is facing the back of it, and put a pillow on the back and top of the chair for her to rest against. Since you don't have much experience, I'd say friction would be your best stroke. Place your hand just firmly enough that it won't slide over her clothes or skin. Move your hand back and forth so that you feel that you are moving her muscles. Once you have that feel, speed the friction up to about 3 times per second. (Note; this is a bit invigorating. It can also be done slower for a more sedating feel.) Keep that going for about 30 seconds, then move on to the next spot. You can use this on the entire back, from the shoulders down to the sacrum. Practice this on yourself; your thigh and the front of your shoulder are good places to experiment. This stroke can put a nice amount of heat into muscles and joints. If she finds the shaking of this to be too much, you can switch to using the pinky sides of your hands with your hands facing each other. Friction one hand in one direction while the other goes in the other direction, and alternate. Same speed as before That will also be a good move for along the top of the shoulders. You can finish up with effleurage. Effleurage is smooth, even, gliding strokes. Take about 3 seconds to glide down her whole back (one hand on each side of the spine), working the whole back in successive passes. The fewer layers she has on, the better; you want to massage her skin, not her sweater. This can work to your advantage, wink wink nudge nudge knowhatimean? Let me know if you have any other questions. __________________ I can't read your signature. Sorry.

09-30-2009, 09:58 AM	#5 (permalink)
dlish Currently sour but formerly Dlishs Super Moderator Location: Australia/UAE	any chick that you dont know so well that asks you for a massage isnt going to want the service that redlemon provides. so go in there as jazz said, with nothing but a cockring and some lube. anything you do to her after that will relax her muscles to no end, even if you dont think so. __________________ An injustice anywhere, is an injustice everywhere I always sign my facebook comments with ()()===========(}. Does that make me gay? - Filthy

10-01-2009, 04:56 AM	#6 (permalink)
Redlemon Devoted Donor Location: New England	OK, it's the next morning. We need to know how your evening went. /taps fingers impatiently __________________ I can't read your signature. Sorry.

10-01-2009, 09:59 AM	#7 (permalink)
soma Addict Location: USA	Yes of course, an update. Sigh... Ok, well things were frustratingly platonic. I was going into it expecting it to be platonic, then she did some things that made me think that it wouldn't be platonic, but then it turned out to be platonic. 1. Drive to her place expecting nothing to happen, even after reading your posts (platonic? probably yes) 2. I arrive, her kid sisters are at her place, she seems like she's in a rush to get them out of there. (platonic? hmm maybe not) 3. She comes back, and we go into her bedroom to watch TV on her bed, we're all alone (platonic? hmmm maybe not...) 4. There is alchohol and she encourages me to drink (platonic? Hmmmmm maybe not...) 5. I made a couple advances, but was not feeling it from her at all (platonic? Hmmm maybe.. ) 6. Nothing happened, went home disappointed. (platonic? yes. fail.) I'm a little dumbfounded now. __________________ Having Girl Problems?

10-01-2009, 10:05 AM	#8 (permalink)
Cervantes Psycho Location: Above you	The basics are pretty simple, slow even circular motions, stay away from the bones and only focus on the soft tissue, start softly and gradually increase the pressure but make sure you have an ongoing dialog with her so you know when you are getting a bit too rough, or going a bit too fast. Intimate massage (the kind you do as a couple as opposed to the one you get at a massage parlor (a real one that is)) is much more about making your partner feel good rather than working out any knots and tensions. __________________ - "Philosophy is questions that may never be answered. Religion is answers that may never be questioned.." - "Religions take everything that your DNA naturally wants to do to survive and pro-create and makes it wrong." - "There is only one absolute truth and that is that there is only one absolute truth."

10-01-2009, 10:14 AM	#9 (permalink)
The_Jazz Asshole Administrator Location: Chicago	You probably had the cock ring on backwards. That's a deal killer for a lot of girls. But how was the MASSAGE?! __________________ "They that can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety." - B. Franklin "There ought to be limits to freedom." - George W. Bush "We have met the enemy and he is us." - Pogo

10-01-2009, 10:40 AM	#10 (permalink)
Xerxys Junkie Location: My head.	I know derailing threads is bad but I gotta ask ... I wonder how people "expect nothing to happen". When I go to the grocery store I always expect to get some. When I chew an apple naked on the computer seat thinking about ambrosia flowers I'm pretty sure i am expecting something less platonic. Right now I am at home knowing I will be late for work but I don't care and yet I am expecting some. My point is, you wanted some, maybe you should have indicated so. Women hate being placated, they don't want you protecting their feelings because then you behave like someone you're not. Now, soma, go to any streaming porn site and search for that video of the guy who makes the girl giggle and cum like a shower head using some sort of massage technique. Or better yet, I will find it for you ... brb.

10-01-2009, 10:42 AM	#11 (permalink)
The_Jazz Asshole Administrator Location: Chicago	Xerxys, stop trying to steal my title as The Lowest Common Denominator! __________________ "They that can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety." - B. Franklin "There ought to be limits to freedom." - George W. Bush "We have met the enemy and he is us." - Pogo

10-01-2009, 10:49 AM	#12 (permalink)
Xerxys Junkie Location: My head.	Jesus Christ ... I am so disappointed in myself .. this is a new low in life. NSFW \| NSFW \| NSFW \| NSFW \| NSFW

10-02-2009, 07:23 AM	#15 (permalink)
wooÐs Sitting in a tree Location: Atlanta	I know this is after the fact, and I don't have time to read through thread but did anyone mention piano fingers??? MUST have piano fingers. Especially on the shoulders and upper arms. :drool:

10-02-2009, 10:43 AM	#16 (permalink)
ChilliNy Upright	Have you spoken to her since? When I invite my boyfriend over to give me a massage, give him liquor, and let him in my room, this always results in a win! Perhaps shes just slow to warm up.

10-05-2009, 01:23 PM	#17 (permalink)
clavus pow! Location: NorCal	I've never seen it named before, but "piano fingers" is a great name for it. Put your fingers on her traps as if you were playing piano (arched, not flat). Press down with each finder, one at a time. Pinky, ring, middle, index. Keep doing this FIRMLY AND SLOWLY. It's good! __________________ Ass, gas or grass. Nobody rides for free.

10-05-2009, 09:03 PM	#18 (permalink)
wooÐs Sitting in a tree Location: Atlanta	Make sure you use pressure with every finger. Not tapping. One of my favorite moves lol. I often do it to myself when I'm stressed - just cock my head to one side and finger away on the side of my neck and that hard muscley tensiony part.