redsneaker

This is more I guess regarding acquaintances or work related than really personal close relationships.

Have you ever had anyone hell bent on ruining you to in order for them to get ahead? Did they succeed? What did you do? How did you cope? How did it end?

I have been dealing with massive work-related betrayal for going on 3 years now. I have picked myself up, dusted myself off, and started over, but I get so frustrated. Whenever I think I'm doing alright, it gets shoved in my face again. Everything I've lost. My family has lost. Seeing everything they gained in taking from me and my family makes me physically ill. How, despite their unethical decisions, they appear to be thriving. I know life isn't fair, but it really stinks.

While I would never ever want anyone to go through the same situation, if you have, it would be nice to know someone understands - or has even gotten past it.

Halanna

I can't answer your question(s) because I've never been in that situation.

But, is there nothing you can do? Document things and take it to a supervisor, boss or owner? Cell phone pictures, videocamera, documenting dates and times, anything?

No one else you work with knows what is going on?

Any possibility of finding a different company, making a lateral move?

dougalputt

This is such a bug bear for me! I had someone try to step on me but ended up getting caught out by my boss and fired! It can go either way so keep it clean and fair and you'll get to where you were supposed to get to in time - and honestly!

redsneaker

As far as "does anyone know?" - yes, many know and several suspect, but this person is slick and manipulative and has serious mental issues. Think sociopath. So while people do know, there isn't much that can be done about it - at least not yet. I'm waiting for her to give herself enough rope to hang herself. We do have some documentation, but not enough.

The person no longer works for us - but became the competition. So it's not as easy as just telling the boss and having them fired. I'm just ready for it to end. But I'm not quitting my job or closing my business, so it looks like I've got to find some way to not let it bother me.

KirStang

Did he sign a non-competition covenant prior to being employed?

Xerxys

^^ Say what? Those exist? You mean you can sign something to the tune of "I will not be a cunt at work?"

Willravel

Deliberate sabotage requires a proactive response. Most people that actively sabotage other people generally only have a few basic tactics in their bag of tricks, and once you have them listed they are easy to predict.

Say, for example, someone likes stealing your work. Do what any good 80s teen comedy proposes and set them up to take responsibility for shoddy work. Say that this person lies about you to your boss. Set them up to lie about something to someone that knows the accusations are false. Does she take things from your computer? Bring in a laptop from home that's password protected. Gossip? Gossip is about power, and a gossiper's power is in people's willingness to accept the gossip. Earn a sterling reputation with people she might gossip to and let them know that she's a gossip... problem solved. Stealing sales? Provide her a perfect opportunity to steal a sale and set her up to get caught doing it.

redsneaker

No non-compete, unfortunately. However, that is something that is taken care of with new employees now. Lessons learned.

Said person is a gossip whore. But her gossip is not based in truth, and is malicious. But she is SLICK. She is one of those who doesn't have to think about lying, it just rolls right out of her mouth as though it was the truth. And I think that makes people believe her, at least until she screws them over. And that is beginning to happen. It's great when people call us asking for her and we say no one by that name works here and we can proceed with their business needs!!

Ok so in the case of her gossiping - how do you make inroads with someone who thinks horrible things about you even if they are not based in truth? I try to be a nice, decent person. I have taken the stance that clients don't need to hear how much I despise this person, but perhaps they do need to know. I just don't want it to sound like sour grapes, as if I'm just whining that what she did wasn't fair. And discussing it always makes me feel that way.

I know in time things will work out. I am sure of it. It's just the now time that is so frustrating and difficult to deal with.

Thanks for listening everyone.

clavus

If a client brings her up, say the nicest thing you can about her in a way that conveys what you really feel.

"She's a very imaginative woman."

I've been betrayed a few times, once by a very successful, respected company owner. She flat out stole money from the company who employed me. When people mentioned her, I'd shake my head sadly and say, "Boy, it's really sad how she went so far downhill." People who asked for more info, got a very concise, 100% true tale of the event. But I told it like I felt bad for her. (I didn't. She is a cunt). She went out of business. I guess she couldn't steal enough to make ends meet.

I had a who laid off everybody with no notice and refused to pay us for the last two weeks we worked. I felt literally sick about this. Like I wanted to sleep and throw up at the same time. Now I am his competitor. His actions cost him WAY more than the little money he gained. You know what? I'm going to keep costing him money. Fuck that guy.

I had a client steal $35 grand from me. Then he went on to tell lies about how we tried to steal from him. It was really odd, and I still don't understand why. I'm still mad about it. I warn my competitors about him. I tell his friends and competitors what he did, but it hasn't changed anything, and I still don't feel better about it. I'm pissed typing this. His day will come.

__________________
Ass, gas or grass. Nobody rides for free.

yournamehere

I used to work with a guy who was the biggest backstabber I ever met. We would sit in the studio and talk over ideas, and I'd go back to work. 5 minutes later, in would walk one of our bosses, saying, "James just came to me with this great idea . . " and proceed to repeat exactly what I'd said 5 minutes ago. This guy would also run to the bosses and accuse me of all kinds of petty things - from playing video games on company time to trying to steal clients for side work - all things that he actually did. Whenever the big boss would talk to one of us on the phone, he would always want to talk to the other one of us, too - to save time. This guy knew that, so any day I was even a few minutes late for work, he'd be sure to call the boss about something, just for the chance to say, "Oh - he's not here yet."

There was no real payback on my part, but he was married to the most vile shrew you could imagine (everyone who knew her spoke of her as if "With a capital C" was actually part of her name), and with two "accidental" kids in just two years of marriage, he was miserable.

I left that company 5 years ago, but he's still married.

So Karma may be a bitch, but he's married to an even worse one.

__________________
If you want to avoid 95% of internet spelling errors:
"If your ridiculous pants are too loose, you're definitely going to lose them. Tell your two loser friends over there that they're going to lose theirs, too."
It won't hurt your fashion sense, either.

MSD

I've half-assed work that I knew would be claimed as someone else's or given only enough information to get something to the point that it looks right but has less obvious failure points.

You've probably heard of it, but if not, you would appreciate this story: The Farewell Dossier - The New York Times

Grancey

Been there redsneaker. I was miserable, and my supervisor was having a blast. She was in cahoots with her supervisor and he was in cahoots with his supervisor (head honcho), so there was no one to talk to about the problems.

I picked an ending date and at the appropriate time gave two weeks notice which happened to be the busiest crunch time for where I worked. The head honcho asked me if I would stay until after the holidays. I said no. After leaving the job, I moved to another state. I still get angry sometimes thinking about the way I was treated, but the memories are fading......
Hope things work out better for you.

__________________
Quiet, mild-mannered souls might just turn out to be roaring lions of two-fisted cool.

redsneaker

Hey everyone. I have a little update. Seems as though more and more people are starting to realize what a cunt this woman really is. And word is spreading back around to us. Sadly, some people still confuse us, and we have to state emphatically, that we have *nothing* to do with this other business and they are a mere copycat version. It's still extremely frustrating at times, but we just hired a new employee and she has great thoughts on ways to handle different situations. She's pretty active in the community too, so I think it will be an asset to have her on our team.

I really appreciate your stories, and the ways you dealt with it. Clavus - I especially like your statement "She's a very imaginative woman." That will work beautifully! Oh how I wish I could tell people how she lied about having cancer to gain clients, claimed her husband was screwing her daughter (while she was out screwing the rest of the city), all while plotting to steal someone's business. If I thought she wouldn't slam a defamation lawsuit on me, I'd sing it from the rooftops!