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Old 08-01-2009, 09:13 AM   #41 (permalink)
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Location: Atlanta
Quote:
Originally Posted by soma View Post
Absolutely.
You just have no idea how bad a guy like me is on the phone...


I know there are people out there like you but hours to prep? Wow. And I do know about feeling anxiety and stuff about something beforehand like a conversation or an interview or something, but it's been my experience that it's best not to over think things. A list of stuff to talk about seems great (I actually have a list of reasons for why I have to get off the phone if I'm in a bind and don't want to talk lol. Need to give my dog a bath, I'm marinating some chicken, etc.) I feel bad for you that you feel so anxious though.
Quote:
Originally Posted by soma View Post
...I decided to text her to tell her I had a good time and that maybe we could hang out again. She replied quickly and said that she too had a good time and would be willing to see me again some time. Now, I feel a little better, but ... well, I have to figure out where to go from here...
You obviously did something right here . You probably feel a bit more solid now. Yay you.
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Old 08-02-2009, 05:40 AM   #42 (permalink)
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Yeah, it's pretty bad now, but it was soooo much worse in high school
I can actually pass for somewhat normal in most respects now, but in high school, it was a whole different story
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Old 08-02-2009, 08:10 PM   #43 (permalink)
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Soma, your posts really resonated with me...I was the same way a few years ago, and though I've overcome it to some extent, I definitely still feel that sort of anxiety in certain situations.

But congrats on making a move! She's obviously into you - just be careful not to overthink small details (for example, if she doesn't respond to a particular text) as the end of the world.
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Old 08-03-2009, 05:28 AM   #44 (permalink)
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Merlin, what helped you overcome your anxiety issues? I'm in general trying to work on my confidence, but that's about it.
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Old 08-12-2009, 10:32 PM   #45 (permalink)
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Best and fastest way to overcome confidence issues is by talking to other people. Practice is key here. One of my favourites back in the day would be to go to a shopping mall and simply say 'hi' to everyone I passed. Sounds silly, but you'll be talking to people in no time. And be sure not to limit yourself on who you talk to, everyone has a story to tell and something to teach.
The time tested fallback for a lack of confidence, however, is to just fake it till you make it. Stand up straigher, smile, and keep your chin up and eyes looking around. Looking confident leads to feeling confident.

As for talking on the phone, something I learned while doing it every day at work is to smile while talking. Even on the phone, people can hear the smile in voice. It's great for making the person on the other end feel more comfortable, and you'll feel better because, hey, you're already smiling.
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Old 08-13-2009, 12:09 AM   #46 (permalink)
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Location: Atlanta
I too used to have terrible social anxiety. I ended up getting a part time job selling beauty products and that forced me to talk to strangers very quickly. I still have times when I feel a little awkward, but the whole "fake it til you feel it" works for me. Once I make a connection with one person, all my anxiety disappears and I'm fine.

Just keep making phone calls to her and whomever else you can. It will get easier!
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