archetypal fool

It's been a little while since I've been to TFP, but if there's one online community I know I can trust for good advice, it's right here.

Recently a girl I knew a few years back found me on Facebook and was really interested in hanging out again, which I found unusual because we were never really that close back then. Now we started hanging out for a little while, doing things with friends here and there, and in that time I've discovered that she's amazing, everything I could want in a woman and more. Not only that, she was always interested in hanging out where ever I was, sometimes going way out of her way to hang out... so I figured, maybe she feels something for me too?

So here's where I fucked things up, in true form. I was out partying with friends last night, getting all kinds of wasted (Spring Break has ended, but we needed another night to de-stress), when the topic of relationships came up, which always makes me feel like crap because I'm perhaps the least successful man on earth when it comes to women. The whole time I couldn't stop thinking about this girl, and, with help from my drunken friends, I'd decided that after sobering up I would have to make a move and let her know how I felt. That's when she called, out of the blue, and invited us to a small party at her place that night - beer pong, video games, and other stuff we're into. (didn't I say she was awesome?).

When we arrived, I was already drunk, but not drunk enough to decline beer pong (can you see where this is going?). An hour goes by, and I quit from exhaustion/total loss of coordination. In a spark of inebriate genius, and feeling pressured to tell her how I felt because of the discussion me and my friends had earlier, I asked her to the balcony to have a talk. Now, I don't remember words from here on (I'm sure they were inarticulate and exceptionally stupid)... but I remember being utterly crushed... and braking down emotionally right in front of her, tears and all. It was like this sudden flush of desperation and depression just flooded out of me, and I couldn't control it at all. Standing on the balcony and weeping in front of her is the last thing I remember until I woke up in my bed today. Fuck my life.

I know I fucked up, I shouldn't have told her how I felt when I was hardly able to stand from the drinking, but I haven't finished building my time machine yet. What the hell do I do now? I understand that she doesn't want to be with me, and I suppose I'm alright with that since there's really nothing I can do about it, but I don't want to lose her as a friend. How can the awkward residue of that night be overcome? I really don't want to be that pathetic guy that she'll be creeped out by forever.

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I have my own particular sorrows, loves, delights; and you have yours. But sorrow, gladness, yearning, hope, love, belong to all of us, in all times and in all places. Music is the only means whereby we feel these emotions in their universality. ~H.A. Overstreet

Glory's Sun

The only way to change the awkward feeling is to just man up and talk to her while you're sober. Tell her the honest truth and that while you were drunk, you do have feelings for her, but you're cool with being friends (if you are) and that you can separate your feelings and friends. If you can't separate the two, then you need to just man up and say that you can't hang out with her because it won't be fair to her.

Psycho Dad

Bingo.

There isn't much more to be added to the above post.

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Don't always trust the opinions of experts.

The_Jazz

Goddammit, when did YOU, of all people, become the voice of reason?

But seriously, well put, sir. I don't have anything to add except that this discussion is much better done sooner rather than later. And by sooner, I mean today, tomorrow tops, barring a trip to the hospital or morgue.

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"They that can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety." - B. Franklin
"There ought to be limits to freedom." - George W. Bush
"We have met the enemy and he is us." - Pogo

ratbastid

Shortest thread ever.

Willravel

Also, stop getting drunk.

Baraka_Guru

You beat me too it, but I didn't want to sound preachy.

At least, perhaps, make an attempt to not get so drunk.

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Knowing that death is certain and that the time of death is uncertain, what's the most important thing?
—Bhikkhuni Pema Chödrön

Humankind cannot bear very much reality.
—From "Burnt Norton," Four Quartets (1936), T. S. Eliot

Glory's Sun

didn't a similar thing happen in Superbad?

ratbastid

Aw geez, you didn't give her a black eye too, did you?

Just don't hope to run into her at the mall and have a happy-ending-fade-to-black, okay?

archetypal fool

guccilvr & The_Jazz: I figured that was the way to go. We went out and talked the day after I posted, and everything is settled out. She says she doesn't mind what happened and she dismissed it all anyways because of the circumstances. She said she doesn't think any different of me, which was my biggest concern. All I can do now is hope that was all true and not just patronization.

Once again, TFP saves the day.

Willravel & Baraka_Guru: I know, I know. Until this event, I've always made an effort to not get drunk beyond the point where I open up and become more talkative and animated, which is the only reason I drink in the first place. This time was different, Ever Clear was involved. I really underestimated the fact that it's almost twice as potent as most whiskey, which is what I'm used to. The whole thing was just a mistake, and it wouldn't have happened if not for that substitution. Lesson learned.

__________________
I have my own particular sorrows, loves, delights; and you have yours. But sorrow, gladness, yearning, hope, love, belong to all of us, in all times and in all places. Music is the only means whereby we feel these emotions in their universality. ~H.A. Overstreet