A thought on my self - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

-Anders · 06-27-2003, 11:54 AM

Am i weird?

Just some minutes ago after taking a walk with the dog i came home and sat in the garden, more specificly at the fish-pond.

I am 19 Years old, had my birthday the 2nd of june. I have been in a 'relationship' lately with an amazing girl
(ofcourse, they all are – otherwise we wouldnt be interested in them would we? Take a look at the link in my signature for more information on that)
And that have kind of changed my mind about some very fundamental things.

Sitting in the garden i thought to my self:

'This is nice, so quiet and still. I wish i could have my own garden like this, my own children and my own house.
My own wife and my own life, having a nice quiet life in the country, or better: In a small country town as the one i live in now.

I find the thought of this extremely appealing to me, even though i think it shouldnt.
I see a lot of people my age go to parties almost constantly, getting drunk sleeping with 10 different people each weekend.
I mean, sure that's what i am supposed to do aswell right? But i just dont feel that way, i love to sit at home and relax, listen to soothing music and talk, watch tv – or as now, sit in the garden and think.

I guess i should go to some parties once in a while, i mean – they are fun and all that, there's just things i'd rather do instead.

I think to my self, what have gone wrong with me?
Why do i want to settle at this early age?
Or is it not me, but everybody else that's wrong? Most likely not, as wrong and right is controlled by society, not me.

erion · 06-27-2003, 11:59 AM

Don't look upon it as "having settled."

If you have found a measure of inner tranquility, then you are at a level of being very few people in modern society seem to be able to attain.

Congfratulate yourself, and work toward those simple, yet enjoyable and attainable goals you seem to have set for yourself.

Realizing what's truly important to you and working towards achieving it is the best reward we can receive from this life.

That is, until you have kids. Then the rules change and they become the best reward you can receive from this life.

warmingup2prose · 06-27-2003, 12:59 PM

wrong and right *for you* are controlled *by you*. (unless it hurts someone else, i guess.) i know lots of girls who would love to hear something like that from their boyfriends...and even guys who would like to hear it from girls. i don't think you're alone in your thinking, but you're rare--in that good way. (not to say that people who think differently are bad...)

-Anders · 06-27-2003, 01:28 PM

I just got back from a walk, just before it got all to dark. It's 11:20 PM here now, you really should try that sometime if you dont do it already. It really freshens up the mind.

I have been thinking a bit about what you said erion, and it really helped to hear that.

warmingup2prose i kind of think so too, but unfourtantly not many my age think the same way - as i can tell by the amount of drunken people in the streets every weekend.
It would be nice to meet someone with the same idea's though, it's a shame it always has to be so hard.

And forks, i believe you posted in my other thread aswell, thank you for that

And thank you for the kind words here, i hope you are right, i may be missing out - but i have been partying a little, not much - and i suppose not the right places, as it was'nt all that fun.
Or perhaps that's just what it is, not really fun - but people get so absolutely hammered that they can't tell the difference between fun and .. well. Not fun.

Thank you again. It really helps every last bit of it.

rockzilla · 06-27-2003, 01:53 PM

At 25, I've done all the hard partying I ever really care to do. I've tried everything I've wanted to try, done everything I've wanted to do, and a lot of stuff I probably shouldn't have. I don't regret anything I've done, but there's nothing new for me to experience in the world of hedonism, so I've slowed down and mellowed out.
Erion's got it right in saying that the only thing that matters is realizing what's important to you and working towards what makes you happy. For me, that's a bottle or two of good wine, some close friends and hours of entertaining conversation. Go after what makes you happy, even if it isn't a case of beer and a bunch of cookie-cutter, brain-dead skanks.

lurkette · 06-27-2003, 02:12 PM

I think whatever feels right to you is right for you. If you have figured out at 19 what makes you happy, you have a huge advantage over most people and should be grateful. Start doing what it takes to get to that vision, and if on the way your vision of happiness changes, so be it - switch gears then. But don't second-guess yourself based on what "everyone else" is doing. I'm guessing "everyone else" is probably fucking miserable!

Slims · 06-28-2003, 02:05 AM

You aren't wierd. I once estimated that I would probably be dead before I was thirty five due to drugs, climbing dangerous routes, constant fights, fast driving, etc. and I never wanted to slow down. These days though, I find that I am not against the idea of a nice house and a family. Go figure. I am only 22.

I say suit yourself, but you might want to go have a few adventures before settling down and losing the opportunity.

ratbastid · 06-28-2003, 07:00 AM

Congratulations on being the most mature, centered, grounded 19-year-old I've ever met. There's nothing wrong with you that getting married, buying a house, and starting a garden won't cure

Mitzkrieg · 06-28-2003, 11:59 AM

in my opinion, it sounds to me like you've just matured faster than most kids your age have. I think its great. I didn't really have much direction of where I wanted to go in life until a couple years ago and I'm just about to turn 30. I wish I had more motivation for what I wanted back when I was your age. If I did I'd probably be a lot better off than I am now, financially speaking anyways(debts, house, etc.)

Aim high, shoot for what you want, don't procrastinate(something I'm doing now, which I should have done years ago) hope that helps.

Mondak · 06-28-2003, 01:46 PM

Don't have regrets though. I have seen them drive people crazy. Going out and meeting new people at social event or even parties does not mean that you have to sleep with 10,000 people or get wasted all the time. No one really gives a crap whether or not you are drinking. Att that age if someone wants you to have a whole bunch more than you want, they are just insecure.

Is it possible that saying that you don't want to do these things becuase you are uncomfortable around new people? I know I was. Then I drank a lot.

Now I am comfortable with my tendencies to be dorky and as soon as that happened, I started to become more comfortable around people in general.

*Nikki* · 06-28-2003, 01:57 PM

Some people party their whole life away. That is the way they want to live though. There is nothing wrong at all with your way. Whatever makes YOU happy is what is best. Who cares what others do??

Gman · 06-28-2003, 04:26 PM

Well, if it makes you feel any better, I'm 18 and I'm in the exact same position as you. ('cept the girlfriend part) A lot of my friends will drink and smoke it up about every month or so, but I just don't find that entertaining. I'd rather stay home and just talk and hang out.

RelaX · 06-29-2003, 12:43 PM

I know what you mean... isn't it good to be able to live with yourself instead of constantly chasing external stimuli?

-Anders · 07-04-2003, 09:37 AM

Thanks for the kind words everyone.
I've decieded to just go with what's best for my, and what suits me best, insted of chasing other people's dreams.

Stiltzkin · 07-12-2003, 06:13 PM

I have this same feeling come over me from time to time. I've been to exactly one drinking party, and I really didn't see what was so fun about it. Granted, I did not drink, but this was because I had to drive home. As of right now, I wish badly that I could finish my master's degree in computer science so I could start making money already. From there, I'll probably marry some woman because she wants my money-- I've never found "love" and probably never will, but lead programmers make good money

It's not weird to feel this way at a young age, it just isn't very common, apparently. What I really want is to have kids. At least one daughter, and at least one son. I want to see if I can be a better parent than mine, and I really mean this. Man... I need to go sulk for a little while... or not. And chase your own dreams, dude. If this is what you want, screw what everyone else is doing.

06-27-2003, 11:54 AM	#1 (permalink)
-Anders Custom title. Location: Denmark.	A thought on my self Am i weird? Just some minutes ago after taking a walk with the dog i came home and sat in the garden, more specificly at the fish-pond. I am 19 Years old, had my birthday the 2nd of june. I have been in a 'relationship' lately with an amazing girl (ofcourse, they all are – otherwise we wouldnt be interested in them would we? Take a look at the link in my signature for more information on that) And that have kind of changed my mind about some very fundamental things. Sitting in the garden i thought to my self: 'This is nice, so quiet and still. I wish i could have my own garden like this, my own children and my own house. My own wife and my own life, having a nice quiet life in the country, or better: In a small country town as the one i live in now. I find the thought of this extremely appealing to me, even though i think it shouldnt. I see a lot of people my age go to parties almost constantly, getting drunk sleeping with 10 different people each weekend. I mean, sure that's what i am supposed to do aswell right? But i just dont feel that way, i love to sit at home and relax, listen to soothing music and talk, watch tv – or as now, sit in the garden and think. I guess i should go to some parties once in a while, i mean – they are fun and all that, there's just things i'd rather do instead. I think to my self, what have gone wrong with me? Why do i want to settle at this early age? Or is it not me, but everybody else that's wrong? Most likely not, as wrong and right is controlled by society, not me. __________________ Signature 101 Last edited by -Anders; 02-19-2005 at 02:49 AM..

06-27-2003, 01:28 PM	#4 (permalink)
-Anders Custom title. Location: Denmark.	I just got back from a walk, just before it got all to dark. It's 11:20 PM here now, you really should try that sometime if you dont do it already. It really freshens up the mind. I have been thinking a bit about what you said erion, and it really helped to hear that. warmingup2prose i kind of think so too, but unfourtantly not many my age think the same way - as i can tell by the amount of drunken people in the streets every weekend. It would be nice to meet someone with the same idea's though, it's a shame it always has to be so hard. And forks, i believe you posted in my other thread aswell, thank you for that And thank you for the kind words here, i hope you are right, i may be missing out - but i have been partying a little, not much - and i suppose not the right places, as it was'nt all that fun. Or perhaps that's just what it is, not really fun - but people get so absolutely hammered that they can't tell the difference between fun and .. well. Not fun. Thank you again. It really helps every last bit of it. __________________ Signature 101

06-27-2003, 02:12 PM	#6 (permalink)
lurkette My future is coming on Moderator Emeritus Location: east of the sun and west of the moon	I think whatever feels right to you is right for you. If you have figured out at 19 what makes you happy, you have a huge advantage over most people and should be grateful. Start doing what it takes to get to that vision, and if on the way your vision of happiness changes, so be it - switch gears then. But don't second-guess yourself based on what "everyone else" is doing. I'm guessing "everyone else" is probably fucking miserable! __________________ "If ten million people believe a foolish thing, it is still a foolish thing." - Anatole France

06-28-2003, 02:05 AM	#7 (permalink)
Slims Eccentric insomniac Location: North Carolina	You aren't wierd. I once estimated that I would probably be dead before I was thirty five due to drugs, climbing dangerous routes, constant fights, fast driving, etc. and I never wanted to slow down. These days though, I find that I am not against the idea of a nice house and a family. Go figure. I am only 22. I say suit yourself, but you might want to go have a few adventures before settling down and losing the opportunity. __________________ "Socialism is a philosophy of failure, the creed of ignorance, and the gospel of envy, its inherent virtue is the equal sharing of misery." - Winston Churchill "All men dream: but not equally. Those who dream by night in the dusty recesses of their minds wake in the day to find that it was vanity: but the dreamers of the day are dangerous men, for they may act out their dream with open eyes, to make it possible." Seven Pillars of Wisdom, T.E. Lawrence

06-28-2003, 01:46 PM	#10 (permalink)
Mondak Industrialist Location: Southern California	Don't have regrets though. I have seen them drive people crazy. Going out and meeting new people at social event or even parties does not mean that you have to sleep with 10,000 people or get wasted all the time. No one really gives a crap whether or not you are drinking. Att that age if someone wants you to have a whole bunch more than you want, they are just insecure. Is it possible that saying that you don't want to do these things becuase you are uncomfortable around new people? I know I was. Then I drank a lot. Now I am comfortable with my tendencies to be dorky and as soon as that happened, I started to become more comfortable around people in general. __________________ All truth passes through three stages: First it is ridiculed Second, it is violently opposed and Third, it is accepted as self-evident. ARTHUR SCHOPENHAUER (1788-1860)

06-27-2003, 11:59 AM	#2 (permalink)
erion Psycho	Don't look upon it as "having settled." If you have found a measure of inner tranquility, then you are at a level of being very few people in modern society seem to be able to attain. Congfratulate yourself, and work toward those simple, yet enjoyable and attainable goals you seem to have set for yourself. Realizing what's truly important to you and working towards achieving it is the best reward we can receive from this life. That is, until you have kids. Then the rules change and they become the best reward you can receive from this life.

06-27-2003, 12:59 PM	#3 (permalink)
warmingup2prose Upright	wrong and right for you are controlled by you. (unless it hurts someone else, i guess.) i know lots of girls who would love to hear something like that from their boyfriends...and even guys who would like to hear it from girls. i don't think you're alone in your thinking, but you're rare--in that good way. (not to say that people who think differently are bad...)

06-27-2003, 01:53 PM	#5 (permalink)
rockzilla Junkie Location: The Kitchen	At 25, I've done all the hard partying I ever really care to do. I've tried everything I've wanted to try, done everything I've wanted to do, and a lot of stuff I probably shouldn't have. I don't regret anything I've done, but there's nothing new for me to experience in the world of hedonism, so I've slowed down and mellowed out. Erion's got it right in saying that the only thing that matters is realizing what's important to you and working towards what makes you happy. For me, that's a bottle or two of good wine, some close friends and hours of entertaining conversation. Go after what makes you happy, even if it isn't a case of beer and a bunch of cookie-cutter, brain-dead skanks.

06-28-2003, 07:00 AM	#8 (permalink)
ratbastid Darth Papa Location: Yonder	Congratulations on being the most mature, centered, grounded 19-year-old I've ever met. There's nothing wrong with you that getting married, buying a house, and starting a garden won't cure

06-28-2003, 11:59 AM	#9 (permalink)
Mitzkrieg Insane	in my opinion, it sounds to me like you've just matured faster than most kids your age have. I think its great. I didn't really have much direction of where I wanted to go in life until a couple years ago and I'm just about to turn 30. I wish I had more motivation for what I wanted back when I was your age. If I did I'd probably be a lot better off than I am now, financially speaking anyways(debts, house, etc.) Aim high, shoot for what you want, don't procrastinate(something I'm doing now, which I should have done years ago) hope that helps.

06-28-2003, 01:57 PM	#11 (permalink)
Nikki ~~~~~~~ Location: Charleston, SC	Some people party their whole life away. That is the way they want to live though. There is nothing wrong at all with your way. Whatever makes YOU happy is what is best. Who cares what others do??

06-28-2003, 04:26 PM	#12 (permalink)
Gman Insane Location: Down South In Louisiana	Well, if it makes you feel any better, I'm 18 and I'm in the exact same position as you. ('cept the girlfriend part) A lot of my friends will drink and smoke it up about every month or so, but I just don't find that entertaining. I'd rather stay home and just talk and hang out.

06-29-2003, 12:43 PM	#13 (permalink)
RelaX Follower of Ner'Zhul Location: Netherlands	I know what you mean... isn't it good to be able to live with yourself instead of constantly chasing external stimuli? __________________ The most likely way for the world to be destroyed, most experts agree, is by accident. That's where we come in; we're computer professionals. We cause accidents. - Nathaniel Borenstein

07-04-2003, 09:37 AM	#14 (permalink)
-Anders Custom title. Location: Denmark.	Thanks for the kind words everyone. I've decieded to just go with what's best for my, and what suits me best, insted of chasing other people's dreams. __________________ Signature 101

07-12-2003, 06:13 PM	#15 (permalink)
Stiltzkin Junkie	I have this same feeling come over me from time to time. I've been to exactly one drinking party, and I really didn't see what was so fun about it. Granted, I did not drink, but this was because I had to drive home. As of right now, I wish badly that I could finish my master's degree in computer science so I could start making money already. From there, I'll probably marry some woman because she wants my money-- I've never found "love" and probably never will, but lead programmers make good money It's not weird to feel this way at a young age, it just isn't very common, apparently. What I really want is to have kids. At least one daughter, and at least one son. I want to see if I can be a better parent than mine, and I really mean this. Man... I need to go sulk for a little while... or not. And chase your own dreams, dude. If this is what you want, screw what everyone else is doing. __________________ The most important thing in this world is love.