kate jack

For as long as I can remember I've thought that honesty is always the best option. You have less stress if you aren't preoccupied with using new lies to cover up old ones. I also have this idea that I owe it to people to be honest to them.

Lies are effective though and by using them you can save yourself a ton of stress in the short term and maybe even long term.

Is lying ok in a moral sense? Is it a good idea in the practical sense? Is striving to be completely honest in all situations too idealistic?

inBOIL

Yes. If it's to avoid offending someone who has the power and inclination to make your life miserable, it's usually less stressful to lie than accept the consequences of being truthful. Also, a little white lie can be more comfortable to deliver when the truth is unflattering, and with no added stress/risk if you'll never see the person again. For example, if a stranger were hitting on me (hey, it could happen...in theory) I'd much rather say "sorry, I have a girlfriend" than "sorry, I don't find you attractive."

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And you believe Bush and the liberals and divorced parents and gays and blacks and the Christian right and fossil fuels and Xbox are all to blame, meanwhile you yourselves create an ad where your kid hits you in the head with a baseball and you don't understand the message that the problem is you.

Manic_Skafe

Holy shit, has anyone ever read my signature?

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"Porn is a zoo of exotic animals that becomes boring upon ownership." -Nersesian

Plummie

Honesty is always the best policy, but lying does serve a practical purpose on some rare occasions. Evolutionarily speaking, we are programmed to lie about certain things. For instance it is well-documented in many species that occasionally a female who is bonded to one male, will become pregnant intentionally by a different male, but will return to the pair bond and deceive her current mate into thinking the offspring is his. She may do this because her partner is a better nest builder, or a better father, or a better forager of food. Whatever the case may be, she lies to better her own position or that of her offspring in the long-run.

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Kim

jewels

Yes.

I'm still 99% idealistic.

Sigh.

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We are always more anxious to be distinguished for a talent which we do not possess, than to be praised for the fifteen which we do possess.
Mark Twain

Seer666

Tell all your friends what you REALLY think about there kids.
Sometimes it's better for your sake and theirs to bend the truth a bit.

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Bad spellers of the world untie!!!

I am the one you warned me of

I seem to have misplaced the bullet with your name on it, but I have a whole box addressed to occupant.

Baraka_Guru

Striving to be? No, maybe not. But to actually be completely honest in all situations is.

I always use this example: If the SS came to your door, seeking Jews, and you had a Jewish family hiding in your attic, would you admit to having some hiding in your home?

I didn't think so, you little liar.

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Knowing that death is certain and that the time of death is uncertain, what's the most important thing?
—Bhikkhuni Pema Chödrön

Humankind cannot bear very much reality.
—From "Burnt Norton," Four Quartets (1936), T. S. Eliot

thespian86

I'm almost always honest unless it's going to save someone a lot of stress. I'm hardly ever in a position of high stress and when I am it doesn't really bother me so I just push my way through it and be honest.

I do end up lying about completely useless things though. I don't know why?

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EX: Whats new?
ME: I officially love coffee more then you now.
EX: uh...
ME: So, not much.

levite

Yeah, in general I am a big supporter of not lying. I think honesty is generally a better idea ethically, and a lot easier pragmatically (you don't have to remember what story you told different people, just the truth).

Nonetheless, I think there are instances where lies can be ethically acceptable. Generally, the sort we tend to label "little white lies:" telling your grandfather his hideous tie looks good, telling your kid their dreadful school play was great, telling your wife you were totally not looking at that 20-year-old with the lingerie-model body whose shirt is transparent when she turns just right.....

At the same time, I think it's not necessarily a free pass to liarsville just to spare people's feelings. Sometimes thats key, and no other justification is necessary. But sometimes we have to tell people the truth, even when it's unpleasant to hear and unpleasant to tell. For example, if your friend has nasty BO, you're not doing him any favors to pretend he doesn't stink. It's actually better to take him aside and gently let him know, as a concerned friend, that his BO is badly noticeable, and he should either change soaps to something stronger, or consult a physician. The moment might be awkward as hell, but in the end, he'll thank you for it.

Also, I tend to think that minor lies of the "check is in the mail" variety are not necessarily bad. If you're living on the edge, and your phone bill is due on the first, but you can't pay it until the fifth, and they call you on the third to bug you, I don't think there's anything wrong with telling them that the check is in the mail, if you really intend and actually do mail the thing to them on the fourth or fifth. A couple of days makes no practical difference to anyone, and a little flexibility is just necessary in life to survive.

Truth is extremely important: so are other things. As with nearly any ethical issue, honesty is not about being exclusively one thing, but about being mostly a truth-teller than occasionally doesn't tell the truth in understandable circumstances.

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Dull sublunary lovers love,
Whose soul is sense, cannot admit
Absence, because it doth remove
That thing which elemented it.

(From "A Valediction: Forbidding Mourning" by John Donne)

jorgelito

Honesty is the best policy.

KGP

Honesty. Unless you lie for good intentions like not offending that person.

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Don't be afraid of the darkness, be afraid of what it hides.