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levite · 07-14-2008, 02:32 PM

Yeah, in general I am a big supporter of not lying. I think honesty is generally a better idea ethically, and a lot easier pragmatically (you don't have to remember what story you told different people, just the truth).

Nonetheless, I think there are instances where lies can be ethically acceptable. Generally, the sort we tend to label "little white lies:" telling your grandfather his hideous tie looks good, telling your kid their dreadful school play was great, telling your wife you were totally not looking at that 20-year-old with the lingerie-model body whose shirt is transparent when she turns just right.....

At the same time, I think it's not necessarily a free pass to liarsville just to spare people's feelings. Sometimes thats key, and no other justification is necessary. But sometimes we have to tell people the truth, even when it's unpleasant to hear and unpleasant to tell. For example, if your friend has nasty BO, you're not doing him any favors to pretend he doesn't stink. It's actually better to take him aside and gently let him know, as a concerned friend, that his BO is badly noticeable, and he should either change soaps to something stronger, or consult a physician. The moment might be awkward as hell, but in the end, he'll thank you for it.

Also, I tend to think that minor lies of the "check is in the mail" variety are not necessarily bad. If you're living on the edge, and your phone bill is due on the first, but you can't pay it until the fifth, and they call you on the third to bug you, I don't think there's anything wrong with telling them that the check is in the mail, if you really intend and actually do mail the thing to them on the fourth or fifth. A couple of days makes no practical difference to anyone, and a little flexibility is just necessary in life to survive.

Truth is extremely important: so are other things. As with nearly any ethical issue, honesty is not about being exclusively one thing, but about being mostly a truth-teller than occasionally doesn't tell the truth in understandable circumstances.

07-14-2008, 02:32 PM	#9 (permalink)
levite Minion of Joss Location: The Windy City	Yeah, in general I am a big supporter of not lying. I think honesty is generally a better idea ethically, and a lot easier pragmatically (you don't have to remember what story you told different people, just the truth). Nonetheless, I think there are instances where lies can be ethically acceptable. Generally, the sort we tend to label "little white lies:" telling your grandfather his hideous tie looks good, telling your kid their dreadful school play was great, telling your wife you were totally not looking at that 20-year-old with the lingerie-model body whose shirt is transparent when she turns just right..... At the same time, I think it's not necessarily a free pass to liarsville just to spare people's feelings. Sometimes thats key, and no other justification is necessary. But sometimes we have to tell people the truth, even when it's unpleasant to hear and unpleasant to tell. For example, if your friend has nasty BO, you're not doing him any favors to pretend he doesn't stink. It's actually better to take him aside and gently let him know, as a concerned friend, that his BO is badly noticeable, and he should either change soaps to something stronger, or consult a physician. The moment might be awkward as hell, but in the end, he'll thank you for it. Also, I tend to think that minor lies of the "check is in the mail" variety are not necessarily bad. If you're living on the edge, and your phone bill is due on the first, but you can't pay it until the fifth, and they call you on the third to bug you, I don't think there's anything wrong with telling them that the check is in the mail, if you really intend and actually do mail the thing to them on the fourth or fifth. A couple of days makes no practical difference to anyone, and a little flexibility is just necessary in life to survive. Truth is extremely important: so are other things. As with nearly any ethical issue, honesty is not about being exclusively one thing, but about being mostly a truth-teller than occasionally doesn't tell the truth in understandable circumstances. __________________ Dull sublunary lovers love, Whose soul is sense, cannot admit Absence, because it doth remove That thing which elemented it. (From "A Valediction: Forbidding Mourning" by John Donne)