Picking a Therapist - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

JimmyTheHutt · 03-25-2008, 04:03 PM

Got a general question for the wiser heads that peruse these boards. After a few "interesting" episodes, I've determined, more than ever, that I need to see a professional. All of my previous encounters with mental health professionals were arranged by others (my parents during the days of my mis-spent youth). I don't know how to find one on my own. Does TF have any advice? Thanks in advance!

Veritas et Lux!
Jimmy The Hutt

girldetective · 03-25-2008, 07:40 PM

Many psychologists offer a "meet & greet" sort of thing, where they will meet with you for 10 minutes or so, just so you can get a feel for them. I think this is worthless and a waste of time and gas (if you drive). It might work best if you could just talk with them a moment on the phone. I would have questions in mind (as well as the answers youre looking for) such as gender or age or physical address. You might wonder if they take your insurance and what their billing policies are. If youre savvy enough to know what kind of treatment modality might work best for you, let them know. It may give you something to talk about in which you can glean more information about their personality, vocabularly, and so on. Do you like their voice and what they have to say? Do they make you feel or think differently? Can you learn from this person? Can you relate to them and can they help you with your problem?

Or you could just ask around.

Cynthetiq · 03-25-2008, 08:13 PM

Quote:

View: How to Choose a Therapist
Source: Psychologytoday
posted with the TFP thread generator

How to Choose a Therapist
Is life going up in flames? Are you suffering through a nasty divorce, a devastating layoff or even prolonged depression? Life's difficulties are hard to avoid, and we might get stuck in them and not see a way out. That's when getting help from a professional may be imperative.

But how do you go about finding the right help? Wisdom, life experience and empathy are vital in a therapist. After all, he or she will have to teach you the skills you need to manage life. A great place to begin your search is in Psychology Today's Therapy Directory. Here are some things to consider when searching for the right match:

Location, Location
Proximity is actually very important. People make excuses when it comes to therapy: "I can't make my appointment today because it's too far..." Location should not become an obstacle. If there are no therapists in your zip code, try those in a town nearby.

Comfort Level
Check out the photo profiles of therapists in your area. Do you think you'll be comfortable discussing the secrets of your life with this person?

Ask yourself if you'll be more comfortable with a male or female therapist. Or, if you need one who speaks Spanish, Chinese or Arabic.

The Right Stuff
Find a professional who has treated people with problems similar to those you face. Often a therapist focuses on specific issues such as eating disorders, sexual dysfunction or mood disorders. You can custom search the Directory to find therapists who specialize in these areas. And, of course, find out what treatment the therapist employs as well as his results.

Sometimes a therapist works closely with particular populations such as adolescents, gay couples or people of particular religious backgrounds. Be sure to learn your therapist's focus.

Psych Basics
Ph.D., M.D., Psy.D., M.S.W.-don't fuss over credentials and degrees. What you really need is a therapist who will connect with you. But if you want to decipher a provider's credentials and differentiate psychologists and psychiatrists from family therapists and social workers, see Psychology Today's professionals. All Directory therapists are trained and licensed.

The Methods
Therapists have certain methods and orientations. Some use cognitive behavioral therapy, for example. A variety of methods are effective. However, if you want to learn more about therapy methods, see Psychology Today's article What's Your Orientation?.

Make Contact
Contact two or three therapists. You will most likely get voicemail. Don't hang up; leave your name and number.

On your first visit, ask yourself, "Do we click?" Do you feel a connection with your therapist? For you to reveal yourself, you will need to feel safe and at ease. The first session is normally free, so if you don't click, move on to the next one.

In The Pocket
When you do settle on a therapist, settle on fee beforehand. You may also need to inquire about a sliding-scale arrangement-a flexible fee schedule adjusted to your needs or income.

There's a confusing array of insurance arrangements-HMO's, MBHO's, private pay. But the first thing you need to do is check with your carrier. Make a list of questions, including how many visits the insurer will pay for, does the carrier cover a percentage of cost only, the difference between providers who are in-network and out-of-network, and is primary care physician approval required.

After the carrier has answered all your queries, ask your therapist about coverage too. Bring up matters such as co-payment, how other patients handle insurance and payment, or whether your diagnosis will go on your record. Arm yourself with information, so you don't end up with surprises.

Additional Considerations

Sharing Values
Equally critical is sharing the same values. One would think that psychotherapy is value-free, but finding a therapist who shares your beliefs is necessary. You are building a relationship, so starting at the core is important. If struggling with a partner in a relationship has brought you to therapy, for example, you certainly want to know how the therapist feels about cohabitation before marriage.

Are You Listening?
Does your therapist have good listening skills? Don't laugh, but you need to be sure she is attentive and hears what you have to say. That's why it's called talk therapy. Is she asking the right questions, is she asking enough of them?

Too Eager
A therapist shouldn't be too eager to please. Say you suffer from self-esteem problems, it does no good if the therapist does nothing more than flatter you. Instead, choose one who will challenge you. You will want one who is proactive and perhaps gives you assignments. She might ask you to read up on your issues or to conduct an experiment. The road to good mental health takes work.

Ask the provider how long therapy should last. Don't accept a vague answer. If the person is experienced, he or she should have an idea of what you can expect.

This helped me figure out the how to picking a therapist. In fact I was so much about not wasting time that I went to see 2 different therapists for about 2 months, after that time I decide with the one that was more convenient and seemed to be more interested in me.

Willravel · 03-25-2008, 09:18 PM

I like Ericsonian therapists: they're fucking nuts!

But seriously, Cynth's article pretty much covers it.

girldetective · 03-26-2008, 06:10 AM

Cynth's article is good, but there are a few exceptions. One is that I don't know any therapist that will give a free session, first or otherwise. The most one can hope for is a meet & greet, not a full session. Also, it used to be that some therapists would allow a sliding fee scale, but that is unusual today. However, some will give a discount of 10-20% with cash payment, meaning they don't have to bill insurance. I would also suggest that doctor shopping is hard work. You really need to be able to get a feel for the therapist on the phone. It might be helpful to speak with their secretary if they have one (unlikely, but possible) and ask their take on the person - do they have a sense of humor, are they motherly, sporty, etc, whatever you might look for in a person. Some therapists have specialties, but most are well enough versed to help with any problem. I think the goal is to find someone you feel comfortable with and whose problem solving skills you respect.

abaya · 03-26-2008, 07:17 AM

Other posters have covered the essentials (great article, Cyn!)... but I just wanted to say congratulations on deciding to take this step. Seems like I read about so many people around here who are hesitant to get into counseling, when it's so clear that they would benefit from it... thus it really makes me happy to see someone so willing to sign up for it.

Good job, and good luck finding someone you can click with. Let us know how it goes.

JimmyTheHutt · 03-26-2008, 10:00 PM

Thanks for all the great advice, everyone. I will be sure to keep you posted on how it goes. I am going to try scheduling several appointments for first sessions on Friday.

Veritas et Lux!

Jimmy The Hutt

thespian86 · 03-27-2008, 02:17 AM

agreed w/ everyone, cynth is got it down. For me, I needed someone who genuinely wanted to hear what I was saying. The woman I had before him always seemed to have something else to do but was trying to mask said need. Very frustrating. That's my two cents. Good luck.

Mondak · 03-27-2008, 08:37 AM

Nice work Cynthetiq.

Couple other things -

This is the best investment you can ever make: in yourself. I always thought of therapy as something that only truly affluent people can afford to do properly. What I mean is that you have to have the means and the TIME to do this. Some people have a stigma attached to people who "need" therapy. They tend to look down on those who attend therapy. Those people have very likely never taken a serious look at themselves and have little hope of ever improving their lot in life.

Even if it costs money - make yourself go to three different people at least once even if you think the first one is perfect. This is someone you are likely going to be with a long time and entrusting with a very important job. Don't skimp on one of the most important steps.

03-25-2008, 04:03 PM	#1 (permalink)
JimmyTheHutt Psycho Location: Hell (Phoenix AZ)	Picking a Therapist Got a general question for the wiser heads that peruse these boards. After a few "interesting" episodes, I've determined, more than ever, that I need to see a professional. All of my previous encounters with mental health professionals were arranged by others (my parents during the days of my mis-spent youth). I don't know how to find one on my own. Does TF have any advice? Thanks in advance! Veritas et Lux! Jimmy The Hutt __________________ Think Jabba, only with more hair and vestigal legs.... "This isn't a nightmare, its real. Nightmare's end." -ShadowDancer

03-25-2008, 07:40 PM	#2 (permalink)
girldetective sufferable	Many psychologists offer a "meet & greet" sort of thing, where they will meet with you for 10 minutes or so, just so you can get a feel for them. I think this is worthless and a waste of time and gas (if you drive). It might work best if you could just talk with them a moment on the phone. I would have questions in mind (as well as the answers youre looking for) such as gender or age or physical address. You might wonder if they take your insurance and what their billing policies are. If youre savvy enough to know what kind of treatment modality might work best for you, let them know. It may give you something to talk about in which you can glean more information about their personality, vocabularly, and so on. Do you like their voice and what they have to say? Do they make you feel or think differently? Can you learn from this person? Can you relate to them and can they help you with your problem? Or you could just ask around. __________________ As far as possible, without surrender, be on good terms with all persons...be cheerful; strive for happiness - Desiderata

03-26-2008, 06:10 AM	#5 (permalink)
girldetective sufferable	Cynth's article is good, but there are a few exceptions. One is that I don't know any therapist that will give a free session, first or otherwise. The most one can hope for is a meet & greet, not a full session. Also, it used to be that some therapists would allow a sliding fee scale, but that is unusual today. However, some will give a discount of 10-20% with cash payment, meaning they don't have to bill insurance. I would also suggest that doctor shopping is hard work. You really need to be able to get a feel for the therapist on the phone. It might be helpful to speak with their secretary if they have one (unlikely, but possible) and ask their take on the person - do they have a sense of humor, are they motherly, sporty, etc, whatever you might look for in a person. Some therapists have specialties, but most are well enough versed to help with any problem. I think the goal is to find someone you feel comfortable with and whose problem solving skills you respect. __________________ As far as possible, without surrender, be on good terms with all persons...be cheerful; strive for happiness - Desiderata

03-26-2008, 07:17 AM	#6 (permalink)
abaya Location: Iceland	Other posters have covered the essentials (great article, Cyn!)... but I just wanted to say congratulations on deciding to take this step. Seems like I read about so many people around here who are hesitant to get into counseling, when it's so clear that they would benefit from it... thus it really makes me happy to see someone so willing to sign up for it. Good job, and good luck finding someone you can click with. Let us know how it goes. __________________ And think not you can direct the course of Love; for Love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course. --Khalil Gibran

03-26-2008, 10:00 PM	#7 (permalink)
JimmyTheHutt Psycho Location: Hell (Phoenix AZ)	Thanks for all the great advice, everyone. I will be sure to keep you posted on how it goes. I am going to try scheduling several appointments for first sessions on Friday. Veritas et Lux! Jimmy The Hutt __________________ Think Jabba, only with more hair and vestigal legs.... "This isn't a nightmare, its real. Nightmare's end." -ShadowDancer

03-25-2008, 09:18 PM	#4 (permalink)
Willravel ... a sort of licensed troubleshooter.	I like Ericsonian therapists: they're fucking nuts! But seriously, Cynth's article pretty much covers it.

03-27-2008, 02:17 AM	#8 (permalink)
thespian86 change is hard. Location: the green room.	agreed w/ everyone, cynth is got it down. For me, I needed someone who genuinely wanted to hear what I was saying. The woman I had before him always seemed to have something else to do but was trying to mask said need. Very frustrating. That's my two cents. Good luck. __________________ EX: Whats new? ME: I officially love coffee more then you now. EX: uh... ME: So, not much.

03-27-2008, 08:37 AM	#9 (permalink)
Mondak Industrialist Location: Southern California	Nice work Cynthetiq. Couple other things - This is the best investment you can ever make: in yourself. I always thought of therapy as something that only truly affluent people can afford to do properly. What I mean is that you have to have the means and the TIME to do this. Some people have a stigma attached to people who "need" therapy. They tend to look down on those who attend therapy. Those people have very likely never taken a serious look at themselves and have little hope of ever improving their lot in life. Even if it costs money - make yourself go to three different people at least once even if you think the first one is perfect. This is someone you are likely going to be with a long time and entrusting with a very important job. Don't skimp on one of the most important steps. __________________ All truth passes through three stages: First it is ridiculed Second, it is violently opposed and Third, it is accepted as self-evident. ARTHUR SCHOPENHAUER (1788-1860)