Miss Mango

What do you think is the primary reason a kid becomes a bully?


For attention?

Low self-esteem?

Parents are bullies?

It\'s just their nature?

Other?

I think:

Overly aggressive.

Parents are abusive, some kids need that outlet.

Afraid of people different than them...perhaps they cant comprehend simple things like people may have different views.

Just to be an asshole so they can get attention at home and school.

allaboutmusic

Insecurity and self-protection.

Charlatan

Low self esteem is the main reason but this low self esteem can likely stem from some of the other things on your list such as abusive parents.

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jewels

I totally agree with Charlatan. The aggressive behavior cited in the OP is just another symptom of low self-esteem.

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ratbastid

Oh, the parents don't even have to be abusive in any, like, reportable, actionable way. All it takes is instability at home--the family moves a lot, parents argue a lot, rough bigger siblings--for a kid to develop the combination of low self-esteem and drive for self-preservation that lead to bullying.

Lubeboy

Bullies deserve to be punched in the neck.

Jinn

There are people who just assholes in personality, too. I believe in a little bit of personality at birth, separate from any forces of "nurture." A kid predisposed to assholism will fall more naturally towards ANY of these risk factors. The way you can tell who is an asshole by personality and who is an asshole by situation is that the one who is that one acting by personality carries it long into their adult life.

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Grasshopper Green

I have to agree with JinnKai. Having dealt with plenty of bullies in my younger years...I have to say that there were a select few who really just seemed to get a kick out of being a dick (or dickette).

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Plan9

Small penis syndrome. Leads them to buy Corvettes and Harleys when they hit a midlife crisis.

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Ustwo

I have to disagree.

I think the low self esteem theory of anti-social behavior has been pretty well shot down.

When truly, scientifically tested, the problem seems to be overly aggressive, and violent people tend to have an inflated sense of self worth which to me makes a lot more sense. The people I've seen with obvious self esteem issues tend to be anything but a bully.

Dan Olweus found that bullies do not have low self-esteem. John Coie and Kenneth Dodge, in reviewing research on aggression in children, reported that aggressive boys do not have low self-concepts and tend to blame others rather than themselves for 'negative outcomes.'

This seems a paper which covers both sides of the argument.

http://www.apa.org/monitor/jan99/point.html

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fresnelly

If a kid learns that domination gets the desired results without serious negative consequences then bingo, you get a bully.

Growing up with lousy influences and mentors helps speed and hone the process.

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snowy

A lot of bullies I've had to deal with suffer from low self esteem, usually due to a lack of parental attention, or only negative parental attention.

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World's King

Because nerds need to get their asses kicked...





Yeah, I'm a nerd. Fuck off.

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Psycho Dad

I don't know if anyone is ever really going to get to the base of what causes bullying behavior, but my own personal opinion of what feeds it is mob mentality. How of ten do others really do anything to stop the bullying?

In a setting with young people, it is often easier for others to watch and do little or nothing to stop bullying against others. Likely because if one has a fear of being bullied as long as someone else is the target, it takes the sights off them. We become accustomed to this behavior and carry it into adulthood. We like to believe we are they type of person to come to the defense of another, but we may not do this as often as we think we would.

Of course this is just my opinion and has no basis in scientific testing, just observations from my roaming the Earth for 43 years.

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thespian86

Because they can. As kids, everyone is looking for a way to feel important, looking for a way to shine. It's a different outlet.

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high_jinx

Yep... if a kid isn't very smart, and isn't very good @ the social graces, yet he's either bigger or stronger or just meaner and willing to go there, he'll take what he can get when it comes to power trips and making himself feel better... even at the expense of others.

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Lasereth

I think it's the simple fact that some people are assholes and some aren't. If you're a bully as a kid, you get suspended or have to write sentences. If you're a bully an adult you get fired or go to jail. Bullies are born that way and are usually always that way, they're just allowed to get away with it as kids. Some cases may have to do with self esteem but I don't think it's a majority and definitely not a defining factor.

OzOz

I'd certainly agree that that's a part of it, but I think that there's also the bit about them not experiencing any negative consequences. They do it because they can, and they are allowed to get away with it.

Nope. Not if you're on your school's flagship football team (or any other high-profile sporting team that you care to mention). One of the biggest bullies I've ever seen - who had self-esteem a mile high - was an all-round sporting "hero" (note sarcasm quotes - he really was a terrific sports player in just about everything, but "hero" is one of those words that gets used a bit too much too often) who had a regular habit of walking out of his own classroom while a class was in session, walking into another classroom where some of his mates were and starting a game of cricket or football in the middle of the classroom while a class was in session there. The school - one of our "elite" schools - did absolutely nothing. To the best of my knowledge, I was the only one at that school who actually did try to do something, and being a mere academic, of course I lost that fight.

Consequences for everyone else? Kids who were there to get a good education, and whose parents were paying thousands of dollars for the privilege, had their classes disrupted for the sake of a sporting "hero" who wanted to have a good time. One kid - the smallest and youngest in the boarding house that this "hero" (and I, unfortunately) lived in - was pulled out of the school after his arm was broken by said sporting "hero". I was almost pulled out by my parents as well, but I resisted as it would have meant going back to a hopeless local school that did absolutely nothing at all for bright kids.

Consequences for the bully? Yeah, right...

Again, I wish. One of the most common complaints about repsonses to workplace bullying is that the target all too often has trouble getting their company to take any action whatsoever - and when they do take action, all too often it's the target, not the bully, who gets shifted into another position or invited to leave.

Consequences for the bully? None. Zip. Zilch. Nada.

I'd agree with you there.

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