opentocomments

And eventually what ended up happening is I got on my computer and saw her on line so I eventually type a complete rant like 1,000+ words and then sent it to her but now i'm beginning to regret it. There is a moderate chance that a might be able to get on her computer before she does and delete it but i work tomarrow from 9-5 and she works from 6-11 but i know she's drunk with her friends right now and this is the letter i regret to have sent.
Names have been changed.

A is my GF
E is her friend
D is one of E's many fuck buddies.

I hope that I’m cooled down tomorrow because I just get jealous when you blow me off for other people. It’s not like I blew off my friends to hang out with you. Oh look I missed 2 calls from my friends when was that at? OH YEAH when we were hanging out. Never mind. I know I’m being a douche bag but you're also being a complete bitch. I have a new game plan for tomorrow let’s not hang out. Lets not hang out Saturday either and then Sunday. Possibly Monday too, then I’d be worth hanging out with right. I think we'll be seeing a lot less of each other in the future due to your school and work schedule as well as your social calendar in conjunction of my work schedule. Maybe it would be best if I just left town for a while and then there'd be enough distance for your heart to be fond of me again. I need to stop flooding you with affection and showering you with love and then you might miss what you have now and give my opinion some bearing. I know I’m not the only person you blow off and I know you've blown people off in the past for me but why when I almost pleaded with you to your time with me tonight.
I don't think you understand, part of a relationship is making little sacrifices and some times I want to be chased after some times I want you to call me 5 times when I’m upset. I need you A. You're the sturdy part of my foundation. You're my first and only true love. You make me really happy almost all the time. I just don't always want to share you. I want you to run to me instead of away from me. Why you were so adamantly opposed to hanging out with me for the rest of the night. You could tell it was upsetting me and you still just ignore it. If my emotions and wants and needs are invalid then start looking for a new boyfriend because I feel like if your going to blow me off I should start looking for excused to blow you off. You know how it feels already and it feels shitty when you have an absolute desire to be with some one and they know it but don't feel the same way. Since I work a fulltime job you and E have tenfold the time you and I have to hang out.
You think the only reason I don't like E is because of some stupid bullshit related to a plant but it has almost nothing to do with that. If I got started on all the reasons I don't think E is a good friend. Not why E isn't a good friend to you but why she isn't a good friend for anyone, you probably wouldn't be her friend anymore. I don't want to go there because I respect you and don't think it’s necessary to ruin one of your best friendships over something stupid. She just has boundary and respect issues to an extent you don't know. I'll hang out with E again but it will only be under these conditions, one - you are OBLIGATED to be there, two - neutral territory neither my house or hers, three - I DO NOT want to be LEFT ALONE with her, four - I DO NOT want to hang out with D, and five - she can't talk about more then 5 guys she's screwed or I’ll just kill myself. I'm more then happy to hang out with E. I don't hate E; I just have serious trust and respect issues with E. All of this ties into tonight and Monday. I know that my avoiDce of E will probably strain ties between her but, straining relations between you and I is of much greater importance therefore I'll just sit at home and be jealous of you rather then create a worse issue. You might think I’m a vindictive ass but if I really wanted that then this situation would be exponentially worse. This could go from me being a dumb bastard in your eyes to what would happen if I really was a dumb bastard. If I was a dumb bastard like you think instead of wanting to go out and party tonight you'd probably be at home crying and never wanting to see me or E again. I've turned my nose up before and I’ll do it again but that’s a personal choice dictated by a real obligation I have, if you know about real uncompromising obligations. Even Charlie knows better then to eat spoiled meat though. These are the final words I part with, "Every betrayal begins with trust."
Sometimes you have to think about what’s more important. A wolf in sheep’s clothing doesn't protect the herd, just something to think about. Good night. Call me tomorrow, I'll probably pick up. I love you more then anyone or anything. You make me happy and I wouldn't trade that for the world.
I really love you but I don't like feeling toyed. I can't really say anything that really grasps how I feel about you. I care about you so much I’d go to almost any lengths to keep you happy. I'll bend over backwards for you at the drop of a dime. I just need you to make some of those compromises for me sometimes. You don't always have to 100% understood my insanity you just have to let it be valid sometimes. I rarely if ever understand your madness but I usually flow with it. I think what you have to say is valid input and depending on your emotional state I’d drop anything to run and see you and make things right. I like to think I always do. I know I can get really wound up and be kind of obnoxious but for the most part I think I treat you pretty good and seriously you don't want to get too wrapped up in E she doesn't have any staying power as a friend she'd sell you down the river for a quarter bag, in a heart beat. Call me tomorrow and if don't pick up call me again and again until I do because I’ll probably still be feeling a little betrayed but I don't think I’ll hold it against you I usually wake up and feel invigorated but sometimes if I go to bed really perturbed I can't sleep well so we'll see. I might just end up staying up all night if I can't fall asleep by 2 or 3. I'd really appreciate a call tomorrow but don't feel obligated. I don't hold want you to feel obligated to do anything for me. I just feel like it’s a lot of give and take and when I tried to give you don't always want it and when I try to take you don't want to give. I feel like things are always on your terms and you make the rules. If you really want to wear the pants in the relationship be my guest, I already feel like I’m the bitch anyways.

Send my congratulations along to the newly employed Mrs. E and tell her I’m sorry I’m missed the party but I had a nice evening in planned and I didn't want to stay up too late. Tell her I hope things between her and D work out.

Some perspective on how (ir)rational I actually am.

__________________
How do we know that the sky is not green and we are all color-blind?

xepherys

What's to regret? You stood up for your feelings, made a point, and in the end still said nice things about her and her friend. These kind of things are sometimes hard to say in person, especially in the rapid-fire stream-of-thought manner that they can be written in a letter or email.

It's hard from just one point of view, and just one piece of correspondance to really help too much, I'm afraid. But it seems like a reasonable email to me.

__________________
The prospect of achieving a peace agreement with the extremist group of MILF is almost impossible...
-- Emmanuel Pinol, Governor of Cotobato

My Homepage

jewels

What xepherys said.

The way I see it, if you're in a relationship you must feel loved and trusted enough to say what you feel, even if it's reactive. We all need to vent and those we love understand and accept that.

__________________
We are always more anxious to be distinguished for a talent which we do not possess, than to be praised for the fifteen which we do possess.
Mark Twain

Jinn

I think you should let E have her way with you as a revenge against the recipient of this letter.

The note is a little passive aggressive, but not terribly. As is, I think it's a pretty effective conveyance of your feelings. If you get a chance to delete it without being devious, it might be worth your while. You could probably explain this better to her in person.

If you can't get to it, though, it's not a terrible thing. It's relatively tame in terms of "GOD DAMNIT BITCH WHY DID YOU SNUB ME" notes.

__________________
"I'm typing on a computer of science, which is being sent by science wires to a little science server where you can access it. I'm not typing on a computer of philosophy or religion or whatever other thing you think can be used to understand the universe because they're a poor substitute in the role of understanding the universe which exists independent from ourselves." - Willravel

dirtyrascal7

Hmmm... where to begin...

My first advice is to save this email. Come back to it in a few years and read it again. Some of the things you said will probably be a big shock to you once you're more mature and have better experience and perspective. My guess is that you won't even be with A at that point and it will seem quite silly that you ever got so worked up over her or thought so highly of her.

If I were you, I'd worry less about A reading this and more about working on your jealousy and dependency issues. You have obviously put this girl on a pedestal and her respect for you is waning... she knows she can do whatever she wants and you'll still be waiting for her at home like a little puppy dog. You were right about her wearing the pants in the relationship, but that is true only because you made her your biggest priority when she only thought of you as an option.

Also, getting upset and whining when she expresses a desire to spend time with someone else is only going to push her away. She may love you, but no one enjoys spending time with someone in a bad mood.

__________________
"Tie yourself to your limitless potential, rather than your limiting past."

"Every man I meet is my superior in some way. In that, I learn of him."

Willravel

I never use email to talk to friends or SOs. Ever. It's a bad method of communication.

I believe you should have had this conversation in person.

dirtyrascal7

Good point... and you should never have a conversation like this while you're still upset and emotional. Wait a day or so until you've calmed down and can confront the person rationally and with a willingness to hear their side of things.

__________________
"Tie yourself to your limitless potential, rather than your limiting past."

"Every man I meet is my superior in some way. In that, I learn of him."

genuinegirly

I second willravel's opinion.

__________________
"Sometimes I have to remember that things are brought to me for a reason, either for my own lessons or for the benefit of others." Cynthetiq

"violence is no more or less real than non-violence." roachboy

opentocomments

So it all ended up working out, she actually wrote a response letter that was longer then mine and then we had a long talk that ended in what i'd call "I'm sorry fellatio" We probably would have had make up sex but aunt flo's still in town which i'm positive was a contributing factor. Theres alot of factors that aren't clearly outlined in the letter. I agree this is the kind of conversation best had in person too but i typed the letter and then sent it right away and then proceeded to regret it.

__________________
How do we know that the sky is not green and we are all color-blind?

genuinegirly

AWESOME! Goes to show, it takes all kinds of communication to make a healthy relationship. I'm glad you two connected, debated, spoke...

__________________
"Sometimes I have to remember that things are brought to me for a reason, either for my own lessons or for the benefit of others." Cynthetiq

"violence is no more or less real than non-violence." roachboy

xepherys

Glad to hear things worked out

__________________
The prospect of achieving a peace agreement with the extremist group of MILF is almost impossible...
-- Emmanuel Pinol, Governor of Cotobato

My Homepage