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Hmmm... where to begin...
My first advice is to save this email. Come back to it in a few years and read it again. Some of the things you said will probably be a big shock to you once you're more mature and have better experience and perspective. My guess is that you won't even be with A at that point and it will seem quite silly that you ever got so worked up over her or thought so highly of her.
If I were you, I'd worry less about A reading this and more about working on your jealousy and dependency issues. You have obviously put this girl on a pedestal and her respect for you is waning... she knows she can do whatever she wants and you'll still be waiting for her at home like a little puppy dog. You were right about her wearing the pants in the relationship, but that is true only because you made her your biggest priority when she only thought of you as an option.
Also, getting upset and whining when she expresses a desire to spend time with someone else is only going to push her away. She may love you, but no one enjoys spending time with someone in a bad mood.
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"Tie yourself to your limitless potential, rather than your limiting past."
"Every man I meet is my superior in some way. In that, I learn of him."
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