CoolestPerson

Just looking for some feedback of what I should do. Talk to him, let it go, etc. So, to make it short my step dad and my mother are having problems because he plays WOW everyday when he gets home from work. he plays until 10 0r 11 pm sometimes later. Girls play the game. My mom gets worried. WTF should I do? Stay out of it ya think? Note: I don't live at home anymore but care for my mother a lot. I also like my step dad

JustJess

It might be a nice thing for you to talk to him as someone who plays WoW (if you do)... there are a lot of documented cases of people getting addicted to WoW, and you could illustrate that to him. Perhaps help him by showing him that it's negatively affecting his marriage. Also, it wouldn't hurt to reassure your mom - just because you CAN meet women on there doesn't mean that's why he's on there.

Then again, these are your parents, and this could be an awkward conversation. Only you can say if they can handle truth from their kid.

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Shaindra

Tell your mom to get her own account and play with him. Yes, women do play WoW, and yes, some people do develop relationships in-game. But if someone is susceptible to that sort of thing, there are issues with the marriage...not the game.

MSD

When WoW starts interfering in everyday life, it's time to take the computer outside and shoot it. The problem isn't that he'll be drawn away from her to another woman, it's that he'll be drawn into the game and cease to function as a normal human. I know people who play for fun and don't have problems, I know people who schedule the rest of their life around WoW raids (for most of them, it's not more time that anyone would spend playing in a sports league, so they survive,) and I knew a kid who played so much he had holes worn in his laptop where his palms rested and ate away the plastic from abrasion and sweat.

TotalMILF

Break his computer.

Really, it sounds like he's gone way beyond what's "normal" or "healthy" since his gaming habits are now affecting the relationships he has with real, tangible people. That's just pathetic, I think.

Just discretely open up the case and start stabbing things with a screwdriver (after you unplug it, of course). Problem solved, no?

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Shauk

let him grow out of it on his own. Forcing it isn't going to do anything besides breed resentment.

<--- Played for 3 years, 10 hours a day sometimes. What a waste of my mortality that was.

MSD

It's a lot more fun if you don't unplug it first.

Shaindra

Saboutaging the computer won't solve anything. People play that much WoW (or do anything else to excess) because they aren't happy. If you don't figure out why he isn't happy, he'll just get pissed at losing his coping mechanism and find a new one. The more she nags about it, the more he'll dig in.

Is your mom upset at the time he spends, or the fact that women play the game? If she's feeling insecure, WoW is the least of the things she might find to be upset about.

Ustwo

While maybe he's not happy, most people seem to think they aren't happy, I don't think what you said here is accurate.

There have been times where I played games a bit too much, even to a point my parents were worried I was waisting too much time, but at that point I was quite happy. I had a new girlfriend who fucked like a rabbit, I had a fun job, I was at that point where I was still in college and didn't need to worry about the future. I should have studied a bit more at this point and luckily I got my act together, but I was still happy. I mean who could you be unhappy when you were the #1 pker on the game, had only two classes for the entire semester, and would play the game while your 18 year old gf was sleeping naked 3 feet away, tits illuminated by the haunting glow of the CRT

So maybe some people play these games to escape being unhappy, but some people just really enjoy playing the game.

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MSD

This reminds me of my brother. He spends way too much time playing Diablo II, and when he meets other gamers at school who have played, he's PKed them more often than not. Never got his ex-girlfriend into the game, but he tried, and she didn't mind him playing as long as he spent time with her.

He grew out of the addiction phase and now sells items for forums gold on a D2 site, which he trades for real life items. So far he's gotten a PS2 for a friend and a pro pool cue used in a tournament by Johnny Archer. The real addicts are the ones trading their material possessions for game items.

jewels

In answer to your question, I'd suggest you stay out of it as far as going between your mom and stepdad.

My experience has taught me that people become addicts for different reasons; it doesn't necessarily reflect on the marriage. You might have a conversation with her, if you're comfortable with it, to ascertain if the two of them have discussed this. SOmetimes it can be as simple as one party letting the other know that they're needed.

Please make sure you let your mom know you're there no matter what. Sexist statement, maybe, but men always think women should already know how they feel. But most Moms, wives and daughters do need to hear it, 'specially in a case like this where she may possibly feel she's burdening you.

Ustwo

For most games RMT's (real money traders) are something of a curse but I'm not sure if its always a sign of a real addicts. The argument is some activities in game are boring and to 'enjoy' their game the most its easier to just buy the game currency or items. At one point, back when I was playing eve it would take me a week of somewhat boring play I could 'buy' with less than an hour's work of rl money. Now my opinion is that if your game has that much 'grind' you need a new game, but these RMT's are now a multi million dollar business. If anything you could argue that RMT's make it less of an addiction as you can spend less time grinding away in game.

I think the real addicts just REALLY like the game, and other activities are just less fun. Back in my mudding days which were when I gamed the most the game was down for some reason or another for a week and suddenly I'm making new friends, hanging out after work with people, and it was pretty obvious to me what the issue was. I was already dating my soon to be wife, was accepted into professional school etc, but my leisure time was pretty much gaming. Its not a far leap to go from that where academic, professional and even sexual 'goals' become less important than game goals.

Some day I'm sure they will have identified a gene that will be called the 'gaming gene' or more likely 'WoW gene' which creates the personalities that allow themselves to be completely taken in by these games.

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Agents of the enemies who hold office in our own government, who attempt to eliminate our "freedoms" and our "right to know" are posting among us, I fear.....on this very forum. - host

Obama - Know a Man by the friends he keeps.

snowy

I really like this advice, and I like your clarification, for my concern is that people automatically assume that playing World of Warcraft a lot is a bad thing. It's not a great thing, to be sure, but it's just as bad as watching too much television or playing too many console games. You can play World of Warcraft and not do it to excess.

So he gets home about 5-6pm and logs on for 5-6 hours of game time. Most likely he's raiding, and if he's of any value to his guild, he'll feel bad for missing a raid. Consider that over his months of playing he has spent 20-30 hours a week, if not more, associating with his guild, and they have become part of his social sphere. Likely that does include women, but for a lot of guys who raid, their relationship with their guild is a kind of work relationship, because they're there to get a job done (to get a dungeon cleared and kill bosses for phat lewtz).

My boyfriend is an active raider with his guild and the primary raid leader for the guild. He leads three raids--Karazhan (2 nights a week), Gruul's Lair (1 night a week), and is trying to get a consistent run of Zul'Aman going. My point is that he spends a lot of time doing all of this, several nights a week, yet our relationship is still great. Why? Because I talk to him! I let him know when he's raiding too much. I let him know what my expectations are. I tell him what he needs to do to be able to raid and keep me happy. He's not psychic, and neither is stepdad.

If your mother is unhappy with her relationship with your stepdad, she needs to step up and let her needs be known. As one of our female posters says--if Mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy. But if she isn't clearly communicating that unhappiness, and how to fix it, your stepdad isn't going to have a clue.

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kennusion

Although I've never played WoW, I've played other MMORPGs and have wasted quite a bit of my life. Granted I'd come in and go afk or check messages a lot but this is what it tells me:


You have played for a total of 344 days, 6 hours and 2 minutes.

It's a text based MMO and most popular of it's kind. Anyway, I occasionally come back to talk to old friends I met on there, but I rarely play nowadays. What I did what distract myself with other things to do. That's what I'd recommend most. Buy your step-dad something that may be equally as time consuming, but for the most part healthier and easier to stop.. or maybe buy him tickets to something, what ever he may enjoy--a concert, sports game, play, etc. The main goal is to get him to go out and have him doing something he enjoys enough that he won't be thinking about the next raid or level.

Swapping addictions may help too. It's not the best way to handle it, but it'll loosen the grip and maybe in the grey area between both addictions, he can snap out of it. I admit i've done that before with that MMO and another game.

thingstodo

Great advice, especially the first part.

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