dalnet22

As a 21 year old male, I'm struggling with one insecurity. If my hair doesn't look a certain way, I can't stop thinking about it. Even though I tell myself it doesn't matter, I can't help but get anxious when my hair looks funny. Can someone offer words of advice to calm me down? I would love to get to the point where I don't care how my hair looks, but it's frustrating.

Adri

Nobody looks at your hair except for you. True story. :hug:

Zeraph

Ya. People see your hair, but really, really don't see the subtleties to it. People keep a general map of a person's face/head in their mind and so long as it generally fits it (i.e. so long as you don't have half your head shaved) they don't specifically notice it.

MexicanOnABike

I used to be like that. here are my suggestions.

take a shower in the morning that way you can dry it and it will look just the way you want. when i used to shower at night, i would wake up with my hair everywhere so wearing a hat to keep it all down was my only solution.

get regular haircuts. before i got a job, i had to wait for my parents to take me to get it cut. now, i go atleast once a month so it's freshly cut and looks much better. the shorter it is, the easier it is to keep clean.

If it's still not enough, try a tiny bit of gel in your hair to keep it still.
when i got a job in retail, i started wearing gel so that i didn't always have to fix my hair. i put no more than a blob in my hand, rub my hands together then pass it through my hair and then i can place it, by the time i get to work, it's all nice and hard and it stays like that for as long as I don't touch it or don't get sweaty. I use Dippity Do Sports #9 gel.

and the last tip: get a girlfriend. before, i used to freak out when my hair looked out of place. "what if she won't go out with me just because i have a bad hair day?" once I got a gf, i just didn't care what other girls thought. and i never care what other guys think. Guys aren't supposed to care about other guys hair.

good luck with all that!

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ngdawg

Shave your head. Problem solved.

Related: One of my bosses wore a toupee. Covered 3/4 of his head. I don't care how expensive it is, a toupee can be seen as a toupee. He's a nice looking guy, but all I could see was the fake hair.
Two days ago, I go to work and.............no hair!! Bald. Mr. Clean bald. Telly Savalas hairless. Took my breath away! Best thing he could have done and if he ever shows up with a head of hair again, I'm gonna tug it off....
2nd related: My dad had a ridiculous amount of hair when he was young, but he had tufts that wouldn't stay down. So, he slept with a stocking on his head. Then he got drafted, they shaved his head....he hasn't had hair problems since, in 53 years. Well, he sort of did in the 70's- younger barbers didn't know how to do 'crewcuts'.

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Jetée

Real men don't own hair.


And ngdawg: Why would you 'tug' at a man's self-esteem like that? Your co-worker found a way to overcome his insecurities, and if ever he finds a way to overcome his male-pattern baldness, you would just as easily take that away from him, too?
I would say the equivalent is noticing woman getting cosmetic surgery for whatever reason and having some old yokel poking and tugging and gawking at her.




Be confident in how you appear and the rest will come naturally.

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As human beings, our greatness lies not so much in being able to remake the world (that is the myth of the Atomic Age) as in being able to remake ourselves.

—Mohandas K. Gandhi

Adri

I second the shaved head suggestion. Bald men are sexy. My husband has really thick curly hair and he shaved his head several years ago, and he jokes that he'll never be able to grow it back. He gets hot and sweaty if he has more than 1/4" of hair growth. *lol*

QuasiMondo

Damnit, you beat me to it. I used to have problems like that. Had a nice afro, but it's hard to keep an afro from going sideways. So one day, I went to the barber, sat down in his chair and told him to take it all off. My only regret was that I did it in the middle of February and I had no hat.

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Cameron originally envisioned the Terminator as a small, unremarkable man, giving it the ability to blend in more easily. As a result, his first choice for the part was Lance Henriksen. O. J. Simpson was on the shortlist but Cameron did not think that such a nice guy could be a ruthless killer.

-From the Collector's Edition DVD of The Terminator

kittybitme

sounds like you need to untuck your junk and be a man. it's hair and if you are that uptight about your hair, you are in for a long painful life.

kurty[B]

On a day you don't have to work, take a shower in the morning, dry your hair, and without putting any product in it just run your hands back and forth through your hair quickly so it's going everywhere. Don't primp, don't comb, just let it finish drying and go out and about and watch people's reactions.

My other suggestions, wear a hat if it bothers you that much, or shave your head like ngdawg suggests.

ngdawg

Guess you aren't aware that I'm a smartass....that was said in jest...
I think it's a really bold move to be able to walk into a familiar place sans hair, specially if you thought you were fooling everyone before with the fake stuff. But if he put it back on, I think he'd be foolish in doing so.
I do know a girl who had a nosejob and her uncle, being basically clueless, 'tweaked' the new nose out of silliness and thusly destroyed the work. My sister got breast implants; she gets plenty of gawking. Ironically, I do not have them, but that doesn't stop some people from asking "Are those real?" People are going to be stupid no matter what you do .../end threadjack


dalnet22-if you do go the shaved route, be prepared for the questions, the commentary, etc.; rehearse smartass comebacks.

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Don't blame me. I didn't vote for either of'em.

snowy

My advice is: Get over it. Really. Hair is hair.

This is coming from a girl who was teased horribly about her hair all through junior high and high school. I have wild, wavy, sometimes curly, poofy, coarse, frizzy hair. I just had to get over it, and I learned to love what I have.

Like ng said...you can always just shave it off.

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Plan9

Bad hair day?

GO ARMY DOT COM!

No hair, no problem!

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Whatever you can carry.

"You should not drink... and bake."

glooper23

Thanks for the replies. I did go the buzzed route, and it worked. But now, I love my longer hair. I just like it more when it doesn't look bad. I'm trying to force myself to not care when it looks bad, but it's hard. I lived my whole life with short hair.

Jetée

I knew the comment was said in a light-hearted tone, thus that is why my respones was semi-sarcastic, semi-inquisitive. I would just like to see the scenario where your co-worker found a revolutionary regiment to regrow his hair, and then seeing someone trying to rip it off.

But I can see your point in only moving forward, and not being allowed to regreess.


I'm sorry to ask, but are you the same person who orginally asked what to do about his hair? I am confused because I see you just now joining in this discussion.

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As human beings, our greatness lies not so much in being able to remake the world (that is the myth of the Atomic Age) as in being able to remake ourselves.

—Mohandas K. Gandhi

MexicanOnABike

yes, this is weird. 2 different usernames. what gives?

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glooper23

lol sorry, I had decided to universally change my online username a while back. I sometimes log in with both of them, my bad. Take dalnet22 as if it's me, glooper23.

tooth

Correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't that a big no-no here?

If you just want a different username here, email an admin and see what they can do for you. On other boards I frequent, people have had their usernames changed without creating a new account.

Willravel

'nuff said.

glooper23

To avoid the hair and buzz your head, isn't that just avoiding the real problem? I feel like the real issue is I can't accept myself for who I am. I'm getting really frustrated because there's no rational reason to dislike the way my hair looks. But for some reason, it's hard to convince myself otherwise.

Willravel

It's an option. It's hardly avoidance.

Martian

It is an option. However, there are some guys out there who may like having long hair, yet not be too pleased about the hassles of dealing with it sometimes.

I've found that a little pomade goes a long way. Mind, I tend to slick my hair back lately, which keeps it quite manageable but may not work for everyone. The point is, don't be afraid of a little product in the morning after you get out of the shower. It goes a long way towards keeping things looking right.

And yeah, to what other people said. Folks notice when I don't slick my hair back, but other than that I've never really gotten any negative comments on my hair, even when I think it's a dreadful mess.

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I get through cryin' and I'm sadder than before I wept
I get through thinkin' now, and the thoughts have left my head
I get through speakin' and I can't remember, not a word that I said

- Ben Harper, Show Me A Little Shame

Sultana

Styling tips are not going to help here; he's got to get over his obsession with his hair. The problem is inside his head, not on top of it. (so clever I am!)

You know how folks who are afraid of spiders have that therapy where they force themselves to get a little closer to spiders, ultimately ending up holding one for a while? I think you would benefit from a variation of that. And when you catch yourself thinking about your hair, *conciously CHOOSE* to stop thinking about it. Switch to something else. Over and over and over and over again, as needed.

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At night, the ice weasels come." -

Matt Groening

My goal? To fulfill my potential.

Nimetic

Gee. I can't identify. But I think you'll relax on it over time.

Have you got a girlfriend... or partner.. Hobbies? Sports? I think that other interests might help.

glooper23

Thank you.

Demeter

Quit wearing pants. Nobody will notice your hair.

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